Thanks, Carol. And thanks for taking the time to offer such awesome thoughful comments. 😀

For instance, the killer in the book/movie lives alone in a big house, with a perfectly manicured lawn, in a neighborhood where lot’s of children live and play. His home is neat and tidy, not a speck of dust or dirt anywhere, not a thing out of place. He’s organized and anal, and you can tell this by his home and his yard and by the doll houses he builds.

Often, he goes down to his damp, dingy, cellar and sits on a kitchen chair for hours and hours, just sitting and staring, the only sound a ticking clock. Tick toc, tic toc…

The dark, damp basement shows the killer’s state of mind. The ticking clock is like his thoughts churning as he plots his next murder. This and the fact that a somewhat strange, compulsive bachelor living in a neighborhood filled with children tells the reader that something is just not right (although a neat and clean bachelor living in a “family” neighborhood doesn’t necessarily qualify a man as a serial killer, however, it does this man).

Just wanted to say I’m a new follower to your blog and I’ve throughly enjoyed my visits. Thank you for sharing your expertise with us!

~Carol

Lol, ah… I see.(I think?) Yes, I think these tanks could roll over just about anything. However, if they were ‘on a mission’ and getting from ‘ A to B’, for example, but the fact that they had to pass through little urban terraced streets to get to their intended destination, how would you use dimension without getting too caught up in inconsequential detail? Would it be useful to say something along the lines of: ‘Chieftain tanks, incongruous among the rows of little terraced houses. The crowds, scattering in all directions; people running in blind panic, lest they get caught in the path of these monstrous vehicles.They were so huge, that they filled almost entirely, the width of the street. Six inches either way, would have brought bricks and mortar tumbling down…’ Would that be better?

I learn through examples, especially since I am a kinesthetic learner. I am really happy they helped, :D.

Yes. The one thing I might recommend is more juxtaposition in the first scene between the marks of the riot and what was the “normal world.” You have terraced houses, but what else? Can the tanks roll over a garden fence or a park bench. One symbolizes a normal piece and the other is rolling over it, blowing it up, etc. A football crushed by a tank. See what I mean? This will affect the reader on a visceral level. But yes, from what I can tell this looks excellent.