Thank you for giving me so very much to think about.

If someone asks me to do something for them be it spend time together or read their pages, if I don’t want to put them above something else I give them a time period when I can. If that works for them, great. If not, I’m not your gal.

However, for those people who love to share how busy they are complete with heavy sigh and hands to the temple, I tell them how busy I am back. I can keep up with the best of them. Yes, juvenile, I realize, but sometimes I revert to my seventh grade self. Ha ha.

And the thing is, ‘not being a priority’ isn’t always personal. We had a stretch here where I was taking care of a dying grandmother, an aging mother, running a business, homeschooling Spawn, etc. etc. Trust me, there were friends, activities, etc. that had been a priority before that I just COULD NOT fit in without killing myself. I simply had to table some things to get through seasons where a lot of UNfun things HAD to be the priority.

And I get this is the same with others.

Like my nephew. He lives an hour away. He was working two jobs to save for education after high school, playing sports, finishing a senior year and also had/has a very lovely girlfriend and who can blame him for wanting to spend free time with a pretty girlfriend instead of an auntie? LOL.

To come and see me is a logistical nightmare for him at this juncture. Now, I can get all butt hurt he doesn’t love me or just relax and know that priorities change. I didn’t do anything wrong, he still loves me, and I can focus on other priorities (without one of them making a voodoo doll of my nephew because *sniff* he doesn’t hang out with me).

Some folks, yeah, we let go for good because they’re blowing us off and we need to stop chasing them. Others? Life can be a beating and if we push OUR will, we can also push them away because we are guilting them into relationship instead of recognizing they have their stuff, too.

Like that old saying, ‘If you love someone let them go. If they love you they’ll return.’ It’s true. Control is NOT love.

When dust settles, those folks will either miss us or they won’t and if they do? YAY! If not? Then we already moved on to more meaningful activities and fruitful relationships.

And, when we use the word ‘busy’ sometimes it IS a fact. Other times? We need to reevaluate our priorities, focus on meaningful actions instead of constant reaction, set some boundaries, and ask the hard questions about what we want and what we are willing and unwilling to do.

Well said, Stacey. As a friend of mine once pointed out, “I’m too busy” (or “I don’t have time for that”) is often code for That’s not a priority for me right now. So, rather than offering up the old I’m too busy excuse, I try to recognize my half-hearted reaction for what it is: a subconscious acknowledgment that what’s being asked of me simply isn’t a priority at that moment. That not only alleviates a certain degree of guilt, I’ve discovered, but it brings my actual priorities into sharper focus, compelling me to keep my eye on the prize.

I love your blog, have been reading for years, am a little shy in the comment zone.
This was a very powerful post. I have been going through the question asking, evaluating, etc. and am about to embark on a new life.
Hopefully, I’ll be taking some of your classes soon!

People have often made comments to me about my getting up at 5 am. First it was to write when my children were too little for preschool. Then when the did go to school all day I still got up at that time to exercise so I could write while they were in school. Now they are in high school and my son is about to graduate. I still get up at 5. Sometimes I go to the gym with my daughter. Sometimes I work out alone. Sometimes I write and sometimes I sit with a cup of tea before the day explodes and I get too busy.

I’ve published five books with three more coming out this year. I go to the workshops, I read, I write, and I fill my time with the things and people that bring value to me.

Everything else I’m too busy for. 😉

I’m trying to take a good long look at my life lately. What am I spending time on? How do I rank it in terms of getting published?

I think it might be time.for another Facebook Sabbatical.