Self-sabotage is something most writers are likely familiar with. We just about get in the habit of working on the WIP (work in progress), and then suddenly we put everyone and everything ahead of finishing that book. Usually they’re noble causes, too. Cleaning the house, organizing the closets, alphabetizing the pets….

I work hard to make “success” books part of my morning routine when I’m doing my chores: making the coffee, making the bed, putting on any laundry, etc. One of my favorite audio books is “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. Namely because the advice is practical, doable, and aligns with my personal value system.

No shade on the “believe it enough and it will happen folks,” but there is also a degree of WORK involved in reaching any goal.

This is why we must learn to ignore the outside voices and take the helm of our own destinies.

Results Reinforce Habits

Why did I bring up “Atomic Habits?” Other than it’s a good book? There was something I read this morning that I feel needs expounding. Clear notes, correctly, that when we see evidence of our habits, that reinforces our identity.

When I declutter daily, I see my surroundings are neat and tidy. Therefore, eventually I identify as an organized person.

But what about being a writer?

Becoming a writer will likely be one of the hardest things any of us does, and for a number of reasons. Unlike eating healthy, working out, saving money, or systematically decluttering our living spaces, much of what we writers do is in the dark. There are many times we will have to press on using sheer force of will and blind faith.

We’ll have to write simply for the love of writing.

We can write millions of words, dozens of books, even publish books and I GUARANTEE you at least ONE @$$hat out there will intimate what we do is not “real.”

Whether they do this out of jealousy, misguided good intentions, or simply not thinking before they speak? Who knows? Yet, I can tell you that, after 16 years of working with all levels of writers, many of them household names? The insecurity never goes away. If anything, it gets worse.

Anything Here Familiar?

I just published a book!

Them: Yes, but you self-published.

My debut novel received almost a hundred rave reviews.

Them: Yes, Amazon really is trying to crack down on fake reviews. Are you sure they’re all real?

My book hit #1 as a best-seller.

Them: Amazon best-sellers aren’t REAL best-sellers.

My book made the NYT Best-Seller list.

Them: Everyone knows the NYT list doesn’t account for actual sales and the numbers are manipulated.

I just published my tenth novel!

Them: How nice. Amazing that Philip K. Dick wrote 44 novels and over 120 short stories. And Stephen King has written 9000 novels and 43,000 short stories.

Okay, I was being a bit silly there because I was starting to depress myself.

The point is we cannot rely on external validation. That is a formula to end up curled in the fetal position washing down raw cookie dough with tequila.

I also mention this because, we’ll self-sabotage wasting time pondering if we are “real writers” instead of WRITING!

What can happen is we’ll keep moving the goal post of what makes us a “real writer.” Eventually, we’ll give up because we set that standard SO high we crumble under the pressure.

Here are a few fun blogs to remind y’all that writers write. Plain and simple.

Diagnosing a REAL Writer: Do You Have Terminological Inexactitude Syndrome?

This is Gonna Leave a Mark: What Makes a “Real” Writer

Real Writers Don’t Self-Publish (Part One and SATIRE)

Real Writers Don’t Self-Publish (Part Two and ALSO SATIRE)

The Personal Apocalypse—When are We REAL Writers?

Self-Sabotage & Fear of Failure

I’ve been on social media since before it went mainstream in 2006, which means I’ve experienced and witnessed enough Imposter Syndrome to last many lifetimes. One of the main reasons we are SO hesitant to call ourselves a writer is precisely because of the head games mentioned above.

Critics will always find some reason to diminish what you’ve accomplished.

Most people fear failure, which is dumb because failing is the only way humans learn. How many of us would berate a toddler every time they fell learning how to walk? We learn by DOING, and we improve by FAILING.

Yet, our culture has ingrained fear of failure into our DNA. My parents never cared about the 90 questions I answered correctly, only the 10 I missed. Schools punish failure, jobs punish failure, culture punishes failure.

Want to know the one phrase that vexes me to no end? “One-hit wonder.”

Despite the FACT that many “one-hit wonder” songs have defined pop culture and even entire generations, our culture still saddles them with that term.

They were KUNG-FU fighting!

867-5309

Oh Mickey you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind.

Pass the Dutchie on the left-hand side.

Taaake ooooon meeee! Taaaaake meeeee ONNNNNNN!

Stop! Collaborate and listen!

Woot, there it is! Woot, there it is!

The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had. It’s a mad world.

What does the fox say?

Now that y’all have at least ONE of those stuck in your head, I hope I made my point. Go check out the list of one-hit wonders who, by definition, are “failures.” This is to point out the lunacy of our culture. So don’t look to it to feed your ego.

Self-Sabotage & Fear of Success

Many writers who do successfully hit a “real” best-seller list (whatever “real” might be defined as) then struggle with if they can do it again. Or will they be the dreaded…one-hit wonder?

Because if one book sold hundreds of millions of copies and redefined culture as we know it…but the author doesn’t KEEP doing that…then they failed.

Makes TOTAL sense.

Yet, we can fall into habits of self-sabotage not only because we fear we’ll fail (never finish the book, never land an agent/book deal, be published, make a list, etc.) but precisely because we are afraid we WILL accomplish these things.

What if I only have one good book in me?

I made Whatever Prestigious List, but was it a fluke? Can I do it again? What if I can’t?

This might all sound rather silly, but emotions aren’t always logical. Remember, perfect is the enemy of the great. It is also the enemy of the FINISHED. No half-finished “perfect” book ever became a runaway success, but some very much less-than-perfect ones have.

We’ve covered fear of failure and fear of success, but the one I really want to explore today is the notion of whether or not we deserve success.

I Don’t Deserve It

When we’re stuck in a culture that doesn’t value what we do, it’s easy to believe (at least subconsciously) that writing is some extra indulgence. A hobby, a guilty pleasure, something to be done after doing REAL work.

Many of us are partners or parents or are taking care of loved ones. We believe that when the laundry is done, the dishes washed, the beds made, the bills paid, the pets brushed, the curtains are washed, the ceiling is repainted…THEN we can write. As if writing is not a profession, but a treat to be doled out for good behavior.

THIS is a mindset we must change if we want to go pro. For the record, I STILL struggle with this. I have to MAKE myself get up and write first thing. All the while the siren’s song of dishes, litter boxes, email, and bills are calling me.

I’d love to say I’m always successful, but I try to keep my lying to fiction. There are many reasons this profession is TOUGH and not for everyone.

Fight for Your Right to Write

Yes, it can be a battle with others, but mostly with ourselves. Many of us have a lot of bad programming we need to overcome.

I grew up in a dysfunctional family (a.k.a. typical 80s family). Whenever I wanted something, my parents had a list of common responses:

Do you have a job?

Are you the one paying the bills?

Money doesn’t grown on trees.

Me DESIRING something was intrinsically tethered to my monetary contribution to the home (or said equivalent). Since I didn’t bring home a salary, ergo I had no right to want and did not deserve anything. I only deserved when I a) made good grades b) cleaned my room c) did my chores.

Seeing a pattern here? How many writers don’t write because their writing doesn’t make money, but their writing isn’t making money because they aren’t writing? We unwittingly self-sabotage and that self-sabotage just exacerbates the feedback loop from hell.

Been there, have the box of t-shirts.

No More Self-Sabotage: You Deserve It

We all deserve our dreams. If your dream is to be a writer, then YES, that will demand a lot of work. As in writing, rewriting, reading, studying, learning, researching, building a brand/platform, cultivating an audience, showing up day after day and putting down words no matter what.

What being a writer does NOT entail is you being a good little you and doing all your chores and “real” work before you’re allowed to go write.

If no one has yet given you permission to go write, I will.

WRITERS WRITE. Enough said.

Ultimately, we are in charge. There will always be people who will criticize, tell us why we are poseurs, fakes, fools, hacks, etc. Until we realize that all of that just goes with the territory and get to work ANYWAY, we’ll find every reason not to sit butt in chair and write.

We will revise the opening of that novel 9,763 times. Start new books while abandoning half-finished ones. We’ll believe we can’t succeed because (INSERT REASON HERE) and we’ll talk ourselves out of even trying. Ultimately, we won’t even need the outside world to work against us, because we’ll figure out a way to self-sabotage before they get the chance.

BUT, that is what happens when we are operating in auto-pilot. Now that, hopefully, we are more aware of counterproductive behaviors/ideas/attitudes, we can take action.

Think about all those one-hit wonders.

They did the work, learned to sing, play an instrument, or at least be brave enough to put themselves OUT THERE. And maybe they never made it into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, but you know what?

Don’t worry. Be happy .

What are your thoughts on self-sabotage?

Are you guilty of shooting yourself in the metaphorical foot? Do you put everyone’s needs ahead of your own? Does writing feel like some guilty indulgence instead of the meaningful profession it is? Have you struggled with the notion of what makes a “real” writer?

What have you done to overcome these issues? Do you have any suggestions or tips? Hey, I am a work in progress ALWAYS and love the feedback!

The post Self-Sabotage: I Don’t Deserve Success appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Talent is so utterly subjective. How can we know if we actually have it? Recently, I was chatting with my cousin who’s an incredible artist.

She mentioned how, no matter how many compliments or how many sales, she can’t help but feel like an imposter.

I, of course, responded that authors suffer the same malaise. Imposter syndrome is alive and well, and it doesn’t matter how many books we write, the titles we earn or how many books we sell. For a lot of us? We still can’t help but feel like a fraud.

That we don’t actually have any talent. Oh, and that any moment someone might find out we’ve fooled the world and have no talent at all.

All of this posits the eternal question…

Are there just some people who simply lack the talent to be a successful author?

Good question. Especially in the age of digital publishing, when a million plus books and climbing are published every year. Readers are drowning in the slush pile, which is a fairly clear sign of a SEVERE lack of self-awareness. Too many writers are publishing too soon, before the work is ready for market.

And, since this problem doesn’t look as if it will sort itself out any time soon, how do we handle this in the interim? When do we know we’re ready, especially if we don’t publish traditionally?

That’s a big question, so I’m going to tackle this from another, simpler, angle.

My POV?

One huge problem is that far too many people believe that a ‘clever’ idea and command of the English language is all that is required to become a novelist. Yet, that is not the case. 

Drowning in BAD Books

Plenty of readers have challenged me to write a post that might serve as some kind of a litmus test for talent, but in truth? Such a list is beyond the scope of my abilities. Why?

Because I don’t know if such a checklist exists.

Sales certainly are no indicator of talent. There are plenty of brilliant books that don’t sell or sell poorly. Then, there are other works that sell a gazillion copies and show us clearly how taste has at least fifty shades.

Some emerging writers possess all the technical skills, yet their writing is uninspired. Their stories are devoid of that certain je ne sais quoi required to elevate the writing above the mundane and tedious.

They write ‘stories’ are flat and functional, much like a DMV building. Sure, the story has the right metaphorical walls and fire escapes.

It could pass inspection, but it isn’t a place anyone would want to get lost in and never leave.

Other writers are completely lacking in the technical skills, yet even with their wobbly first tries, one can see a spark of genius there.

Does Talent Matter?

Stephen King talks about talent in Danse Macabre (and other places as well) and I really love his view on it. He says:

Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. ~Stephen King

I firmly believe that and we will get to that in a moment.

Yet, even though King is no huge fan of ‘talent’ he does admit talent is necessary. Even if it isn’t quite the panacea people might imagine.

King equates talent to a vein of gold in a mine. One has to do the hard work of digging for the ore, refining, etc. (the nasty work most people don’t want to do).

He says if you spend an hour and a half a day writing for ten years, at the end of ten years, you’ll be a pretty good writer. Just as if you spent an hour and a half a day digging, mining, and refining ore, you’d eventually have decent stockpile of gold.

Yet, spend ten years refining common earth? At the end of ten years all you’d have is common earth.

Sad to say, but…

Common Earth Writers Exist

In my experience, there is no simple way to spot a common earth writer. Most emerging writers who seem to completely lack talent actually lack something else.

Humility.

Remember at the beginning of this post, I mentioned that too many people believe this job is easy and that, in my estimation, this is the crux of the problem.

In the pre-digital paradigm, not everyone could be published.

This meant that aspiring writers who failed to do the hard stuff—read prolifically, study, practice, take classes, go to conferences, get professional editing help when needed, etc.—languished in the slush pile.

If they didn’t?

One of Two Things Happened

Either the aspiring writer finally gave up after enough rejections OR he/she was forced to take a hard and critical look at the work and improve. Write more stories, and better stories.

Creative crucibles were personal and private affairs.

The reason it used to be a really big deal to call oneself a ‘published author’ was it was a title granted only to those who’d successfully endured the gauntlet. The title was the crown of olive leaves denoting the victor.

A lowly writer had solved the labyrinth and emerged as the highly esteemed…author.

These days no such crown exists.

We authors have been demoted to comparing rankings (which can be juked) and royalty checks (which is just tacky). There are very few ways to measure ‘success’ and know honestly if we are ‘good writers.’

Which can be demoralizing in itself.

In the pre-digital paradigm, simply being published was a HUGE accomplishment. Even mere mortals had a reverent awe for published writers. Being published represented a threshold few were ever able to cross.

Even if an author only sold a handful of books, they were still a success.

Now that ‘success’ has been democratized? I’m not even sure the best writing is what makes the most money. In fact, I’m certain of it.

Pride Before the Fall

I don’t edit as much as I used to. But still, I receive writing samples so bad I wonder if the writer has ever even read a book.

It isn’t fiction, it’s self-indulgent navel-gazing.

The characters sound like little kids playing pretend. Instead of a story, there is ‘scene’ after ‘scene’ of talking, eating, shopping, dressing, drinking, or other characters talking about something or someone else.

Usually that ‘something else’ would make an interesting novel. But no, we’re forced to endure the retelling of this intriguing development second-hand through ‘characters’ flatter than copy paper.

#FlyOnWallofNothingHappening

There’s no understanding of POV (point of view), pacing, structure or even the essentials of good dialogue or basic punctuation.

Too often, the pages I receive aren’t even a novel. They’re tropes mixed with cliches slathered in purple prose.

Which, to be crystal clear…IS FINE. Give yourself permission to be NEW. We all begin somewhere and that’s why people like me exist. We love teaching new writers how to mature and become skilled authors.

And Yet…

I can almost always tell the writers who won’t make it, and oddly it has really nothing to do with the writing.

Often I get a really nasty e-mail in reply that all their friends loved it. Oh, and their writing group thought it was the best thing since kitten calendars. I’ve had people pay to take my classes, only to argue with me the entire time.

Then go blog about what an idiot I am.

It Really Isn’t All About Talent

Yet? Some of the absolute worst writing I have ever encountered was not the end. Their creators went on to be successful. Some made damn fine authors. Why? Because they were teachable. 

When I shredded their pages to the point one couldn’t even see the original text, they cried, then got over it and took my offer of help.

They were willing to spend hours on the phone with me showing them how to kill all their little darlings. These authors dove into craft books I recommended, took the classes I offered, did the exercises I assigned.

Since they took their art seriously, they slaved and wrote and rewrote and then? Voila! 

Sure, they sucked. Because they were NEW. But one day? They no longer sucked because they were no longer NEW.

I had a winner of my first 20 pages back when I first ran the contest in 2011. Oh my GOD it was bad. But I offered help as I generally do.

We spent hours on the phone and Kathy was struggling. She continued reading my blogs. She took my Hooked class, and I slayed her pages again.

And again.

Yes, y’all guessed it…again.

A Remarkable Thing About Talent

She signed up for my Hooked class back in 2017. I didn’t see her name and just read pages and they were….brilliant. I didn’t want to stop. It was a TRULY excellent submission.

Then I saw the name and almost cried I was so proud. She went on to be a multi-published author who’s doing better with every book.

Another emerging writer paid me for a full edit. The writing and story were superb until the midpoint. Then, it completely fell apart into disaster. I explained in detail how it went wrong and why and what needed fixing and offered suggestions how to make the story work.

Instead of insisting I was a moron with no taste? He listened and got to work. When he sent his repaired manuscript back to me, I immediately forwarded his final to a literary agent friend of mine.

Two days after sending in his manuscript I got a breathless e-mail from the agent that she was simply stunned by his talent. He got a contract and I received GF brownies as a ‘thank you.’

Was it Talent? Really?

Every time I have run into what might be written off as a ‘common earth’ writer, I’ve seen a person who refused to grow. They brought pages every week for critique and despite help and suggestions?

Never changed.

They refused to read books on craft because they didn’t want their writing to be ‘formulaic.’ They didn’t read fiction in or even out of their genre because ‘NYC only published crap.’

And on and on and on. They just kept recycling the same dreadful writing and once self-publishing made it possible to skip gatekeepers?

These same writers greedily snatched up the title of ‘published author’ but then griped that their crappy book wasn’t selling. And the reason it wasn’t selling? Because they ‘didn’t have the mega marketing budget of a NY published book.’

In their minds, all that was lacking was the right marketing plan, ad campaign or newsletter list. I STILL hear this complaint.

Nope, it’s the book. Not the marketing.

Back to the Mines

When it comes to varying levels of talent (or lack thereof) I think we need to return to the mines. Some mines are easy. Gold dust and small nuggets all scattered about.

Very little effort required to get at the good stuff.

We all want this kind of mine and yet it, too is imperfect. This ‘gold’ also requires refining. Also, gold scattered on the ground is no clear indication of the size of the overall vein.

Maybe this writer has ONE good book in her.

There are those of us who dig through layer after layer with only a dream. Some vague indicators of gold. If we just keep pressing, we will find it. It is there, just an SOB to reach.

Then there are those who go digging for gold and find something else entirely. They strike oil, massive veins of salt, or a giant artesian spring.

Still valuable, just not in the way planned. Some writers begin writing fiction and find they are far better bloggers or they excel at non-fiction. Some discover they are crazy good editors (more skilled at the refining process).

And lastly, there is common earth which I believe exists. These folks are almost ‘tone deaf’ when it comes to storytelling. No matter how teachable, how many classes, the writing will just never be there.

This is the person who can never quite deliver a punchline. This type of writer exists for sure, but may not be as common as we imagine.

In the End

I have no litmus test for talent, but I have a pretty good indicator for skill (and, perhaps, ‘success’). A skilled writer can hook hard, hook early and engage an audience to the degree that there is no logical place for a bookmark.

Is it possible to do this every time? No. We can’t write a book everyone will love, BUT we can write a book a lot of people love.

Beyond this….

Can we remain teachable? Are we striving to grow, to get better, to actively seek tough critics to make us grow?

Do we have rhino-skin? Can we take constructive criticism?

Are we sticking with this long enough to grow that talent? Could we possibly read more craft books or take some more classes to develop our skills further? I have a WHOLE LIST of classes below that are all affordable and you get to enjoy them from home.

Even though I’ve been working as a professional writer for almost twenty years…I STILL TAKE CLASSES. I read every craft book I can get my hands on, and I read two books a week (a fiction and a non-fiction usually).

Can we be brave enough to ask the hard questions and ready to endure the answers? Are we making the most of the editors we hire? Or are we defending and arguing? How often are we writing?

Yes take classes and read but we also need practice. Are you getting enough?

Are we humble?

To me? THAT is what separates the amateur hack from the pro, NOT necessarily skill level.

I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU!

Do you think some people lack the talent to write? That no matter how much training they are utterly tone deaf to story? Or do you believe (like I do) that it’s more often a case of rushing, of not enduring the process to go from NEW to SKILLED?

Maybe there is something in between? I love hearing your thoughts.

And to prove it and show my love, for the month of OCTOBER, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

In the meantime, treat yourself to a class! You get a FREE recording with purchase. Let us help you refine that gold! You don’t have to do this ALONE! Oh and people who take my classes get extra goodies .

The Art of Character: Writing Characters for a SERIES

OCTOBER 1st! TOMORROW! Use Binge10 for $10 off.

How do we create characters that readers will fall in love with, characters strong enough to go the distance? Find out in this THREE-HOUR class that also comes with detailed notes and a character-building template. Again, use Binge10 for $10 off.

This class dovetails with my previous class:

Bring on the Binge: How to Plot and Write a Series (ON DEMAND). Use Binge10 for $10 off.

Need some help with platform and branding?

RESCHEDULED: Spilling the TEA: Blogging for Authors

TONIGHT, September 30th. Blogging is a powerful way to build an author brand and also make a great income doing what we love…writing. Use Tea10 for $10 off.

Branding: WHEN YOUR NAME ALONE Can Sell (ON DEMAND)

Use brand10 for $10 off.

Come join all the nerdy fun! See y’all in class!

Want to meet me in person? THIS WEEK I AM IN HOUSTON, TX!

The NEXT week, I am keynoting in the Permian Basin!

The post Do Some People Lack the Talent to be a Successful Author? appeared first on Kristen Lamb.