Thanks for the hugs, Kristen. It isn’t every day that I get hugged by an attractive blonde wearing a Viking helmet.

I get your point about generational differences in acceptance, and indeed in the treatment of those with issues (to use that awful current term). However, I reckon we’ve returned to our old friend, semantics.

The examples in your reply, and in your response to Terri, would seem more embarrassing than shameful… certainly to this British English speaker. To me, the words are on different shelves behind the bar, with ‘shame’ being a harsh grappa while ‘embarrassment’ is merely the dry white wine (not quite down to the Prosecco or even the alcopop of mere ‘discomfort’.)
Sadly, like the drinks in a cheap bar, our language is being watered down so that the stronger words get used at all levels, losing the subtlety of meanings along the scale.

As for ‘difference’; surely difference can be channelled into a strength. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing at all. Wasn’t Einstein different from his peers?… Alan Turing?… Degas?
Differences, even weaknesses in some areas, perceived or otherwise, act to concentrate the strengths.

I deliberately made the eponymous protagonist in my crime novels somebody different. She’s someone who wouldn’t normally be on the side of law and order, a successful sex worker, though strictly, Lena isn’t the protagonist. She’s more the common factor that brings together the different characters on the side wearing the white hats (though sometimes they cross the line). That’s why the series is called ‘Lena’s Friends’… From policemen, through to a gay atheist vicar, taking in bikers, hookers, wealthy businessmen, and even cattle breeders along the way, Lena’s varied friends form a kind of gestalt protagonist. Like Enid Blyton’s ‘Famous Five’ or ‘Secret Seven’, but very much for grown ups.

Chris had some great input on that. Shame might not be in the bookstore though. Obviously kids are jerks, so you can have that. But I know from experience with myself and family that a lot of the additional measures taken to help the challenged can make them outcasts. For instance, my brother was legally blind, so he needed everything in copies in large print. He HAD to be in the first row. He missed detail, tended to get too close to people invading (unintentionally) personal space.

My mother went back to college not too many years ago, but being asked to read aloud? Or for her, she was given additional time to take the tests because her dyslexia slowed down her reading pace. So a dyslexic kid might be given more time to take a test or a special filter over a computer screen…all things that mark him/her as “other” (which no kid or even adult really wants to be). My advice would be to use your hive mind on social media. Maybe ask people in your following who have struggled with dyslexia. People are very helpful and I think it’s a noble undertaking for your character.

Shame is a funny thing and can even be anything that makes us “different.” Red hair. Too many freckles. Big nose. I’ve hidden my legs since 1991. Even though I was a ballet dancer and in amazing shape…I have HUGE thighs. get called Thunder Thighs enough and yeah…shame. Shame often seems silly to the outsider, but to the person enduring it? It’s a pretty big deal especially when ur young.

Chris the age of the character and environment could make a dyslexic feel shame. I know my mother is terribly dyslexic but she grew up in a time when they didn’t know what it was, so you were stupid or lazy. She still feels shame over it. Someone reared by a person of that generation could create shame in a younger person (projection). Say a character raised by a grandmother. All kinds of ways to go about it but it is and can be real and I think that is a great shame to overcome. I think a lot of people with that disability could relate.

Sure we are more accepting of differences these days publicly but people can be jerks. I am severely ADHD and it took a long time to get over what teachers did to me. I spent many a school year sitting in the hall.

So anything can work, we just need to put thought into the HOW it will work. But just to let you know, THANK YOU for so many wonderful and thoughtful comments. Really enjoying the discussion. ((HUGS))

Don’t forget, Terri, that many dyslexics can read reasonably well, but can’t replicate those words on paper themselves because they just don’t see them correctly in their mind to write down (if that makes sense). A dyslexic friend of mine has no problem reading a history book, or a tech manual, or even one of my novels (despite having a ready made excuse not to.) and fully understanding it. Yet that same person has trouble writing a greeting in a birthday card, posting a simple Facebook post, or even writing a cheque to pay a bill (plastic cards are his best friends).

Maybe your dyslexic character could be more like him… though getting back to the subject of ‘shame’, I’m not sure that dyslexia should be thought of that way. It isn’t in any way shameful, and none of the dyslexics I’ve ever met feel any shame about their condition (do we suggest that being black, female, or gay is shameful nowadays?… Of course not. Maybe this is just another example of the differences in the meaning of shame that I discussed earlier in this comments section. I won’t repeat it here, but if you’re interested, take a look.

So yup, you need to know that shame.

Terri