And that is why I love most cridics.
Some can be way of the mark and mix up my pov narrative with another kind, though that doesn’t happen that often.

It’s amazing the difference a couple of years can make on your writing skills. 🙂

I love when a cridic teaches something new. 🙂

Or, points out a logic flaw.,

Boy the moible reply text box has very little width and lots of hight.

o.O

http://www.4GP.ME/ba3s/1475696960827.jpg

Because it IS. It is why we need brutal critique partners and merciless editors, LOL. Even me.

Thank you for the critique! I thought I wasn’t doing that. >_<;; Why is it so hard to see this stuff in our own works?

Sorry I took so long to reply I gave most of my chapters heavy revisions. I tend to forhet about everything else for a while.

Is this better?

Something had clamped onto her. How did it find her again? Get off! The jumbled dream fell away and Merryn’s eyes snapped open. Nothing was there, but it had felt like someone one had their rough hands on the sides of her face.  

What was it morning or evening? She took out a sun shard from her pouch, and held it in her palm. The shard turned an orange yellow. Morning. So many leagues left to travel. Why couldn’t they have let her use a portal after? She didn’t care about authenticity, meh.

She stretched, and stood. A glint behind the coneafer tree. Trees didn’t glint. She supressed an urge to shout.

Daggers in hand as she padded over towards it. Over there in the thorn bush.

The something was tangled in the bush and thrashed about. With smooth red fur, or skin? There was no head to be seen.

She went over and poked it with a jiggling dagger handle.

The creature straightened and became taller. An appendage ripped free of the bush. A hand.

Huh?

Thank you for helping with this. ?(^?^)?

Too much overwriting. Stop holding our brains. If she shoves him and he lands somewhere, we “get” it is “off of her.”

Something clamped onto her. How did it find her again? No! Get off! The jumbled dream fell away. Parcival’s rough hands on the sides of her face. Kissing her like he wanted to devour her.

Growling, she shoved him backwards on his butt, hard. She hissed at him. “What do you think you are doing? Ugh! And I thought you were one of the nice ones!”

@Kristen L.

Ah, sorry about that here’s a snippet:

Something had clamped onto her! How did it find her again? No! Get off! The jumbled dream fell away and Merryn’s eyes snapped open. Parcival had his rough hands on the sides of her face, and kissed her like a he wanted to devour her. So much for him being one of the nice ones. Growling, she shoved him off of her onto the ground.

Parcival toppled backwards. His eyes widened as he fell on his butt, hard.

She hissed at him each word forced, “What do you think you are doing?”

I’d have to read it in context to tell you but method act it.