“Talk is cheap.” This is a common idiomatic expression, at least here in the States. While these might be words to live by, they are also words to write by. Dialogue can make or break story. It can make a ‘meh’ story concept shine or tank a superlative story idea.

Talk, or lack thereof, is therefore crucial.

I strongly recommend every serious writer buy then STUDY Robert McKee’s book, Dialogue: The Art of Verbal Action for the Page, Stage, and Screen.

McKee defines dialogue as, “Any words said to any character by anyone.”

He also states:

All talk responds to a need, engages a purpose and performs an action. No matter how seemingly vague or airy a speech may be, no character ever talks to anyone, even to himself, for no reason, to do nothing.

McKee, Page 3

In McKee’s book, he explains how novelists wield far more creative power than stage or screen writing. When we write what is called the ‘narrative,’ this counts as a form of dialogue. It is talk between the POV (Point of View) character and the reader.

Novelists can truly BE gods of their own worlds.

Author God

While other ‘artists’ use paint, clay or other physical, tangible materials to ‘create,’ writing is completely abstract (particularly in short stories and novels).

Writers use various combinations of 26 letters to create characters that feel so alive, audiences can very literally go into a sort of depression when a story or series ends.

Authors create new worlds, languages, religions, dimensions, creatures and PEOPLE that have never existed all solely using various combinations of letters. And, frankly I’d say we have more like 23 letters since Q, X, and Z are all but useless most of the time.

We can use ‘talk’ to inform, disrupt, distract, enlighten, or even misdirect. Thus, today, I’d like for us to explore the purpose of dialogue.

How can we use ‘talk’ wisely? In the interest of time, today we’ll look at some of what spoken dialogue can and should do and cover writing the narrative another day.

Dialogue and Characterization

The most obvious use for spoken dialogue is that it defines, deepens, and distinguishes each character. We can use vocabulary, idiomatic expressions, and subtext to inform the audience without spoon-feeding them as if they’re stupid.

Dialogue is one of the many ways we, as writer god, can craft human beings with loves, loss, and layers simply by crafting how they speak (or don’t).

Talk, Vocabulary & Subtext

Whether in speaking dialogue or narration (thinking), vocabulary is critical. Vocabulary is a treasure trove of information How a character talks can reveal age, where the character is from, belief systems, educational level, background, vocation, interests and more.

In the first example I’ll riff a section of dialogue and layer in subtext (what is being said without being said) which leaves gaps for the audience to fill in the blanks.

Example One:

“Lord, it is hotter than the hammered hinges of hell out here. You think Delroy’s really stupid enough to hole up at his mama’s place again?”

“I know he is.”

“Well, la-dee-dah, aren’t we confident?”

“There is a vast difference between confidence and certainty. Your Delroy believes his laptop has been totally wiped. Yet, data can never truly be destroyed, at least not for those of us trained in the art of resurrection.”

“Great. Since I’m sweating my balls off, maybe you can turn this here water into a cold beer.”

“Don’t be pedantic.”

“Not paid enough to be. Only paid for small words.”

“Clearly.”

“That and to collar inbreds who diddle with kids on-line. And, you know, to make sure they don’t accidentally get hurt too bad on their way to booking.”

“I’ll pretend you didn’t just say that.”

Talk Analysis

Now, I have not named either of these characters but do you see all the information we can mine from how each person talks? This snippet of banter informs us we are probably in the American rural South.

Character One

We know this from the Character One’s colorful description of the heat, the name ‘Delroy,’ his use of the idiom ‘holed up’ and the descriptors of ‘his mama’s place,’ ‘inbreds,’ ‘diddle,’ etc.

It’s also fair to assume Character One is male, since he’s ‘sweating off’ a uniquely male part of human anatomy. The audience might also glean that this character goes to church or has a history of church attendance because of his jab to his braggart partner about turning his water into a cold beer (a clear reference to Jesus turning water into wine) in reaction to the partner using the word ‘resurrection.’

He isn’t a die-hard religious man, but he is schooled enough in the faith to cleverly banter.

The first character seems affable and self-deprecating, since he’s only ‘paid for small words.’ We also get a sense that he has a very fluid sense of right and wrong. There is by the book (arrest a pedophile) and by HIS book (he hints Delroy might have some ‘accidents’ on the way to the station).

There’s also a suggestion Delroy is a repeat offender since Character One clearly states, “holed up at his mama’s place again.” We can infer then, that this isn’t Delroy’s first run in with the law.

Character One uses the word ‘collar’ and ‘booking.’ This is law enforcement vernacular.

Character Two (in BLUE)

The second character is, from all indications, far less emotive. This character is obviously highly educated, expertly trained with computers, and confident almost to the point of bravado.

Since the second character only uses two contractions, this could point to English as a second language or simply a stiff/formal personality.

Also notice this character refers to the suspect as “Your Delroy” which intimates this character is an outsider possibly new to the area or at least brought in to assist. Talk indicates this person doesn’t identify with the community.

We also get a peek at Character Two’s moral compass as well. He (or she) doesn’t directly challenge Character One when he hints at being rough with the suspect, merely claims neutrality on the matter.

Maybe this person is the type to look the other way, or maybe this is a gentle hint to Character One that he’s been warned that Character Two doesn’t like that kind of nonsense and could possibly report any unsanctioned behavior.

With dialogue, we can also guess that the pair are probably on a stakeout and at least one if not both are members of law enforcement.

See HOW MUCH we are able to mine out of fewer than 150 words of dialogue? We get setting (hot), location (rural South), vocation, education, moral compass, objective, background, etc. etc.

Talk & Holding the Reader’s Brain

In this next example, I’ll write the same scenario, but remove all the subtext.

“Texas summers are really brutal. It must be a hundred and ten degrees outside. I can’t believe we’re having to wait on our suspected pedophile to show his face. Surely he isn’t dumb enough to hide at his mother’s trailer. That’s where I arrested him the past three times. Are you sure your computer skills are good enough to be sure he’s here?”

“I am certain he at this location. I graduated top of my class at MIT. Pawn shops only wipe enough personal data for a laptop to be resold. By downloading a recovery program, I was able to reconstruct not only his last emails to his buyer, but I could re-pixelate the child pornography he is trying to sell today. His pawn shop friends really didn’t clean his computer totally. All the evidence is still there.”

“Geeks who sit at a desk aren’t real cops. I’m still not sure you know what you’re doing.”

Okay, I am stopping here because I can’t stand anymore, and I believe that’s enough to make my point.

Editors have the mantra, “Show don’t tell” and this can be used in the narrative, but it can also apply to dialogue. Alexa could have crafted this dialogue it is so devoid of humanity.

Yet, as an editor and avid reader, I cannot tell you HOW OFTEN I see dialogue like this. It’s stiff, contrived, and leaves no room for the imagination.

Good Talk vs. Bad Talk

What determines the quality of spoken dialogue? Writing quality, to a degree, is subjective. One could reasonably say the same about dialogue.

Quentin Tarantino fans don’t care his characters use so much profanity they leave sailors clutching their pearls. Me? When the F word is every part of speech? It’s too much and, over time, detracts from the story.

But that’s just me. Tarantino’s excessive use of profanity, however, is a style choice and isn’t what I’d deem as ‘bad’ or ‘amateurish’ dialogue.

Obviously, if you want the full deep-dive about dialogue, get the book I recommended. We can only cover so much in a blog post.

One of the reasons I suggest at least doing a log-line ahead of time is because then we know the ideal characters to cast, how they’ll need to arc, what they are likely to resist, and, most importantly…the ultimate objective.

How does the story end?

If we know these critical pieces of information, then dialogue becomes much easier.

In my made-up dialogue, what is the scene objective? To arrest Delroy. This informs what my ‘characters’ then talk about. I can also inject tension. Character One isn’t so certain his computer nerd partner has it right and for all he (or the reader knows), this could be a miserable waste of time.

Dialogue hooks the reader because we want to know which speaker is correct. I could end the scene any way I want. Delroy might be inbred, but he is after all, a repeat offender. Maybe this is a decoy.

Maybe the reader expects they’ll arrest Delroy, but then I flip their expectations upside down and they’re both wrong. Delroy is a victim, a patsy they find dead. Someone even better at computers set him up…but who?

Suffice to say, when we know how our story ends, we up with much less ‘filler’ and wasted dialogue that does little more than pads the word count.

Remember How People Talk

I’m a notorious eavesdropper. I study HOW people talk and how they DO NOT talk. Granted there are always exceptions, but here are some tips.

By and large, people don’t call each other by name when having a conversation.

“Hey, Julie, how is your son Aiden doing at Middlebrook Elementary?“

“Well, Danielle, Aiden is doing much better since he left Green River Elementary.“

“Oh, Julie, that’s so good to hear.“

WHO TALKS LIKE THIS? Robots. Robots talk like this.

Unless we’re flagging someone down trying to get their attention, we generally don’t use their name. We certainly don’t keep using it

People don’t rehash commonly known information.

This is called, “As you know, Bob” dialogue.

“Julie, as you know, Aiden was diagnosed with severe autism two years ago, which was why my husband, Tom and I, had to change where he went to school.”

Most of the time, people don’t speak in complete and grammatically correct sentences.

Unless this is a unique affectation (E.g. the character Data from Star Trek), don’t feel the need for every character to speak perfectly and in complete sentences.

In conversation, usually one person won’t speak more than three sentences.

They CAN, just if we have them go on monologuing too frequently, it sounds weird (refer to Example Two above). When you see you have a LOT of sentences, that’s a good clue you might be trying to hold the reader’s brain and are using dialogue to dump information.

A great trick of the trade is to read your dialogue aloud (without tags) to another person. If you stumble over places, then smooth out the wording. See if the person listening can tell your characters apart simply by they way they talk.

Remember, speech patterns, vocabulary, pace, etc. can do more to distinguish characters than all the physical description we might want to lavish on every character. We’ll remember their dialogue long after we’ve forgotten eye color and hair color.

Talk Saves Us Description

I LOVE pretty prose as much as the next lexiphile, but dialogue is so much more revealing.

“If you need a friend, get a dog.”

“Bogus. Heinous. Most non-triumphant. Ah, Ted, don’t be dead, dude.”

“Never thought I’d die fighting side by side with an Elf.”

“Cause Chevy didn’t make a 327 in ’55, the 327 didn’t come out till ’62. And it wasn’t offered in the Bel Air with a four-barrel carb till ’64. However, in 1964, the correct ignition timing would be four degrees before top-dead-center.“

I chose four vastly different characters. But, can’t you just envision the types of people who’d speak this way? Even if you don’t KNOW the first is Gordon Gekko from Wall Street, you still know this character is blunt, cold and doesn’t waste time with feelings.

Would I NEED to slather on a paragraph describing surfer dudes after that line from Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure?

This third example might not jump out right away, but I don’t even need to explain this is from a fantasy because of word choice. It is the dwarf, Gimli, from The Return of the King. We GET it is a fantasy and don’t need to wax rhapsodic describing how dwarves and elves have been long-time enemies. Dialogue accomplishes this with a couple words.

And #4? I threw that in for fun. Who can guess the character?

What Are Your Thoughts on TALK?

What are your favorite quotes? Lines from screen, stage or screen? Do you see how powerful a tool dialogue can be? Does this give you ideas how to tweak how your characters speak?

I love hearing from you, and I am NOT above BRIBERY!

What do you WIN? For the month of DECEMBER, for everyone who leaves a comment, I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice.

What do you win?

The unvarnished truth from yours truly. I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

***We will be loading fresh classes for 2022 soon.

Classes

The Edge: How to Write Mystery, Suspense & Thriller is available ON DEMAND (sign up HERE and use Thrill10 for $10 off). The recording turned out FANTASTIC, so check it out. 

The post Talk is Cheap: Harness the True Power of Dialogue appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Dune…desert planet…no dialogue. Before we plunge ahead in our ‘sit-still’ suits, I promise to work very hard to avoid any ‘spoiler alerts.’ Though, in my defense, this story has been around since disco was cool.

Also, feel free to disagree with my opinion, just please do so politely. Videophiles and cinephiles will LOVE this movie. For the record, I am not arguing about the breathtaking cinematic beauty of the movie. That was spot on.

…it’s just the rest I’ll pick to pieces.

Why am I taking the time to critique the remake of Dune? Other than the obvious answer that there are a TON of amazing stories out there that Hollywood hasn’t already remade?

It has to do with one of the key fundamentals of the writing CRAFT—dialogue. Dialogue is more than talking, and when writers fail to appreciate that, we end up with forgettable books, plays and yes, movies.

Today I am not going to deep-dive all the ins and outs of dialogue, but I will use the rerelease of Dune to show—NOT TELL—why dialogue is critical for excellent storytelling. We’ll cover some essential points about dialogue, then I’ll cross-apply this to why Dune 2021 left me more than a little underwhelmed.

Dialogue Makes Stories Iconic

I feel I am uniquely qualified to critique the new Dune because a) I am a hopeless nerd b) I have read the unabridged books so many times it is no mystery I was single until age 35, and c) I’ve watched the original movie so many times I know every line by heart.

Dialogue is one of the key factors that can elevate a story to a legend.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Leave the gun, take the cannoli.

T’is a flesh wound.

Son, your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash.

That’s my stapler.

Winter is coming.

I worked hard to give numerous examples. The first is from Charles Dickens’, A Tale of Two Cities, a book long enough to brain a burglar. Most people recognize this quote, even though I would venture to say that, though they know the quote, they’ve never read the book.

I haven’t.

This one quote has lived on and is used in conversation, movies, etc. You might be yelling at me right now and saying, “But Kristen! That isn’t dialogue, that is narration.”

And that would be traditional thought. But, according to Robert McKee’s GENIUS book, Dialogue: The Art of Verbal Action for the Stage, Page, and Screen narration is dialogue and he explains why on page 3. We’ll also talk about this more in another post.

How many books, series or movies do we quote without even thinking? Lines that have woven themselves inextricably into our culture and even become part of our cultural lexicon? Dialogue is LIFE.

We KNOW Our People Because of Dialogue

The spice must flow…

Klatu…berata…nickle? Necktie?

Dear eight-pound, six-ounce, newborn Baby Jesus.

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

That’s my spot.

How many of us quote lines from books or movies we’ve not even read or seen?

I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.

I have never SEEN The Godfather. Don’t shout me down, I’m just not a huge fan of gangster films. But that has NOT stopped me from pillaging these movies like a crow for shiny bits of dialogue.

Don’t judge me. Y’all are guilty, too.

The point is, I will grant you that Dune 2021 is visually masterful, but when was the last time you shared a meme of something ‘visually masterful?’ Quoted…um, visual mastery? Memed visual mastery?

The point is, without solid story and DIALOGUE we all just sound like a bunch of Sundance geeks or pretentious film students.

“MASTERFUL!”

Me: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

Ultimately? Dialogue has tremendous power and resonance.

Verbal vs. Visual

This could be a symptom of me being an old curmudgeon, but I don’t think so. When it comes to the screen, I feel CGI was one of the worst things that could have happened to screenwriting.

When computers can create everything a writer ever imagined and more, this—more often than not—leads to lazy writing.

…and Jar Jar Binks.

So now, we’ll circle back to Dune 2021. Yes, I will admit that part of Dune’s appeal has always been the utterly fantastical world. Vast deserts, sand worms larger than the human mind can conceive, futuristic weapons, folding space, etc.

If you want a ‘visually stunning’ experience, then the remake is for you. Frankly, I kept falling asleep then startling awake wondering how the hell Melancholia ended up in the desert.

The special effects are almost sensory overload, and they did a beautiful job bringing this science fiction world to life.

Problem was, I went to the movie for the STORY of Dune as well. If I only wanted to be visually wowed to symphonic music? Um, I’ve already been to the Van Gogh immersive experience in Dallas.

The book, as well as the original movie, have SO MANY quotable lines, which, aside from being memorable, served a very important purpose.

Dialogue and Subtext

Yes, I saw the movie when Toto was still cool. Yet, even as an elementary school kid (yes, I am OLD) who had yet to read the book, I could understand there were so many more layers below the surface.

I can appreciate that the 2021 version was working to differentiate itself from the 1984 version, but there were a number of decisions I found rather perplexing.

First of all, the movie refers to a LOT of information/trivia that ONLY THOSE WHO HAVE READ THE BOOK would even remotely get. This is an almost 900 page book that weighs over a POUND.

For geeks like me who are in the know? Then the painting of the old duke and the bull and the subtle references to plant life make sense. To everyone else? That painting means NOTHING, and everyone else is going to have to wait for the second movie to know WTH the plants are about.

Since they fixated SO MUCH on the visual, there is actually very little talking. And, for the record, a lot of that ‘talking’ was pretty important for a number of reasons.

This is a Test

For instance, in the beginning when the Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam of the Bene Gesserit comes to test Paul Atreides, there is a subtle difference between the two movies.

Paul overhears the Reverend Mother chastising Jessica for having a son, but in the earlier movie (and the book) she makes a proclamation, “For the father…nothing.”

To which Paul freaks out and demands to know why RM is talking about his father as if he’s already dead. This not only foreshadows what is to come, but it SHOWS Paul is still a boy. He’s emotional and reckless with his words. He also has zero clue who he’s talking to and why yelling at this old woman might get him Vader-choked.

Paul has not yet evolved from boy to man, let alone from heir to ruler…let alone into a messiah.

Dialogue and Stating the Obvious

The beauty of the book as well as the original Dune is the notion that a potential messiah was coming. When the RM arrives, she chastises Jessica for daring to believe she could birth the Hooked-On-Phonics-Worked-for-Me Quizat Haderach.

We don’t know what this QH is, other than some sort of super being. OH-KAY. Remember how I preach, and preach and preach about how superlative storytellers excel at being amazing secret keepers?

Yeah, well Dune 2021 just tossed that concept out the window more times than I could count. Because apparently audiences sophisticated enough to keep up with Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Deadwood, Battlestar Galactica, Downtown Abbey and more…need everything written out for them with Crayons lest we get lost.

Granted, in the book, this is different, but Frank Herbert had like 750 pages more to work with.

When it comes to movies? Save a little for later, okay? Tantalize us. We like to be woooooed.

Case in point. These snippets of dialogue are from the BEGINNING of the movie *Kristen rails at the heavens*

Gaius Helen Mohiam : You’ve proven you can rule yourself. Now you must learn to rule others, something none of your ancestors learnt.

Paul Atreides : My father rules an entire planet.

Gaius Helen Mohiam : He’s losing it.

Paul Atreides : He’s getting a richer one.

Gaius Helen Mohiam : He’ll lose that one too.

I don’t even have to put in any spoiler alerts. THE Reverend Mother Mohiam does it FOR ME!!!

Or how about this?

Paul Atreides : There’s something happening to me. Something waking up in my mind. I can’t control it.

Gaius Helen Mohiam : What did you see?

Paul Atreides : There’s a crusade coming.

WHY DO WE EVEN NEED THE MOVIE?

AND THIS is actually a line! Literally NOT joking.

Gaius Helen Mohiam : Arrakis is a death trap.

Thank you, oh Great Stater of the Obvious! Where is a sand worm to crush me when I need one?

For the record, for a movie that cut out SO MUCH DIALOGUE? This is NOT how one uses the remaining dialogue.

Part of the reason screenwriting is SO DIFFICULT is it is CRAZY how much you have to jam into a handful of lines without spoon-feeding the audience like they’re braindead.

Short of the Reverend Mother Mohiam or Paul pulling out a Flannel-Graph or a Power Point, they’ve basically spelled everything out in case our teensy-tiny brains couldn’t keep up.

In the book as well as the 1984 movie, we know House Atreides is walking onto a trap, but the story uses the dialogue from other characters to add suspense: voices of warning (Yep, it’s a trap), voices of uncertainty (You sure they’d be so obvious?), and voices of pride (Who cares if it’s a trap? We can outsmart them).

Most of the critical information was delivered to the audience in subtext and vague references that one would NOT fully understand unless one watched the full movie or read the entire book.

Yes, Paul has visions but they make no sense until later. His visions are disjointed and lack context…until he evolves from boy to man to taking The Water of Life (test).

It isn’t until he survives the test, proves he is ‘potentially’ the Quizat Haderach that the visions fall into place in any coherent manner.

The visions serve as foreshadowing, they don’t spell out the entire PLOT OF THE MOVIE.

Also, just because Paul survived The Water of Life did not automatically mean he really WAS the Quizat Haderach. He still had to prove himself in Act Three as liberator, crusader, leader and, ultimately…messiah.

How do we know this? DIALOGUE!

At the end (mini-spoiler alert), Paul’s sister Alia proclaims, “And how can this be? For he IS the Quizat Haderach!”

The only reason she’d need to announce this is if, up until such point in the story, the idea her brother was the Quizat Haderach was somehow in question.

But for the 2021 crowd, I guess that is coming in the second movie.

…hopefully.

Dialogue and Character

We can tell a lot about a character’s arc from dialogue, as I noted above. But, with the new Kylo Ren Paul Atreides, he’s completely flat.

In the book and earlier movie, Paul had super abilities as well, partially from his mother’s training. Yes, he passed the test with The Box, he knew instinctively how to wear his still-suit desert-fashion, he had visions…but always with heavy dose of immaturity and childlike astonishment.

It’s only later that Paul remotely evolves into the stoic leader that the remake hands us almost from the outset.

There’s a crusade coming *Resting Paul Face*

Good to know!

What really saddened me about them removing SO MUCH dialogue from the movie is that—pay attention writers—dialogue is what adds dimension to characters.

In the new Dune? They did very little with the characters. I was actually shocked they’d made such a big deal about Jason Momoa being in the new movie since he has like three lines and is barely present.

Same but Different

Before anyone gets too upset, I agree, the new Dune is *mumbles* visually breathtaking. In fact, over the holiday, knock ourself out. Go to an IMax theater for the full visual and symphonic experience.

But, I’m talking about story today.

In the remake—due to plain awful or missing dialogue—most of the characters were interchangeable and had the depth of an Instamodel Real Housewife.

This did NOT have to be the case.

I was very pleased to see references from the book (as I mentioned above), and TRUST ME. There was MORE than enough dialogue the new screenwriters could have taken from the book so as not to copy the old movie.

ALMOST 900 PAGES WORTH!

As for the movie, I loved how they reimagined the Baron Vladmir Harkonnen. In the 1984 movie, they couldn’t get into nuance and so they made up for it with shock value.

Conversely, in the 2021 version, the Baron is MUCH more like the political shark he’s portrayed to be in the book.

I also LOVED how they reimagined Dr. Lyet Kines…except then they practically did NOTHING with her. Sadly, many characters who could have been SO MUCH MORE…fizzled or disappeared.

Here’s hoping for Part Two, though not holding my breath.

And if you want a laugh, Honest Trailers apparently thought a lot of the same things I did (it’s PG-13 so you know)…

What Are Your Thoughts?

Oh, I am bracing for it. I KNOW IT WAS VISUALLY MASTERFUL! That’s already been stated for the record. I’d hoped it wouldn’t simply be a retread of the 1984 film, but—since we’re referencing the 80s—where’s the BEEF?

In my POV, if they were going to retell Dune it should have been done in a long series like Game of Thrones. It is just THAT deep of a story.

I can see why the remake relied heavily on visual effects and musical scores that make film festivals all weepy-eyed. For those who were going to see it over the holidays…um, sorry but it IS VISUALLY MASTERFUL!

So what are your thoughts? Am I being too hard? Did I miss something (I DID mention I kept falling asleep)? Is there some nuance I overlooked?

Did you miss the dialogue from the book and older film? Am I the only one who thinks they could have done more with such a great cast of characters?

What are some your favorite lines of dialogue from movies, Dune or otherwise?

The post Dune, Dialogue, Wishing Sand Worms Would Kill Me appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

For my regular peeps, you probably know about my favorite hostage guest contributor, blogger Alex Limberg. Today, he shines his spotlight at some basic dialogue problems we all know in one form or another.

Dialogue is one of the most powerful tools for storytelling. Dialogue is the difference between a cast of talking heads versus characters so real they are more alive to us than even people we know. Dialogue is the engine of plot, and coolest thing is?

We can mess with the reader’s emotions more than that crush in high school. But, though it seems so simple to use? It’s far from it.

So without further ado…take it away, Alex!

***

Here is the crazy thing about dialogue: It’s just pure, blunt, in-your-face words. With dialogue, there is no filter in between your characters and the reader.

When you describe an action, a setting or what your character thinks or feels, you, the author, are in the role of the messenger. You convey what is happening to the reader with your own words. Everything the reader senses, she senses through you.

But with dialogue, it’s very different.

When in your story little Bobby asks: “What’s bigger, the world or everything?” the reader will read exactly that phrase, “What’s bigger, the world or everything?” It’s like Bobby is talking right next to your reader’s ear, and you, the wicked author, are sitting in another place far away.

That straight-on nature makes it so hard to make dialogue lines sound good (well, it’s hard to make anything sound good in fiction writing, okay, okay, but mind you, this post is about dialogue…).

With dialogue, there is no place to hide.

No dense jungle of overgrowing language to cover you.

No big, solid rock of a character to overshadow your clumsiness.

No flashy action from another direction to distract the reader.

Nothing but the reader watching your dialogue like a hawk, coming down on your soft words mercilessly with his sharp peak, ripping your writer’s confidence apart… Ok, I’m getting carried away here, but you get the picture!

Especially when you start out, your dialogue will often sound clumsy. But it doesn’t have to be. Here are four basic mistakes almost everybody makes in the beginning stages of their writing – and how to avoid them and make your dialogue sound really smooth.

Just take care of these four things, and you have come a long, long way towards interesting and real dialogue.

And because I know dialogue flaws are often hard to detect for the writer himself, you can download a free goodie here to check your dialogue. It uses test questions, and you can also use it to make all other parts of your story tight and exciting.

1. All of the Characters Sound Like You

Newbie writers often let their characters talk however the sentences pop up in their, the writer’s, head. They don’t filter the dialogue lines through the character’s unique personality. Of course, all of the figures now talk like the writer himself.

With a little practice, that’s quite easy to avoid.

Think about who your characters are, one by one: What’s his age and sex? How did she grow up? What are his values? What’s her temper? What’s his personality?

When you really get into your characters’ heads, you will see that every single one of them demands totally different talk. They all use different vocabulary, different length of sentences, different power of expression, etc…

Mild-mannered Lady Bumblebee, who grew up on a castle, might say: “Would you be so kind as to give me notice for how much longer we have to ascend this questionable mountain?” Whereas hands-on lumberjack Burt, straight out of the woods, might say: “Damn! No end to that $%&* slope!”

Avoid making all the characters talk like you do.

2. The Dialogue is Filled with Commonplaces

Nobody reads fiction to see trivial phrases. In real life, a good part of what we speak consists of salutations, compliments, good wishes and other formulas. But in fiction, that’s annoying and a bore. Can you imagine how your audience would feel reading a scene beginning like this:

“Good morning, dear!” – “Good morning, darling!” – “Did you sleep well?” – “Yes, and you?”

They would feel bored, really bored.

In screenwriting, there is a rule that says “Get into the scene at the latest possible moment and out at the earliest possible moment.” In fiction, that rule is not so strict, because fiction readers can handle a pace that’s a bit slower. But keep in mind that you should always have a reason for every sentence you write.

Superfluous words in a good story are like too much fat on a delicious steak – nobody needs it.

So what can you do?

Your first option is to just cut the formulas, nobody will miss them.

Your second option is to pack them into interesting, plot-driven dialogue, so they will seem like a natural byproduct and readers won’t notice. Take a look:

“Good morning, dear! Have you seen Georgie?”

“Oh my god, he should have been sitting on his high chair. Maybe he has sneaked outside, I’m gonna run and catch him. Good morning, darling!” [kisses him on cheek]

Avoid boring your readers with trivialities.

3. Your Characters Speak Logically, Not Emotionally

If the characters in your story always reply exactly “on point” to what the other one just said, your dialogue will feel very constructed.

In the real world, us humans talk first and foremost from our emotions. Our answers are often just emotional reactions deeply colored by our personalities; they are not precise, to the point replies.

Imagine one part of a couple asking the other one to go walk the dog. A logical reply would be something like: ”It’s your turn today, honey; I did it yesterday.”

But let’s make that character answer according to her feelings. She would say something like: “Why is it always me who has to walk the dog?” (annoyance) “Always the same old story!” (anger) or “And you want me to pick up the slippers for you too?” (with a slight grin; annoyed amusement)

You can make your dialogue vivid and realistic by letting your characters talk after their feelings, not after logic.

Avoid too “correct” and stilted dialogue.

4. Boring. Boring. Boring. Your Dialogue is Just Boring.

Even if all the characters have their unique voices, your dialogue will also have to follow its primary purpose: To entertain!

Maybe you and your characters are just reciting the program of the plot too mechanically. Maybe there are no quirks, no detours, no fun, no suspense.

How can you solve this problem and inject something interesting?

For one, make sure your characters fully show off their personalities. The more they express their thoughts and feelings, the more material you will have to insert interesting bits of “dialogue within the dialogue.”

You can keep your dialogue juicy by introducing little “side topics.” Say the scene is about a guy buying a gun. Within the dialogue between him and the shop assistant, he gets sidetracked and enthusiastically depicts his new pink whirlpool to the assistant.

Remember, small detours can be entertaining, but they have to add something, be it suspense or fun. And they have to stay small and not take over the dialogue.

Avoid dull conversation in your scene.

Wow Your Reader With Intriguing Dialogue

You can often see these four typical mistakes in dialogues. With a little practice and a watchful eye though, you will eliminate them from your writing forever and craft dialogues so thrilling and authentic, your reader will swallow them like cotton candy.

Your characters will take on a life of their own and your audience will be swept away by their struggles and will just have to keep on turning the pages.

Alex Limberg is blogging on ‘Ride the Pen’ to help you boost your fiction writing. His blog dissects famous authors (works, not bodies). Write gripping dialogue with his free ebook “44 Key Questions” to test your story (contains a to-the-point checklist to test every aspect of your story). Shakespeare is jealous. Alex has worked as a copywriter and on movies. He has lived in Vienna, Los Angeles, Madrid and Hamburg.

So what do you have to say to all of this?

Which character was the most difficult to get to talk for you so far? When your characters open their mouths, is it a pleasant experience? Do they dare to copy each other’s dialogue? Do they have the right to remain silent? Will you use anything they say or do against them in a court of law? If they can’t afford an attorney, will one be appointed to them? Do they have good breath?

I love hearing from you!

Let’s get a dialogue going… ha!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of APRIL, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly. I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel.

ANNOUNCEMENT!

Making Money with FREE is tomorrow and there is still time to sign up. Our job as authors is tougher than ever, but I have a class to help with the business side of the business. I will be teaching about the most common mistakes writers use with FREE and teach how to use FREE for advantage.

As a BONUS, my friend Jack Patterson who’s sold over 150,000 books in less then four years is going to also teach how to rock a newsletter, how to tame Amazon and all kinds of other author insights into the toughest question we have…. HOW do I sell MORE BOOKS?

All WANA classes are recorded and the recording is free. The class is easy, convenient and from home and if you miss? We gotcha covered with the recording. So I hope to see y’all there!

The post How Strong is Your Dialogue? How to Fix Common Dialogue Problems appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

So last time we talked about the basics in regards to dialogue and once we grasp the fundamentals—like proper punctuation—we then can focus more on elements of style. How we deliver the dialogue.

We can tell a lot about people by the way they speak. What people say or don’t say speaks volumes. As the writer, it is our job to understand our characters and to know who they are and how they think. We have to master the art of empathy. If we don’t, our dialogue will all sound like US talking. Writing, in many ways is a lot like method acting. We have to crawl inside the head and the psyche of our cast.

Not as easy as it might seem.

Dialogue done well is the stuff of legends though. Think of favorite movies. Why do we love them SO much? Very often…dialogue.

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Social Roles—The Broad Strokes

Whether we like it or not, most of us will fall into some kind of social category with the way we speak. The way we speak will tell others a lot about who we are, our job, our background, level of education and even where we exist socially.

Don’t believe me?

How many of you were once young and wild and free and swore you would never be like your parents? Then one day you heard, “Because I said so, that’s why” fly out of your mouth?

“Why can’t you just do it the first time?”

“I didn’t ask you if you wanted to do it.”

I am bee-bopping along and suddenly hear my mother….

“Well, Spawn, when the mind is stupid, the body suffers.”

Shoot. Me. Now.

No matter how much we try, we are helpless in the face of mimesis. But, that isn’t such a bad thing. This actually makes it easier to do what we do. Since we’ve been around moms, we know how they talk. We can emulate the lingo. We know how teenagers, grandparents, grouchy neighbors, picky librarians, and con-artist family members all talk.

Through these “roles” we gain the broad strokes of what a character should “sound” like. This will help our characters ring true in the mental ear of the reader. There is nothing wrong with having characters who fit into a tidy box. They can still be interesting and unique even in that role.

Yes, I am a mother and I say all the stuff I swore I would never say.

No is just a part of life. 

I also play XBox with Spawn and say things like, “Burst-fire! Conserve your ammo!” “You can’t kill a zombie like that!” 

Thus, even though a lot of what I say would be very prototypical “Mom Talk” there are elements of how I speak that make me unique within that subset. Not all moms shoot for sport, practice Jiu Jistu and randomly quote Monty Python. Spawn’s mom, however, DOES.

But this is is when we get into the…

Character—The Fine Strokes

Moms say things many other moms say, but each mom is unique. That is the case with most characters. If we don’t take time to really think about who each character IS, we can run the risk of a character sounding like a stock character.

Recently I read a YA and only finished it because I paid full-price. But the biggest reason I had a tough time getting into the story was that all the characters were blasé.

Each character talked like a stereotype. The broad strokes were there, but there was no nuance. Thus, I was left with a cast of characters who were utterly forgettable.

How do we get fine strokes?

Can we buy some on eBay?

This is a tough one to answer. The fine strokes can take years to master. We have to learn to be excellent listeners. We have to learn how to look beyond what people are saying. We have to become masters of empathy and we must study people. Beyond this, though, what is it that transforms a plot-puppet into a 3-D person?

I believe it is in our idiosyncrasies and our contradictions.

Idiosyncrasies 

An Idiosyncrasy is a peculiarity that is specific to one person. For instance, last time I mentioned the no-no about having every character speak in full sentences. Most of us don’t speak in full sentences so it rings untrue when everyone is using full sentences. BUT, some people DO speak in full sentences. That would be an idiosyncrasy and it’s one that is used regularly to convey highly intellectual characters—Ie. Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

A character who is foreign might not use contractions. A character who has OCD might always repeat verbs. A character who is advanced in years might never answer directly, but always answer in colorful parables.

I wrote a really funny character who constantly used malapropisms.

You just don’t cheat on your wife. When you get hitched, you promise to be faithful. You know. Monotonous.

We all have sayings and filler words that are unique to each of us. But adding these subtle details, now we have characters who are far more dimensional.

So we might have a mother who is saying all kinds of mom-like things…only she is unique because she is bad about smashing words together and speaks in hyperbole.

Eat your vegetables and don’t correct me. It’s very condensending.

Condescending.

I know what I said, Mr. Smarty Pants. Hurry up before I trade you to the Jones family for a puppy. At least the puppy would have some respect.

Add Some Layers

Remember that most humans are actually a unique blending of experience and roles. Yes, we might have a mom who is talking like a mom, but what else is she? A mom who is a Japanese violinist would probably talk differently than a mom who is a cop and grew up in Brooklyn.

Culture

Culture impacts a lot more than we might realize. I was born in Texas, but reared by a Yankee mom who is very direct and no-nonsense. I have run into all kinds of trouble with Southern women who feel I am rude. Conversely, I get short with Southern women because I am aging and don’t have time for all the niceties.

My roommate in college was from Georgia and we went round and round and round. She’d say:

Roommate: Kristen, do you think the trash needs to go out?

Me: Nah, looks good to me *keeps going*

Because her culture dictated it was more polite to hint and suggest? I missed most of what she wanted because I was always direct. If I wanted someone to take out the trash, I simply asked.

But here is an extra lesson in dialogue. Just from this example, can you see how conflict can arise simply from expectations? She believed she was asking me to take out the trash and believed that I was ignoring her. Conversely, I couldn’t figure out why she wanted an opinion on the state of our garbage so often. Why didn’t she just ask me to take it out? I would have happily obliged.

Self-Image

How does your character feel about him/herself? A low self-image might make a person a people pleaser. Maybe she is always agreeing with everyone and terrified to have her own opinion. Maybe the character talks too much, tries too hard, never asks about others.

If a character is selfish, he might brag all the time, or have to outdo everyone else in the conversation.

That’s great you caught a fish, but you were on a lake. Now go deep sea fishing. That’s real fishing. I once struggled with a fifteen foot shark for three hours….

Maybe the character is always interrupting others. Maybe the character uses profanity or quotes bible verses all the time. Or both.

Contrast

Sometimes we can use dialogue to make contrasts. Contrasts are very interesting and say a lot about our character. A great example would be Elmore Leonard’s character Boyd Crowder (refer to television series Justified). Now, Boyd fits into a broad-stroke category of a hillbilly. He has a deep southern accent, works with his hands, drives a ratty truck, wears boots, and drinks like a fish.

But what makes Boyd a fascinating character study, especially for dialogue, is he is unexpected. He is a fascinating contrast. Though he is a redneck (and plays this up for his own ends) he uses a twenty-dollar word when a ten cent one would do. He speaks very colorfully. If you ask him the time, he will tell you how to build a watch.

Not only is his speech idiosyncratic, but it is a very unique contrast. One usually doesn’t expect a hillbilly to use words most of us would have to look up in a thesaurus.

Show Don’t Tell

Dialogue is HUGE, HUGE, HUGE for Show Don’t Tell.

Instead of telling us a character is a certain way, SHOW us by how she talks and what she says.

A gossip.

“Now, for the record, I’ve never seen her drink, but she always looks so tired. My brother-in-law always looked that way because he was throwing them back in secret.”

A self-involved jerk.

“Sure, Babe. After I meet with my client, how about I meet you for that cute little college thing you’re doing. What was it again? Art history?”

Y’all get the gist. Now go have fun with it!

All of this is to say that dialogue is one of the most powerful tools for showing who a character is, who they are hiding and maybe even who they could be with a little help from us (Writer-God). Next time, we will dig a bit deeper into dialogue. Who knew there was so much to this? What are your thoughts? What other suggestions do you have for authentic-sounding dialogue?

I LOVE hearing from you!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of SEPTEMBER, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly. I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel.

August’s WINNER is lonestarjake88. Please send your 20 pages (2500 words) to kristen at wana intl dot com in a WORD document. Double-spaced and one-inch margins and CONGRATULATIONS!

For those who need help building a platform and keeping it SIMPLE, pick up a copy of my latest social media/branding book Rise of the Machines—Human Authors in a Digital World on AMAZON, iBooks, or Nook. 

lonestarjake88

The post Using Dialogue to Create Dimensional Characters appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Sorry to be away so long. Been a weird couple of weeks getting Spawn ready for the BIG K—Kindergarten. Uniforms and doctors and immunizations and vision/hearing tests (and yes, apparently he CAN hear, he is just ignoring us). I am still unaccustomed to so much quiet. For those who are curious, YES I was going to homeschool, but we found a super cool private school where he is in a class of TEN and he loves it. He was getting lonely and kept asking to go to school so he could be with other kids, so I figured we’d give it a shot. So far so good.

He is now Spawn, The Most Interesting Kid in the World….

Back to writing…

Today we are going to talk about a subject that I don’t think I have ever blogged about. Dialogue. Great dialogue is one of the most vital components of fiction. Dialogue is responsible for not only conveying the plot, but it also helps us understand the characters and get to know them, love them, hate them, whatever.

Dialogue is powerful for revealing character. This is as true in life as it is on the page. If people didn’t judge us based on how we speak, then business professionals would bother with Toastmasters, speaking coaches or vocabulary builders. I’d imagine few people who’d hire a brain surgeon who spoke like a rap musician and conversely, it would be tough to enjoy rap music made by an artist who spoke like the curator of an art museum.

Our word choices are reflective of WHO we are. Dialogue can not only show age and gender. It can elucidate level of education, profession, personality, ego, wounds, insecurity, and on and on and on.

In fact dialogue is so powerful that one way we know we have done our job as a writer is when we can remove all dialogue tags and the reader still knows which character is talking. This said, there are a LOT of newbie errors I see when it comes to writing dialogue and that’s what we are going to talk about today.

#1 Punctuate Properly

When it comes to dialogue, we need to make sure we are punctuating properly. This might seem like a picky matter, but improper dialogue punctuation is a quick way to end up in a slush pile. If a writer doesn’t yet know how to punctuate dialogue correctly, then most agents (or even readers) simply aren’t going to commit any more time. Also, if you are paying good money for an editor, they have a hard time getting to the MEAT of your story if they are spending all their time fixing disastrous punctuation.

When I get samples from new writers, I see a lot of this:

“Have a nice day” she closed the door and that was when Kristen had to spend the next few hours repairing punctuation.

“Have a nice day.” She closed the door blah blah blah….

OR

“Have a nice day,” she said. She closed the door blah blah blah…

The comma goes INSIDE the end quote mark and then we add a tag. If there is NO tag word (said, asked) then we insert a PERIOD.

DO NOT use actions as tags. Why? Because actions are actions…not tags.

“Have a nice day,” she closed the door said.

For all the neat ways dialogue is punctuated, refer to a handy dandy Strunk & White ,

#2 No Weird Dialogue Tags

This goes with the “no action tags” idea.

“I have no idea what you mean,” Kinsey snarled.

“You know exactly what I mean,” Jake laughed.

NO.

Characters can say things or ask things but they can’t smirk, snarl or laugh things. Again, when agents, editors, or even savvy readers see these strange tags, it is a red flag the author is green.

#3 Stick to Unassuming Tags

When using tags, keep it simple— said, asked, replied (maybe). Why? Well, I hate proffering rules without explanation so here goes.

Simply? When we add those creative tags on the end, we are coaching the reader. Our dialogue should be strong enough alone to convey the tone we want. When we coach the reader, we are being redundant and more than a tad insulting to the reader.

“You have some nerve showing your face,” she spat.

See what I mean? By adding the “she spat” I am essentially telling you that I worry you aren’t sharp enough to know this character is upset.

But, I am betting the dialogue alone—“You have some nerve showing your face”—was plenty for you guys to give the appropriate tone of voice in your head. I really didn’t need to add the “she spat.”

I know that keeping to simple tags seems harsh, but if we have done our job writing dialogue, the tags will disappear in the reader’s mind. The dialogue will simply flow.

Additionally, if we write using Deep POV, we don’t even need/use tags.

“I have no idea what you mean.” Kinsey refused to look at him and polished the wine glass so hard she wondered if she’d bore a hole clean through.

See how the character is DOING something that tells us the tone of the dialogue. Remember that communication is about 90% is nonverbal. Body language is a big deal.

Notice we are showing and not telling. Instead of spelling out that Kinsey is irritated, we have her DOING something that shows us she is ticked and trust the reader to fill in the blanks.

#4 Do NOT Phonetically Spell Out Accents

Yes, when we dust of old volumes of literature we see that the writers (I.e. Twain) wrote out dialogue phonetically to show the accent of the character speaking.

BUT…Herman Melville also spent over a hundred pages talking about whales for the same reasons. Most people lived and died in isolation. Travel was reserved for the very rich. Photographs and paintings were rare. There was no television, radio or Internet.

Just like Melville’s readers could live an entire lifetime without seeing the ocean (let alone a whale), Twain’s audience in Europe likely would never travel to the rural American South. Thus, they would have no concept of what a Southern accent “sounded” like. Therefore, in fiction, it was perfectly acceptable to phonetically write out how someone would have talked.

These days, if we are writing a character who has an Irish brogue or a Southern drawl or a Cockney accent, we no longer need to spell it out phonetically. The reason is that there has been so much entertainment (movies, etc.) that we know what an Irish brogue should sound like and when we “spell it out” for the reader, it makes the dialogue cumbersome.

#5 DO Feel Free to Use Unique Words, Expressions or Idioms

I write a lot of characters who are Texans. It’s true I don’t need to write out the Texas accent phonetically, but I can add in some terms and expressions to keep the reader “hearing” a Texan in her head without making my dialogue weird.

“Y’all won’t believe this. Delroy got a job. A J-O-B.”

“Who’d hire him? He’s useless as ice trays in hell. ”

Feel free to use a couple of words that convey an accent—ain’t, gonna, bloody—just avoid spelling it out in entirety or risk frustrating readers.

#6 DO NOT Have Characters Constantly Calling Each Other By NAME

I see this one a lot and it is seriously weird.

“Biff, what are you doing?” Blane asked.

“Why Blane, I am making a present for Buffy. You know how Buffy is about her birthday. What are you doing Blane? Are you having lunch with Beverly?”

Okay, so I am being a bit silly here to make a point, but how often do you call the other person by name when talking? Who does this? Worse still, who does this over and over and over, especially when there is only one other person in the room? Try this in real life.

Me: Shawn, why are you home so early? I thought you’d be at work.

Hubby: I had to run an errand, Kristen.

Me: Well, Shawn I have to run to the grocery store.

Hubby: Kristen, that is…

Okay, I am giggling too much. Y’all get the gist.

#7 Do NOT Write Dialogue in Complete Sentences

My above examples are kind of a twofer. Not only is the dialogue seriously strange with everyone using a proper name, but notice all the dialogue is in complete sentences. Most people don’t talk that way. If we do, we sound like a robot or a foreigner with a rudimentary grasp of the language.

Is it wrong to have dialogue in complete sentences? No. But usually it is ONE character who talks that way and it is an idiosyncratic trait particular to THAT character. Ie. Data from Star Trek or Sheldon from Big Bang Theory.

#8 Avoid Punctuation Props

Avoid overusing exclamation points and ellipses. Again, if our dialogue is strong enough, readers will “get” when a character is yelling or pausing. Especially avoid being redundant with the punctuation and the tags.

“Get out of my house!” she yelled.

Really? No kidding.

And remember…that…when we use…a lot….of ellipses…we are being annoying….not…….dramatic.

(And ellipses are only THREE dots and in some cases four  . Refer to Strunk & White or here is a lovely article from Grammar Girl.)

#9 NO “As You Know” Syndrome

I love David Mamet and I really love his Letter to the Writers of The Unit where he tears the writing team a new one. I love forwarding on his advice, because no one says it better and this is just as true for novels as it is for screenplays. I’ve included the best lines about dialogue:

Look at your log-lines. Any log line reading, “BOB AND SUE DISCUSS…” is NOT describing a dramatic scene.

Here are the danger signals. Anytime two characters are talking about a third, the scene is a crock of s&%$. Any time any character is saying to another “AS YOU KNOW” that is, telling another character what you—the writer—need the audience to know, the scene is a crock of s&%$*. ~David Mamet

No brain-holding. We are in the drama business, not the information business.

Later we will talk about ways that we can use dialogue to convey character. What are your thoughts? Questions? Who are your favorite authors regarding dialogue? I adore Sue Grafton. Every one of her characters just leaps off the page. I love great dialogue and have been known to highlight it just to keep it. What about you? Or am I the only dialogue geek?

I LOVE hearing from you!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of SEPTEMBER, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly. I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel.

Will announce August’s winner next time because I am still playing catch up.

For those who need help building a platform and keeping it SIMPLE, pick up a copy of my latest social media/branding book Rise of the Machines—Human Authors in a Digital World on AMAZON, iBooks, or Nook. 

The post 9 Ways to Improve Your Dialogue appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

NaNoWriMo is kind of like Christmas for writers—suffering, drama, no sleep, heavy drinking and really bad eating habits. Also, we start talking about NaNoWriMo months before it actually happens.

If you are a new writer and don’t know what NaNoWriMo is? It stands for National Novel Writing Month and it is held for the duration of November. The goal is to write 50,000 words in a month.

In a nutshell, it gives a taste of what it is like to do this writing thing as a job, because for the professional writer? Every month is NaNoWriMo, so there is NO BETTER indoctrination into this business.

NaNo shapes us from hobbyists to pros, but we need to do some preparation if we want to be successful—finish 50,000 words and actually have something that can be revised into a real novel that others might part with money to read. Genre obviously will dictate the fuel required, but today we’ll explore my favorites.

Movies

I like watching movies to strengthen my plotting muscles. Unlike novels, screenplays have very strict structure rules. Also, it takes far less time to watch a movie than read a novel, so movies can be fantastic for practice (and also our goofing off can have a practical application ) .

Study plot points. Sit with a notebook and see if you can write out each of these major points in one to three sentences.

Normal World

First of all, in recent years, Normal World has become considerably shorter. Actually, it began that way. In Oedipus Rex, the story begins with the kingdom in a real mess. There is a plague upon the land and somehow the king is at fault.

It wasn’t until centuries later that writers at large stopped trusting the audience and Normal World went on and on and on and we followed a character from birth and then about a hundred pages in? Something went amiss and we finally got to the PROBLEM.

I believe this phenomena also coincided with when writers started getting paid by the word…. *raises eyebrow*

These days? People (readers) DO NOT have that kind of patience. Normal World is often seriously condensed or even missing.

But back to the movie you are watching for practice…

If there IS a Normal World (even a brief one) can you detail it in a sentence or two?

What was the character’s life like before it was interrupted by the BBT’s (CORE ANTAGONIST’S) agenda? I will use two divergent examples—World War Z and Steel Magnolias— to make my point and hopefully not spoil the more recent of the two. As far as Steel Magnolias? Y’all have had since 1989 to see it. Tough :P.

In World War Z, we meet a guy making breakfast for his family. He’s hung up some mysterious “old bad@$$ life” in order to be with his wife and kids.

In Steel Magnolias, we meet M’Lynn taking care of all the little details of her daughter’s wedding. She’s a Hover-Mother who takes care of the broken glasses, finds the right shade of pink nail polish, and stops Dad from shooting birds out of the trees. She’s a fixer and she’s in control.

Inciting Incident

This is the first hint of the BBT’s (Big Boss Troublemaker’s) agenda, the first tangible place it intersects with the protagonist’s life and causes disruption. Can you spot it?

In World War Z, we know from watching the background TV noise when they are having breakfast that a mysterious illness has already broken out. BUT, the virus has not yet directly intersected with the protagonist. When does this happen?

Jack and his family are in the car. He and his wife are on their way to take the kids to school when all hell breaks loose. It’s the first glimpse the protagonist sees of the looming threat, but aside from escaping with his family, he’s made no vested decision to get involved.

In Steel Magnolias the Inciting Incident happens in the beauty shop when Shelby’s blood sugars drop dangerously low and she goes into convulsions. Mom tries to help and Shelby swats her away (a hint at her future defiance). This is the first time the audience has met the BBT (Death/Diabetes manifested in the proxy Shelby).

Turning Points

Look for the major turning points in the movie. According to one of my FAVORITE craft books (Story Engineering) in Act One, the protagonist is running. He or she doesn’t know where exactly the conflict is coming from or precisely what IT is. Act Two, the protagonist is a Warrior. He or she has glimpsed the face of the BBT and fights back.

For instance, in World War Z, Jack knows it’s a virus creating “zombies” and he decides to return to the old job and fight. He agrees to search for Patient Zero in hopes they can find a cure.

In Steel Magnolias, M’Lynn shifts from Running (Here’s your orange juice. Have you checked your blood sugar?) to Warrior. Her daughter defies her and decides to get pregnant even though it could (and will) cost her life. Momma puts on full battle gear, determined to “control” her daughter’s fate. Diabetes has shifted from looming “controllable” threat to a ticking time bomb Mom still believes she can defuse if she just tries hard enough.

Act Three, the protagonist shifts from Warrior to Hero.

Darkest Moment

This is right before the turning point to Act Three. This is where EVERYTHING is stripped away from the protagonist and it seems all is lost. The DM is the catalyst that shifts our protagonist from Warrior to Hero. Anyone else would give up the “fight” and go home, but not our protagonist.

In World War Z the protagonist is critically injured, he’s lost his family, outside help, and he’s faced with a crushing setback. There is no Patient Zero, at least no “clear” Patient Zero. It’s a dead end and it looks like time has just about run out for humankind.

In Steel Magnolias Shelby dies despite all of M’Lynn’s tireless efforts to control. She realizes she has no power. She never was in control and now she’s utterly lost.

Act Three/ Character Arc

How does the protagonist mentally shift over the course of the story? What was the critical flaw that would have held them back in the beginning, that would have made the protagonist “lose” if pitted against the BBT.

For Jack, he has to be willing to give up his family to save his family.

For M’Lynn, she has to admit she can’t control life or death in order to embrace the messiness of living.

How is the story problem resolved? 

Pay attention to the Big Boss Battle. How has the protagonist changed? What decisions do they make (or not make)?

What is the outcome? How is the world set “right”?

In World War Z, Jack’s sacrifice gives humanity a fighting chance. In Steele Magnolias we see little Jackson (biological grandson) running and picking up Easter eggs (there is NO mistake that this story is bookended by Easter). Resurrection through Jackson is what ultimately defeats Death. Shelby lives on through her little boy.

Beyond Plot—What Else to “Study”

Dialogue

Great movies have great dialogue. Study it. How do characters talk? When I get submissions, one of the major problems I see is in dialogue. Coaching the reader, brain-holding, and characters simply talking in ways that are unrealistic. For instance, most of us, when having a conversation, don’t sit and call each other by name.

“But, Bob, if Fifi goes base-jumping she could die.”

“Yes, Joe, but it’s Fifi’s life and if she want’s to be stuff on a rock, it’s her decision, not ours.”

“I agree, Bob, but I love Fifi.”

“Joe, then tell her. Fifi’s craving attention.”

*rolls eyes*

Details

The devil is in the details. Details are like truffle oil. A little goes a LONG way and what a flavor enhancer! We writers don’t need to be super detailed about everything (because when we emphasize everything we emphasize nothing). But, a little goes a long way for good or for bad.

Get the details correct and we will love you. Get them wrong?

*brakes screech*

I am a gun person. If your character reloads using a clip? I will toss the book across the room.

Clips go in your hair. Magazines go in your gun.

I once read a book where the protagonist was putting the safety on her revolver. O_o

Unless the protagonist is a gun collector with some weird @$$ revolver only useful for collecting? No such thing as a safety on a revolver.

Shows me the author didn’t do some basic homework. Granted, details matter more in some genres versus others. Readers of a military thriller will be far pickier than those who read a high fantasy.

I recently had a writer who had me edit her first 20 pages. The story was excellent and had to do with a soldier in Afghanistan. Problem was, there were some main details that were simply wrong that were a pretty big deal (which I fixed for her). There was also a smaller, more obscure detail. The scene was set in 2004 and her protagonist was rescuing a fellow soldier from a burning vehicle. Unfortunately, the uniforms at that time were not flame retardant (a problem the military was forced to remedy in later years).  In 2004, the fabric would have melted to him and the scene (in reality) would have played out very differently.

Granted, this detail about the uniforms is something only a military geek would likely know. But, if the writer worked that in???? Mad respect from the discerning reader.

If you need to know details, use social media. There are all kinds of military folks, law enforcement people, gun experts, history experts, medical personnel and people who do martial arts who are eager to help writers get things RIGHT. I regularly have people write me about hand-to-hand, since I practice Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

If you’re writing a military book, watch a friend play Call of Duty or Modern Warfare. Game designers use folks from Special Operations as consultants. They use DELTA Force, Green Berets, SEALS, etc for all the world-building, so why reinvent the wheel? Hollywood is notorious for getting this stuff dead WRONG, so if you want accurate military dialogue, games are better. Or, watch movies created by folks who’ve done their homework (I.e. Hurt Locker).

Setting

Movies are great for getting an idea of setting. Pay attention to the terrain and make notes. Work to be accurate.

Grossly inaccurate setting is distracting in books and film. I loved the recent mini-series Texas Rising, because DUH, I am a Texan. But the setting drove me BONKERS.

Just so y’all know, there are no Colorado-Large mountains anywhere near San Antonio.

*Kristen twitches*

So I hope all these tips will help y’all fill that muse to bursting and NaNo will be a LOT easier.

Another HUGE help for NaNo is a solid core story problem. I strongly recommend my antagonist class NEXT SATURDAY. If you’re not too strong at plotting? This class will make even the pantsiest of pantsers a master of story.

Anyway….

What are your thoughts? What are some things you do to prepare to write a novel? What movies have the best dialogue? Setting? Yes, I know I have ruined all movies for you. You will thank me later :P.

I LOVE hearing from you!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of AUGUST, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly. I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

Before we go…. It’s BACK TO SCHOOL!:

Remember! THIS SATURDAY, I am running my Hooking the Reader—Your First Five Pages. Beginnings are crucial. As a long-time editor, I can tell almost every bad habit and story flaw in five pages. I rarely need over 20. This class helps you learn to see what agents and editors see and learn how to correct most common writing mistakes. I am offering additional levels if you want me to shred your first 5 or even 20 pages.

All classes are recorded and the recording is provided FREE with purchase.

Can’t wait to see you in class and read your writing!

The post Fueling the Muse—How to Mentally Prepare for "The Novel" appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Les Edgerton

Today, is Les Edgerton’s last post in this series. We’ve been extraordinarily blessed to learn from him, so I hope y’all will give him a digital hug or round of applause. Les will soon be teaching on-line classes for WANA, so I’ll let you know when those are available.

Take it away, Les!

All of the points we’ve covered in this dialogue series are intended for one purpose only—to help writers avoid the red flags that improper dialogue can create for agents and editors… and readers.

And that’s what they are—red flags. That doesn’t mean that breaking any of these “rules” or conventions will doom your mss from being taken, but it does mean the presence of them can cast a negative light on your work. And, I imagine we all want to avoid that!

Also, there will be a great many examples of novels that break these precepts. There are many reasons for that. Contrary to popular opinion, novels don’t make it into print simply because they’re quality writing. There are many other factors at work. Factors that the writer may or may not have control over.

For instance, novels are published because the author has made a personal connection with a publisher. When an editor knows someone and likes that person, it’s not uncommon for that person’s book to be taken over another more worthy one. Happens all the time.

Or, an author may have had one or more successful novels already published and the current one may not be as good as the mss lying on the same desk as an unknown author, but the lesser quality novel will be taken. Again, happens all the time.

Sometimes, even though the novel breaks all kinds of rules, something in a novel like this may simply appeal to an individual editor. Maybe it’s the voice. Maybe it’s the setting—my first novel was taken by accident because of its setting. The Death of Tarpons had been rejected 86 times before I sent it to the University of North Texas Press.

That’s EIGHTY-SIX times!

That was in the days of snail mail submissions, where you had to pay the postage for the mss to the editor and also provide return postage. That was during a time when my family ate a lot of beans and really couldn’t afford to buy the tons of stamps I needed. I had made my mind up that once I reached 100 rejections, I would “retire” the manuscript.

What happened was that it landed on the desk of UNT’s publisher, Fran Vick. Unbeknownst to me at the time, UNT had never before published fiction. If I’d known that, I never would have sent it. Anyway, Fran’s secretary had unwrapped the day’s mail and as it by chance happened, mine was the first mss on Fran’s desk. Her normal routine when presented with a fiction mss, was for her to not even read it, but just stick a standard rejection notice in it and have her secretary send it back.

Luck was on my side!

As Fran related to me later (I’ve just revealed a happy ending and taken all the tension out of this, haven’t I!), her secretary was bringing her her morning cup of coffee and something happened where she had to remake the pot. That gave Fran an extra five minutes or so before she began her “official” day, so, for want of anything else to do, she picked up the first page of my novel and began idly to read it. If it wasn’t for her secretary’s failing to deliver her that cup of coffee, none of what happened next would have ever happened.

It’s what she read on that first page that induced her to keep reading. The novel was set in Freeport, Texas, the town I grew up in. Like most first novels, it was an autobiographical, “coming-of-age” novel (there’s a cliché for ya!). The thing is… Freeport was Fran’s hometown!

What editor can resist reading about their own hometown, especially when that town is a tiny burg like Freeport? A New York City editor, glancing at the first page of a mss and seeing it’s set in NYC isn’t going to be nearly as intrigued as an editor from Freeport, Texas reading a novel set in… Freeport, Texas!

As it turned out, Fran also knew my grandmother who was prominently on the page immediately and was instantly drawn into the story and read it all the way through, got on the phone, and offered to buy it.

So, there’s luck involved sometimes. Although, the book was well-written, so it also pays to be ready for luck when it appears. Fortune favors the prepared! The book went on to be well-reviewed and sold very well and earned a Special Mention from the Violet Crown Book Awards.

The point is, there are so many factors out of your control that can lead to or prevent publication. But, there are factors that you can control and among them are adhering to contemporary writing styles and conventions. And that is the impetus behind these precepts. To help you avoid many of the red flags that may prevent your mss from getting a fair and thorough reading.

Okay? Best of luck to all of you and your writing endeavors!

Blue skies,

Les

Les, THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH. We really appreciate you taking so much time from your packed schedule.

I love hearing from you!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of April, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

And also, winners have a limited time to claim the prize, because what’s happening is there are actually quite a few people who never claim the critique, so I never know if the spam folder ate it or to look for it and then people miss out. I will also give my corporate e-mail to insure we connect and I will only have a week to return the 20 page edit.

At the end of April I will pick a winner for the monthly prize. Good luck!

Les Edgerton is the author of HOOKED, THE RAPIST, THE BITCH and others.

The post A Final Word from Les Edgerton–Fortune Favors the Prepared appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Welcome to WANA Wednesday, based off my best-selling book, We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. This is the day I dedicate to help you guys rock it hard when it comes to social media. For the past two months, we have been discussing blogging. If you are new to the blog, I recommend going back and reading the previous lessons. It will save you a lot of time and heartbreak. I am going to assume all of you are clever enough to look to the sidebar to take you there ;).

For the past eight weeks, we have discussed blogging from almost every angle. Today we are going to discuss ways to make our blog connect with our readership. I read too many blogs that sound like the author is lecturing, ranting or having a party all to herself. Those blogs do not connect with me, and I doubt I’m alone in this. I have to admit, in the beginning, I was a lousy blogger. Make no mistake, I was an excellent writer, but blogging is more than preaching…it’s connecting. When I look at my early blogs even on this site, I see how my language, my topics and even my writing “voice” failed to connect with the reading audience.

Actually, the tactics I will show you today are so simple you are probably going to smack your forehead. So much of this is common sense, but as humans (particularly writer humans) we love to overcomplicate things. This is why I suck at True and False. Choose ONE? Can’t I write an essay? Why am I sweating? Is my shirt on backwards?

Dichotomy is my enemy. But back to blogs.

When we decide to vest ourselves in social media, it is smart for us to pull back from the gidgets and gadgets and whats-its to look at WHY people are on social media. What do they want? Information and entertainment. No, what do they really want? Connection. Noooo, what do they really, really want? Relationship. We are people, and we need connection to stay sane. We crave attention and praise, and we like to feel as if we matter. People who intrinsically understand this principle will enjoy far more success in all realms of social media, whether it is a blog, a tweet or even a status update.

Feed the real need. Relationship.

How are relationships created? With dialogue. Have you ever met someone who was witty and charming and interesting…but they never shut up (*whistles and looks away guiltily*)? They go on and on dazzling you with stories and jokes, but yet there is still something lacking. On the other hand, have you ever met someone who asked about you? Your thoughts, your opinions, and your ideas? They patiently listened and even seemed interested? We LOVE these people, but they are so rare.

Why?

I believe it has to do with fear. We feel we don’t have much to offer so we put on a good show, failing to understand that we don’t have to jump out of planes or go on safari to be interesting. All we have to do to be perceived as interesting, is to genuinely be interested.

If you go back and look at the early posts on this blog, it is easy to spot that I was very insecure. You can also see that I really wasn’t engaging with readers. How? Very few comments, but we will talk on that more in a bit.

Thus, though trial and error, I have found some ways that can make your blog feel more intimate and engaging.

Pay Attention to Your Pronouns

Throughout this blogging series I have emphasized over and over that we are serving the reader first. Our blog is a service. We must be careful how many times we use the pronouns “I” and “you.”

If our blogs are full of sentences with “I, I, I, I, I”…then we risk coming across as self-centered. We will be like that person at the party who only talks about herself. Can we use “I?” Yes, duh. We just need to do a quick sweep and make sure we don’t have a personal pronoun infestation. If we go on and on with “I, I, I, I” it makes it hard for readers to feel as if they are part of a conversation, and leaves them feeling like spectators. This isn’t entirely bad, but blogs that grow the fastest create dialogue.

“You” is another pronoun that can get us in trouble. How? Subconsciously, it places the author and the audience on opposing sides of a dividing line. One is right and one is wrong. Too many “you, you, yous” and the reader likely will feel more like she’s being lectured or chastised, and that doesn’t make for a positive experience this reader will want to repeat.

Notice in my blogs that I go out of my way to use “we,” “us,” and “ours.” Why do I do that? First of all, it is because I need to be mindful that I am not above my own advice. Also, because most of my blogs are instructional, inclusive pronouns are the best way to calm your nerves, ease your fears, and help you begin to feel as if you are part of my team…which you guys are. It is my subtle way of joining forces with you. Choosing inclusive pronouns subconsciously impresses on you (my readers) that I am on your side, and that social media is our collective endeavor…because it is!

Additionally, and perhaps most importantly, I wasn’t born knowing social media. Most self-help or instructional experts would be wise to admit openly that they weren’t always perfect. It connects us as teachers to those who desire to learn from what we have to say. We can be professional and empathetic without losing the respect of others. In fact, when we come down to a human level, it helps our audience learn faster because it peels away that layer of fear. Our audience feels as if we understand them on a far more intimate level because we have battled the same dragons.

Ask Questions

As a social media “expert” it is really easy to slip into “Know-It-All Mode” super fast. I used to feel that asking questions at the end of a blog was dangerous for a NF author, but I believe that was from my own insecurity at the time. People who are truly secure do not mind a different perspective, and, in fact, should welcome it. I grow every day from the comments posted here. Many of you have life experiences and insight that offer a totally unique perspective I might not have thought about. When readers offer comments, insights and opinions, it challenges me and makes me grow. It offers fresh content that makes my teachings more dynamic. I don’t always have to agree, but if I am confident in what I know, then a different opinion (offered respectfully) should be welcomed.

Dialogue is very important. Try to have questions at the end of all of your posts. Actively spark conversation. In fact, often I reserve information, because I like challenging you, my readers, to rise to the occasion and give your thoughts. If I cover every detail, then not only does that make my blog too long, but then no one has anything to add. What fun is that?

Look for the Common Emotional Ground

We can blog on all kinds of topics, but the ones that will resonate are the ones with a central theme. Common emotional ground builds instant rapport. For instance, I could tell some great tales of living in a refugee camp in Syria (which I did). The story would probably be interesting, but would it engage? What if I took it to another level and added a universal theme? Instead of focusing on life among the bedouin and the refugees, I could talk about the profound loneliness of living so far away from home surrounded by people I couldn’t communicate with effectively (my Arabic was less than stellar). Almost everyone can relate to being homesick or lonely or misunderstood. Now this exotic story (blog) is far more intimate, and opens a way for readers to offer their stories and, ultimately, connect.

Most of us feel a need to be heard and understood. We long for relationship and like people who care about what we have to say. As bloggers, if we will give others something more to take away than simple entertainment or information, we have the foundation for a hit blog.

What are some things I missed? What element makes you guys feel really connected to a blog or blogger? What is it about style or voice that draws you back week after week?

Happy writing!

Until next time…..

This week, I do not have a Mash Up of Awesomeness. I am in the process of doing the final edit for my new book Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer. I simply have not had enough time to read blogs like normal and collect them for you, so I hope you will forgive me. I don’t believe in posting stuff I don’t read first. Thanks for understanding. I am super-excited about this new book, and the Mash Up of Awesomeness will likely resume next Wednesday.

In the meantime, if you don’t already own a copy, my best-selling book We Are Not Alone–The Writers Guide to Social Media is recommended by literary agents and endorsed by NY Times best-selling authors. My method is free, fast, simple and leaves time to write more books.

Also, I highly recommend the Write It Forward Workshops. Learn all about plotting, how to write great characters, and even how to self-publish successfully…all from the best in the industry. I will be teaching on social media and building a brand in March. For $20 a workshop, you can change your destiny….all from the comfort of home.

The post Blogging Part 8–Connecting with the Readers appeared first on Kristen Lamb.