Since you were the first (and only) one brave enough to do this email me at kristen at wana intl dot com. I have a prize for you 😉 .

BRAVO! *clapping* I love all the characters but grandma is FANTASTIC!

My son-in-law finally bought a new car. Huh. He’s usually tighter than the bark on a tree. Nice of them to invite me for a ride. I was ready to kill to get out of this senior complex. I pinned up y hair and got out my favorite jacket, the black leather one with the red lips and tongue painted on the back. In the hallway, I pinched Ed’s ass as I passed him. He told me if I did that again, he’d strangle me with the hose from his oxygen tank. Promises, promises.

Jenny and Dave were there in the carport with the shiny silver thing. I sat in the back with Erwin, who I just don’t know about. He’s edgy like me—good boy. But maybe a little too edgy. I had to admit the seats were comfy. I just don’t understand why someone would want to drive a car without a stick shift and a clutch. But I knew we were screwed when I didn’t see a steering wheel. Oh shit, I thought to myself—It’s one of those cars. In the front seat, Dave and Jenny muttered about GPS or something, then pushed at some lights on the dashboard. We started moving. Nothing impressive, though. My grandmother drove faster than this timid little crap car.

Only a few blocks away, we came to a dead halt, right here in the road. God only knows why. I think I’ll get out. That bus stop bench looks like a good place for a cigarette.

#

I prayed about this last night. God, I said, let us have one good family bonding experience. That was all I asked. Getting mom off her butt and out of her apartment was already answered prayer. Now if she and Dave would just stay civil. But I could hear her behind me, cursing Dave under her breath and digging a cigarette out of her crumpled pack of Marlboro’s.

My husband did a lot of research on these new cars. We saved for months. The car was great—No problems until today. The one day we try to have a nice family outing. This was the one day some kid decided to put a life-size photo of a red traffic light by the side of the road. So much for prayer. I bet the brat that did this was watching us from that apartment building over there, laughing his head off. Some parents just don’t watch their kids.

Speaking of kids, at least Erwin is occupied with his cell phone. Another answered prayer.

“Dave, maybe we should just get out of the car and pull down that sign.”

#

I glanced at Jenny, then back at the configurable target identification submenu. “No, it’s better if we tell the car that’s not an actual red light. It’s machine learning, honey. That’s how it’s supposed to work.”

I tapped the back button. Why didn’t this make sense? The menus read like broken English. They did a crappy job translating. How come Consumer Reports didn’t mention that? They gave this car 98 out of 100. I reached for the manual in the glove compartment.

I heard Dorla open her door and get out. What a relief. I didn’t want to listen to her cussing me out under her breath. Oh, crap. It looks like she’s having a cigarette. When she gets back in, I can kiss my new car smell good-bye.

#

A text popped up on my cell. “Dood! It totally worked! Kewl!”

I glanced out the window at his apartment building and could just barely see him in his bedroom window. “Marcus, you totally RAWK! Thx, man, IOU.”

Dad was flipping through the manual. I rolled my eyes. What a loser. It looked like he was going to flag the sign as a bogus red light again. I swiped my screen over to the car app, and drilled into the object database. Marcus’s fake red light sign appeared on my cell in real time as dad flagged it from the dashboard. I tapped the delete button. I heard him hit the dashboard with his fist and cuss. I smiled to myself.

Back to WoW. Screwing with dad was already boring.