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	<title>psychology of fear Archives - Kristen Lamb</title>
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	<title>psychology of fear Archives - Kristen Lamb</title>
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		<title>Horror: Why We Love It, Hate It &#038; NEED It</title>
		<link>https://authorkristenlamb.com/2022/10/horror-why-we-love-it-hate-it-need-it/</link>
					<comments>https://authorkristenlamb.com/2022/10/horror-why-we-love-it-hate-it-need-it/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Kristen Lamb]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Oct 2022 17:54:17 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Speculative Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[horror]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[horror genre]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kristen Lamb]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[psychology of fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[scary stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Speculative fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[what scares people]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://authorkristenlamb.com/?p=30770</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Horror appreciates that, frequently, what scares us the most, is a lot more ubiquitous than mega-tornadoes flinging Great White Sharks at the unwitting public.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/2022/10/horror-why-we-love-it-hate-it-need-it/">Horror: Why We Love It, Hate It &#038; NEED It</a> appeared first on <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com">Kristen Lamb</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-09-01-at-3.49.40-PM-1024x594.png" alt="" class="wp-image-30773" width="715" height="414" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-09-01-at-3.49.40-PM.png 1024w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-09-01-at-3.49.40-PM-300x174.png 300w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-09-01-at-3.49.40-PM-200x116.png 200w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-09-01-at-3.49.40-PM-768x445.png 768w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-09-01-at-3.49.40-PM-800x464.png 800w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-09-01-at-3.49.40-PM-690x400.png 690w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-09-01-at-3.49.40-PM-847x491.png 847w" sizes="(max-width: 715px) 100vw, 715px" /><figcaption>Image via &#8220;Blade Runner&#8221;</figcaption></figure></div>



<p>Horror, back in the day, represented some of the greatest works of literature. In my POV, it still does. Sadly, however, horror ran into a branding problem in the 70s and 80s and many began conflating slasher-hack-up-busty-coeds with horror.</p>



<p>Sure, slasher flicks are horror but not all horror are slasher flicks.</p>



<p>Horror is incredibly difficult to write well. Guts and gore might work for teenage boys, but to really be able to write something that gets under people&#8217;s skin? That makes them walk away and ask the hard questions? Fiction that allows a safe way for audiences to see and study all the ugliness in this world so they might better appreciate the good? </p>



<p>No simple task.</p>



<p>In a recent post, we delved into how <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/2022/09/guilt-how-shame-regret-guilt-shape-story/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">guilt, shame and regret are the trifecta of great stories.</a> We&#8217;ve discussed how probing the shadow sides of human nature is what can separate the mundane from the magnificent. We&#8217;ve talked about how crucial <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/2022/10/motivation-how-what-drives-us-defines-us/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">motivation can be in fiction</a> (even motivations that might not make sense to the average person). </p>



<p>Think Dahmer. </p>



<p>Just not while eating.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Horror Serves a Purpose</strong></h2>



<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter is-resized"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.29.53-PM.png"><img decoding="async" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.29.53-PM-300x184.png" alt="Horror, man in dark room staring out window" class="wp-image-22016" width="494" height="303" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.29.53-PM-300x184.png 300w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.29.53-PM-600x367.png 600w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.29.53-PM-200x122.png 200w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.29.53-PM-768x470.png 768w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.29.53-PM-800x490.png 800w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.29.53-PM-653x400.png 653w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.29.53-PM.png 934w" sizes="(max-width: 494px) 100vw, 494px" /></a></figure></div>



<p>All fiction has its place. Even horror. Some fiction is purely fun and escape and the world needs more fun and feel good.&nbsp;Certain books are simply a holodeck to get away from the mundanities of life, the overwhelming pressures of being an adult (kids, laundry, bills, car repairs). They serve as a place of rest and we all could use more of that!</p>



<p>But that isn&#8217;t all fiction.</p>



<p>Many writers (myself included) desire to go far deeper with our fiction, explore wounds and human issues, poke and prod at larger social dilemmas. We wield the narrative form like a scalpel, exposing what is necrotic or diseased so it might be removed and the patient (humanity) cured.&nbsp;</p>



<p>The worst diseases are often unseen. A person can look perfectly healthy yet be riddled with cancer, a ticking time bomb about to collapse. Horror appreciates that, frequently, what scares us the most, is a lot more ubiquitous than mega-tornadoes flinging Great White Sharks at the unwitting public.</p>



<p>It can be a government system, a religion, a medical system, a social norm we thought we could trust but if we ONLY knew the TRUTH!</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Horror and History</strong></h2>



<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-medium is-resized"><img decoding="async" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-10-19-at-12.28.45-PM-300x216.png" alt="Dracula, horror" class="wp-image-30775" width="644" height="464" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-10-19-at-12.28.45-PM-300x216.png 300w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-10-19-at-12.28.45-PM.png 1024w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-10-19-at-12.28.45-PM-200x144.png 200w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-10-19-at-12.28.45-PM-768x554.png 768w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-10-19-at-12.28.45-PM-1536x1107.png 1536w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-10-19-at-12.28.45-PM-800x577.png 800w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-10-19-at-12.28.45-PM-555x400.png 555w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Screen-Shot-2022-10-19-at-12.28.45-PM-847x611.png 847w" sizes="(max-width: 644px) 100vw, 644px" /></figure></div>



<p>I strongly recommend for any author to read Stephen King&#8217;s <em>Danse Macabre.</em> He does a really brilliant job of explaining the different kinds of horror, the tools in the author&#8217;s toolbox (shock, gore, fear). But what I loved the most was when King explained the history of horror.</p>



<p>Horror is almost always reflective of the times. It is no mere coincidence that Mary Shelley penned <em>Frankenstein</em> right at the dawn of the scientific age, when society was trading in the church pews for the laboratory. Then Bram Stoker&#8217;s <em>Dracula</em> came out during the notoriously prudish Victorian age and was a commentary (obliquely) on sex.</p>



<p>Fast forward into the 20th century and you&#8217;ll note all the alien invasion movies landed&#8212;*bada bump snare*&#8212;right about the time the Russians launched Sputnik. We can thank the nuclear age for all the giant creature features. Then <em>Invasion of the Body Snatchers</em> &#8220;coincidentally&#8221; hits theaters right around The Red Scare?<br></p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><em>They can look just like friends, family, loved ones, but NO! They&#8217;re actually invading <s>communists</s> aliens!</em> </h3>



<p>Move a bit farther into the 20th century and <em>Texas Chainsaw Massacre</em> broke ALL the horror rules. If one could make it until dawn, then SAFE! Except Vietnam was the first widely known unconventional war. The old rules no longer applied. No one was safe anywhere from anyone&#8230;night or DAY.</p>



<p>Then we get into the 70s-80s and all the movies parallel with The Satanic Panic. By the 90s, the USSR collapsed, The Wall had come down, and we (Americans) were feeling pretty good. </p>



<p>Horror then, pushed to its extreme, becomes its counterpart&#8230;comedy. Welcome the <em>Scary Movie</em> franchise. </p>



<p>***Later? Hello, <em>Sharknado!</em></p>



<p>But this brief comedic respite of the 90s was short-lived. In the aughts zombies took off right about the same time the internet and social media hit the scene. The world was smaller than it had ever been and we had genuine fear of the mob<em>. </em></p>



<p>Technology was changing faster than we could keep pace, quicker than we could appreciate the long-term ramifications. Were we part of the problem?</p>



<p><em>The Ring</em> is a great exploration into that very concept.</p>



<p>These days? Every kind of speculative fiction is up for grabs. It is a terrifying world and audiences need/crave a tangible way to face and deal with what scares them the most.</p>



<h1 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>What is Speculative Fiction?</strong></h1>



<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter is-resized"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.00.52-PM.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.00.52-PM-300x298.png" alt="Horror, creepy room with chair and writing on wall" class="wp-image-22007" width="409" height="406" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.00.52-PM-300x298.png 300w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.00.52-PM-100x100.png 100w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.00.52-PM-600x597.png 600w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.00.52-PM-150x150.png 150w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.00.52-PM-402x400.png 402w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.00.52-PM.png 694w" sizes="(max-width: 409px) 100vw, 409px" /></a></figure></div>



<p>Speculative fiction is an umbrella term&nbsp;used to describe narrative fiction with supernatural or futuristic elements. This includes but it not necessarily limited to fantasy, science fiction, horror, utopian, dystopian, alternate history, apocalyptic fiction, post-apocalyptic fiction.</p>



<p>Basically, all the weird stuff.</p>



<p>(And forgive me because today we are using seriously broad strokes.)</p>



<p>But what makes the difference between the laughable 1950s science fiction matinees and the long-forgotten pulp fiction versus the works of Philip K.Dick? What makes&nbsp;<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Road-Cormac-McCarthy/dp/0307387895" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>The Road&nbsp;</em>l</a>iterature even though it&#8217;s a post-apocalyptic novella? Why is&nbsp;<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Heart-Shaped-Box-Novel-Joe-Hill-ebook/dp/B004O0UTVM/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1500917071&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=heart+shaped+box+joe+hill" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>Heart-Shaped Box</em> </a>or <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wool-Omnibus-Kindle-Motion-Silo-ebook/dp/B0071XO8RA/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1500917096&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=Wool" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>Wool</em></a>&nbsp;so deeply disturbing and simultaneously resonant?</p>



<p>Why do star-packed big-budget films like <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1617661/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Jupiter Ascending</a>&nbsp;fizzle? Yet <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083658/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Blade Runner </a>is a science fiction staple worthy of being remade for the newest generations to enjoy?</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">Horror &amp; <strong>Plot</strong></h3>



<p>It&#8217;s easy to dismiss speculative fiction as escapist fluff and some of it is. But, when we look to the great speculative fiction, we see the authors are disguising explosive social commentary within narrative so it can be viewed and experienced behind the safety-glass/containment field of story.</p>



<p>By using story, we writers place the reader into this world then (hopefully) generate empathy that is impossible to create any other way. I&#8217;ve seen the movie<em> I, Robot</em> countless times and I bawl EVERY time during this scene.</p>



<figure class="wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-embed-handler wp-block-embed-embed-handler wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio"><div class="wp-block-embed__wrapper">
<iframe loading="lazy" title="I, Robot - Ghosts In The Machine Scene" width="847" height="476" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/A1AnRnqPFrw?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>
</div></figure>



<p>Yeah this is me&#8230;</p>



<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/screen-shot-2016-05-09-at-10-18-36-am.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="300" height="291" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/screen-shot-2016-05-09-at-10-18-36-am-300x291.png" alt="" class="wp-image-19445" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/screen-shot-2016-05-09-at-10-18-36-am-300x291.png 300w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/screen-shot-2016-05-09-at-10-18-36-am.png 458w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></a></figure></div>



<p><em>Stepford Wives&nbsp;</em>was a commentary on the women&#8217;s liberation movement.&nbsp;<em>Animal Farm</em>&nbsp;was a treatise on socialism and the dangers of groupthink. The peril that comes with handing over too much power to those who claim to have noble and benevolent intentions without asking the hard questions.</p>



<p><em>Brave New World</em> was Huxley&#8217;s stab at a culture propelled by temporary highs, unlimited choices and instant gratification while rejecting that which endured (love, family, marriage), because that which lasted required time, sacrifice and work. He showed us an eerily accurate picture of what society driven to fulfill only hedonistic pleasure could become if we were not vigilant&#8230;and is now probably rolling in his grave.</p>



<p>*Makes note to write story about Huxley haunting TikTock*</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Horror and Commentary</strong></h2>



<p><em>Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?</em> was Philip K. Dick&#8217;s commentary on artificial intelligence and just because we can play God, should we? What sort of moral implications are involved? These are issues we are now facing for real, that are no longer fiction and we are being tasked with the tough questions.</p>



<p>Is it wise to create and sell <a href="http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/sex/sex-robots-are-coming-but-theyre-bring-a-lot-of-moral-issues-with-them/news-story/f30678541b6e53683f3e93cee13c1ceb" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">sex robots that come with a &#8220;frigid&#8221; setting?</a>&nbsp;What happens when we extend the logic of this? <em>Blade Runner.</em> We get <em>Blade Runner. </em>Also a bizarre escalation/reinvention of the previously mentioned<em> Stepford Wives.</em></p>



<p>All these great science breakthroughs that float across our newsfeed are now fertile ground for new and possibly even better stories that prod the science with ethical dilemmas.</p>



<p>We show the world it&#8217;s upside down and maybe even ways to right it.</p>



<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter is-resized"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.07.24-PM.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.07.24-PM-300x200.png" alt="horror, speculative fiction, woman standing on ceiling and world reversed" class="wp-image-22012" width="597" height="398" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.07.24-PM-300x200.png 300w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.07.24-PM-600x401.png 600w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.07.24-PM-200x134.png 200w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.07.24-PM-768x513.png 768w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.07.24-PM-800x534.png 800w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.07.24-PM-599x400.png 599w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.07.24-PM-272x182.png 272w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.07.24-PM.png 937w" sizes="(max-width: 597px) 100vw, 597px" /></a></figure></div>



<p>I believe that the great speculative fiction writers have always been the conscience of culture, the voice that whispers things like, &#8220;Just because we can, doesn&#8217;t mean we should.&#8221; Or, &#8220;This really is a big deal and can go ugly really easily.&#8221;</p>



<p>Horror does a lot of that as well. Good horror writers tap into the subconscious angst and gives it a face. What happens when society is allowed to continue to devalue human life? When mobs are handed permission to call the shots? Let&#8217;s chat about this after watching&nbsp;<em>The Purge.</em></p>



<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter is-resized"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.02.11-PM.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.02.11-PM-198x300.png" alt="Horror, The Purge" class="wp-image-22008" width="333" height="506" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.02.11-PM-198x300.png 198w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.02.11-PM-264x400.png 264w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.02.11-PM.png 462w" sizes="(max-width: 333px) 100vw, 333px" /></a></figure></div>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">In Horror: <strong>To Make it BIGGER, Make it Smaller</strong></h3>



<p>When we care about everything, we care about nothing. Additionally, the human mind can&#8217;t truly grasp the loss of a billion lives. It doesn&#8217;t resonate because it can&#8217;t compute.</p>



<p>Thus the great spec-fic plots make the big small. We tell a small story of one person or a group of people as it plays out on the far larger stage.&nbsp;<em>World War Z</em> anyone?</p>



<p>This is why so many Hollywood movies about asteroids hitting the planet fizzle while&nbsp;<em>The Road</em> simply guts us.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Not All Big Stories are Big</strong></h3>



<p>Sometimes speculative fiction isn&#8217;t addressing something big, rather it dives into the intimate and deeply personal. <em>Heart-Shaped Box</em> is about a vengeful ghost out to destroy an aging rock star&nbsp;and anyone he loves. While the supernatural elements are terrifying, what is so beautiful and moving about this story is how the characters are forced to face and conquer inner demons they would have been happy to bury if not running for their lives.</p>



<p>The human story is what elevates this from a forgettable scary book into a work that prods at the deep dark places of the characters (and by extension the reader).</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Character</strong></h3>



<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter is-resized"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.03.33-PM.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.03.33-PM-300x200.png" alt="" class="wp-image-22009" width="666" height="444" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.03.33-PM-300x200.png 300w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.03.33-PM-600x400.png 600w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.03.33-PM-200x133.png 200w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.03.33-PM-768x512.png 768w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.03.33-PM-800x533.png 800w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.03.33-PM-272x182.png 272w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-24-at-1.03.33-PM.png 942w" sizes="(max-width: 666px) 100vw, 666px" /></a></figure></div>



<p>Writing speculative fiction is really tough. It has a lot in common with literary in that it can turn preachy or fall flat so easily. Too many writers get fixated on world-building, when world-building is backdrop and <strong>can never substitute for story.</strong></p>



<p>Spec-fic is tough and I swear it is the souffle of fiction. If we aren&#8217;t careful and look away one second? Yeah.</p>



<p>Plot of course matters in that we need a core story problem to drive the story, but characters are vastly important (possibly even more important). We must develop multi-dimensional characters with flaws and problems to set on this adventure because gizmos, gadgets, spaceships, magic, chainsaws, gore and ghosts alone are not a story.</p>



<p>We don&#8217;t need a bigger asteroid&#8230;we need a better story. Story is what is going to rattle the cage, not the two-ton spider. More blood or teeth won&#8217;t scare us and won&#8217;t change us.</p>



<p>In a world where we are overwhelmed with doom and gloom, where any debate on-line easily devolves into ranting, I think spec-fic is more important than ever in human history. Story is the place where the armor goes off and the heart is exposed and then able to be changed, fixed, remolded, and softened.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>What are your thoughts? </strong></h2>



<p>I love hearing from you. Do you love horror? Dystopian? Science fiction? What are your favorites? I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU! What makes spec-fic great? Or fall flat? What are your pet peeves?</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>CLASSES</strong>&nbsp;for Motivation!</h2>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>ROMANCE</strong></h3>



<p>***All classes have a $25 discount using New25. It did have a limit but since everything has been weird, I am just going to give that as a treat. The BUNDLES still work out cheaper, just for the record and all classes come with a free recording.</p>



<p>***AGAIN, check out the BUNDLES if you want more than ONE!</p>



<p><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/event-registration/?ee=114" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Baby, It’s Hot in Here! Writing High Heat Romance</a></p>



<p><strong>FRIDAY, OCTOBER 28sth (7:00 PM to 9:00 PM EST)</strong></p>



<p><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/event-registration/?ee=129" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">BUNDLE! Double Dare TWO Romance classes, ONE great price!</a></p>



<p>Includes&nbsp;<em>Bad Boys&nbsp;</em>and&nbsp;<em>Tease</em></p>



<p><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/event-registration/?ee=130">BUNDLE! Triple Threat! THREE classes, ONE great price!</a></p>



<p>Includes&nbsp;<em>Bad Boys, Tease, and High-Heat Romance</em></p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">ON DEMAND OPTIONS from ME!</h2>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">ON DEMAND: Bring on the Binge: How to Plot a Series</h3>



<p>SIGN UP<a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/event-registration/?ee=113">&nbsp;HERE</a>. Use New20 for $20 off</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">ON DEMAND:&nbsp;<strong>The Art of Character: Writing Characters for a SERIES</strong></h3>



<p>SIGN UP&nbsp;<a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/event-registration/?ee=112" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">HERE</a>&nbsp;Use New20 for $20 off</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">Spilling the Tea: Blogging for Authors ON DEMAND</h3>



<p>Sign up&nbsp;<a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/event-registration/?ee=124">HERE</a>&nbsp;and Use New25 for $25 off</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">The Dark Arts: Building Your Villain ON DEMAND</h3>



<h4 class="wp-block-heading">Sign up&nbsp;<a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/event-registration/?ee=123" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">HERE</a>&nbsp;New25 for $25 off</h4>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>World Building 101: Playing ‘Author GOD’</strong></h3>



<h4 class="wp-block-heading">Sign up&nbsp;<a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/event-registration/?ee=125" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">HERE</a>&nbsp;New25 for $25 off</h4>
<p>The post <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/2022/10/horror-why-we-love-it-hate-it-need-it/">Horror: Why We Love It, Hate It &#038; NEED It</a> appeared first on <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com">Kristen Lamb</a>.</p>
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		<title>Is Fear Driving You Forward or Dragging You Under?</title>
		<link>https://authorkristenlamb.com/2014/03/is-fear-driving-you-forward-or-dragging-you-under/</link>
					<comments>https://authorkristenlamb.com/2014/03/is-fear-driving-you-forward-or-dragging-you-under/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Kristen Lamb]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 05 Mar 2014 17:00:38 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[The Writer's Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[balancing life and writing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear of failure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to be a career author]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to handle fear of failure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kristen Lamb]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[psychology of fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rise of the Machines Human Authors in a Digital World]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WANA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing and stress]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/?p=14844</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Fear is something we have to understand and respect. It's a feeling and feelings do lie. Are feelings useful? Of course. But they can be affected by so many outside influences we are foolish to rely on them for guidance. Feelings can be affected by weather, diet, lack of exercise, a flat tire, a pile of unopened mail, stress, and on and on and on. Same thing with fear.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/2014/03/is-fear-driving-you-forward-or-dragging-you-under/">Is Fear Driving You Forward or Dragging You Under?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com">Kristen Lamb</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><div id="attachment_14861" style="width: 620px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/screen-shot-2014-03-05-at-10-28-28-am.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-14861" class="size-full wp-image-14861" alt="This GORGEOUS image via Flickr Creative Commons, courtesy of Aimannesse Photography" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/screen-shot-2014-03-05-at-10-28-28-am.png" width="620" height="620" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/screen-shot-2014-03-05-at-10-28-28-am.png 643w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/screen-shot-2014-03-05-at-10-28-28-am-300x300.png 300w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/screen-shot-2014-03-05-at-10-28-28-am-100x100.png 100w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/screen-shot-2014-03-05-at-10-28-28-am-600x601.png 600w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/screen-shot-2014-03-05-at-10-28-28-am-150x150.png 150w" sizes="(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px" /></a><p id="caption-attachment-14861" class="wp-caption-text">This GORGEOUS image via Flickr Creative Commons, courtesy of Aimannesse Photography</p></div></p>
<p>Fear is a funny thing. We all experience it. Fear can be positive. It can keep us out of danger. It can stop us from making a super dumb decision, like getting in a car with a driver who&#8217;s been drinking too much. Fear can drive us to change for the better. At the same time, fear can cripple and, in extreme cases, can be deadly (I.e. suicide). <span style="color:#0000ff;"><strong>Fear kills more dreams than failure ever has.</strong></span></p>
<p>Fear is something we have to understand and respect. It&#8217;s a feeling and feelings do lie. Are feelings useful? Of course. But they can be affected by so many outside influences we are foolish to solely rely on them for guidance. Feelings can be affected by weather, diet, lack of exercise, a flat tire, a pile of unopened mail, stress, and on and on and on. Same thing with fear.</p>
<p><strong>Fear of Heredity&#8212;Am I My Father&#8217;s Daughter?</strong></p>
<p><div id="attachment_14857" style="width: 438px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/screen-shot-2014-03-05-at-10-11-21-am.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-14857" class="size-full wp-image-14857" alt="Dad, little brother and me, circa 1979." src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/screen-shot-2014-03-05-at-10-11-21-am.png" width="438" height="483" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/screen-shot-2014-03-05-at-10-11-21-am.png 438w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/screen-shot-2014-03-05-at-10-11-21-am-272x300.png 272w" sizes="(max-width: 438px) 100vw, 438px" /></a><p id="caption-attachment-14857" class="wp-caption-text">Dad, little brother and me, circa 1979.</p></div></p>
<p>My father was genius smart. He probably had an IQ off the charts. Yet, when he passed away at the young age of 50, he was working for minimum wage repairing bicycles. Though a fun, kind and generous man, he had no friends and lived a very lonely life. The only thing he left me of value was an antique bed that wasn&#8217;t even his. It was my great-grandmother&#8217;s.</p>
<p>Shortly after the funeral, we had to clean out his home. It looked like a bad episode of <em>Hoarders. </em>When I opened the front door, I broke down crying. Not just because of my father&#8217;s sudden death. The daunting task of sorting through endless piles to see if anything could be saved was enough to make me short-circuit. Almost everything he owned was set out on a curb for the trash.</p>
<p>That was the sum of his life.</p>
<p>Though he was a prolific and talented writer, I never managed to find any of his writing in all the days sorting through mounds of clothes, gadgets, books, papers, and trash. The only work I have of his are the ones I memorized and a handful of notebooks with unfinished stories or poems.</p>
<p>In the case of my father&#8217;s passing, fear became a double-edged sword. Fear I&#8217;d end up like him was stronger than fear of failure or being mocked by others to pursue being a writer. It saddened me that someone of so much talent left nothing. He never focused, never finished, never believed in the dream enough to take it seriously. Bluntly, he did more whining than working.</p>
<p>This fear drove me to examine where he went wrong and make corrections in my character. I was a lot like him both in good ways and in bad.</p>
<p>The good? He was intelligent, generous, kind, loved to read and he was the most fun person anyone could know. Neighborhood kids who friend me on Facebook tell stories of my father dropping everything to fix their bikes because their families were to poor to replace the shot gears or the trashed tires. Thirty years later these kids (now adults) still remember my father fondly.</p>
<p>My dad&#8217;s passion for reading and writing was passed to me at a VERY young age. While other kids were reading Judy Blume, I was reading Tolkien. I was published the first time at age eight in a popular children&#8217;s magazine.</p>
<p>My father was also very humble and fun and rarely serious. It was NOT uncommon for me to come home from college only to be attacked from the bushes with a long-range high-powered water gun. Here&#8217;s this 49 year-old man who was goofy enough to ambush his daughter with a toy.</p>
<p><div id="attachment_7350" style="width: 442px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/high-school-pic-lamb.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-7350" class="size-full wp-image-7350" alt="Dad gave me fuzzy dice for my first car. Ha ha ha ha ha." src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/high-school-pic-lamb.jpg" width="442" height="301" /></a><p id="caption-attachment-7350" class="wp-caption-text">Dad gave me fuzzy dice for my first car. Ha ha ha ha ha.</p></div></p>
<p>The bad?</p>
<p>My father wanted to please his family more than he wanted to be a writer. He wilted in the face of any criticism. In wanting to please everyone, he pleased no one, including himself and the consequences were steep. He feared failure <em>so much</em> he never tried, thus sealing he would fail anyway.</p>
<p>I was doing the same thing. I was in a job I hated because &#8220;it paid great money&#8221; and had lots of perks and made my family <em>Oh so proud. </em>Let&#8217;s just ignore that I had to pull over to puke on the side of the road every day because of the stress, because I hated my job with every fiber of my being. It was a <em>fabulous</em> job…for someone else.</p>
<p>I was paralyzed by the fear of failure to the point I was willing to work a job the world believed was &#8220;acceptable.&#8221; I crumbled at any hint of criticism. I lived my life by committee and was a wreck because of it.</p>
<p><div id="attachment_8832" style="width: 434px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/screen-shot-2012-11-07-at-1-48-15-pm1.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-8832" class=" wp-image-8832 " alt="Image courtesy of Jenny Kaczorowski WANA Commons" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/screen-shot-2012-11-07-at-1-48-15-pm1.png" width="434" height="288" /></a><p id="caption-attachment-8832" class="wp-caption-text">Image courtesy of Jenny Kaczorowski WANA Commons</p></div></p>
<p>The fear of ending up like my dad served its purpose for a time. It helped me stand up to family when I decided to leave the corporate world to become an author. I studied my father&#8217;s missteps then did the opposite. Where he retreated, I plunged ahead. My father was all about escape&#8212;music, books, books, books, TV. Ignore the real world and get lost in a fantasy. He neglected his writing, his home, his dog, his life to be…elsewhere. Like the grasshopper and all play no work.</p>
<p>This drove me to become self-directed, self-motivated, disciplined…and neurotic.</p>
<p>While it&#8217;s good to examine what we fear, we risk going to the other extreme. Fear, in many ways, is like a family dog. Trained properly it can defend us and keep us from harm. Yet, if we don&#8217;t keep it leashed and make it &#8220;heel,&#8221; it will chew on our souls and pee on our dreams.</p>
<p><strong>Fear of Ourselves</strong></p>
<p><div id="attachment_10736" style="width: 277px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/screen-shot-2013-04-01-at-10-00-00-pm.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-10736" class=" wp-image-10736 " alt="Image via Frank Selmo WANA Commons" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/screen-shot-2013-04-01-at-10-00-00-pm.png" width="277" height="384" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/screen-shot-2013-04-01-at-10-00-00-pm.png 395w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/screen-shot-2013-04-01-at-10-00-00-pm-216x300.png 216w" sizes="(max-width: 277px) 100vw, 277px" /></a><p id="caption-attachment-10736" class="wp-caption-text">Image via Frank Selmo WANA Commons</p></div></p>
<p>When I examined my father&#8217;s strengths and weaknesses I witnessed my own. Yes, I was blessed with a sharp mind and talent. But, I let others have too much sway in my life. Why? The only one who&#8217;d face the consequences was ME. It&#8217;s hard to share this, but I was lazy. I believed more in luck and opportunity than hard work. My locus of focus was external. I blamed people and circumstances for where I was or wasn&#8217;t.</p>
<p><em>If I had a computer then I could write.</em></p>
<p><em>If I didn&#8217;t have to work a day job then I could finish the novel.</em></p>
<p><em>If others would take me seriously, then I&#8217;d be more &#8220;inspired.&#8221;</em></p>
<p>I relied too much on inspiration and underestimated the power of perspiration. I wanted the &#8220;Seal of Approval&#8221; from the outside world before I could do anything.</p>
<p>Lately, I have been on the opposite side of the spectrum. I&#8217;ve realized that fear has chewed through its leash and gutted my <del>couch</del> self-esteem. I can accomplish a hundred things in a day, yet have come to see I&#8217;m only noticing the ten I missed. Self-examination has shifted to self-deprecation.</p>
<p>And this <em>will happen</em>. It&#8217;s natural. But why I&#8217;m blogging about this is I want you (and even me) to be alert. Watch for the read flags that good fear has turned on us.</p>
<p>My family had the Autumn from Hell in 2013. Two family members with MAJOR surgeries. My mom had a hernia so bad they almost thought they couldn&#8217;t repair it. My sister-in-law nearly went blind and had to undergo one of the most horrific and painful surgeries anyone could endure to repair her detached retinas. My grandmother passed away. I&#8217;d just about come up for air and then something else would knock me to my knees.</p>
<p><div id="attachment_10607" style="width: 372px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/screen-shot-2013-03-26-at-6-34-31-pm.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-10607" class=" wp-image-10607 " alt="Image via Flickr Creative Commons, courtesy of Anamorphic Mike." src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/screen-shot-2013-03-26-at-6-34-31-pm.png" width="372" height="260" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/screen-shot-2013-03-26-at-6-34-31-pm.png 637w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/screen-shot-2013-03-26-at-6-34-31-pm-600x420.png 600w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/screen-shot-2013-03-26-at-6-34-31-pm-300x210.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 372px) 100vw, 372px" /></a><p id="caption-attachment-10607" class="wp-caption-text">Image via Flickr Creative Commons, courtesy of Anamorphic Mike.</p></div></p>
<p>At the beginning of the year, we thought we&#8217;d be able to recuperate. <em>Ha ha ha ha ha ha. </em>The big trucks where my husband works all went down <em>at the same time</em>. No trucks? The company goes under and the company has only one mechanic.</p>
<p>My husband is trained in diesel engines. He&#8217;s worked 60-70 hours a week for the past month with one day off, meaning I&#8217;ve had <em>one day off. </em>Since Hubby&#8217;s gone most of the time, I do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping on top of running a business and writing…with virtually NO break from The Spawn.</p>
<p>To add a new layer of difficulty the washer died. Hubby can repair it, but he doesn&#8217;t have time. This has left me lugging loads and loads of laundry to a nearby laundromat. Also, a few days ago, my other grandmother was rushed to the hospital with a life-threatening and unknown infection. The stress has been crushing (part of why I added in vigorous exercise).</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve been working my tail off. Any time I sit down for five minutes, I hear the voices. <em>You&#8217;re just not trying hard enough. That ten minutes you sat down? You could have been cleaning, working, writing, coming up with a cure for cancer.</em></p>
<p>I recognize that one of my early character flaws was laziness. But in the past couple days, I&#8217;ve come to recognize that I&#8217;m teetering on the other extreme. It&#8217;s great to be a hard worker, to be disciplined. But rest and play are vital to maintain balance, mental health and joy.</p>
<p><strong>Fear Will Drag Us To Extremes If We Permit It</strong></p>
<p><div id="attachment_14863" style="width: 434px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/screen-shot-2014-03-05-at-10-35-41-am.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-14863" class=" wp-image-14863 " alt="Image via Flickr Creative Commons, courtesy of FromSandToGlass" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/screen-shot-2014-03-05-at-10-35-41-am.png" width="434" height="324" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/screen-shot-2014-03-05-at-10-35-41-am.png 667w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/screen-shot-2014-03-05-at-10-35-41-am-600x449.png 600w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/screen-shot-2014-03-05-at-10-35-41-am-300x224.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 434px) 100vw, 434px" /></a><p id="caption-attachment-14863" class="wp-caption-text">Image via Flickr Creative Commons, courtesy of FromSandToGlass</p></div></p>
<p>Fear is a riptide. Swim with it or allow it to drag us under. I can be so afraid of being lazy I become a workaholic. So afraid of being irresponsible I become over-responsible and even controlling. Fear can drive kids of obese parents to eating disorders, children of abusive parents to being far too permissive, offspring of broke parents to be obsessed with accumulation of money and on and on.</p>
<p>The trick is to face what we fear and see it for what it IS. Almost all of us fear failure, but <strong>failure is the tuition we pay for success.</strong> We can fear criticism, but criticism is a fact of life. Fear of criticism can lead to perfectionism or passivity. Conversely, criticism can help us toughen up or even become stronger, better or more resolved.</p>
<p>What&#8217;s the answer? First, be self-aware. Many of us bee-bop through life going through the motions without inspecting the <em>why behind our choices. </em>This is dangerous. Fear is both good and bad. What changes the nature of fear is <strong>how we are using it.</strong> Are we using fear to be proactive or are we being reactive? When we&#8217;re proactive, we&#8217;re acknowledging fear and taking positive steps. We hold the leash. When we are <em>reactive</em>? Fear has a leash on <em>us</em>.</p>
<p>Fear is a feeling, which means it <em>can lie</em>. F.E.A.R. can be False Evidence Appearing Real. Evidence requires examination. Do we hold onto it or dismiss it? I feared ending up like my dad. That I would value pleasing others so much I&#8217;d live an empty life.</p>
<p>We <em>cannot </em>live the dreams of others and be fulfilled. This was <em>positive </em>fear. The evidence of my father&#8217;s choices <em>showed </em>me the truth of what happens to someone too afraid to fail. That <em>evidence </em>was real and worth holding onto. I also had to examine what he did <em>right</em> and grab hold.</p>
<p><div id="attachment_9965" style="width: 325px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/pajama.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-9965" class=" wp-image-9965 " alt="WHAT??? Yes, I am an adult. Most of the time. " src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/pajama.jpg" width="325" height="462" /></a><p id="caption-attachment-9965" class="wp-caption-text">WHAT??? Yes, I am an adult. Most of the time.</p></div></p>
<p>Unexamined fear can become The Hamster Wheel of Doom. The HWOD tells me I suck because I&#8217;m not a fitness model with an immaculate Martha-Stewart-decorated-home, twenty best-selling books, a mansion and I&#8217;ve <em>failed </em>to travel to Africa twice a year to feed the starving children.</p>
<p>That&#8217;s <em>false fear. </em></p>
<p><div id="attachment_11716" style="width: 496px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/hamster.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-11716" class=" wp-image-11716 " alt="&quot;Meet Spiffy the Hamster.&quot; He's DEAD. Original image via Dan Derritt Flikr Creative Commons" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/hamster.jpg" width="496" height="326" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/hamster.jpg 776w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/hamster-600x395.jpg 600w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/hamster-300x198.jpg 300w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/hamster-768x506.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 496px) 100vw, 496px" /></a><p id="caption-attachment-11716" class="wp-caption-text">&#8220;Meet Spiffy the Hamster.&#8221; He&#8217;s DEAD.<br />Original image via Dan Derritt Flikr Creative Commons</p></div></p>
<p>If I asked any of you right now to take out a piece of paper and write down all that&#8217;s wrong with you, I&#8217;d wager most would have twenty pages. But what if I asked what&#8217;s <em>right</em> with you? Bet you&#8217;re stumped, too.</p>
<p>We all struggle. Struggle can be good. Resistance is what makes us grow. But if we only focus on what&#8217;s wrong with us, we&#8217;ll just get more. We are what we focus on.</p>
<p>In racing, part of how they train drivers to win is teaching the driver <em>to acknowledge the wall, but never look at it.</em> The car goes where the driver looks. Look at the wall and you&#8217;ll hit the wall. Focus on the finish line.</p>
<p>All of us have our &#8220;wall.&#8221; Mine is laziness, people-pleasing, blind loyalty, procrastination, and I could list even more. I recognize them. I respect them. But I must focus on the positive. I am also disciplined, kind, generous and passionate and these qualities deserve my attention. If we focus enough on developing the positive, it will eventually crowd out the negative.</p>
<p>We also must learn to focus on the realistic. I am human. It&#8217;s okay to take a nap, play some video games, or read a book. There will always be more laundry, more dishes. But at the end of my days will I remember the clean dishes or the hour I spent running through the house with The Spawn with NERF guns &#8220;hunting zombies&#8221;? I can focus on the negative legacy my father left, but that might cost me the <em>positive legacy</em> he gave me.</p>
<p>I will never be too old to enjoy a bounce house.</p>
<p><div id="attachment_8036" style="width: 496px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/screen-shot-2012-08-15-at-9-45-37-am.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-8036" class=" wp-image-8036 " alt="I rented a bounce house for the WANAs in LA. Writing is a &quot;serious&quot; business after all." src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/screen-shot-2012-08-15-at-9-45-37-am.png" width="496" height="391" /></a><p id="caption-attachment-8036" class="wp-caption-text">I rented a bounce house for the WANAs in LA. Writing is a &#8220;serious&#8221; business after all.</p></div></p>
<p>What are your thoughts? Who has the leash? You or your fears? Do you find yourself being reactive? Too hard on yourself? Do you struggle to list what&#8217;s good about who you are? Is it hard to have fun? Do you feel guilty for rest? Is it tough to cut yourself slack? Do you find yourself maybe going to extremes because you fear being like a parent or other adult influence? Or maybe you&#8217;ve made positive changes and you&#8217;re afraid if you take one day off you&#8217;ll slip back into what you worked so hard to change?</p>
<p>I LOVE hearing from you!</p>
<p>To prove it and show my love, for the month of March, <strong>everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. </strong>What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly. <strong>I will pick a winner <em>once a month</em> and it will be a critique of <strong>the first 20 pages of your novel</strong>, <strong>or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less)</strong></strong><strong>. </strong></p>
<p>For a LONG-TERM plan for a fit, healthy platform, please check out my latest book <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Rise-Machines-Human-Authors-Digital-ebook/dp/B00DP7II4A/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top" target="_blank">Rise of the Machines–Human Authors in a Digital World</a>. </em></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/2014/03/is-fear-driving-you-forward-or-dragging-you-under/">Is Fear Driving You Forward or Dragging You Under?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com">Kristen Lamb</a>.</p>
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