Comments on: Forgiveness: Everyone Loves a Good Redemption Arc

By: Valinora Troy

Valinora Troy — Sun, 25 Jan 2026 17:54:05 +0000

Great post! And you are right, forgiveness is a choice, not an emotion. And it frees us too. 🙂

By: Kristen Lamb

Kristen Lamb — Fri, 23 Jan 2026 14:15:58 +0000

In reply to Mr. David M Merchant. Thanks for the thoughtful comment, and all of that YES! Apologies it was late on approval. Got lost in the spam slot and I found you---THANKFULLY

By: Mr. David M Merchant

Mr. David M Merchant — Mon, 03 Nov 2025 09:11:43 +0000

I tend to ascribe to the “willing to forgive” vs “forgive even if the other doess not repent.” When the adulteress was brought to Jesus, after he asked the Pharisees “he who is without sin, throw the first stone” and everyone left, he asked, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said no, and he said, “neither do I condemn you,” and for her to go and sin no more. If we condemn, we do not allow the sinner a chance to repent. If we do not condemn, we allow the sinner a chance to repent; we are willing to forgive, but forgiveness requires repentance. Jesus didn’t say I forgive you. He said I do not condemn you. That is an important distinction. In other words, Jesus is saying I am willing to forgive, I want to forgive (hence, not condemning her), but that she must repent. Being willing to forgive is letting go, but still requiring justice, still requiring an apology or restitution or some act of repentance before we can forgive (a forgiveness we are willing to do once the person honestly strives to face their sin and do something about it, who work on redeeming themselves).

If we forgive without requiring any kind of repentance, apology, restitution, whatever, then are we not just enabling the sinner, even encouraging them to keep sinning? Isn’t it best for the sinner to know they must repent? Being willing to forgive lets them know we have not condemned them, that we want to encourage them to change their ways—that what they did was and is still wrong but we want them to repent. We are willing to forgive. And that willingness lets go of the hate.

When I worked at a sexual assault crisis center, I saw the pain inflicted on survivors by well-meaning people who said to the survivor, “you must forgive.” And even “forgive and forget” and I found that such words were more for those saying it than for the victim, they didn’t want to deal with her rape, they wanted her to just “move on” so that they would no longer experience discomfort, pain, the struggle to recover; they wanted it to be over quickly. They were thinking more about themselves than the survivor by saying “you must forgive the rapist.” So, I agree with those who say we should be willing to forgive, but God never said we should forget and Jesus never said to forgive someone who has not repented. If someone did not know they were doing something wrong, yes, that can be a situation to forgive without needing repentance first. (“Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do” which, again, shows that you don’t automatically forgive someone who knows what they do, knows they were sinning.)

By: Brian Pope

Brian Pope — Tue, 23 Sep 2025 23:39:06 +0000

I have two examples of forgiveness and redemption in modern stories.
First, in the movie The Mission (Robert DeNiro, Jeremy Irons), DeNiro’s character, a slave trader, is forgiven by the brother of a man that the slave trader murdered. The image is fantastic–no spoilers; you must see it yourself. It’s one of my favorite scenes in any movie.
Second, in The Walking Dead and its spin-offs, Negan is gradually forgiven by Maggie, the wife of a man he murdered (Glenn). There’s a looooong arc to the depiction of his redemption, and it is a hard sell for fans (me) to embrace it. He went from a character who was vile to, well, something else, and Maggie had to change too.

By: V.M.Sang

V.M.Sang — Tue, 23 Sep 2025 09:46:00 +0000

This is the most thought-provoking posts I’ve read for a long time. The analogy of the bell is brilliant. Thanks for posting.

By: Kristen Lamb

Kristen Lamb — Tue, 23 Sep 2025 01:08:25 +0000

In reply to tiffanydickinson. And again, I firmly believe it is why we are so "bad" at forgiving. Toxic people have hijacked the term to mean, "Whatever nonsense I want to pull, no matter how badly it implodes your life, we just start over, right?" NO. It undermines boundaries we need to remain safe and sane.

By: Roger L Nay

Roger L Nay — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 22:03:51 +0000

Thanks for another thought provoking blog post.

By: Kristen Lamb

Kristen Lamb — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 20:14:49 +0000

In reply to tiffanydickinson. I think it is very human.

By: Kristen Lamb

Kristen Lamb — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 20:09:28 +0000

In reply to Sally M. Chetwynd. Love has a way of disarming us that way, doesn't it?

By: tiffanydickinson

tiffanydickinson — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 20:09:20 +0000

In reply to Kristen Lamb. This is such perfect timing, Kristen. I appreciated the reminder that although we're meant to personally forgive, it doesn't mean there are no consequences to the offending action. This is what is often mistaken.