Kristen Lamb

Author, Blogger, Social Media Jedi

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Posts Tagged: Kristen Lamb

NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Going pro, go pro and stay pro, becoming a professional writer, how to be a professional author, Kristen Lamb, habits of success

National Novel Writing Month is here (NaNoWriMo), which is a challenge to write 50K words in thirty days. Yep, write a ‘novel’ in a month, right in the holiday season. Because guess what? There IS no perfect time to write that novel…especially for those who want to go pro and stay pro.

Today’s tips, however, are evergreen. Good for every day and month and year, even if you are not writing a novel. Yet, when I’ve challenged folks in the past to at least TRY NaNoWriMo, I would get questions like this in the comments.

Blog Question: Kristen, I really want to do NaNoWriMo, but why did they have to choose NOVEMBER?

Dear Commenter,

NaNoWriMo chose November because it was probably started by writers and we are sadists who are trained to make people suffer. Also, writing will make you choose between your characters and family eventually, so get used to it. Bringing novels into the family is like adopting foster children/families who chew on the furniture and shoot guns in the air.

And look at the benefits. Holidays are priceless inspiration for baggage, drama, conflict, AND it’s socially acceptable to live off candy because it’s the “holiday season.” Do you really want to be challenged to write 50,000 words in a month in JANUARY, fueled by celery and sore from the gym? Or November, in stretchy pants, fueled by fudge, nacho dip and rum balls?

You’re welcome ūüėČ ….

Whether or not you are doing NaNoWriMo, these tips will help you go pro because for the pros? Every month is NaNoWriMo. Learn to embrace the G.R.I.N.D.

NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Going pro, go pro and stay pro, becoming a professional writer, how to be a professional author, Kristen Lamb, habits of success

Most of us are going to have to work a day job and write so NaNoWriMo is a fantastic crucible. We also have a family and like me, you probably have spoiled them by actually feeding them every day. The world is not going to pause because we are writing a book.

Other writers frequently ask how I somehow manage to get a lot of stuff done, despite my having the attention span of an ADHD spider monkey…with a bad crack habit.

1. Make lists.

NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Going pro, go pro and stay pro, becoming a professional writer, how to be a professional author, Kristen Lamb, habits of success

I get distracted easily, so a list reminds me of what I need to get accomplished. I make separate lists—housework, fiction, non-fiction, business stuff, global domination using sea monkeys. Then, once I have the list, I do the hardest thing on my writing and business lists FIRST (housework can WAIT).

Like Covey says…

Never mistake the urgent for the important.

Do that NaNoWriMo word count right away. Just get it DONE.

2. Understand that feelings are pathological liars.

NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Going pro, go pro and stay pro, becoming a professional writer, how to be a professional author, Kristen Lamb, habits of success

Writing is a profession, not a playpen.

Professionals ignore their feelings and do it anyway. Only children, amateurs and spirit mediums¬†listen to their feelings. Feelings are fickle, lazy, and secretly jealous of your work and a tad pissed that you no longer hang out with them as much as you used to. The secret to success is to work your tail off. Be willing get up earlier and stay up later than others. Be willing to do what others won’t.

But I wanna write books. I don’t wanna do social media, toooooo. It’s haaaaard.

Yes. It is. There are many reasons this profession is not for everyone.

3. Use the Force…of self-discipline.

NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Going pro, go pro and stay pro, becoming a professional writer, how to be a professional author, Kristen Lamb, habits of success

Who cares HOW you get things done, so long as they get done?

I use the “Swiss Cheese” approach. I have my list and I take bite after bite after bite until the work is finished. Every book can be written in 250, 500, or 1,000 word bites and NaNoWriMo is no exception.

I CANNOT work linearly, so I don’t try and yes I was always in trouble in school but public schools were designed to train factory workers and corporate mind slaves, not people who get paid to play with imaginary friends.

Even I don’t get a pass during NaNoWriMo. I have blogs to write (LOTS of words that don’t count for NaNoWriMo), edits to complete, classes to prepare then teach, bills to pay, bookkeeping, taxes, laundry, litter boxes, and dirty dishes. #GlamorousLife

4. Mix it up.

NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Going pro, go pro and stay pro, becoming a professional writer, how to be a professional author, Kristen Lamb, habits of success

I am a writer, wife, entrepreneur, teacher, and mom who has yet to make enough money to afford servants (which sucks), and cats make lousy slaves. This means I get to do most of the cooking, cleaning, laundry and housework. Write your 200 words, fold a load of whites, empty the dishwasher, then write another 200 words.

Chip at the NaNoWriMo goal a hundred words at a time.

I LOVE audio books when my brain needs a break from MY writing. I can always tell writers who aren’t avid readers, because their writing sucks.

Want to be a great author? Read as much as humanly possible. I listen to audio books while doing housework. It makes the dishes go faster and hones my skills. It revitalizes the muse and keeps me in right-brain mode.

And I don’t want to hear,¬†Oh well when I am writing I don’t like to read because that author’s voice will bleed over into my work.

All I have to say about that is If only we could be that frigging lucky!

Yes, please let Gillian Flynn infiltrate and hijack my work. Like NOW!

5. Suck it up, Buttercup.

NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Going pro, go pro and stay pro, becoming a professional writer, how to be a professional author, Kristen Lamb, habits of success

Understand that sometimes—especially during NaNoWriMo—we will have to sit for a long time and focus. It’s hard. Whaaaaaaahhhhh, but anyone who thinks being a writer is a fluffy hamster dream has been hanging out with their feelings…and feelings lie, sabotage and will talk you into living on ice cream and cookie sprinkles.

6. Make mean writer friends.

NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Going pro, go pro and stay pro, becoming a professional writer, how to be a professional author, Kristen Lamb, habits of success

Yes, the Swiss Cheese approach works well for people with ADD, and yes, there are times we need to duct tape our a$$es to the chair. This is why I befriend really mean people who kinda scare me. On the surface my friends are funny and sweet and would do anything for a friend…but that’s the issue. They will do anything for a friend, including ordering a hit on my television.

Come hang out on W.A.N.A.Tribe. It is a Ning I created just for writers and guess what? It is all writing all the time and no one spams or trolls or rants about whatever the Drama De Jure happens to be. Facebook is there for those who desire to be hysterical, depressed and spammed.

Since I don’t wanna listen to or see that crap, I built my OWN social site, because it’s cheaper than therapy or a criminal defense attorney. On W.A.N.A.Tribe I rule. I’m a kind, loving but vengeful god and will smite asshattery.

So if you need to escape Facebook and find those mean friends? We are there. We have been doing sprints on the CHAT page for OVER TWO YEARS. M-F (M-S for NaNoWriMo) all day every day even holidays.

I kick your @$$ every day free of charge.

You’re welcome.

*polishes riding crop*

7. Ditch loser friends.

NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Going pro, go pro and stay pro, becoming a professional writer, how to be a professional author, Kristen Lamb, habits of success

We all have them or have had them. People who like to complain, make excuses, indulge in their feelings all the time.

Ditch writers (and other people) who believe in luck, not work. Laziness, apathy, and whining are contagious. Treat excuses like EBOLA. A friend coughs blood excuses all over you, and, within two to three days, you start coughing up blood excuses, too…until your dream of being a writer liquifies and bleeds out and I hope you’re happy with yourself.

Killer.

8. Forget perfection (especially for NaNoWriMo).

NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Going pro, go pro and stay pro, becoming a professional writer, how to be a professional author, Kristen Lamb, habits of successPerfection is an urban legend, started by Feelings (because Feelings are a needy boyfriend/girlfriend who don’t understand the world does not revolve around them.)

The world doesn’t reward perfection; it rewards finishers.

This is the big lesson NaNo is really trying to teach you. Often we lose focus on what we are REALLY doing, because we are getting sidetracked with nitpicking. Guess what, no half-finished novel ever became a runaway best-seller…but more than a few crappy-but-finished ones have.

9. Exercise.

NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Going pro, go pro and stay pro, becoming a professional writer, how to be a professional author, Kristen Lamb, habits of success

Stuck on the WIP? Brain in a fog? Can’t seem to get the words down? Yeah, well hard truth time. Human bodies were not designed to sit on their butts all day. Our lymphatic and circulatory systems can only do their jobs if we add in physical activity.

Blood flow improves and our body can return the blood pooling at our feet fresh, oxygenated and revitalized (filtered through lymphatic system) back to OUR BRAINS where we kinda need it.

Again, I strongly recommend audio books. Cleaning counts as exercise if you do it properly ūüėõ . This is working smarter, not harder. Shiny floors¬†and absorb greatness from literary legends while stimulating the right-brain. #Genius

10. Drink lots of water.

NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Going pro, go pro and stay pro, becoming a professional writer, how to be a professional author, Kristen Lamb, habits of success

Human bodies are a hydroelectric system, and water enhances conductivity (way better when we MOVE). Cool writer ideas/thoughts work this way.

Muse Pixies of Awesomeness are conducted through your brain to your fingers and they bring the cool story stuff. MPAs like to travel via fairy, or ferry on WATER. They can’t travel if the waterways are too dry and moor them on a cookie sprinkle…and then you can’t focus.

It’s science. Don’t argue.

I hope these tips help, because finishing NaNo is no easy task. In fact, I am creating this post during sprints (as in right now) on W.A.N.A.Tribe. Then, I’ll use it to get through edits and work then NaNoWriMo words.

Hop on the CRAZY TRAIN!!

Last year everyone who sprinted finished NaNoWriMo in record time…because they had to keep up with me (my record is finishing in 11 days). If you want to really experience the professional pace, come join us! Once a member, hit the CHAT tab and we are there every day and usually all day.

No ads, trolls, family, drama, politics, distractions, or spam. 100% HUSTLE. Okay that’s a wee lie. We hustle 40 minutes, I call time, we report what we accomplished, chat a few minutes then go again. So like 92% HUSTLE. All the social without the spam ūüėÄ .

****FTY—If you sign up I have to personally approve you to make sure we keep bots out, so relax.

Share your thoughts! Ideas, suggestions, struggles, tips, recipes using hard liquor?

I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU! And I am NOT above BRIBERY!

What do you WIN? For the month of NOVEMBER, for everyone who leaves a comment, I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly. I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

*****Saturday’s blog had a special contest for a free class,¬†and Laura Drake is the winner.

Winner of OCTOBER’s Comment Contest is Susie Murphy. Please send your 5000 word WORD document to kristen at wana intl dot com. Double-spaced, 12 point Times New Roman font and one inch margins. Needs to be a regular doc or docx because I use track changes.

For subscribers, click to my site to view gallery of upcoming classes (gallery doesn’t show up for you). But here are the two biggies coming up…

BRAND BOSS! When Your NAME ALONE Can SELL! November 9th, 7-9 EST and comes with FREE RECORDING. $45 for General Admission, GOLD Option Available!

PLOT BOSS! Writing Novels Readers WANT TO BUY! November 16th, 7-9 EST and comes with FREE RECORDING. $40 for General Admission, GOLD Option Available!

Blurb - Cait Reynolds
BLURB BOSS: Writing Blurbs that SELL BOOKS. $45.00 USD. Friday, November 10, 2017. 7:00-9:00 p.m. EST. Click the image to register!
BRAND BOSS! When Your Name Alone Can Sell. $45 USD. Tuesday, Nov. 14, 2017, 7:00-9:00 p.m. EST. Click the image to register!
PLOT BOSS: Writing novels readers want to buy! $40 USD. Thurs., Nov. 16, 2017. 7:00-9:00 p.m. EST. Click the image to register!
Bad Boys. $45.00 USD. Friday, November 17, 2017. 7:00-9:00 p.m. EST. Click the image to register!

mastering fear, how to master fear and put it to work, the power of fear, fear and creativity, Kristen Lamb, power over fear, conquering fear, facing fear

Learn how to master fear then put it to work. Seems so simple. Scratch that. Fear? It’s terrifying! Humans live in a world soaked in fear, always have and always will. Fear is valid, necessary and keeps us alive. Yet, fear is a double-edged blade that can harm us or take out our darkest demons.

The trick (and the treat) is making sure we’re in charge. Face fear then train that junkyard dog to be a sled dog that powers us to go the LONG distance.

We might be writers, but it doesn’t mean we’re hermetically sealed in front of a keyboard and immune from being scared sh…..witless. Life throws a lot at us. Family, bills, bad health, accidents, crises and on and on. Life is tough and no one gets out alive ūüėČ . Yet, while life can be tough, we can learn to be tougher.

Humans are wired for faith. We have faith in cars (that they won’t turn on us and murder us), that when we flip on a switch, lights come on instead of death by electrocution. We have faith in our 401Ks, our friends, our insurance companies. Faith is all around us and we use it so much we don’t notice. Ah, but here’s the kicker…

Fear is faith in the wrong things. 

The first step to mastering fear is to redirect faith to the RIGHT things, then over time this helps develop mental toughness.

Fear is ALL Mind Over Matter

mastering fear, how to master fear and put it to work, the power of fear, fear and creativity, Kristen Lamb, power over fear, conquering fear, facing fear

Mastering fear is fundamentally deciding what matters. Notice I used deciding. It is active. We are not flotsam, whisked along powerlessly. WE are the master of our thoughts, not the other way around. Every thought can become a choice with enough training.

Training mental toughness involves admitting we’re afraid to begin with. We can’t conquer what we deny even exists. This often requires brutal honesty with ourselves, which can hurt like hell. Yet, when we avoid our fear, it’s akin to leaving a bullet inside us and only treating the bloody, festering hole with bandages, Bactine and kale.

The bullet of fear must faced to be removed for any healing to happen. When we leave fear alone because we know it will hurt digging it out, it drains us, makes us sick, and slowly kills us.

And no, I hadn’t thought about writing inspirational greeting cards, but now that you mention it… ūüėÄ .

Today I want to talk about fears common to writers. We might wrestle with one or all of them at any given point. But the point of this post is you are not alone. The odd thing about fear is it likes to weak masks and, since today is Halloween, what better day to discuss fear and the masks it wears?

The Procrastination Mask

mastering fear, how to master fear and put it to work, the power of fear, fear and creativity, Kristen Lamb, power over fear, conquering fear, facing fear

First, the BIGGIE! Many of us struggle with procrastination, and we often have a¬†good reason¬†for why we can’t finish the book. Someday later and down the road.¬†We tell ourselves we can write when we finish X.

X is a mask for fear which can often look like laundry, dishes, or the day job. Procrastination often is not the problem at all, only a guise for what we believe¬†we can’t bear to face.

Fear might resemble our “aching need” to watch cartoons with the kids instead of revising the WIP (work in progress). We want to be a good parent. Wouldn’t want our kids growing up then using a chainsaw on us in our sleep because they believed we abandoned them?

Hmmm, better stop and make cookies for the whole class and volunteer to coach the soccer team, too. I can bring my writing to the soccer game! Genius! 

Not.

Fear in this form gives all kinds of excellent reasons the writing can wait and wait and why everyone and everything else is a priority. It’s a lie. Procrastination is fear.¬†We might be terrified we really don’t know how to write, that maybe we really don’t have a plot, that maybe we have no clue what we are doing.

Maybe we totally suck.

We might be afraid of finishing because we’re terrified of rejection. Or maybe we are afraid of success.

What if my mother thinks she’s the demon who feasts on dreams of children in my book? I mean she IS, but will she figure it out? Can she sue me? Better switch genres.

It’s easier to be a maybe-one-day-super-star than to finish and face whatever music awaits.

The Perfection Guise

mastering fear, how to master fear and put it to work, the power of fear, fear and creativity, Kristen Lamb, power over fear, conquering fear, facing fear

Next on our list? Perfection. This flawless fatale is an excellent disguise for fear. She is the perfect mask for fear because perfect is an illusion thus, by definition, unattainable. We fail before we start.

Unmask that sucker! There’s no such thing as a perfect novel, or a perfect anything.

Someone somewhere will not like what we write, cook, wear, how we parent and on and on so learn to embrace being flawed.

Perfect is the enemy of the good, the nemesis of the finished.

National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) starts tomorrow. Can you write 50,000 words in 30 days? Many writers will start NaNo and never finish because they’ll keep going back and polishing prose. They will get and likely remain STUCK.

Yet the GOAL of NaNoWriMo is solely to put 50K words ON THE PAGE…not¬†perfect words. The point of NaNo is to train you to think like a pro. Pros get words on page and we polish later. We write no matter what is going on in life…including cooking for holidays.

Writers WRITE.

The Indecision Disguise

mastering fear, how to master fear and put it to work, the power of fear, fear and creativity, Kristen Lamb, power over fear, conquering fear, facing fear

We switch genres, start new projects, start a blog, stop blogging, start another. We are going to query, no self-publish, no indie. Wait. Maybe a pen name. That way no one will know if our book sucks. Maybe two pen names. Maybe witness protection would take us?

We need to think on this more.

NOPE.

Indecision is where most dreams get stuck then die. Forgotten remnants of ideas, dreams, stories stored in catacombs of computer files. Buried in unmarked graves, no one to mourn their loss other than us. We’re guilty and ashamed we left them, but didn’t know what to do, how to make it right, how to fix things so we did…nothing.

No decision is STILL a decision.

Be the BIG BOSS

mastering fear, how to master fear and put it to work, the power of fear, fear and creativity, Kristen Lamb, power over fear, conquering fear, facing fear

Remember that final line from Labyrinth, when Sarah finally figures out why she’s been losing? How she shatters the Goblin King’s plan? One line.

You have no power over me.

Truth is, maybe your book does stink. Maybe you have no plot or any idea how the heck to have a blog or where to begin? How to keep going? Guess what?

I’ve been there! My first novel is duct taped in a box in the garage because we can’t potty train it and it bites.

I had to learn and find mentors and brace for tough truth, cry, have some chocolate and try again. I didn’t know how to write or plot. Okay, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t learn. I also didn’t know how to¬†blog or the hidden mysteries of SEO and social media. I had to figure it out.

I am still figuring all of this out. Getting better each and every day by making sure I AM THE BIG BOSS. Fear? SIT! Heel!

Growing is Painful

Facing we’re inadequate hurts. Yet, we cannot learn a craft, how to be an artisan, a master¬†by relying on theory. We need classes, we need training, but we also learn by DOING. This means, we do it afraid. We step out, fail, try again, learn, fail some more. Do it enough and fear dissipates because confidence cannot be purchased, it must be bought in blood and tears.

REMEMBER! We ALL start somewhere. It is OKAY to be new.

Regular people seem to believe writing is easy and anyone can do what we do. Don’t believe me? Seriously they are cute that they think our skills are so simple! BWA HA HA HA HA! Nope.

Exhibit A:

mastering fear, how to master fear and put it to work, the power of fear, fear and creativity, Kristen Lamb, power over fear, conquering fear, facing fear

Hmmm. Maybe those cutbacks on actual journalists and good editors was a bad plan after all.

We are all in the same boat and, in my experience, the only writers who believe their writing is perfect are unteachable hacks. Writers plagued by self-doubt, riddled with insecurity? First get over it. But this doubt is also a really good sign you’re probably not as bad as you believe. Or, if you are? You’re teachable.¬†No biggie.¬†Let’s just fix it! #Duh

Now that we’ve been through the major fears and how to beat these “monsters” I’d like to finish with a treat. First, it IS Halloween (even though it’s pretty much Halloween all year in our house). If you want some AMAZING dark reads?

Reading TREATS!

mastering fear, how to master fear and put it to work, the power of fear, fear and creativity, Kristen Lamb, power over fear, conquering fear, facing fear

The Mortician’s Daughter–One Foot in the Grave, a dark paranormal Young Adult by C.C. Hunter OUT TODAY! I could NOT put this book down. Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill. OMG! I’ve listened to this one at least 20 times on Audible. Brilliant, layered and Hill makes me question my own ability to write *sobs*. Finally, a staple literary horror The Prisoner of Hell Gate by Dana L. Wolff, another story best experienced on audio (though I have paper and audio for both).

What are your thoughts? Are you afraid? Did you see yourself in any of my examples? Pen names, switching genres, unable to finish, stuck in perfectionism? Welcome to being a REAL WRITER!

Share your thoughts!

I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU! And I am NOT above BRIBERY!

What do you WIN? For the month of OCTOBER, for everyone who leaves a comment, I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly. I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

*****Saturday’s blog had a special contest for a free class, but I need time to go through the comments so will announce BOTH winners next post!

For subscribers, click to my site to view gallery of upcoming classes (gallery doesn’t show up for you). But here are the two biggies coming up…

BRAND BOSS! When Your NAME ALONE Can SELL! November 9th, 7-9 EST and comes with FREE RECORDING. $45 for General Admission, GOLD Option Available!

PLOT BOSS! Writing Novels Readers WANT TO BUY! November 16th, 7-9 EST and comes with FREE RECORDING. $40 for General Admission, GOLD Option Available!

Blurb - Cait Reynolds
BLURB BOSS: Writing Blurbs that SELL BOOKS. $45.00 USD. Friday, November 10, 2017. 7:00-9:00 p.m. EST. Click the image to register!
BRAND BOSS! When Your Name Alone Can Sell. $45 USD. Tuesday, Nov. 14, 2017, 7:00-9:00 p.m. EST. Click the image to register!
PLOT BOSS: Writing novels readers want to buy! $40 USD. Thurs., Nov. 16, 2017. 7:00-9:00 p.m. EST. Click the image to register!
Bad Boys. $45.00 USD. Friday, November 17, 2017. 7:00-9:00 p.m. EST. Click the image to register!

Successful People, Habits of Successful People, Kristen Lamb, business success, improving sales, selling books, life changing results

Successful people can seem like they have some kind of magic powers beyond our understanding. For us mere mortals, it often feels like money, fame, fortune and contentment just rain down on these folks from the heavens. GASP!

Truth is, successful people have three simple habits for excellence (habits WE can learn).

Granted, they actually have more than three habits, but today we’re focusing on the BIG ONES. It’s Saturday. Let’s have fun and give our brains a break.

These are habits we can use in every area of life. What are three simple habits our mentors or heroes have that we don’t? What do successful people DO differently? What is their “magic”? For any success? Business, life, marriage, parenting or even a life of joy and contentment, what are the basics?

Understand though, simple is not synonymous with easy. Simple is simple, but rarely easy.

I’ve worn a lot of hats over the years from retail to software to sales and now blogger, editor, entrepreneur. I’ve read countless books on success and then applied what I learned. I stepped out, fell on my face, tripped, failed, learned, whined, grew, read more books, tried again, won THEN CRASHED.

I put out the flames and started over and I work hard to use these tough lessons to get better day by day. I’m always searching for ways to grow, to fire out weaknesses and improve.

I’m currently part of an on-line entrepreneur mentorship program. At first, I was super excited. Now?

I see it quickly devolving into what makes so many writing groups, on-line support groups, businesses, families and marriages unravel and all for the same exact reason.

Selfishness.

On and on about their business, what they can sell, can they put up a price list? Ugh. Only talking to me so they can sell me something (manipulation). They don’t give a rip about me at all, only my debit card.

Reminds me of the old Toby Keith song…I WANNA TALK ABOUT ME!

The group’s mission statement involved entrepreneurs networking, learning, growing and locating mentors. Yet it’s becoming a “What Can I SELL YOU?” thread with a quickness. I’ve seen this happen with almost every single writing support group. These groups begin with service and end in spam.

Buy my book! Have you bought my book? Can you review my book?

Sigh.

Too many people want a shortcut, to take without serving, listening, hearing, and engaging and realizing someone else in the world exists other than THEM.

That’s sadly why the success they long for never arrives because manipulation is a lousy foundation for…pretty much everything. Ergo why Cait and I are going to continue our posts on grifts and how writers being manipulated and used.

For now, though I’m going to focus on YOU ūüėÄ .

#1—Successful People Serve

life changing results, Successful People, Habits of Successful People, Kristen Lamb, business success, improving sales, selling books

I’d like to say I was born a completely selfless person devoid of any personal agendas, but yeah. I try to keep my lying to my fiction. I even wrote a post¬†Pride, Perfectionism and Anger—Confessions of a Recovering Jerk¬†because I want all of you to know you are not alone.

I might be an “expert” but I’ve worked very hard to make it clear that I struggle. Every day I work to check my agenda. Am I talking to someone, being kind, offering help to serve first? Or, do I want something later?

There’s a difference between motivation and manipulation. Motivation is for the benefice of others. Manipulation always looks like “helping others” but it’s all about ME, I, MINE. People are a means to an end.

Which consumers pick up on and then will avoid the manipulator like Ebola, btw…

Over time (and a lot of failures) I learned to value others not because I wanted something from them, but because valuing others is part of possessing good character.

All authentic success has a foundation of integrity and service above self. Great businesses focus on serving not selling.

My motive for blogging for FREE is to serve. If class sales follow? Great, I really dig electricity and eating. Whoo-hoo! But even then my business mission statement is: Superior and affordable training to shape emerging writers into successful, professional commercial authors.

See? Service ūüėÄ .

#2—Successful People Remember

life changing results, Successful People, Habits of Successful People, Kristen Lamb, business success, improving sales, selling books

They remember a lot about¬†other people.¬†It’s because they make a point to do this. They recall faces, names, hobbies, victories, struggles, and the stories of¬†others.

The best advice I can give might initially seem silly, but the best way to show people you value them is to ask for and then remember their name. All people, not just people who can do something for us.

I hear this all the time,¬†I am SO bad at remembering names.¬†This is an excuse, one I used for a long time, myself. Thus, I’m totally NOT judging.

Hard truth is we can remember names when we think the name/person is important.

If I was at a conference and there was a mega agent I wanted to get eyes on MY BOOK. Oh heck to the yeah I’d remember THAT NAME. Some millionaire wanting to give out seed money for struggling authors? Yup. Would remember that one, too.

Thus my excuse of “being bad at names” crumbles under the litmus of motive and agenda.¬†The challenge then is to work on authentic connection with all who cross our path, not just people who can get us an angle.

Remembering names and people is a habit of excellence and builds integrity.

Okay, how?

life changing results, Successful People, Habits of Successful People, Kristen Lamb, business success, improving sales, selling books

The best way to remember names is to first get the name. I look at name tags in grocery stores (ask if no tag available), then call the person BY their name. I talk to the person slicing my deli meat, ask questions and then listen. Then answer the person BY NAME.

Using a name makes it more likely we will remember it.

Remembering names places me in a mindset of valuing others, slowing down and thinking of other people first with no agenda other than kindness. This habit will pay off major dividends not only in our spirit, but the hearts of others.

When it comes to business, our odds of success improve because people are tired of being sold to non-stop. They’re weary of folks who only talk to them or know they exist when they want something.

#3—Successful People LISTEN

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Successful people listen first, act later. Effective entrepreneurs listen to what consumers are in need of, what problem needs solving, and then act.¬†Their business, service, product is FOR others, not solely “to make money.” People don’t like feeling like walking piggy banks, FYI.

Great authors listen to the world around them and pay attention. These writers seek out stories audiences crave even when the readers might not yet know that was JUST the story they wanted.

Yes, the writers want to sell books #DUH. But SALES come organically as a result of connection gained from listening (and serving) first.

If we don’t listen with the goal to truly hear? We frustrate ourselves and others because we’re blathering opinions, suggestions, thoughts, services that might not even be salient let alone desired. In fact, might even peeve others off.

Kristen Lamb, habits of excellence, selling more books, successful people

Yet, if we’d stop and listen, we’d be in a far better position to connect authentically and be successful (with books, sales, kids, marriage, life). We’d be working smarter, not harder because we’d¬†know the actual need instead of guessing then blasting others with a scattergun.

In the end, simple changes in daily habits add up over time. It seems kindness, authenticity, excellence are great buzz words for sermons or self-help. Yet, these habits of excellence appeal to all humans (even ones buying stuff).

I know we all want the express elevator to the top, but it doesn’t exist. Anyone who says differently is selling us something completely useless (grift).

LET’S HAVE FUN! I WANNA TALK ABOUT YOU, JUST YOU! ALL YOU, YOU, YOU! I WANT TO KNOW YOU!

Tell me something about YOU!

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Doesn’t even have to do with this post. Have fun! What are your hobbies? Loves? Passions? Fears? Struggles? Favorite movies? Foods? Favorite songs? Greatest accomplishment? What are you most proud of? What do you love about writing?

Funniest thing ever happened to you? Worst date EVER? Best date ever? Tell us about your pets, your kids, your garden or quilting project. Pictures and links welcome! Show off! I am giving you the stage *bows dramatically*

I want to know about your dreams, your hopes,¬†about the bodies in your basement! …okay maybe not that. #Accomplice

I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU! And I am NOT above BRIBERY! I will pick someone for a FREE class recording from comments today AND enter you in usual contest.

What do you WIN? For the month of OCTOBER, for everyone who leaves a comment, I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly. I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

For subscribers, click to my site to view gallery of upcoming classes (gallery doesn’t show up for you). But here are the two biggies coming up…

BRAND BOSS! When Your NAME ALONE Can SELL! November 9th, 7-9 EST and comes with FREE RECORDING. $45 for General Admission, GOLD Option Available!

PLOT BOSS! Writing Novels Readers WANT TO BUY! November 16th, 7-9 EST and comes with FREE RECORDING. $40 for General Admission, GOLD Option Available!

Blurb - Cait Reynolds
BLURB BOSS: Writing Blurbs that SELL BOOKS. $45.00 USD. Friday, November 10, 2017. 7:00-9:00 p.m. EST. Click the image to register!
BRAND BOSS! When Your Name Alone Can Sell. $45 USD. Tuesday, Nov. 14, 2017, 7:00-9:00 p.m. EST. Click the image to register!
PLOT BOSS: Writing novels readers want to buy! $40 USD. Thurs., Nov. 16, 2017. 7:00-9:00 p.m. EST. Click the image to register!
Bad Boys. $45.00 USD. Friday, November 17, 2017. 7:00-9:00 p.m. EST. Click the image to register!

writing exposure, Exposure dollars, Pexel, Kristen Lamb, writers working for free, writers working for exposure

Writing exposure. A phrase that makes my left eye twitch. For over a decade, many writers have been killing themselves (and their careers) believing a lie, an illusion, and a flat out SCAM.¬†Countless writers have¬†been giving their best to launch their brand and their career, trusting those who claimed to be helping them…doing them a favor even.

NOT!

Writers and other creatives truly believed good content, diligence and hard work would pay off…and it does. Writing exposure doesn’t have to be dirty and predatory. Getting our name and work out there is critical in Web 2.0 (a brand/platform).

But…

We’ve been taken unfair advantage of, and this nonsense ends NOW. We’ve been part of an illusion. We knew writing was a gamble, yet many of us fell for a grift.

We thought we were a contender, never realizing we were actually the mark.

Yet, knowledge is power. There’s nothing wrong with risking and losing. In fact it’s necessary. We learn more from failure than success. We grow and mature and get better.

There are no sure wins, no sure-fire paths to success with an express elevator. Every path to being a contender is a gamble.

But if we keep losing and losing and losing…and losing, something is going horribly wrong. My goal today is to take yet one more step toward righting the wrongs committed against hard-working creatives and showing them a way to be free.

writing exposure, Exposure dollars, Pexel, Kristen Lamb, writers working for free, writers working for exposure
Image courtesy of Eflon via Flickr Creative Commons

Eighteen months ago, all I knew was I was angry—okay foaming at the mouth pissed OFF. I knew creatives were being used, just was unsure how. It’s taken me over a year and a half to figure out the hustle, to understand exactly what game the MEGAs are playing and how they’re using this to (often) play us for suckers.

***NOTE: For anyone new to this blog or series of posts, when I use the term MEGA, I’m referring to very large wealthy brands who are super fond of paying creative professionals in “exposure dollars”…all the while knowing that currency hasn’t been valuable since Abercrombie and Fitch was cool.

These brands are also wealthy enough to pay contributors, but why should they if content creators are so eager to work for free, for the golden writing exposure?

Yes, still looking at you Huffington Post.

As mentioned in my last post Pay the Writer 2–Out Hustle the Hustlers, the key (aside from realizing we’re being hustled in the first place) is to study the hustle long enough to unravel how it all works.

This important because we must know our weaknesses and how they’ve been used against us.

The LOVE of the GAME

writing exposure, Exposure dollars, Pexel, Kristen Lamb, writers working for free, writers working for exposure

In Neil Gaiman’s American Gods, one of the main characters, Wednesday—who’s a shameless con man and a grifter—relates the story of the infamous 19th century gambler, Canada Bill Jones, who was in a small town doing what he loved to do.

Gambling.

Of course Jones was also steadily losing. A friend tried to intercede and told him, “The game is rigged.” Jones’s famous reply was, “I know, but it’s the only game in town.”

Thing was, Jones loved to gamble. It was who he was, and his gambling was a passion that drove him and gave him some kind of pleasure, even while losing.

We writers can be the same way, blinded by a similar passion, which is why we can make easy marks paid in exposure dollars.

We love to write. It’s who we are and we’re often willing to do it for FREE. We are willing to keep writing even when we’re being taken unfair advantage of…because we love it so much.

Thing is, those who are most likely to prey on creatives¬†know that about us. They use this love—our passion—to keep us playing a losing game.

We might not see this weak spot, but predators will and do. The MEGAs couldn’t get away with the grift as successfully as they have if writers got smarter.

Which is where I come in. My first revelation is this:

The MEGAs are not the only game in town.

writing exposure, Exposure dollars, Pexel, Kristen Lamb, writers working for free, writers working for exposure

We might be gamblers, but we can refuse the grift.

We do have better and smarter options that pay out real money not “exposure dollars.”

The MEGAs have been playing the odds, wagering that writers would fail to see the grift and keep on hitting PUBLISH with the raw enthusiasm of a hamster randomly rewarded with a cheap sugar cube. 

When (or if) a writer complains about never being paid, the MEGA is there to gently remind the writer that the entertainment business is a gamble…which is not exactly a lie.

But it isn’t entirely the truth, either.

The problem is we believe we’re playing Publishing Poker at the BRAND Bellagio, when it’s more like the Content Cup Shuffle run by some shady dude on a street corner. He rooks us in with an “easy challenge” and a quick “win” that keeps the hustle going.

writing exposure, Exposure dollars, Pexel, Kristen Lamb, writers working for free, writers working for exposure
Image courtesy of oatsy40 Flickr Creative commons

Can we spot the peanut?

Eventually, we’re all hunting for a nut that’s no longer in play—unless you count us, because only a nut would think they could win this game.

The MEGA game (anything paying in only “exposure” dollars) can never be won…because it’s a hustle. The second every creative realizes this and refuses to play, the MEGA house of cards implodes.

Okay, so knowing writing is a gamble, it’s wise to learn how professional gambling operates so we can spot the game from the grift. We can leave Plastic Cup Dude the peanuts and get involved in a real game we can win.

Understanding how to win involves knowing what game to play and with whom. We need our work out there. Writing exposure critical, but we must control the game like pros.

Professional Poker

writing exposure, Exposure dollars, Pexel, Kristen Lamb, writers working for free, writers working for exposure
Image via Flickr Creative Commons courtesy of Goeffrey Fairchild

See, folks who make a living playing professional poker understand the casino is a means to an end and vice versa.¬†Pro gamblers don’t let the crystal and marble and all-you-can-eat buffets go to their heads. Flattery is rampant, but the pro shrugs it off.

It’s a distraction.

No professional gambler wins every single game. They also lose. Yet, in the end, the casino profits no matter what because they are in it for the long game. There are enough games going on for it to all work out. Some win, some lose but ultimately the chandeliers are paid for.

The pro gambler fundamentally understands this:

While the House is friendly, the House is not the gambler’s friend.¬†

The pro gambler always remembers and respects this difference. Yet, the House remembers and respects this as well. The House knows they need the gamblers, and it’s unwise to use and abuse the guests who pay the bills. They need to let the gamblers win.

Greed is a double-edged sword handled with care by both gambler and the House.

Professional Publishing IS a Gamble

writing exposure, Exposure dollars, Pexel, Kristen Lamb, writers working for free, writers working for exposure
Image via Flickr Creative Commons courtesy of Club Paf

Publishers, agents, magazines, and book distributors are not our friend, but this doesn’t make them our enemy either—much like the pro gambler and the casino.

Yet the difference in the street hustle versus the pro game is this:

The hustle is ALWAYS a parasitic relationship (one side works for exposure and the other gets PAID REAL MONEY).

With the pros, it’s a far more symbiotic partnership, with BOTH sides taking calculated risks, playing odds, hedging losses and everyone hoping to win big. BOTH SIDES get PAID REAL MONEY.

Legit publishers appreciate that¬†wins and losses generally balance out over time, so long as they aren’t being stupid. Sure the Big Five give Neil Gaiman the red carpet treatment, because he’s a high-roller.

Mr Gaiman has earned that red-carpet treatment because the House has made serious bank off his work (and even Neil Gaiman started out as a small time player in the beginning). Yet, after years of hard work and calculated risks, Neil Gaiman is a CONTENDER.

Contenders are the household name authors who bring the House enough revenue to cover that newbie who seemed so promising…yet fizzled.

For the pros, it is a game of balancing risk and reward for all.

The rest of us who are NOT yet a contender like Neil Gaiman have a path. We hone our craft, build our audience, build our brand, learn the business of our business.

We work hard and learn to be patient while also being simultaneously relentless….all the while appreciating the deck is stacked against us. Writing exposure vital, but must be done with strategy for the payoff.

writing exposure, Exposure dollars, Pexel, Kristen Lamb, writers working for free, writers working for exposure

Unlike 20th century publishing, there’s now more than one road that leads to being a CONTENDER.

There are a number of paths writers can take…but¬†they are all a gamble.¬†Legacy, small press, indie, self-pub, blog-to-book, crowd-sourcing, hybrid, and on and on. Lots of roads and many paths to being a CONTENDER.

This said some paths are not paths. They are DEAD ENDS where WE (writers) are the other white meat. These “paths” are scams. Writing exposure often means we’re just food for the MEGAs’ insatiable hunger for free content.

Writing Exposure: Gamble or Grift? How Can We Tell?

writing exposure, Exposure dollars, Pexel, Kristen Lamb, writers working for free, writers working for exposureGood question and there are a LOT of grifts going on, which we will systematically tackle in other posts. Today, for the sake of brevity, we’ll talk about the one that burns my tail more than any other and is the most common.

The Blog for Our MEGA & Use Our BIG Name & HUGE Audiences Grift

writing exposure, Exposure dollars, Pexel, Kristen Lamb, writers working for free, writers working for exposure

One of the best ways for writers to create a brand and eventually sell books and make money is to blog. That is a fact. How we go about it, however, makes a HUGE difference. MEGA brands, however, as mentioned in my previous post, keep us writing like it’s 1999.

Often a MEGA will come and say something like, “Hey! We saw your post on BLAH and love it! We want to showcase your talent!”

Beware of flattery.

“It’s easy, too!”

Beware of easy.

Often they will come at you with a plan that sounds like sheer genius. We may have blogged to the ether. We are tired and we’d like some help. We don’t want to go it all alone and are looking for some benevolent force to propel us to a new level…and they know that.

The MEGA might say something like:

“We don’t even expect you to write a new post. Why NOT repurpose something you’ve ALREADY written? We can get it to a larger audience. You can still write on your little blog and get our audience too. It’s a favor…really.”

Hmmm, maybe…

“AND you get exposed to our audience which is millions!¬†That and you can link back to YOUR blog and BE DISCOVERED!”

writing exposure, Exposure dollars, Pexel, Kristen Lamb, writers working for free, writers working for exposure

Before you get all excited about writing for exposure, ask the next logical question.

How did the MEGA know to contact you in the first place?

Often a MEGA will contact us because our post was doing well enough on its own to get their attention…meaning it can get the attention of OTHERS as well.

The reason this is a grift is the MEGAs know a couple things many writers do not.

First, they understand your content was good enough for people to notice—FOR THEM to notice–and they want to cash in on opportunity. If they can get our work (excellent & FREE bait) on their site, every click on our good work pays THEM MONEY because they’re optimized in a way we can never compete with.

We’re working for exposure while they are paid in cold hard cash.

writing exposure, Exposure dollars, Pexel, Kristen Lamb, writers working for free, writers working for exposure
Image via Jeremy Noble courtesy of Flickr Creative commons. Text added.

Secondly, they understand how search engines work. The MEGAs know search engines like Google penalize for duplicate content.

They know it is impossible for a writer to serve two digital masters.

What this means is that if I post a blog here on my blog and then the same post at Huffington…the bigger SEO shark wins.

In fact, even if I wrote two completely different blogs…bigger SEO shark would likely win because they beat me hands down with SEO (Search Engine Optimization).

I cannot compete with an entity that has tens or hundreds of writers putting out new content daily…short of cloning myself.

Anyone googling my name would be far more likely to find the MEGA and not me. The reader clicking on MY content will also PAY the MEGA and NOT me.

By blogging for exposure I am unwittingly cannibalizing my own brand and earning ability while building the ALREADY RICH MEGA….for FREE.

writing exposure, Exposure dollars, Pexel, Kristen Lamb, writers working for free, writers working for exposure

This is where we get smart about writing exposure. If I would’ve simply kept plugging along with the content that got the MEGA’s attention in the first place,¬†I’d KNOW I was doing something right…because THEY WANTED IT.

I’d have confirmation I was on my way to having my own audience¬†on my own site where eventually I’d make money off ads, books, merchandise, etc.

Sure I’m going to work for free but when I go it on my own, FREE¬†is only temporary.

It’s a gamble. We all know this! I will have to work hard, hone my craft, put in a lot of time and work and posts. I’ll have to take risks, try new things, and build my audience.

But THAT is the gamble NOT the grift ūüėČ .

What about you? What are your thoughts?

Have you been overwhelmed with social media? Tired? Worn out and all the love gone? Feel like a hamster in a wheel? Ready to get your power back? YOU ARE WORTH BEING PAID! Don’t know about you, but if we can have fair trade coffee, we can also get fair trade fiction, fair trade content. This nonsense MUST STOP!

Time to take back your power! I have some new classes below to help you out and show you HOW to play to WIN, so make sure to sign up.

I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU! And I am NOT above BRIBERY!

What do you WIN? For the month of OCTOBER, for everyone who leaves a comment, I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly. I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

Harnessing Writing Power! THE BLOG October 26th, 7-9 EST and comes with FREE RECORDING. $50 for General Admission, GOLD Option AVAILABLE!

BRAND BOSS! When Your NAME ALONE Can SELL! November 9th, 7-9 EST and comes with FREE RECORDING. $45 for General Admission, GOLD Option Available!

PLOT BOSS! Writing Novels Readers WANT TO BUY! November 16th, 7-9 EST and comes with FREE RECORDING. $40 for General Admission, GOLD Option Available!

 

Hey Guys, Cait Reynolds, my co-author/partner in crime/therapist/evil half is here to talk about the birds and the bees and maybe bees tying up other bees. The “How To” of writing superior sex scenes is vital, just uncomfortable for me. Sorry. I blame my upbringing.

I’m a Texan with a Lutheran mom and Baptist father. I grew up in the buckle of the Bible Belt, and have had far too much vacation bible camp to be much help. In fact, legally, I cannot write a sex scene until every member of my family dies…and likely not even then.

If you need help with plotting a fight scene or murder? I’m your gal.

All this said, roughly 80% of publishing is powered by the romance genre. This is a FACT.

I read a LOT of romance, myself. Sadly, however, there are “romances” so over-processed and crammed with filler they need a foil tray instead of a book cover.

TV Dinner sex scenes.

Tired, overdone, dry, uncreative and no one looks forward to consuming this stuff (unless starving and desperate).

Now, the great romances? Those suckers should come with warning labels. Those stories set us ON FIRE and do not relent until we are ash.

Though I know these books when I see them, not my skill set to teach, so Cait, A.K.A.¬†Bad Teacher taking over….

When to Have Sex? (Besides the, uh, obvious)

I need to clarify here that when I use the word ‘sex,’ it’s a kind of shorthand for a wide range of heat and scenes, from the breathless near-kiss to the no-holds-barred prolonged BDSM menage a trois.

With bees *giggles*….

Kristen, go away or I will stab you. Where was I?

Basically, when I use ‘sex,’ it means that physical arousal has become part of the scene and may influence emotions, insights, and decisions (good and bad but always “complicated”).

Whether we write it sweet or scaldingly hot, there always has to be a reason behind sex for our characters. Sex scenes are not exempt from the rules of plotting. Let me say that again.

SUPERIOR SEX SCENES SUBMIT TO THE RULES OF PLOTTING

And yes, I am all CAPS LOCK on you on the super important stuff and no talking back *adjusts leather yoga pants*.

As I was saying..

This is not to say that a character’s decision to give in to temptation has to be rational (in fact, it’s often better for the plot if it isn’t). However, sex must always fit coherently within the logical structure of the story.

We can’t just throw in a sex scene because it has been a chapter-and-a-half since our characters got it on.

Another cardinal sin is timing a sex scene when the emotions of the characters don’t match up to where they happen to be in their arc.

Let’s use Seraphina and Taylor (my favorite stand-in’s). If Seraphina is having trouble accepting that what Taylor did was for her own good, she is going to struggle emotionally and intellectually with the pull of intimacy with him. Too often, we flip a switch on Seraphina and have her go from manic to melting in the space of one kiss.

While she can certainly give in to the physical sensations, emotionally, she’s not going to be in the same place as her physiological responses. She’s going to be conflicted going into the moment, and who knows where she’ll be by the end of it?

THIS IS A GOOD THING.

Conflict is the living, beating heart of any story, and to excuse sex scenes from this rule is to water down both the meaningfulness and the sizzle of sex.

Suspension of disbelief is a fragile thing, and we run the risk of smashing it to pieces when we interrupt the logical flow of a story–something the reader is attuned to, even if they don’t know it.

In short, when it comes to a sex scene, we can’t just stick it in any ol’ place any ol’ time we feel like it (Sorry not sorry–I had to go there). When the moment is right (um, I have been reading too much of Kristen’s Cialis blog post), a good sex scene is just what the characters¬†and the plot need.

How to Have Sex (Besides the, uh, obvious)…

Let’s say we’re reading a mystery. We pick it up with the expectation of suspense, the pleasant anticipation of trying to figure out the whodunnit for ourselves before the detective, and a thrilling game of literary cat and mouse.

The author announces in chapter three that it was the butler in the library with the candelabra, and the rest of the book is spent finding more clues that confirm…yup, it was the butler in the library with the candelabra.

I don’t know about you, but I would be throwing that book across the room…unless I got off on reading the same conclusion over and over again. (Surprise! It was the butler in the library with the candelabra! *facepalm*)

So, why do we yet again exempt sex scenes from this basic rule of fiction?

SUPERIOR SEX SCENES ADHERE TO THE RULES OF PACING

If Seraphina and Taylor jump into the sack in chapter three (with or without the butler & candelabra optional), then what is left for them? Misunderstandings and emotional conflict?

Sure.

But…the snap, crackle, and pop when we break through the Latent Unresolved Sexual Tension (L.U.S.T.) is utterly and irrevocably gone.

There’s only ever one first time. One moment of true surrender. ONE.

After that, it’s just indulging in a habit with more or less consequences.

If we are writing high-heat romance or erotica, there is definitely an expectation of having lots of fairly explicit sex scenes. But there’s nothing that says we have to go all the way on the first date with the reader.

There’s a certain irony in the idea that we as writers are supposed to be endlessly creative, yet, when it comes to sex scenes, we too often tend to go for the obvious, low-hanging fruit (insert innuendo here).

Anticipation is the most powerful aphrodisiac. Highly intoxicating and addictive.

Temptation and then DENIAL of the NEED as long as possible. The longer the chase, bigger the payoff.

When we (readers) binge read a book, our hearts are pounding, and we simply cannot stop because we want…we¬†need¬†what has been denied over and over. The final act is called a CLIMAX for a reason. Remember that. Jot some notes if you need to.

We writers must understand that what arouses readers to a state of almost painful excitement is always the tease (yup, more innuendo). The author leads a merry chase–hinting, confusing, tantalizing, showing a bit of ankle, running in the opposite direction.

We loves her. We haves her. We needs the Precious!

LITERARY FOREPLAY IS CRITICAL!

Yep, more CAP LOCK there *cracks whip* *adjusts black-framed glasses* I’m being tough. #BadTeacher

Wanna get all sexy with no lead up? No work? No game?

What is it that our characters fear about intimacy?

What is something that pushes their emotional and physical boundaries?

What have they never done before?

What is dangerous to them?

Where would they never engage in physical intimacy?

The more we know our characters, the more we can create moments and scenarios that begin to build the pressure of L.U.S.T. until a single spark makes all their clothes explode.

Done properly, we can build enough ridiculous tension and prolong the anticipation so that the first full sex scene can happen halfway or even two-thirds of the way through the book, and the reader won’t even notice because they’ve been hot and bothered since chapter two’s encounter in the coatroom of the restaurant.

Where to Have Sex¬†(Besides the, uh, obvious)…

A good editor will come down on us like a ton of bricks if we get too mechanical or bogged down with unimportant details. Every scene has its own particular balance of dialogue, inner thoughts, action, and description.

The exact proportions of each element may differ for different POVs, genres, scenes, level of heat, etc., but they are always present.

Why then, for the love of all things Taylor and Seraphina, do we forget this rule when it comes to sex scenes? Why do we subject the reader to the (sometimes literal) blow-by-blow description of what Seraphina is doing to Taylor and vice versa?

It’s painfully easy to let a sex scene slip into “Insert Tab A into Slot B” territory when all we focus on is what body parts are touching other body parts.

SUPERIOR SEX SCENES HARNESS THE RULES OF DESCRIPTION

There’s so much we can put into a sex scene to enhance it, make it vibrant, touch a chord of reality with the reader, and create a truly unique moment for our characters. Let’s just look at the mechanics.

We wouldn’t describe every single action a character takes to prepare a lasagna. Why are we doing this with a sex scene? If we truly know our characters and what they long for, fear, desire, and dislike, then we can draw the reader’s attention to what is daring, unusual, and dangerous for the character.

For example, I could describe in agonizing minutiae how Taylor undresses Seraphina. It would probably end up sounding like every other undressing scene in every other book.

Taylor hurriedly undid the buttons on her blouse, getting impatient and yanking it over her head. She gasped as he hooked his hands into the waist of her skirt and deftly turned it around so he could unzip it and slide it down her legs. (I can’t go much further here without getting both more mechanical and explicit and in trouble with Kristen, but you get the idea.)

Eh. Meh. Blah.

But…what if we spun the moment this way?

As Taylor tore at her clothes, Seraphina wondered at herself, at her impulsive decision to leave work in the middle of the afternoon to meet him at the hotel. The constant patter of rain against the windows reminded her of the stream of emails she was willfully ignoring.

She looked at the man responsible for her temptation, the agent of her transformation. Every piece of clothing he ripped away peeled away the shell of the cold corporate woman, and every hot breath against her skin baptized her in the fire of a primal desire.

In your mind’s eye, you saw Taylor taking off her clothing. I didn’t have to beat you over the head with the buttons or smack you with her skirt. I didn’t give you guidance on how to take off Seraphina’s clothes. I put you¬†in her head, and¬†I bet that for a split-second, you heard the patter of rain against a window ;).

Getting Some…

All of this is just the tip…of the iceberg. (YES! I HAD TO!)

I talk about this and so much more in my class, “How to Dominate Your Sex Scenes–No Safe Words Here!”

The thing is, this Friday is the last time I’m offering it this year (and probably well into next year). So, if you want to have an awesome time and learn a ton about writing SUPERIOR SEX SCENES, sign up for¬†MY CLASS THIS FRIDAY, OCTOBER 20, 2017, FROM 7:00-9:00 P.M. EST!

CLASS DESCRIPTION

Instructor: Cait Reynolds
Price: $45.00  USD Standard
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Friday, October 20, 2017. 7:00-9:00 p.m. EST

Boy meets Girl. Boy and Girl have sex several times, though the scenes all kind of blur together at some point. Girl (or Boy) ends up in trouble at the hands of criminals/jealous ex/drug lord and needs Boy’s (or Girl’s) rescue.

Boy and Girl have celebratory sex and live happily ever after.

Sound all too familiar?

Maybe like the tens of thousands of schlocky “Schlongs of Shanghai” titles all competing for KENP (Kindle pages read) and the top 1,000 ranking on Amazon?

But, there’s no denying that erotica is one of the hottest genres around and has a very real place in literature. Yet, to write a work of erotica that provides both the escapist fantasy that readers want while creating a fast-paced story with memorable characters and riveting, unique sex scenes is probably harder than trying to find that billionaire cowboy with six-pack abs who’s into m√©nage-a-trois.

This class will not be for the faint of heart or those who blush easily!

We are going to tackle the nitty gritty of the erotica genre as a whole and sex scenes in particular…and use ALL the words in our discussions!

Topics covered include:

  • When to introduce sex into the story and the sex v. plot ratio ‚Äď
  • Creating chemistry in one easy step
  • Decisions, decisions: Purple prose v. crass cusswords ‚Äď
  • How to avoid the cookie-cutter Alpha male (and corresponding Mary Sue female) ‚Äď
  • Keeping the sex fresh, interesting, and unique in every single scene – How realistic to make sex in any given scene v. how much detail is TMI, even for your readers?
  • What really makes a scene sexy?
  • What makes a story sexy?
  • BONUS: How to talk about erotica as literature and fun facts about the history of erotica!

A recording of this class is also included with purchase. REGISTER NOW!

GOLD PACKAGE

Get one hour of phone consultation with Cait and workshopping of a sex scene of up to 2,500 words! This is personalized instruction and guidance on making your writing sizzle!

About the Instructor:

Cait Reynolds is a USA Today Bestselling Author and lives in Boston area with her husband and four-legged fur child. She discovered her passion for writing early and has bugged her family and friends with it ever since. When she isn’t cooking, running, rock climbing, or enjoying the rooftop deck that brings her closer to the stars, she writes.