Comments on: NaNoWriMo, Gone Girl & Confessions of a Recovering Jerk

By: ercatalano10

ercatalano10 — Sun, 16 Nov 2014 15:45:33 +0000

Wonderful post. Very insightful. I’m late to this party since this email was buried way down in my inbox. I came to the book late and so I knew most of its twists. So it was a fun exercise in looking at it as a writer. How does she build suspense? How does she make you keep turning the pages? I thought it was terrific. And I like books w/ unlikable characters that you still root for. Such fun! I’ve struggled with that in my own writing because, like life, I want people to like me and, as an extension, my characters. And from critiques I’ve found that’s a big problem I have because it makes me unwilling (unable) to throw enough conflict their way. Working on it, just not sure if it should be “on the page” or in my life. Probably both!

By: Don’t forget to Vote. | Nina Kaytel

Don’t forget to Vote. | Nina Kaytel — Tue, 04 Nov 2014 14:17:57 +0000

[…] NaNoWriMo, Gone Girl & Confessions of a Recovering Jerk […]

By: Author Kristen Lamb

Author Kristen Lamb — Mon, 03 Nov 2014 18:57:20 +0000

In reply to Cecilia Marie Pulliam. Well, the difference in an artist and a hack is the hack thinks everything they write is BRILLIANT, LOL. So a good amount of self-loathing shows me you are probably more talented than you give yourself credit for. Keep humble, but also know someone will ALWAYS be better than you. Better than me. It's all subjective anyway. Just love why you do and your readers will find you ((HUGS)).

By: Cecilia Marie Pulliam

Cecilia Marie Pulliam — Mon, 03 Nov 2014 13:16:34 +0000

I have always strived for perfectionism because I never felt I was as good as others. Other people were (and to some degree) still are better than me at everything, especially writing. When someone tells me something is good, I think they are just being kind, afraid to hurt my feelings. When I tell someone their stuff is good, I really mean it. Everyone is better than me. That’s just as wrong as pretending I am better than anyone else, both equally dysfunctional. It takes work to balance our thoughts and behaviors to a healthy attitude that everyone has weak as well as strong points. Great, thought provoking post, Kristen, and very timely for me.

By: A Chronicle of NaNoWriMo 2014: Days 15-20

A Chronicle of NaNoWriMo 2014: Days 15-20 — Sun, 02 Nov 2014 01:53:25 +0000

[…] heart, I’m a reforming jerk perfectionist. As a result of this, aside from being super-competitive with myself, I also really, really like […]

By: Friday Snippet #3 | Northern Chapters

Friday Snippet #3 | Northern Chapters — Fri, 31 Oct 2014 14:11:40 +0000

[…] On Kristen Lamb’s Blog: NaNoWriMo, Gone Girls & Confessions of a Recovering Jerk […]

By: melinkee

melinkee — Fri, 31 Oct 2014 00:19:23 +0000

Loved this post. Sounds like you have been going through a giant personal growing spurt. We truly are a never-ending work in progress. Everyone is! Great job!

By: Michelle Morrison

Michelle Morrison — Wed, 29 Oct 2014 21:39:06 +0000

Great post. The truth is we all have at least the capacity to behave like jerks whether we choose to act on that or not…Some people just tend to choose to be jerks more than others. 😀 It’s whether we’re learning from our mistakes and making an effort to improve that really matters. I agree perfection is impossible to achieve and it’s boring besides. 🙂 The most interesting and memorable characters in books or in TV shows or movies are flawed.

By: smtraphagen

smtraphagen — Wed, 29 Oct 2014 14:19:53 +0000

@ Jessica Barrett and Kristen: This is interesting on so many levels. Kristen you and I have spoken before. I have been one of those people that is so willing to get advice and criticism so that I can become a better writer, a stronger writer. Like you Jessica, I have dreamed of being a writer; I have been doing it in the background since I was a child. Every chance I got I wrote– poetry, short stories, it didn’t matter as long as I was writing. But somewhere along the way I decided I needed steady income, a salary– I needed to show the world (and my family) that I could do it on my own, that I was smart. My demon…..needing to prove I can do something, that I’m smart. Because somewhere along the way people started telling me I wasn’t (or showing me I wasn’t). So I pursued not only my B.S. degree (only minoring in English), but I went on to get a Master’s degree in Social Work– of all things. My family, my husband, my friends were so proud. Then I got the “responsible” job. That’s when things started going sideways. I struggled, not with helping people or diagnosing people, but with colleagues, bosses and just getting up every day to do that job. I put everything I had into it (including not writing to focus on my day job, which was a total emotional and creative drain). My first experience was being told I couldn’t go down to part time so I could finish an internship (after 4 years of dedicated service to this org.) So I left. Then my next FT job, which lasted 2 years, landed me in the cross hairs of a bullying director, a sabotaging boss, and colleagues telling me I wasn’t doing enough, that I wasn’t really helping anyone. I got laid off. This is when I went back to writing, dove in head first, all the while continuing to find some elusive FT job, this time in the field of writing. I took a part time job in politics as a writer/researcher, which went ok but I didn’t give the politician what he wanted, so I never got an offer for FT work. I started freelancing on the side, and getting published, but it was the “big publishing I have been striving for. Ok keep looking. Then I got a FT job in a marketing department as a writer. 1.5 years is how long that lasted. The chief boss was passive aggressive and always placated you but was never sincere. The directors- always right, so I was always wrong. Their way of writing (mind you this was a corporate job where writing was not their strong suit- hence hiring a writer), was correct. I could say anything. Eventually I was doing things that were not writing related. Hmmm, ok keep going, it’s good salary, I can buy by ridiculously expensive clothes and help my husband pay our mortgage. But I was completely unhappy. Then lo’ and behold, I got laid off…..again. Almost every FT job I found my self in, I was either bullied (by bosses), or never good enough. Universe screaming at me– I think so. Now I find myself working from home, freelancing a lot (and comparing myself to other freelancers who are already successful financially- which I know, bad shannon, don’t do that), working as an associate publisher for a local magazine (which is an utterly amazing job, but pay contractually and very little) and desperately trying to get an agent for my first completed novel, which took me three years to write. I am almost 40, we don’t have kids yet, and my poor husband has taken on most of the financial commitments so I can pursue some type of writing career. Let’s see….feel like a failure (but won’t give up the fight), can’t figure out what writing path I’m on (yet I’m still going), worry that I will never make this happen (but literally can’t breathe without writing in my life), and feel so far behind where I hoped to be by 38. And yes, I feel like I have to cook, clean, do laundry and yard work while balancing writing so that I feel like I’m contributing something somewhere.
So reading your comments/post is in the category of perfect timing. I think this is my “mid-life writing crisis”, yet my soul won’t let me give up. Ok stepping down from my soapbox now. Thanks for posting this:)

By: mreedmccall

mreedmccall — Tue, 28 Oct 2014 22:38:57 +0000

In reply to nebbo.

I hear you. I wanted to like Penny Dreadful – the idea sounded good, and I really like Josh Hartnett as an actor – but I felt the same. I really, really like many dark, tormented, and twisted characters…heck, my villains are more fun for me to write, usually, than my protagonists. But I have to care about them in some way. They have to have some redeeming quality or some hint of a soft underbelly, or I just can’t be bothered.