I speak from experience on all ends. I was once that touchy writer who couldn’t take the heat. I wanted to hear all my words were gold. I didn’t want real feedback, and, as a consequence, I didn’t grow. I was new, insecure and more interested in ego-boosting than growing.

I’ve also been the narcissist who thought I knew everything, so how could I learn? Sure, I point out other examples, because I ran critique groups for SEVEN years. I’ve taught at countless conferences and met all these archetypes. They DO exist. And if someone is going to be explosive and touchy in critique? How will they respond to a one-star ticked off review from an angry reader?

There is a lot that goes into this business other than “art.” And I don’t “cause” upset. Everyone has a choice. Get defensive, cry and go home, or suck it up, learn to dismiss what isn’t salient and press onward.

This business isn’t easy, and some people just aren’t cut out for it (even if they possess talent). There are elements beyond art and talent that contribute heavily to success.

And maybe when they stumble on this blog it hurts. But maybe it also shows them how to toughen up and rise to the challenge. Wimps who give other people control over their feelings won’t last long, and they won’t ENJOY their career. They will be too tied to other people’s opinions.

LOL. I have stalked many great writers (and still do) to gain this wisdom, :D.

Can I just say I love you? I don’t mean that in a stalker-ish, “single white female” sort of way so don’t freak out. But what you’re doing here is amazing. I love your blog. The helpful advice you provide for aspiring authors like me is priceless. I recently joined RWA and joining the local chapter was next on my list. I will join the WANATribe as well. Thank you so much!

Great to meet you, Melissa. I might recommend joining our social site WANATribe. There are a ton of writing groups and that would be a great place to start that is free. Cannot recommend conferences or a local chapter of RWA enough. RWA is amazing and filled with generous professionals. Even if you don’t write romance, I still recommend joining.