Your “gut” is probably more fine-tuned than mine. 🙂 I still have trouble filtering out the real creeps and the bumbling tweeters/facebookers. Thanks for responding 🙂

Your point makes sense, definitely. I think we just differ in our approach to twitter — I have my private Facebook page that is (somewhat) separate from my writing life, where I post pictures of my kids and personal info. I guard that carefully and only ‘friend’ people I actually know — and not all of them!

Then I have more ‘public’ spaces like my author page and Twitter, where I’m more breezy because I am trying to widen my circle. To me, following is sort of like smiling at a stranger at a big party or convention — just a polite acknowledgment that person exists. Sometimes this leads to me re-tweeting something interesting they’ve posted, or starting a conversation that creates a deeper relationship. Other times, not.

In any case, if they do the creepy stuff Kristen mentions above, I tend to unfollow, just like I would someone who tried to sell me amway at a party. I also unfollow people whose tweets are offensive or obnoxious, or the same tweet every time I see them pop up. But the ‘follow’ itself doesn’t bother me — and my follow is theirs to lose.

Btw, I have no idea what the inner workings are behind twitter’s suggestions for people to follow, but I’m sure it’s based at least partly on similar keywords to self and other users you’ve followed recently, which is why we all tend to get authors — established and not — in our suggestions list.

PS – Sorry it took me a couple of days to respond – I was (gasp!) blissfully offline! 🙂

Maybe people fear being genuine, and so they blurt their “elevator pitch” instead of starting a conversation. Our Tweets and Facebook messages ought to offer our thoughts about where we are at that moment – what we are feeling. We could offer an interesting thought that isn’t about our book, and add our website link to the post.

If someone likes what you have to say they’re likely not only to comment, but also click on that link to explore on their own. Mystery often intrigues people to the point of action.

I feel that really good marketing leaves those who see it wanting more. I’ll always try to NOT give someone enough information to make the “buying decision.” Instead, I want to plant questions that they can only get answered by reaching out to me. People like to buy, not be sold.

Thanks again for your thoughts.

I think it’s a “gut” thing. If it’s someone I’ve chatted with on FB or Twitter or whose commented on my blog? No problem. But just a random, “Hey I liked your page now like mine” out of the ether? A bit creepy to me. But all of this IS subjective.

“If you like someone, great. “Like” their fan page. DO NOT “like” someone’s page as a ploy to get them to return the favor”

AND

“Yes, social media is social, and people will often respond in kind out of relationship reciprocity, but we need to initiate the reciprocity. We don’t need an e-mail saying things like, Hey, I liked your author page. Why didn’t you like me back?”

For the record, I DO NOT “like” someone’s page and EVER ask them to like mine back (that seems poor form) but I’m not THAT offended when people want me to look at their blog or their FB page, if I like it, I like it, or comment on a blog post that I can relate to.

Also, how can we build a supportive community if we don’t make an effort for each other? If someone has gone out of their way to visit my page, I feel it rude not to at least LOOK at theirs. Usually there is something I can find to connect with.

Maybe the askers are needy? Maybe they haven’t read (YOUR–Kristen’s) blog? Maybe they have something wonderful to share and haven’t figured out how to do it yet. Or how about being kind even when someone is being rude to you, leading by example? We need room for understanding.

With tactic #5 it almost seems like you are saying we should not EXPECT reciprocation from other? (maybe my brain went off on a tangent and that’s not what you’re saying at all) For example if you invite me for dinner, I am going to make every effort to invite you back or at least bring something when I come over, that’s good manners. You can expect that from me.

This concept of “lack of expectation” is confusing me.

Do you think that there is no room for expecting real world social manners in cyberland?

An old college friend connected with me on FB and then started a conversation, “How’s it going? It’s been so long!” I replied and never heard another personal peep from her. It was a great conversation–not! *rolls eyes*