I had a REALLY hard time finishing the first book, but eventually I did and I’m currently about half way done with the 3rd one in the trilogy. I feel torn, because the book actually contained a lot of charm, romance and vanilla sex, and the abusive stuff which I did have a hard time with was a lot less frequent than I first expected. The incidence of S&M (or, anything I would consider cruel and wrong for any man to do to any woman) became less and less frequent throughout the 2nd and 3rd book.

I found a conundrum, a situation of cognitive dissonance in myself, because I found myself to be VERY similar (personality wise) to the character “Christian Grey”, minus the sadomasochism and threatening to spank a woman in public (or at all, aside from in a playfully soft, consensual way). When you take away the abusive components, I’d say that my personality and world view and so on is about 75-80% like Christian Grey’s… for better or worse, I just realized it and have to accept it. No, I don’t want to hurt or demean a woman, but I have many of the same childhood problems, fears, insecurities, jealousy and protectiveness as Christian Grey, when in reference to my romantic relationships, but perhaps to a little less extreme extent than him. I’m not overprotective, I wouldn’t stalk my GF/wife or interrogate her every move, but I would be concerned for her safety, especially if she was going to be around other men in my absence and I didn’t know the character of those men or where they’d be. I am slightly bossy and controlling, but that’s probably because I’m an Aries and I’ve suffered a lot over the years from family or my ex wife doing a LOT of things wrong that wrecked our health and finances. I am insistent upon marrying a woman who I can tell is definitely smart and responsible now because of those past experiences, and with such a woman, I’ll probably have very little controlling nature or bossiness.

Anyway, I decided to figure out what elements from 50 Shades were considered good/attractive to most women and which were universally accepted as bad, and I decided to include the good elements in a book.

I’m writing two different books, each under a different pen name. The first is a fiction-nonfiction hybrid blend, and is already complete but being revised after my last re-read found some errors or things I accidentally left unsaid, so I’m writing a second edition. The first story is for adults or older teens, but only because it discusses serious topics and a little bit of sexual discussion, but it’s NOT an erotica at all. It’s a story that becomes progressively more tragic throughout Part 1 and then turns into an incredible comeback story, which includes a wonderful romantic story in Part 2.

The second book I’m writing is complete fiction, and it’s a Christian-based adult romance novel… pretty unique and controversial I think. Adult as in, it is DEFINITELY part erotica, but it’s a proper, traditional romance story that follows the rules of Christian sexual moral values (ie no premarital sex). When it is done, it will be intended as a realistic story for adult Christian readers which covers from first meeting all the way through a good chunk of the main characters’ marriage. It will have realistic depictions of what a good Christian marriage can be like when the husband and wife are ACTUALLY willing to stretch their comfort zones and kink factor as far as is Biblically acceptable. It’s to be a mostly-classy “instructional guide” for Christians to use to learn lots of kinky tricks to use in their own marriage WITHOUT having to consult traditional secular content that contains pornographic stuff, since that is forbidden in Christianity. The whole point behind this is that many Christians in the world today have unsatisfying sex lives because they choose not to associate with ANY explicit sexual content for religious reasons, but that ends up making many Christians become unaware of a lot of the wild and fun and highly enjoyable sexual techniques that exist, and their upbringing often times makes them timid and afraid to step even a little bit outside of “Vanilla”. Most Christian books about sex are talking about emotional connection and respect within marriage but most don’t teach advanced nitty gritty techniques. Thus, I wanted to write a book that is a classy story that represents a realistic Christian dating process but includes a wide array of Biblically-condoned sexual activities within their marriage, with full, non-sugar-coated descriptions of them all, even more explicit and bold than the way the sex is often described in 50 Shades.

This book, while it includes some really freaky stuff, does so showing what a loving, mutually submissive relationship looks like, and all of the “rough” stuff is still considered playful, loving and respectful… it may be intense but none of it is abusive like some of the things in 50 Shades. No spanking, no actual punishments, no using certain sexual activities as threats. None of that awful stuff. I believe that my second book is in many ways like a Christian spin-off of 50 Shades that has many of the positive attractive elements of the 50 Shades story WITHOUT any of the abusive stuff.

50 Shades was the first thing I ever read in the romance/erotica genre. What a way to step into it. Now I need to read some romance novels that are actually considered good and not criticized or considered detestable and see how they compare. Maybe they can help me craft my second book in a more professionally romantic way than it already is.

The girl in DD had an amazing bf her age whom the older guy thought was a wimp, whatever. Everytime a girl gets happily involved with a guy who is very considerate and respectful, she becomes an easier target for someone who is dominant and powerful and thinks her husband or boyfriend is weak and not masculine enough.

There are some cases of powerful men luring happily married women away from their kind, considerate, respectful husbands since they think their husbands are not handsome and rich enough that they end up abusing these women and their children and thus framing their husbands for it when it isn’t their fault. It shows jaw dangerous female infidelity is in terms of the other man being dangerous. Look at Oscar-winning British actor Colin Firth’s wife having an affair with a much powerful man who stalked her and then a recent Fox news story about a widow whose beloved husband was murdered by a man who stalked her even though she kept on avoiding this other man and was focused more on her family. Such men like to prove that they are better and manlier than a woman’s husband, boyfriend, or fiance.

Amen and AMEN. Dig the Fifty Shades of Gross. LOLOLOLOLOL

I know. I can’t believe we are even talking about this. Sigh.

OMG, David, you are SO on the money. Most of the women I’ve known that have stayed in emotionally or physically abusive relationships believe that old myth, that the love of a good woman can mend an emotionally cold, broken man. That is NOT what generally happens in real life. It’s time to stop teaching girls this sick, sick garbage. You cannot fix someone like this. He needs to seek help and fix himself; you need to stay the hell away from men who are still broken.