“Neurodivergent” (ND) has been a bit of a buzzword for the past decade, and even more so in the past couple of years. Seems like everyone is “neurodivergent” these days, like we are coming out of the woodwork.

Yes and no (a post for another day).

I’ve been hesitant to talk about this topic for a number of reasons, largely because it puts me in a super vulnerable place. Not easy for most people, and I’m certainly not immune.

Additionally, I “get” I’m not an expert beyond my own experiences, so take the post for what you will. I feel that the qualities that make us “neurodivergent” are what make many of us gravitate to creative professions in the first place—writing included.

Being neurodivergent can give us major advantages.

However….

The challenges that go with being neurodivergent can also hinder many of us from ever seeing meaningful success.

For instance, as a writer, I can tell you I’ve listened to 500+ audiobooks in the past 4 years. Many of those titles I’ve listened to in excess of 20 times.

There is NOTHING “NORMAL” about this.

One of my particular quirks (being autistic) is to learn absolutely everything possible about the topic du jour, which is GREAT. When I write any book, whether it is fiction or non-fiction, I am a veritable encyclopedia of information.

I easily make connections others do not, see patterns others might miss (ADHD). Then, I obsess (the OCD) until it is….SQUIRREL!

Friggin’ ADHD.

Being transparent. Today’s post is longer than usual.

But you and I BOTH know everyone skims, so just roll with it. Pick and choose what might apply to/help YOU.

Or read EVERY word because do you really want to be cleaning right now?

I didn’t think so. So read it twice.

All kidding aside, this post will be divided into two parts. In PART ONE, we will go over what I mean when I say “neurodivergent” and a bit of MY experiences, which you might relate to…or totally want to skip.

No problem.

PART TWO is more “general application.” We’ll cover what it’s like being a neurodivergent author, your strengths, weaknesses, and some tips and tricks to navigate this brave new weird world.

PART ONE: WHAT is “Neurodivergent”?

Being “neurodivergent”—to use super broad strokes—simply means our brains process information…differently. Can this be a “disability” or a “handicap”? Sure. Autism can be so acute the person cannot function outside in the real world (E.g. Rain Man). But not ALL neurodivergent people (or autistic people) are Rain Man.

I explain it to my son this way. For the most part, autistic people are an Apple OS in a Windows OS world. Is it a “disadvantage” to have a Mac OS?

Ask anyone who’s ever tried to find a connector for their Apple laptop so they could do a Power Point presentation….

YES!

It can be a hassle, much like my husband’s Android phone fits nicely in the charging cubby in our SUV…whereas my iPhone needs a special “certified” Apple cord, a detailed horoscope, a blood sample, three letters of recommendation, a credit check and a cosigner.

And yes, we will be mixing metaphors more than a 90s DJ today, so just roll with it….

Ice Ice Baby!

FOCUS.

Impairment: Tis a FLESH WOUND!

When one claims any impairment due to being neurodivergent, this can be akin to claiming to be visually impaired.

If I am visually impaired, this can mean anything from I need 1.00+ reading glasses to see the directions on a pill bottle to I was born without EYES! It might mean I am colorblind, have nystagmus, macular degeneration, damaged corneas, retinal tears, glaucoma, Sjogren’s Syndrome, etc., etc.

In fact, with visual impairment, I might have a combination of these problems (as well as ancillary, but related issues, such as diabetes or cardiac problems).

When someone says they’re visually impaired, this does not by default, mean they have a seeing eye dog, read only by Braille, and have no lights in their houses…though they might.

Same with being Neurodivergent (or autistic).

The Neurodivergent “Fruit” Salad

My journey to a diagnosis has been a LONG one, for a number of reasons we’ll discuss another time. Suffice to say that a lot of conditions are listed on what is referred to as the Autistic Spectrum. According to Harvard Health:

Autism often comes paired with other conditions, such as ADD, ADHD, generalized anxiety disorder, dyslexia, ODC, and so on and so forth. We have a “cluster” of issues.

It is possible to be autistic, and have only say, one comorbidity (E.g. ADD). But, it is just as likely one might have several, or NONE.

There is a saying, “If you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.”

We are all a Special Unique Snowflake Fruit Salad, yes. This is a huge part of the challenge many of us face. What combination of weird are you? Still weird, just different weird.

Not ME! I CAN’T be AUTISTIC!

*me clutching pearls* circa 2019

Autism never once crossed my radar. I’d pretty much accepted I was probably ADHD (and most definitely weird). Anyone who’s met me five seconds can see that. But autism? PHSAW!

Then, in 2019, I happened to be the main keynote at a large conference in West Texas. A lovely older author (who was a professional psychiatrist by trade) came up to me after I presented. She told me she thoroughly enjoyed my teaching but she wanted to suggest something, but was worried I’d be offended.

I assured her I had rhino skin.

Her: “Just listening to your anecdotes and watching you, have you ever considered you might be a high-functioning autistic?”

Me: Err? Whah? Pshaw! Seriously?

Her: Autism presents very differently in females and is extremely hard to diagnose because women are better at “masking.”

Me: What’s “masking”?

And thus began a long and painful journey. My entire life, I just thought I was annoying, picky, lazy, high-maintenance, crazy, wasn’t “trying” hard enough, etc. etc.

By about 2022, however, it was becoming painfully obvious I could no longer “outwork” my “disabilities.” I would have to approach things differently unless I wanted to be washing down Oreos with a bottle of tequila.

I go into this more in a previous post Neurodivergent: Being ‘Different’ in Life & Fiction.

My Autism Side

I never really played as a child as much as I “organized” things, whether that was my 10 gazillion stickers, my favorite books, or my Barbie collection (clothes by size, by era, or by color?).

From a very early age, I was a “collector” whether that was Barbies, all things Strawberry Shortcake, My Little Pony, series of books, a brand of pen, a certain series of notebooks.

Lisa Frank? I had ALL…THE…THINGS. Stickers, notebooks, spirals, erasers, pens, calendars, backpacks, posters, etc.

GOD HELP anyone who colored in MY coloring books.

If I played pretend, usually it involved forcing younger children to be students while I was the “teacher.”

***For the record, my little brother still has superlative penmanship and is a voracious reader of all the literary classics.

For me, teaching myself Conversational Swahili using Berlitz tapes from the library or making chlorine gas with that new Chemistry set (TOTALLY AN ACCIDENT) was “play” and “fun.”

Whenever I discovered something new, I had to do/learn ALL THE THINGS about whatever. I BINGED.

True, I struggled to make eye contact when I was young. BUT you get smacked and punished enough and you learn really quickly that eye contact is a big deal to adults.

Since I always struggled with social anxiety, I learned to “mask” by being funny. I was terrible at reading social cues but I could (mostly) cover that up by being “clever.” I remember watching all the great comics, studying their timing, their lines and yeah….

People are less judgy if they’re laughing.

Enough said.

Sensory Issues

As a kid, I refused to wear pants, tights, anything with elastic, or itchy zippers. Often, I tore my clothes apart because I hated the tags, any scratchy fabric (when corduroy was all the rage), wouldn’t wear clips in my hair (gave me headaches), refused headbands (gave me headaches), or hats (yes, gave me headaches).

My mom always bought me the exact same brand of shoes. Always. Maybe change the color, but not the brand. Though my grandmother would buy me other shoes, I’d wear the Buster Browns until…they…DIED.

I had the same shampoo (Johnson & Johnson), the same perfume (Baby Soft, duh), and watched the same movies. To this day, I can pretty much recite “Labyrinth” from memory (and “Grease”, “The Holy Grail”, “Stripes” and “Robin Williams at the Met” and WTH were my parents DOING?)

Anyway…

I’ve always preferred dark/dim lighting, and struggled in school with the bright/fluorescent lights. Mom (who we now know is also ND) never minded that I basically read by candle light (in a tutu, upside down surrounded by my favorite sticker books).

Additionally, I have such super sensitive hearing that it’s caused me terrible sleep issues most of my life.

***I now sleep in noise-canceling head phones because YES, I CAN hear spiders fart.

I loved the same records and am rather shocked my mother didn’t murder me for playing the same FIVE records SIX HUNDRED times a day.

Every day, I packed the very same lunch (peanut butter and honey, cut diagonally and an apple). If we went out to eat, I ordered the exact same thing. If my mom cooked the same meal every night? I was in heaven (and she frequently did cook the same meal every night).

I had the same routine, hated any kind of change, and functioned best when everything was clean, orderly, and organized. In school, I believed in following the rules and fell apart when others didn’t follow the rules.

And teachers who felt the need to be clever and “change up” the seating arrangements?

What is WRONG with YOU?

Not Much Has Changed

I still eat the exact same foods and wear the same clothes. If I find a shirt or pair of pants I love? I buy all of them…in all colors…and wear them until they DIE (and maybe a little bit after death).

I don’t want a new perfume, I want my favorite (thought they keep GETTING RID of my favorites and then I need to find a NEW favorite). When I go out to eat, it is always the same couple of places and they already know my order.

I listen to the same songs (or genre of songs) until I burn myself out, then cycle to my next fave and repeat.

Every morning is the same routine and if anything disrupts this? God help us all.

When I used to take hot yoga, I’d get there 30 minutes early to get MY spot. Right in front so I could see the instructor’s face in the mirror. In the far left corner by the windows so I wasn’t hemmed in on all sides by people.

If anyone got in my spot before me? All I could feel was incandescent rage for two hours…

OHMMMMM….you’re in my spoooot…..you psychopaaaaaath…..I hope you dieeeeeee….

I’m much better now *left eye twitches*

MY ADHD Side

THIS is where things get jiggy, because as anal and rigid as I can be, my brain is ALSO an explosion of ALL THE IDEAS. I see patterns in everything. Chaos is my middle name.

Back to those 500+ Audible titles? I listen while cleaning, cooking, crocheting, painting, and gardening. It is pretty much impossible for me to do ONE thing at a time.

Kid you not. I’ve been learning Mandarin since April, because doesn’t everyone just decide to learn one of the world’s hardest languages solely FOR FUN?

I will literally be doing a Mandarin lesson, while crocheting and watching television and answering my husband’s questions.

And I CAN do all these things at the same time.

Though this is also how my cellphone ended up in the fridge…and we just don’t need to talk about that.

These 500+ audio books are on top of paper books and ebooks and no I don’t have a problem, DO YOU?

Well, PUNK? DO YOU?

I thought not.

Anyway, as obsessive as I am about order, I can never seem to maintain it.

*openly weeps*

I am very much my own worst enemy. For those on WANATribe, we have been doing writing sprints every day all day (M-F) for like nine years. I pay NING $65 a month to basically maintain focus using peer pressure and timers.

If I put items in a box to “organize,” those items (to me) cease to exist once the lid closes. I need shelves or clear boxes. As brilliant as I think I can be, I am also…an idiot.

My mind is a whirlwind of ideas and facts and tangents and plot bunnies and, and….

PART TWO: Neurodivergent Creatives

What Does This Have to Do With Writing?

This is a totally unscientific guess, but I imagine many of you reading this blog (who are usually writers) probably were laughing, nodding, or maybe crying at a lot of this post.

As I’ve said many times before, if you are a writer, you are NOT NORMAL. The NORMAL SHIP sailed without us a long time ago. A lot of ND people gravitate to writing, but we might also struggle to be successful at it.

Ironically, the very things that make us ND can also make us superlative authors, which we’ll go over. Take heart.

Neurodivergent Authors: Autism and Writing

For instance, those of us who are on the autistic spectrum? We’ve literally made it our life’s mission studying human behavior. How do humans interact? What is this body language thing (that we clearly keep MISSING)?

We’ve read books on behavior, read fiction, watched movies, and parsed every tiny interaction. We can be masters at imitation in life and writing, which can be good and bad.

I told jokes for YEARS that had people in stitches, and I had literally NO idea what was even funny…just that people laughed…all the way up until HR talked to me.

So, if you’re autistic, you possibly excel at supreme focus, in depth studying, and understanding/explaining certain subjects in amazing (okay, excruciating) detail.

Just remember that not everyone wants to talk about serial killers, the Black Death, or the evolution of Medieval torture devices at that holiday party.

Unless it’s a holiday party with writers, then you’re probably going to be popular for the first time in your life.

Here are some challenges that I (personally) have found as an autistic writer, so again, I AM NOT A PSYCHIATRIST, I just play one on the internet.

Beware of Too Much Detail

We get SO excited about our world, our technology, or describing the world around us down to the molecular level that we can lose the reader.

Readers want stories about PEOPLE facing adversity. If they want a gazillion pages of pure information, they’re over on Reddit or “correcting/adding to” Wikipedia.

Learn to BEND

Flexibility is your friend. I KNOW you so want to go down that research rabbit hole but STOP. I am here to save you from yourself.

If you are writing your novel and realize you don’t know how to describe, say, a fishing boat, feel free to type INSERT COOL DETAILS ABOUT FISHING BOATS HERE LATER.

Then finish your story (again, that thing about people) and when you are resting after that draft, read all things “commercial fishing” and LAYER those details in later.

I have a writer who started out as a commenter who’s become a lovely friend. He hired me to look at why his sci-fi series wasn’t selling. There was no doubting his work ethic. He had like 15 books at the time.

But, I was only a couple chapters in and saw the problem. Magnificent world-building…but he kind of forgot to focus on the people and their problems (and no shocker, he is ND).

Once his recalibrated his focus? A MILLION TIMES BETTER!

It’s an Outline, Not a Suicide Pact

Many autistic people can fall into being planners and plotters, which is fabulous, unless this rigidity is keeping you from exploring your story in a deeper way.

Stephen King talks about the “boys in the basement.” I can personally attest my subconscious has come up with MUCH cooler stuff than I ever could have planned out ahead of time.

Yet, I will say (largely because I was “overcorrecting” for being ADHD) I’ve had times I refused to change course because I was terrified of being “a flake.” Which is all well and good except when your course is taking you off a CLIFF!

Neurodivergent? Be Mindful of Energy Levels

This actually applies to the autistic as well as other “fruits” in our Special Snowflake Fruit Salad. We can become so engrossed in whatever that we fail to keep in touch with how tired, hungry, or stressed we are.

If you add this on top of the exhausting effort it takes to “appear normal” it is a LOT.

Remember the kind psychiatrist who hinted I “might” be autistic? And how I had no clue what “masking” was?

There was a good reason this took time to discover.

It is because it’s only very recently that the psychiatric community is even admitting ADULTS can be autistic, let alone WOMEN.

*more clutching of pearls*.

Let’s say there just hasn’t been all that much out there until recent years.

But back to masking.

All my life, I struggled with being “fine, fine, fine” then something small/stupid happening—I can’t find my favorite pen—that would absolutely DERAIL me and leave me a hysterical raging mess of tears, snot and apologies.

I had no clue what was causing this (Hint: it’s called an autistic meltdown and applies to most neurodivergent people).

Case in point:

Early this year, I had a professional appointment. No one “mandated” I bring copies of my resume, but why be prepared when you can be OVER-PREPARED?

Suffice to say, my mom had just had surgery, I was trying to get over Whooping Cough, was homeschooling a gifted 8th grader, we’d just had a death in the family, and so I…delegated.

Normally, I would have checked what my husband printed, but I thought, “Kristen! This is you being a control freak. It’s FINE!”

Yeah.

When I opened my leather portfolio in the meeting, to my horror, I realized Hubby had printed all of my pages…crooked.

And in the wrong order.

With the headers cut off.

Good news is Hubby is alive and I am not in jail (or even on bail! Go me!).

I’d yet to learn about the Spoon Theory of Autism (and this also applies to anyone dealing with chronic issues, pain, etc.)

I only have so many spoons of energy until I need to withdraw and regroup…or BOOM!

Now, for Neurodivergent ADD/ADHD Writers

I’ll be the first to admit that I went to extreme lengths to avoid any formal diagnosis. To me, it seemed that too many people were using autism, ADHD/ADD, etc. as an excuse for bad habits, poor character, obnoxious behavior and to be willfully lazy.

***Don’t shout me down, that was MY opinion at the time (and still a little today).

Back in college, I was engaged to a brilliant man who quit halfway through a PhD. He actually quit most things, which was largely why we didn’t work out. Years later, I ran into him and he asked what I was doing. I told him I was a writer.

Him: I’ve always wanted to write a book, but I am way too ADHD.

Me (inside voice): No, you’ve never written a book because you lack the discipline to finish what you start.

***I’m actually much better at the inside words staying inside thing.

If you are ADD/ADHD, you can be a fountain of creativity. You see patterns in everything and make connections others don’t see…until you point them out. Your innovative way of seeing the world can make you a groundbreaking author…

…if you just sit and FINISH.

Remember, if this applies to you, I have one finger pointing at you and the others all pointing at ME.

ADD/ADHD Needs Structure

If you are ADD or ADHD and this doesn’t apply to you? Scroll past or feel free to leave your way of handling things in the comments. For me? I was a hot mess. I had a terrible habit of starting things and never finishing. Did I fail to finish because I was lazy?

Nope.

***Okay, maybe sometimes.

I failed to finish because I lacked the discipline to stay the course and I followed every single plot bunny…and their babies…and their babies’ babies.

This was HOW I ended up with my first “novel” being 187,000 word romantic-mystery-thriller-suspense-religious-comedy-self-help.

I started blogging back in 2007 (on MySpace) then blogging here in 2008 (???). The main reason I forced myself to blog was to learn to SHIP. It created a space that trained me to get butt IN chair until the work was COMPLETE.

Then LET GO.

And commit to a schedule.

Perfect is the enemy of the finished.

If you are struggling to finish a novel, then maybe do a blog or do a flash fiction every day, week, whatever. Train those writing muscles. More importantly, train those finishing muscles.

For instance, I taught myself to crochet. I am NOT ALLOWED to begin anything new, until what I am working on is finished.

***Reading books? Totally doesn’t count. I usually have like 5 going at any given time.

Neurodivergent: Did I Mention Structure?

This is where we can part ways with those who are autistic (or go to war with our “autistic” side). I believe a lot of pansters likely are ADHD. We actually need to start telling the story to figure OUT the story.

To be blunt? This is a highly inefficient way to write. No shade if it works for you! If you are a panster and finishing novels faster than Mortal KOMBAT? Then don’t change. Duh.

But, if you keep getting off track, then try getting your idea at least into ONE SENTENCE.

I even have to do this with NF.

When I helped write The Trap: Sex, Social Media, and Surveillance Capitalism I HAD to write a small paragraph describing what the book was about. When writing about the dark depths of the digital adult entertainment industry, there were SO MANY tangents.

Jewels and I simply couldn’t cover them ALL in one book. We needed essentially a log-line.

Even for fiction. If you’re neurodivergent (or even if you aren’t) this is GOLD. In ONE sentence, what is your story ABOUT? Even if it is something simple like what I am doing now: My story is about a ghost ship in the derby days of crabbing.

NOT a lot of details, but if I start going down too many trails that suddenly make my story NOT about a ghost ship in the derby days of crabbing…there is a problem.

Neurodivergent to Neuro-DIVERTED: NO to the Bunnies

Again, us ADHD people see patterns and new ways of seeing and doing and thinking and, and, and, and….

STOP.

IF you are writing your novel, you can take a trick from what I do with my autism. Should you think there is a thread you need to pursue, try writing WHAT IF THEY GO X DIRECTION INSTEAD? Then let your brain sit on it.

At least try to keep moving forward. If that detour, however, does not serve the overall story you are currently working on?

Put it in a folder.

Go to that blog I linked to about log-lines. See if your “plot bunny idea” might have enough meat to stand on its own. Write a log-line and maybe a little synopsis. Then when you FINISH the current idea, your bunny(ies) will be waiting…and likely breeding.

Here is how to write a synopsis, no salt circle necessary. This will keep you from smashing fifteen story ideas into ONE BOOK.

Conversely, IF you are unsure because, like I said, we often talk through/work through to FIND the story, then I highly recommend Google Docs. Break up your story with HEADINGS you can easily shift through (I think Word and Scrivener can do this too).

This will help you trim all that FAT when you get to the end.

For instance, my ghost ship story? My main character needs to be a land-lover greenhorn. So how does he end up on a boat in the Arctic circle? I literally have sections that read Probably NOT Part of Main Story but WTH, WHY NOT? Maybe I will keep it, ditch it. I don’t yet KNOW.

But the header function keeps me from having a bazillion separate documents and allows me to zip through what I already know is a hellaciously over-bloated document.

IN CONCLUSION:

Neurodivergent, NOT Lazy or “a Flake“

Merely different.

The writing profession has never been easy and we now face challenges no writer in this history of PLANET EARTH has ever faced.

A.I. anyone?

We have enough odds stacked against our success without self-sabotaging. This said, before I realized “being neurodivergent” was a thing, and that I might actually BE neurodivergent? I was harder on myself than anyone.

BUT, I also gave myself slack where I shouldn’t have.

To this day, I wear a rubber band on my wrist (to lightly snap) to keep me present so I don’t talk over people. Apparently, people get annoyed when you keep finishing their sentences.

Who knew?

I know I get enthusiastic and I certainly don’t mean to be rude. But that doesn’t mean it is okay for me to be Tigger and bounce through all the conversational crockery making a mess.

Additionally, when I give my word, I strive very hard to keep it and not take on any more work. I ran an editing special back in October, then everything decided it needed to update…so it could then CRASH.

Not kidding.

Word crashed, wiping out over 100 pages of edits. Then WP coughed up a digital hairball. Event Espresso (what I use to “sell” services) decided to toss all messages into the ABYSS and even WANATribe was 404 and took a week to fix.

Edits that normally should have been easy-peasy turned into a month-long nightmare (because of technology; the writing samples were unusually brilliant).

The old me would have just refunded the money out of sheer overwhelm.

But I’ve matured. I let people know what the tech issues were, and figured most people actually are not nearly as hard on me as I am.

Embracing Being Neurodivergent

When my mom sent me to be tested in August (I am NOT joking)…

Yes, my mother had me tested…

Anyway, she asked me what I hoped to gain from an “official” diagnosis. Which, was a fair question.

I wanted to know what are called “critical nodes.” Whenever a company hires a security specialist (like, say for building a DAM in Venezuela), that specialist should point out unique areas of weakness that are inherent to the design.

For instance, if the company is aware that rebel groups might want to sabotage their dam, they don’t want to pay for security everywhere, just the most likely points of attack or system failure.

Same with being neurodivergent.

Was I autistic? Or just wanting an excuse for being controlling? Or was I being over-controlling because of being autistic? Was I ADHD or just undisciplined? A combination of both?

So on and so forth.

For me, since getting a diagnosis, life is MUCH easier (mostly because I can plan and also give myself grace). I no longer feel guilty because I never wear the stunning dress I paid a fortune for, because NOW I know I’m never going wear it because of the seams and type of fabric.

***This also informs me of what to buy/not buy in the future.

Yes, I am swimming in 9,000 different hair clips (which I will donate at the beginning of the year). I kept believing I just had the wrong clip and didn’t put 2 and 2 together that it was a sensory issue.

I’m more mindful that I can be much too loud. People think I am upset or yelling at them. No, my hearing is stupid sensitive. The world (to me) is very, VERY loud.

I hear the AC cutting on and off, the computer processor humming, the traffic, the kids playing outside, the GUY WITH THE LEAF BLOWER, WHAT IS WITH THAT AND HOW IS HE EVERYWHERE?

So, to me, I am talking over a very noisy world.

Again, I use the rubber band. A quick snap on my wrist to remind me to slow down (the ADHD) and assess if the world is really that loud, or if I’m overexcited/overstimulated. Before my diagnosis, I had NO CLUE why I’d get so loud I was irritating people.

Now? I know hurdles I might encounter.

A diagnosis has given me tools to better communicate. For instance, my husband likes getting everywhere at the last minute, whereas I need to be places a half hour early.

We’ve come to an agreement.

IF he wants me to sit still and be quiet, he THEN must get me there early enough to center myself and calm my anxiety (or no kicking me under the pew).

What Are Your Thoughts?

We can talk on this topic again if there is any interest. I just know I felt unbelievably alone until I became a writer…then I DISCOVERED MY PEOPLE!

Trust me, I know that not every writer is ND, but I think many of us are. Additionally, I think a lot of us don’t KNOW we are ND and we beat ourselves up feeling like freaks, weirdos and failures.

I firmly stick by my theory that what can make us brilliant artists is also linked to why we struggle to finish, get/remain organized, have a hard time being able to stick-and-move and change with all the trends…

***OR we are SO good at sticking-and-moving with the trends we forget to WRITE BOOKS.

Did you relate to any of this? Maybe have a friend? A family member? Obviously I know today was a lot, but in the future I’d like to break this all into smaller pieces we can explore.

Do you see yourself in this? Or do you have something to add? I’m totally new to all this so I’m exploring ALL THE THINGS!

Are you ND, but maybe in a different way? A Tropical Fruit Salad (papaya hypoactive, mango dyscalculia, and banana ADD) instead of that North American (apple autism, walnuts OCD, and pear ADHD)?

I LOVE hearing from you! What are your stories, struggles, tips, tricks, links, epiphanies?

The post Neurodivergent Authors: Not Lazy or “Broken” appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Neurodivergent is a buzz word that’s taken off in the past decade. The term applies to a broad spectrum of people who are, for whatever reason, not normal. Those who ‘suffer’ from ADD, ADHD, OCD, dyslexia, dyscalculia, etc. are all on the list.

For those who don’t know or haven’t guessed, I’m on the autistic spectrum and also have mild dyslexia, dyscalculia, and severe ADHD. Most of my life, I knew I was different, but wasn’t exactly sure why. I was always an outsider and struggled to pick up social cues.

***Most of my grade school teachers are still the fodder of nightmares.

I don’t recall my third grade classroom, only what the hall looked like.

Teachers punished me because I did things differently than the other students. I was a whiz at math, could solve highly complex problems in my head, only to fail the test because I transpose numbers. Or, I showed my work, but solved the problem differently than the way the teacher wanted.

It seemed no matter what I did, it was wrong. I talked too much, moved too much, worked too quickly, asked too many questions, and my obsessive need for order caused more than its fair share of problems.

In Kindergarten, my teacher broke all my Crayons in half and tossed them all together in a bucket.

I have still not gotten over the hurt.

Neurodivergent vs. Neurtotypical

Obviously, to be considered neurodivergent there has to be a counterpart, which includes those considered neurotypical.

Neurotypical describes individuals who display typical intellectual and cognitive development. Since human beings are social animals who band together for survival, a neurotypical is generally adept at navigating complex social situations, picking up on subtle social cues, creating friendships and forming lasting bonds.

They are more aware of what could be socially off-putting. Apparently, talking about serial killers or the Black Death for an hour straight at a cocktail party is not normal.

Who knew?

Unlike neurodivergents, neurotypicals aquire verbal, language, social, and problem solving skills along a fairly standard timeline and meet generalized milestones for development. They can also function well in a regulated environment without becoming distracted or overloaded by stimuli.

And, for the record, there is overlap. Some people can be mixture of both.

Neurodivergents & the Social Disconnect

GREAT at seeing patterns…in everything but a conversation *face palm*

As I’ve mentioned before, I am not a clinical psychologist, I only play one on the internet. Early life, for me, was challenging at best, but often pretty miserable. Not to tell a sob story but I didn’t like playing with other kids when I could be copying the encyclopedia or playing with my chemistry set.

Sorry about the chlorine gas.

In all honesty, I didn’t UNDERSTAND other kids. I had no concept WHY they wouldn’t be interested in organic chemistry or political science.

At first, I retreated totally inwards, reading, drawing, learning clarinet. Eventually, after binging enough standup comedy, I ‘learned’ how to be funny. I could ‘mimic’ being sociable, and to an extent I still do.

Back when I was growing up, I wasn’t neurodivergent, I was weird, a freak, a nerd, or (to most adults) a problem child. The handful of teachers who ‘got me’? OMG what a blessing!

I didn’t understand that one wasn’t supposed to be honest all the time. So one time, in 6th grade, when the same four boys disrupted the social studies class every single day for almost a month. And every single day the teacher made everyone put their heads on their desks even though we’d done nothing wrong.

I became more than a little annoyed.

Eventually, I asked the teacher why she couldn’t just send the four boys out of the room. Her job was to teach us about the Roman Empire, not read romance novels.

Yep, Mom got called to school over that one.

Overstimulation

Those of us who are neurodivergent are frequently viewed as ‘problematic.’ For instance, being on the autistic spectrum, I cannot tolerate certain textures in food or fabric. I am VERY picky about the clothes and jewelry I wear. Turtlenecks and chunky jewelry either give me anxiety or a headache.

I’ve recently struggled with finding a church to attend. No shade on the new style of churches. I know many people love the praise music and the show. But for me?

Dark rooms packed with people combined with booming music and flashing lights is a nightmare. Yet, when I say something about the loud noise and bright lights it falls on deaf ears because everyone else enjoys it.

This is why I struggled in school. The ‘noise’ of everything was simply too much, which was why I’d tap my foot or pen or move around…and eventually be planted in the hall.

Even now, as I am writing this, I’m wearing noise-canceling headphones.

When I worked in Corporate America, my admin and I nearly came to blows over the lights in MY office. I worked on a laptop and the natural light was fine. Florescent lights are too bright and flutter and give me headaches.

Invariably, the admin would lean in my office while I was working and turn on my overhead lights.

ACK!

Stimming & Neurodivergent

Stimming is common for everyone, but might be more pronounced with those who are neurodivergent. Biting nails, twirling hair, tapping a pencil, etc. are all forms of stimming.

Stimming is a way of dispersing extra energy that builds up as anxiety (obviously that anxiety will be more acute in the neurodivergent). One of the reasons experts believe that autism went underdiagnosed in females is that our stimming behaviors and coping mechanisms are far more socially acceptable thus go unnoticed.

Coloring for hours, rearranging dolls all day, collecting thousands of stickers or unicorns, writing stories, practicing a dance move over and over are simply ‘girl behaviors,’ thus fly under the radar.

I was in ballet for almost ten years. My mom deserves an award for letting me dance through the house all day every day for HOURS. To this day the only reason I think she doesn’t hate me for playing Tchaikvosky 600,000 times was because she’s also neurodivergent.

As an adult, I clean and listen to books and podcasts. I find it very difficult to sit and just read. When I used to attend church, I worked church security because I could walk around and look for any potential problems while also listening to the sermon.

With ADHD, I have to be doing multiple activities to pay attention. One that is a ‘no-brainer’ (cleaning, crochet, gardening) and the other that requires focus (listening to a lecture, a sermon, a book, talking on the phone).

I also live my life by lists, times and routines. Interfere with any of these and you’ll have me climbing a wall. Yes, I can be flexible…if I can plan it ahead of time.

Neurodivergent: Disabled or Differently Abled?

***Note: I KNOW and very much appreciate there are severe and even debilitating forms of autism, OCD, etc. but that isn’t what I am talking about today.

Thus, for the record, I am speaking for me as a neurodivergent person in a normie world. I get REALLY irritated when some suggest I have a disability. I believe I simply have a different operating system. Sort of like being a Mac when 93% of the world is Windows.

If being neurodivergent is a disability, then being left-handed should be as well, since all lefties know what it is like trying to function in a world where everything from notebooks and desks to cars and combines are designed for right-handed people. Lefties even have higher rates of accidents and, consequently, lower life-expectancies.

Did y’all know that 25% of CEOs and as much as 35% of entrepreneurs are actually dyslexic? Because they struggle with reading, they are more apt to commit information to memory, are better at delegating, and are excellent at persevering.

My son (A.K.A. Spawn) is neurodivergent and, at age 12, he studies three languages (German, Spanish, Russian) every day ‘for fun.’ He knows so much about every war from ancient Greece to Desert Storm, he’s like a walking Wikipedia.

When other kids his age are watching cartoons, he’s studying forensic accounting to understand how organized crime launders/hides money.

His favorite topic of ALL…*hangs head* vexillology. My son IS Sheldon.

Neurodivergent in Fiction

Whether we realize it or not, neurodivergent people are REALLY common in fiction, as noted above. Virtually every character on the wildly successful series The Big Bang Theory is neurodivergent, albeit in different ways and to different degrees.

Obviously neurodivergent characters will pop up more commonly in some genres than others, but characters who see and process the world differently are valuable in life AND in story.

Some favorite examples.

Thriller: The Accountant is about a severely autistic man who’s channeled his unique skillsets to become the ‘money guy’ for organized crime around the globe.

Science Fiction: Stranger Things is packed full of characters who are the nerds, freaks and rejects…who are just the type of people necessary to save the world.

Drama: As Good as It Gets Melvin Udall is a famous novelist who is a raging homophobe, misogynist, and misanthrope who suffers from crippling OCD. He ends up the very unlikely hero when his homosexual neighbor is the victim of a hate crime.

Crime Procedural: With Monk, one police department’s debilitating disorder is private detective’s superpower. Abby, genius forensic scientist and pathologist on NCIS, is at the minimum VERY ADHD. Dr. Laura Isles in Rizolli & Isles, is likely on the autistic spectrum though not to the degree as forensic anthropologist Dr. Temperence Brennan in Bones.

Nerds, Freaks, March to Their Own Kazoo

Our culture has used neurodivergent characters as tropes since before anyone knew what it was. We are those who are different, outsiders, freaks. Most of my growing up years were tough because being a nerd was a fate worse than death according to pop culture.

In a way, The Big Bang Theory was a mixed blessing for me. I read Dune, LOTR, played Dungeons & Dragons, was in debate, the chess club, a mathlete and collected all things Star Trek back when I got beat up for loving stuff…

…that’s now cool *rolling eyes*

No one wanted to talk to me unless they needed to copy my homework or wanted help on a paper. I remember longing to be normal, to fit in, to be like everyone else. Now? I fly my freak flag high. When it comes to my son, I tell him…

And, when we look to all the best movies, who are the heroes we love? Goonies, Ghostbusters, Back to the Future, Weird Science, and like every super hero movie EVER?

Neurodivergent People Have Problems

Just by the nature of our brains and sensory systems working differently, we DO have problems. Personally, I can’t be in (as in part of) really large crowds, around loud noises and I need time to be quiet. I miss social cues, can hijack conversations, talk too loudly and take things WAY too literally.

When I was a kid, there was an antacid commercial that practically gave me apoplexy.

Ad: How do you spell relief? R-O-L-A-I-D-S

4-Year-Old Me: *screaming at television* No, you dummies! It’s R-E-L-I-E-F!

Yeah, still working on nuance.

Sometimes the problems simply stem from, as I mentioned earlier, having a Mac OS in a Windows OS world. But, other neurodivergent people have struggles all along the spectrum of severity. Some of us do a fairly decent job of ‘fitting in’ whereas others probably never will, and that is okay too.

While fitting in can be overrated, I do admit there are times I wish I were normal… even though I have ZERO idea what that even would feel like.

Neurodivergent and Conflict

The beating heart of all fiction is conflict. Without conflict, we are left with ‘stuff happening.’ Since every scene requires conflict, more often than not, conflict will come from allies.

Think about Rizzoli and Isles. They’ll have a scene where clearly the victim has been shot but when Detective Rizzoli says the victim died by gunshot, Dr. Laura Isles chastises her. They know nothing until the body is on the table. She refuses to even say there is blood, only a ‘reddish substance.’ This is maddening for Rizzoli.

Abby from NCIS is like trying to get a fruit bat hopped up on cocaine and Pixi Stix to focus on one topic.

Dr. Sheldon Cooper has zero social skills and no sense that anyone has needs other than him. His girlfriend is Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, a Harvard graduate and a neurobiologist.

She is also, obviously neurodivergent not only because of her field and interests, but it would take a neurodivergent person to be attracted to someone like Sheldon and have the patience and the grace to try to have a romantic relationship.

My favorite? When Amy builds a Tardis around the door to lure Sheldon into the bedroom (for intimacy) but he just keeps running in and out of the bedroom trying to escape Daleks and searching for his sonic screwdriver.

Normal isn’t Always What is Needed

Neurodivergent characters can obviously be stars of the story, but they can also make fabulous allies. In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy is only different because she’s chosen and has powers to hunt and kill creatures the Hellmouth is spawning underneath Sunnydale.

While Buffy is a neurotypical who excels in the social realm (cheerleader) and is popular, she can’t fight evil without her less ‘normal’ allies like Giles, Xander and Willow.

This week I’m teaching a class on how to build characters that are strong enough to endure a series (Use New15 for $15 off). Neurodivergent characters are a great addition. We’ve always seen them, just maybe thought of them as the nerd, the brain, the geek, the computer whiz, the conspiracy theorist, the outcast, etc.

Neurodivergent characters might notice patterns the ‘normal world’ misses. They solve problems in unique ways or have skillsets that ‘popular’ kids wouldn’t have. Think of Dustin in Stranger Things who somehow always has a screwdriver, flashlights, batteries, and compasses. Dustin is the brains and Steve is the brawn.

Also think how much FUN it is to see a neurotypical and a neurodivergent team up. One of my favorite character threads in Stranger Things is how super popular jock Steve Harrington becomes best friends with shameless mega-nerd Dustin Henderson.

Put these two together and yes, there is conflict. But since each has skills the other doesn’t possess but needs they make a great team and, eventually learn from each other and grow as people.

***For me, Eleven—while interesting and necessary—comparably isn’t nearly as interesting as other characters in the series.

In the end…

As neuroscience is understanding more and more about how the human brain works, we are realizing that people who were once labeled as freaks, weirdos, nerds, lazy, difficult, etc. just are different. And there are a LOT of us. More by the day since the digital revolution is really a boon for us weirdos.

We’ll talk more about different types of characters in the future, but today hopefully shines a light on a character that you probably see every day (many of you in the mirror) and how they can really make wonderful additions to your fiction.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Do any of you guys struggle with being neurodivergent? I have a personal theory that many writers are neurodivergent and why we write people so well is because we spend so much time studying them. What are your thoughts on that?

Did you ever appreciate just how many neurodivergent characters there are in fiction, and how they can make the neurotypical characters shine even brighter?

When I mentioned the teacher breaking all my Crayons, did anyone have a VISCERAL reaction? What are some of the ‘things’ that bother you but don’t seem to affect regular people? Do you ever wish you were normal?

For the ‘normal’ people out there reading this blog (all five of you), do your weird friends make a little more sense?

I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU!

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

We have been doing a lot of traveling because my FIL has serious health issues so I will announce May’s winner next post. I know I promised that last time, but we had to go to Arkansas AGAIN. Apologies.

CLASSES!

***All classes come with a FREE recording

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The post Neurodivergent: Being ‘Different’ in Life & Fiction appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

The Spawn loves airplanes. Watching The Blue Angels.

This week I have to go to a parent-teacher meeting regarding The Spawn. They are concerned he is developmentally behind because he’s four and people have a hard time understanding him. His speech isn’t where it “should be.” And this just puts a knot in my skirt.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I want to honestly and lovingly help my son with any challenges he might face, but sometimes I want to scream. We have handed our kids to the bean-counters and academics and the children are the collateral damage.

This Isn’t Our First Rodeo

When The Spawn was two months old, I took him for his first checkup and vaccinations. They wanted to give him and UNGODLY amount of vaccinations at one time and I said no. I wanted to space them out. He weighed only eight pounds and common sense dictated that a tiny body could not take that kind of bombardment.

The pediatrician shopped short of calling me an abusive mother.

Jerk Doctor: Well, the American Medical Association says—

Me: Okay, stop there. Doctors also thought radiation for everything was AWESOME and once recommended X-Raying children’s feet to fit SHOES properly. They prescribed Thalidomide for morning sickness which caused rampant birth defects. Every drug pulled by the FDA has first been approved by the FDA. So logic is not on your side, Buddy, and forgive me if I don’t worship the APA, AMA, FDA because I think that’s a good way to end up DOA.

He loooooved me.

What was particularly interesting was when I took our dog, Pippa, to be vaccinated, she weighed the same. Eight pounds. The veterinarian made me take her in multiple times because a body that small couldn’t take the onslaught of mass vaccinations. I asked if she could be my son’s pediatrician because she had more sense.

Let’s just say I have a history of being THAT Mom.

College Prep for Infants

So a couple weeks ago I hear a commercial for an on-line education system and I’m sure it’s great. But the commercial ticked me off. It’s a mom’s voiceover with touchy-feely music talking about how her son was born with a health issue and spent his first six months of life in a hospital and she was deeply concerned he’d be behind educationally.

Huh?

All right. I am from Texas and maybe I’m a dumb redneck, but what’s a kid learning between birth and 6 months that needs help from a computer learning tool? Maybe The Spawn is defective because I remember chewing on toes and rolling across the living room floor to be the big deal.

I’m a bad mother. I was letting him teethe on picture books instead of refining his understanding of fluid dynamics.

Big Trouble in Little Wedgewood Elementary

I was always in trouble in school. Yes, I see your shock face. I didn’t learn linearly. I had to reverse engineer everything and still do. I have the mind of an engineer or a ferret (jury is still out on that one). I have to pull things apart to understand HOW they work.

My mom was great. She didn’t force me to sit at a desk and do things the way “normal” kids were supposed to, likely because she already knew The Normal Ship sailed without me. She didn’t care if I did my homework hanging like a bat at midnight wearing a tutu so long as it got done and I made good grades. School, on the other hand, was not thrilled with me hanging like a bat in a tutu and this is why all memories of third grade involve me sitting in the hall.

Kristen Circa Third Grade

I made the best grades but was in the most trouble and not a lot has changed.

I think standardized testing is fine…no, sorry I think it’s boneheaded. It has nothing to do with knowledge and only tests one’s ability to take a test. I scored so low on my SAT I think they had to check me for a pulse. I started out in junior college in Moron Math while I tutored Chemistry and Physics for extra money and read books on Chaos Theory for fun.

The “Test” told them what math class I needed and the Oracle Test doesn’t lie.

I dropped out of high school twice. It took me five years to graduate by the skin of my teeth and I am the reason for the current truancy laws. But, in my 20s, I spoke four languages and earned a degree in International Relations with a heavy emphasis on Political Economy of the Middle East and North Africa. I was a killer code-breaker and every branch of the military wanted me in Intelligence. So that whole reverse-engineering I received Fs for in school was apparently very useful after all.

Ironically, this skill is what makes me an excellent teacher.

What is Standard Anyway?

Either let our teachers be teachers and do their jobs and their art (which teaching IS) or just be honest and hand them a white lab coat and a clipboard and be done with it. Reward the kids with a Nutri-Log if they can figure out how the hell Common Core Math works.

And this whole notion that “Your kid is this age and should be doing this” would be fine with me if it weren’t worshipped to the point of stupidity. Yes, we need benchmarks. We need to know areas to focus so we can guide and nurture our wee ones. And maybe The Spawn is verbally behind because he loves solving highly advanced puzzles more than talking. He’s like his parents. More like Shawn cuz I never shut up, but dig puzzles.

Our boy is FOUR. For the love of all that is chocolate, let them be BABIES. Let them be LITTLE. It is such a brief and beautiful time and we are forgetting that.

Bat Spawn and his trusty minion, Lazr Cat. And, no. I have NO idea how he got up there.

They’re kids not copies. No human is identical. We don’t come off an assembly line. Can someone please tell the bureaucrats and scientists that they will never create a single operating manual that will work on all of us.

Michelangelo was dyslexic. DaVinci nearly lost every commission he was given. No one wanted to work with him because he was a NOTORIOUS flake. He’d start a project then see something shiny and disappear for weeks or months. He was SEVERELY ADD and that’s a good thing because we can thank him for his art, his groundbreaking work in anatomy, his early designs of flying machines and SCUBA gear and on and on.

Einstein likely had Asperger’s. Walt Disney was considered slow. Churchill had a speech impediment and was bad at math. Agatha Christie had dysgraphia (an inability to  understand written words) yet grew up to profoundly impact an entire genre with her unique writing style.

What if these geniuses had been in our modern school system? I think they’d have been sitting in the hall, too. Maybe the “experts” would have even medicated the genius right out of them so they could grow up to be something soul-sucking…with dental benefits.

No I’m Not Crazy. My Mother Had Me Tested.

I know I might be overreacting. I’m a writer and we can be dramatic, but often I think it’s because so many of us were chastised for being different. We didn’t fit in. We couldn’t be “measured” as accurately as others. Maybe we even were told we were learning disabled. Because my brain works differently than the fat part of the bell curve, I am disabled? Really.

Yes, I wrote a half a million words in less than a year…I also put the mayo away in the microwave.

And The Spawn is SO funny and clever. He made up the death metal song “Zombies and Babies” at age three. Not long ago he started singing “Zombies and Pears.”

Me: Zombies and pears? Zombies eat brains. What kind of zombie eats pears?

Spawn: *matter-of-factly* Vegan Zombies.

And HOW do you argue with that?

What are your thoughts? And feel free to disagree with me, I only ask that any debate be polite. I’m anti-drone so feel free to offer me another POV. It’s how I learn. Maybe there is a perspective I haven’t considered. The Spawn is my first and only boy, so this is new. Any of you have suggestions? Ways I can prepare for this meeting? I am bringing Hubby so he can hold my leash and make sure my muzzle stays on.

Do you think all this college-prep crap’s gone cray-cray? Maybe SAT instruction for pregnant women to put on their bellies?

Are you frustrated that every year they seem to be putting our teachers in a tighter straight-jacket? Are you one of those kids who sat in the hall, too? Hey, we’re Hall Peeps! Any teachers who can offer some help, advice, anecdotes? Do any of you  “suffer” from a learning disability? Has your “learning disability” actually been your greatest asset? I know my ADD presents many challenges, but so does being boring.

How have you overcome your disability? And sorry, that last question still ticks me off. WE need to overcome? Maybe “normal” folks should have a moment in our brains and see what they’re missing…SQUIRREL!

Anyway…

To prove it and show my love, for the month of MAY, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly. I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

I will announce April’s winner after waking from the conference coma in a couple days.

If you want more help with plot problems, antagonists, structure, beginnings, then I have a FANTASTIC class coming up to help you!

CLASS COMES WITH HANDOUTS AND FREE RECORDING.

Understanding the Antagonist

If you are struggling with plot or have a book that seems to be in the Never-Ending Hole of Chasing Your Tail or maybe you’d like to learn how to plot a series, I am also teaching my ever-popular Understanding the Antagonist Class on May 10th from NOON to 2:00 P.M. (A SATURDAY). This is a fabulous class for understanding all the different types of antagonists and how to use them to maintain and increase story tension.

Remember, a story is only as strong as its problem . This is a GREAT class for streamlining a story and making it pitch-ready.

Additionally, why pay thousands for an editor or hundreds for a book doctor? This is a VERY affordable way to make sure your entire story is clear and interesting. Also, it will help you learn to plot far faster and cleaner in the future.

Again, use WANA10 for $10 off.

I’ll be running the First Five Pages again at the end of May, so stay tuned.

And, if you need help building a brand, social media platform, please check out my latest best-selling book, Rise of the Machines—Human Authors in a Digital World.

The post Common Core and Vegan Zombies—Confessions of an ADD Mother appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

In this paradigm, social media is—OOH! SQUIRREL!!!!

Today, I want to talk about something that is vital to success. REST. In Western society, we have this warped sense that we need to be productive 24/7. In fact, one of the biggest challenges I face as the Social Media Jedi is that writers believe that, if they are having fun on social media, then they must be doing it incorrectly. They mistakenly believe that all that time chatting about life, hobbies and family is somehow not as good as “marketing” their book and blitzing out non-stop promotion, yet nothing could be farther from the truth.

Contrary to what one might think, that “fun time” on social media will actually create the most resilient parts of our platform—relationships. When people connect with us emotionally, they bond and they become part of our “tribe.” These more primal instincts are what will create long-lasting love, loyalty and passion for our brand.

But writers believe if it is fun, then it mustn’t be work.

As a craft teacher, I run into the same issue in a slightly different form. I can tell in two pages if a writer reads a lot of fiction. It is simply shocking how many people want to write a book, but then they believe that reading fiction (or watching movies) is a waste of time. Everything becomes about pounding out more word count and the quality of the stories suffers.

I run into many writers who are so fried and burned out working on their novel that they can’t remember the last time they had a creative thought. Yet, when I suggest resting, reading a book or watching a movie, I might as well have handed them a crack pipe.

What? READ? Who has TIME?

I must confess that I suffer from the same problem. I work and work and work until I am ready to drop when the best thing I could do for my creativity and productivity is to STOP. I believe a lot of this goes back to my childhood, and is also a product of Western thought and culture.

History and Some Armchair Shrink Time

If you study the Industrial Revolution, you will see that the formation of public schools went hand in hand with industrialization. Schools were charged with creating a literate population, sure. But one of the main reasons so many philanthropists like Vanderbilt, Carnegie and Rockefeller supported schools was that schools were there to train the workforce of the future.

Schools teach us to sit still hours at a time, take instructions, and not to question authority. We learn early on that creativity is punished and conformity is rewarded. I was constantly in trouble in school because I never could work linearly. Sitting still? Fuggetaboutit.

They were constantly claiming that I had a hard time focu—OOH SQUIRREL!!!

Where was I?

Oh, yes…

I remember one time the teacher assigned a complicated maze. I started from the end and worked to the beginning, solving the maze without hitting any dead ends. She gave me an F. Why? The goal of the maze was to solve the maze, right? Why did she care HOW I got the answer so long as I did it myself and didn’t cheat?

But she did care. Yeah, Mrs. Foster kinda hated me. I spent most of my third grade year sitting in the hall. Fun times :D.

I was constantly in trouble for how I looked at life, that I didn’t do it like everyone else and so every report card was marked with: DOESN’T USE TIME WISELY.

Of course, looking back, I was a creative personality, with probably a touch of ADD. We live in a world that punishes those of us who don’t do it the way the manual states, and this can really affect our relationship with time. Creative people, when we walk barefoot in grass or watch cartoons or look at pictures on Pinterest, we ARE working. We can’t help it. We are always creating, but we live in a world that has told us that, because our “work” can’t be measured with “metrics” (I.e. word count) then it must be goofing off.

It isn’t. Learn to ignore those voices.

Back to the dead bodies. Kristen, what is with you? More zombie stuff?

No.

Those of you who follow me on Facebook or Twitter know that I regularly do Bikram yoga, which is 90 minutes and 26 postures in a room that is around 110-112 degrees. It is fabulous for detox, for the joints and the back, and the heat gives an amazing cardio workout and helps prevent injury because warm muscles are pliable muscles.

Anyway, there is a pose called savasana, or Dead Body Pose (or Corpse Pose). When I first started doing Bikram yoga, my biggest challenge wasn’t the poses or even the heat. It was sitting still (and shutting up for 90 minutes, but that is another blog). Seriously, I could not sit still.

I felt too guilty.

I ran through my grocery list. I thought about plot points. I went over research. But just being still and relaxing was making me twitch. The second half of the class was really tough, namely because every pose had a 20 second savasana after it. Pose, then dead body, pose, then dead body. You got it.

THE GUILT!

Please, let me at least take my iPhone in here. Then I can play Angry Birds and improve my eye hand coordination. SOMETHING!

All I could think of was the words of my third grade teacher, Kristen just doesn’t use her time wisely.

*twitch, twitch, twitch*

No matter how hard I tried I had a hard time resting. But then a weird thing happened. I decided to do the Bikram Yoga 60 Day challenge. 60 days of Bikram in 60 days. I happened to notice that I did great in every class but one. There was one instructor I HATED.

I didn’t hate her, just her class. She was a sweet, sweet lady, and I couldn’t understand it, but, every time I took her class, I felt like CRAP. I kept having to sit down. I didn’t have energy. I felt sick, winded, drained and this didn’t make any sense to me because every instructor says the exact same words. They have a 90 minute script that guides the class through the pose. It shouldn’t have been different. Same script, same poses, same room.

I could NOT figure out what was going on.

I drank more water. I took extra electrolytes. I thought maybe it was because she taught in the evening, so I took her in the morning to see if I could make it through. Nope. Still tanked. I thought back to childhood and wondered if it had to do with some unresolved Mommy issues I hadn’t located. Maybe my lack of energy was passive aggression on my part to sabotage her class (Hey, I’m a writer. We over-analyze everything).

No matter what I tried, nothing helped. And I wasn’t the only one who was struggling. I noticed other people in the class having to sit out or rest, because they couldn’t keep going, people who normally were fine.

WTH was going on?

Then, one day while in this instructor’s class, it hit me what was going wrong. In the second part of the class you are supposed to do a pose. This is an extreme exertion of energy. After the pose, you are to lie still in savasana, like a dead body (hence the name). Not only are you supposed to lie still like a dead body, but you are to lie there for TWENTY seconds. Yet, this instructor was rushing. She was only leaving us there for SIX seconds. We didn’t have enough time to rest and recharge, and it was drastically affecting every pose we did.

This was a powerful lesson for me. FOURTEEN seconds. What difference did FOURTEEN seconds make? It made a world of difference. Instead of having energy and doing every pose with confidence and ease, I felt like I was going to vomit and had to keep lying down. I LOST MORE TIME BY NOT TAKING TIME.

How many minutes of the workout did I lose because of those missing fourteen seconds?

How much of your productive time are you losing because you won’t take a day or two days to rest?

Dead bodies are good for us. Lie still. Do nothing. Dead bodies don’t have grocery lists and kids and deadlines and day jobs. We must have balance, Yin and Yang, light and dark, cookie and cream filling. The Force must be strong with you so chill the heck OUT!

I know many of you likely have a Mrs. Foster in your head telling you that you aren’t using time wisely. Ignore her and don’t feed her your attention and energy. Things we don’t feed eventually die, even the sour-faced elementary school teacher trapped in your head.

When we rest and recharge our work is better and clearer. Creativity is like a battery and it runs out of juice. Recharge that imagination. Play, relax, go to the park, finger paint, play Twister with your kids. Laugh. The world needs creative people to keep its humanity. If all of us are just efficient little workers then Skynet wins.

So go enjoy your weekend…after you comment. I will be grading, and those of you who don’t leave a comment are not using your time wisely. SLACKER!

So do you have a Mrs.Foster trapped in your head? Were you in trouble for not sitting still and for failing to use time wisely? So you have trouble resting? Have you overcome being a workaholic and have tips to share? Do you—OOH! SHINY!

I LOVE hearing from you!

Quick Announcement—I have a cool new class I am offering ACHOO! The Writer’s Guide to Going Viral. Also check out the new classes at WANA International. We have classes about global domination using Facebook, how to turn your book into an audio book, how to build a WordPress site of your own. Tons of cool stuff taught by WANA instructors hand-picked by ME (but please do not hold this against them :P).

To prove it and show my love, for the month of October, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

And also, winners have a limited time to claim the prize, because what’s happening is there are actually quite a few people who never claim the critique, so I never know if the spam folder ate it or to look for it and then people miss out. I will also give my corporate e-mail to insure we connect and I will only have a week to return the 20 page edit.

At the end of October I will pick a winner for the monthly prize. Good luck!

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.

The post ADD, Word Count & Why Dead Bodies are Good for the Living appeared first on Kristen Lamb.