Comments on: Dismemberment–Taking Characters Apart in All the Wrong Ways

By: Cindy

Cindy — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 12:33:16 +0000

I love the tips here – the focus on body parts and their role in the action is especially helpful.

I’m writing a story right now where the heroine is a young businesswoman by day, but does some private detective work evenings. There’s a scene towards the end where she gets captured and tied up, and she is trying to reach her cell phone (an IPhone) with her foot as it’s ringing:

“Her breath slowed as she stretched her leg, her toes flexing, then pointing towards the edge of the pink case. Her foot started to cramp, straining with the effort, as she desperately tried to bridge the small gap separating her toes from phone. It was inches away from the tip of her big toe, mocking her, yet it might as well have been a mile.”

By: Joy Pixley

Joy Pixley — Fri, 17 Nov 2017 15:49:45 +0000

Great points! I tend toward the “wandering eye” problem myself, but so far I seem to have caught all the examples and fixed them before showing those chapters to anyone else. The one instance where I think the dismembered body parts worked that you didn’t mention is when you’re trying to portray dissociation between the character’s thoughts and actions. For instance, the woman is telling herself to stay angry at her abusive boyfriend, but then she watches her hand automatically reach out and take his when he asks for it. Or the little boy thinks about how bad it would be to destroy his brother’s sand castle but then he observes his foot stomping on it, without consciously deciding to do it. Or would you say these are examples of dismemberment that we should purge?

By: Top Picks Thursday! For Writers & Readers 11-16-2017 | The Author Chronicles

Thu, 16 Nov 2017 18:01:37 +0000

[…] it is the little things that can make or break your story. Cait Reynolds looks at when body parts take on a life of their own, Gordon Long stresses that word order creates meaning, Melissa Donovan examines allusion in poetry, […]

By: Janice C. Johnson

Janice C. Johnson — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 14:58:32 +0000

In reply to Kristen Lamb. As I suspected; thanks!

By: Kristen Lamb

Kristen Lamb — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 13:54:21 +0000

In reply to Janice C. Johnson. Those are idiomatic expressions and not what we're referring to. "His eye flew up to the heavens." "Her eyes roved across the room." They are pretty obvious once you learn to see them :) .

By: Janice C. Johnson

Janice C. Johnson — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 04:47:35 +0000

In reply to Deborah Makarios.

I call it a common figurative expression, along with “He couldn’t take his eyes off (or ‘off of’) her” and “Their eyes met.”
Hoping for enlightenment!

By: Jessie Andersen

Jessie Andersen — Tue, 14 Nov 2017 21:53:09 +0000

Excellent post. I now want to go back and edit for dismemberment. In the next draft, it will be at the top of my list!

By: Jan

Jan — Tue, 14 Nov 2017 18:44:06 +0000

Great blog! I never really thought that much about body parts. I have no doubt I’ve violated this rule 🙂 Thanks for sharing. I love your posts. Easy to read and entertaining 🙂

By: Breaking Big: How to Impress Big Five Publishers - Kristen Lamb

Breaking Big: How to Impress Big Five Publishers - Kristen Lamb — Tue, 14 Nov 2017 17:56:16 +0000

[…] Dismemberment–Taking Characters Apart in All the Wrong Ways […]

By: Deborah Makarios

Deborah Makarios — Sun, 12 Nov 2017 22:29:00 +0000

So what’s your position on “He caught her eye?” Disgusting and weird, or a figurative expression common in English?