Dune…desert planet…no dialogue. Before we plunge ahead in our ‘sit-still’ suits, I promise to work very hard to avoid any ‘spoiler alerts.’ Though, in my defense, this story has been around since disco was cool.

Also, feel free to disagree with my opinion, just please do so politely. Videophiles and cinephiles will LOVE this movie. For the record, I am not arguing about the breathtaking cinematic beauty of the movie. That was spot on.

…it’s just the rest I’ll pick to pieces.

Why am I taking the time to critique the remake of Dune? Other than the obvious answer that there are a TON of amazing stories out there that Hollywood hasn’t already remade?

It has to do with one of the key fundamentals of the writing CRAFT—dialogue. Dialogue is more than talking, and when writers fail to appreciate that, we end up with forgettable books, plays and yes, movies.

Today I am not going to deep-dive all the ins and outs of dialogue, but I will use the rerelease of Dune to show—NOT TELL—why dialogue is critical for excellent storytelling. We’ll cover some essential points about dialogue, then I’ll cross-apply this to why Dune 2021 left me more than a little underwhelmed.

Dialogue Makes Stories Iconic

I feel I am uniquely qualified to critique the new Dune because a) I am a hopeless nerd b) I have read the unabridged books so many times it is no mystery I was single until age 35, and c) I’ve watched the original movie so many times I know every line by heart.

Dialogue is one of the key factors that can elevate a story to a legend.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Leave the gun, take the cannoli.

T’is a flesh wound.

Son, your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash.

That’s my stapler.

Winter is coming.

I worked hard to give numerous examples. The first is from Charles Dickens’, A Tale of Two Cities, a book long enough to brain a burglar. Most people recognize this quote, even though I would venture to say that, though they know the quote, they’ve never read the book.

I haven’t.

This one quote has lived on and is used in conversation, movies, etc. You might be yelling at me right now and saying, “But Kristen! That isn’t dialogue, that is narration.”

And that would be traditional thought. But, according to Robert McKee’s GENIUS book, Dialogue: The Art of Verbal Action for the Stage, Page, and Screen narration is dialogue and he explains why on page 3. We’ll also talk about this more in another post.

How many books, series or movies do we quote without even thinking? Lines that have woven themselves inextricably into our culture and even become part of our cultural lexicon? Dialogue is LIFE.

We KNOW Our People Because of Dialogue

The spice must flow…

Klatu…berata…nickle? Necktie?

Dear eight-pound, six-ounce, newborn Baby Jesus.

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

That’s my spot.

How many of us quote lines from books or movies we’ve not even read or seen?

I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.

I have never SEEN The Godfather. Don’t shout me down, I’m just not a huge fan of gangster films. But that has NOT stopped me from pillaging these movies like a crow for shiny bits of dialogue.

Don’t judge me. Y’all are guilty, too.

The point is, I will grant you that Dune 2021 is visually masterful, but when was the last time you shared a meme of something ‘visually masterful?’ Quoted…um, visual mastery? Memed visual mastery?

The point is, without solid story and DIALOGUE we all just sound like a bunch of Sundance geeks or pretentious film students.

“MASTERFUL!”

Me: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

Ultimately? Dialogue has tremendous power and resonance.

Verbal vs. Visual

This could be a symptom of me being an old curmudgeon, but I don’t think so. When it comes to the screen, I feel CGI was one of the worst things that could have happened to screenwriting.

When computers can create everything a writer ever imagined and more, this—more often than not—leads to lazy writing.

…and Jar Jar Binks.

So now, we’ll circle back to Dune 2021. Yes, I will admit that part of Dune’s appeal has always been the utterly fantastical world. Vast deserts, sand worms larger than the human mind can conceive, futuristic weapons, folding space, etc.

If you want a ‘visually stunning’ experience, then the remake is for you. Frankly, I kept falling asleep then startling awake wondering how the hell Melancholia ended up in the desert.

The special effects are almost sensory overload, and they did a beautiful job bringing this science fiction world to life.

Problem was, I went to the movie for the STORY of Dune as well. If I only wanted to be visually wowed to symphonic music? Um, I’ve already been to the Van Gogh immersive experience in Dallas.

The book, as well as the original movie, have SO MANY quotable lines, which, aside from being memorable, served a very important purpose.

Dialogue and Subtext

Yes, I saw the movie when Toto was still cool. Yet, even as an elementary school kid (yes, I am OLD) who had yet to read the book, I could understand there were so many more layers below the surface.

I can appreciate that the 2021 version was working to differentiate itself from the 1984 version, but there were a number of decisions I found rather perplexing.

First of all, the movie refers to a LOT of information/trivia that ONLY THOSE WHO HAVE READ THE BOOK would even remotely get. This is an almost 900 page book that weighs over a POUND.

For geeks like me who are in the know? Then the painting of the old duke and the bull and the subtle references to plant life make sense. To everyone else? That painting means NOTHING, and everyone else is going to have to wait for the second movie to know WTH the plants are about.

Since they fixated SO MUCH on the visual, there is actually very little talking. And, for the record, a lot of that ‘talking’ was pretty important for a number of reasons.

This is a Test

For instance, in the beginning when the Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam of the Bene Gesserit comes to test Paul Atreides, there is a subtle difference between the two movies.

Paul overhears the Reverend Mother chastising Jessica for having a son, but in the earlier movie (and the book) she makes a proclamation, “For the father…nothing.”

To which Paul freaks out and demands to know why RM is talking about his father as if he’s already dead. This not only foreshadows what is to come, but it SHOWS Paul is still a boy. He’s emotional and reckless with his words. He also has zero clue who he’s talking to and why yelling at this old woman might get him Vader-choked.

Paul has not yet evolved from boy to man, let alone from heir to ruler…let alone into a messiah.

Dialogue and Stating the Obvious

The beauty of the book as well as the original Dune is the notion that a potential messiah was coming. When the RM arrives, she chastises Jessica for daring to believe she could birth the Hooked-On-Phonics-Worked-for-Me Quizat Haderach.

We don’t know what this QH is, other than some sort of super being. OH-KAY. Remember how I preach, and preach and preach about how superlative storytellers excel at being amazing secret keepers?

Yeah, well Dune 2021 just tossed that concept out the window more times than I could count. Because apparently audiences sophisticated enough to keep up with Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Deadwood, Battlestar Galactica, Downtown Abbey and more…need everything written out for them with Crayons lest we get lost.

Granted, in the book, this is different, but Frank Herbert had like 750 pages more to work with.

When it comes to movies? Save a little for later, okay? Tantalize us. We like to be woooooed.

Case in point. These snippets of dialogue are from the BEGINNING of the movie *Kristen rails at the heavens*

Gaius Helen Mohiam : You’ve proven you can rule yourself. Now you must learn to rule others, something none of your ancestors learnt.

Paul Atreides : My father rules an entire planet.

Gaius Helen Mohiam : He’s losing it.

Paul Atreides : He’s getting a richer one.

Gaius Helen Mohiam : He’ll lose that one too.

I don’t even have to put in any spoiler alerts. THE Reverend Mother Mohiam does it FOR ME!!!

Or how about this?

Paul Atreides : There’s something happening to me. Something waking up in my mind. I can’t control it.

Gaius Helen Mohiam : What did you see?

Paul Atreides : There’s a crusade coming.

WHY DO WE EVEN NEED THE MOVIE?

AND THIS is actually a line! Literally NOT joking.

Gaius Helen Mohiam : Arrakis is a death trap.

Thank you, oh Great Stater of the Obvious! Where is a sand worm to crush me when I need one?

For the record, for a movie that cut out SO MUCH DIALOGUE? This is NOT how one uses the remaining dialogue.

Part of the reason screenwriting is SO DIFFICULT is it is CRAZY how much you have to jam into a handful of lines without spoon-feeding the audience like they’re braindead.

Short of the Reverend Mother Mohiam or Paul pulling out a Flannel-Graph or a Power Point, they’ve basically spelled everything out in case our teensy-tiny brains couldn’t keep up.

In the book as well as the 1984 movie, we know House Atreides is walking onto a trap, but the story uses the dialogue from other characters to add suspense: voices of warning (Yep, it’s a trap), voices of uncertainty (You sure they’d be so obvious?), and voices of pride (Who cares if it’s a trap? We can outsmart them).

Most of the critical information was delivered to the audience in subtext and vague references that one would NOT fully understand unless one watched the full movie or read the entire book.

Yes, Paul has visions but they make no sense until later. His visions are disjointed and lack context…until he evolves from boy to man to taking The Water of Life (test).

It isn’t until he survives the test, proves he is ‘potentially’ the Quizat Haderach that the visions fall into place in any coherent manner.

The visions serve as foreshadowing, they don’t spell out the entire PLOT OF THE MOVIE.

Also, just because Paul survived The Water of Life did not automatically mean he really WAS the Quizat Haderach. He still had to prove himself in Act Three as liberator, crusader, leader and, ultimately…messiah.

How do we know this? DIALOGUE!

At the end (mini-spoiler alert), Paul’s sister Alia proclaims, “And how can this be? For he IS the Quizat Haderach!”

The only reason she’d need to announce this is if, up until such point in the story, the idea her brother was the Quizat Haderach was somehow in question.

But for the 2021 crowd, I guess that is coming in the second movie.

…hopefully.

Dialogue and Character

We can tell a lot about a character’s arc from dialogue, as I noted above. But, with the new Kylo Ren Paul Atreides, he’s completely flat.

In the book and earlier movie, Paul had super abilities as well, partially from his mother’s training. Yes, he passed the test with The Box, he knew instinctively how to wear his still-suit desert-fashion, he had visions…but always with heavy dose of immaturity and childlike astonishment.

It’s only later that Paul remotely evolves into the stoic leader that the remake hands us almost from the outset.

There’s a crusade coming *Resting Paul Face*

Good to know!

What really saddened me about them removing SO MUCH dialogue from the movie is that—pay attention writers—dialogue is what adds dimension to characters.

In the new Dune? They did very little with the characters. I was actually shocked they’d made such a big deal about Jason Momoa being in the new movie since he has like three lines and is barely present.

Same but Different

Before anyone gets too upset, I agree, the new Dune is *mumbles* visually breathtaking. In fact, over the holiday, knock ourself out. Go to an IMax theater for the full visual and symphonic experience.

But, I’m talking about story today.

In the remake—due to plain awful or missing dialogue—most of the characters were interchangeable and had the depth of an Instamodel Real Housewife.

This did NOT have to be the case.

I was very pleased to see references from the book (as I mentioned above), and TRUST ME. There was MORE than enough dialogue the new screenwriters could have taken from the book so as not to copy the old movie.

ALMOST 900 PAGES WORTH!

As for the movie, I loved how they reimagined the Baron Vladmir Harkonnen. In the 1984 movie, they couldn’t get into nuance and so they made up for it with shock value.

Conversely, in the 2021 version, the Baron is MUCH more like the political shark he’s portrayed to be in the book.

I also LOVED how they reimagined Dr. Lyet Kines…except then they practically did NOTHING with her. Sadly, many characters who could have been SO MUCH MORE…fizzled or disappeared.

Here’s hoping for Part Two, though not holding my breath.

And if you want a laugh, Honest Trailers apparently thought a lot of the same things I did (it’s PG-13 so you know)…

What Are Your Thoughts?

Oh, I am bracing for it. I KNOW IT WAS VISUALLY MASTERFUL! That’s already been stated for the record. I’d hoped it wouldn’t simply be a retread of the 1984 film, but—since we’re referencing the 80s—where’s the BEEF?

In my POV, if they were going to retell Dune it should have been done in a long series like Game of Thrones. It is just THAT deep of a story.

I can see why the remake relied heavily on visual effects and musical scores that make film festivals all weepy-eyed. For those who were going to see it over the holidays…um, sorry but it IS VISUALLY MASTERFUL!

So what are your thoughts? Am I being too hard? Did I miss something (I DID mention I kept falling asleep)? Is there some nuance I overlooked?

Did you miss the dialogue from the book and older film? Am I the only one who thinks they could have done more with such a great cast of characters?

What are some your favorite lines of dialogue from movies, Dune or otherwise?

The post Dune, Dialogue, Wishing Sand Worms Would Kill Me appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

The Silence, for those who don’t know, is an Amazon Original movie. I guess ‘original’ is one descriptor, though I can think of a lot more accurate ones. ‘Rage-inducing,’ ‘insult to horror movies,’ ‘bad knock-off,’ and ‘intellectually insulting’ are a few that immediately come to mind.

First of all, for the newbies, there are no new stories. To be blunt, virtually every ‘new’ story is derivative in some way and needs to be. Trust me. When I was a beginner, I believed I had to craft ‘the story never told before.’ Not only is that a literary Sasquatch, but even if we’re by some slim chance successful?

The story won’t sell.

We want to be able to pitch an idea and say, “Well, if you like X, then you’ll LOVE my story.” This is why places like Amazon have those auto-populated suggestions that tell us what people who enjoyed X Book or X Movie ALSO liked.

Fans tend to be parochial, which is great for sales, btw.

But there is a HUGE difference between a movie that uses elements of similar idea and a ham-fisted attempt to glory grab off the success of another.

Same-but-Different SELLS

The Silence movie might have been able to capitalize on this same-but-different advantage, but failed miserably. The movie began as a novel by the same title, The Silence by Tim Lebbon.

***For the record, I had NO idea The Silence was originally a novel until I began writing this rant post…which was why I delayed publishing this blog. I wanted to read the novel for myself to affirm my suspicions/opinion that the producers and screenwriters should all be flayed fired.

Oddly, this is one of those rare times I read the novel after seeing the ‘movie.’ It was a riveting book, layered, emotional, and incredibly well-written with memorable/dimensional characters. But as a screenplay?

*sobs uncontrollably*

Not every premise translates well to the visual medium unless the screenwriters are willing to make some major changes that keep the original premise in tact. What peeves me the most is this.

Had the screenwriters simply adhered to some storytelling fundamentals, they could have easily maneuvered The Silence off the page and onto the screen while also keeping the story’s core brilliance in tact.

*rails at heavens*

The Silence Movie as Bad Knock-Off

To understand why I was so peeved, what exactly was Amazon trying to copy?

Badly.

In my opinion? Bird Box. Josh Malerman’s Bird Box wasn’t just a beautifully written and utterly terrifying book, but the story concept translated extremely well to screen and was a massively successful film.

The screenwriters didn’t stick to the book exactly, because that’s impossible to do in the comparably short time a feature film affords. But they did condense and refit what needed to change in order to maximize the story on screen.

In Bird Box, ‘something’ starts happening. We don’t know what it is, only that people see SOMETHING that then causes them to go violently insane. The phenomena quickly spreads across the globe.

The day chaos hits home, the main character, the VERY pregnant Malorie, is with her sister getting an ultrasound. While leaving the hospital, everything hits the fan, and Malorie has no choice but to take refuge in a house full of total strangers who become her lifeline.

Malorie must survive in a world where vision (our single most relied upon sense) could be a death sentence for her as well as anyone around her.

Over the course of the story, Malorie remains pinned in a house with a host of exceptionally layered characters who regularly clash. Their personalities alone create so much tension you think you might shatter any moment. This was executed superbly in the book (which is almost always better) but ALSO in the movie (which is rare).

THAT is great horror writing. For the record, slasher movies are to horror what porn is to epic romance. Believe it or not, horror is one of the toughest genres to write well and as close to literary fiction as one can get (when done properly).

Horror is less about the monsters/threat, and more about how we—humans—respond and the ways we change for good and bad because of the monsters/threat.

In the Bird Box world, stress is heaped upon stress. Going outside could risk everyone’s lives. Yet, they must go outside to get supplies, fresh water, etc. and do all of this completely blinded.

Add in that not everyone in the group agrees on the nature or level of the danger? That supplies are running low and they can’t remain in the house forever?

Welcome to a cauldron simply waiting to boil over.

The Silence Meets the Bright Idea Fairy

Now that I’ve explained a bit about Bird Box, the only plausible explanation I have for The Silence (movie) is Amazon was miffed by Netflix’s success with Bird Box. They probably sent some intern to hunt for a similar book that focused on one of the other five senses turned horribly wrong…and said intern found Lebbon’s The Silence.

The tricky part about horror—as I’ve already mentioned—is that a lot of the best stories only work on the page. Actually a lot of fiction doesn’t translate well to screen.

Drama is a good example. Unless you have superlative screenwriters and Oscar-caliber actors? You’re likely in for a three-hour snooze-fest where all the characters seem absurdly emo or perpetually constipated.

But back to horror…

On the page, the reader is in the heads of the characters. You can hide a lot of information and make the reader feel emotions, inner turmoils, and the ever-ratcheting tension. It’s also easier to misdirect, obfuscate, and give only enough detail for the readers’ imaginations to fill in the blanks.

And the human imagination is always more terrifying.

Before I proceed? HUGE HIGH FIVE to Tim Lebbon for scoring a movie deal off his novel.

My advice? Skip the movie and read the book…unless you want to see what all I am about to gripe about for yourself.

Tim, I am so sorry for what they did to your lovely novel, but hoping you make tons of money and zillions of new fans, regardless.

That aside…

Like always, everything here is merely my opinion, so take with a grain of salt…and maybe add in a shot of tequila.

What We Don’t Know Will Kill Us…in Scarier Ways

The first MAJOR problem for me, regarding The Silence movie, was they gave away too much too soon. I read the book to see how this was handled in comparison to the movie.

As I suspected, Lebbon didn’t provide a lot of detail about the creatures (known as Vesps), how they’re able to so rapidly overwhelm entire countries, how they hunted (sound), and why they’re virtually indestructible until almost halfway into the book…thus confirming my suspicions that the screenwriters are to blame!

O_o

Revealing too much too soon was the first, and maybe one of the largest mistakes, the moviemakers did with The Silence.

***This is also a rookie writing mistake. Learn to be SECRET-KEEPERS!

In The Silence movie, we (the audience) see a team of cavers break into a cavern and unleash a flood of vicious primordial creatures. Creatures that have been trapped in a world of silent darkness for a gazillion years in a completely isolated ecosystem. Not too far into the movie, we SEE the creatures up close.

Bad move.

The screenwriters could have had a flurry of something escaping, something hunting and kept the characters (and viewers) in the dark about how to evade being Vesp food for as long as possible (BE QUIET). But the moment we saw what humanity was up against? Knew how to outmaneuver it?

Meh.

Okay, so giant blind pterodactyls dumb enough to swarm into a wood chipper because it makes noise. We can deal with that.

Yes, this really happened in the movie. What ALSO happened? The dad DIDN’T LEAVE THE FRIGGIN’ WOOD CHIPPER ON UNTIL HE’D KILLED AS MANY VESPS THAT WERE STUPID ENOUGH TO FLY INTO IT!

What made Bird Box, the book and movie, so scary is we never knew precisely WHAT was making people go violently insane. We never even knew if it had evil intentions.

Maybe it was an alien race that, when viewed, simply surpassed the ceiling of human comprehension and broke our brains. Perhaps it was a military experiment gone awry. Maybe it was a spray tanning product gone terribly wrong.

Part of the fear factor is no one knew, and there was no way TO know.

In Bird Box, even watching video of the ‘whatever’ created the same effect. Suffice to say that sometimes our audience might want to know certain information, but just because they want it, doesn’t mean we should give it.

Pick a Villain from the Get-Go

I’ve done a lot of blogs and teaching about log-lines over the years. It doesn’t take a lot of imagination to realize this movie is going to SUUUUCK by simply glancing at the log-line…which, again, I only did afterwards.

*hangs head in shame*

In my defense, I use movies to teach what to do and what NOT to do. I suffer for my art…and for y’all .

With the world under attack by deadly creatures who hunt by sound, a teen and her family seek refuge outside the city and encounter a mysterious cult.

Netflix log-line for an AMAZON movie, LOL

If you want my formula for a log-line, it’s pretty much this:

Intriguing Protagonist + Antagonist/Story Problem + Active Goal + Ticking Clock + Stakes = STORY

A teen and her family is meh at best. Looking for refuge. Oh-kay. Um, who wouldn’t when the world is under attack by deadly creatures? In the novel, the family had an actual/physical destination. Every setback and disaster that kept them from reaching their specific goal wound the tension tighter.

Yet, in the movie, the vague ‘escape to the countryside’ offers no solid anchor, no focused objective and thus makes it impossible to generate authentic dramatic tension.

But the bee in my bonnet? Encounter a mysterious cult.

‘Encountering’ is boring. ‘Mysterious’ is even MORE boring. Maybe murderous? Bat$#!t crazy? What are the stakes? What’s the ticking timeline? Has the family discovered that there’s shelter, but they only have enough room/supplies for so many people? And this cult is stopping them every step of the way, threatening not only their lives, but slowing them down enough that they might lose all hope of refuge from the Vesps?

Nope.

In fact, this cult ISN’T EVEN INTRODUCED UNTIL WE’RE NEARLY TO THE END OF THE MOVIE!

Quick! Throw in a CULT!

It’s like someone went, “Well, we’ve done a lot of CGI and people might be bored with neurotic pterodactyls. QUICK! Throw in a CULT!”

The cult actually could have possibly turned this travesty around, but they came in too late. In Stephen King’s The Mist (which never really shows the monsters, btw), it’s the people who supply most of the terror.

It’s truly bonkers how rapidly humans can devolve into quackery when the world goes to hell in a hand basket. Yet, in The Mist, the super religious nut—who eventually creates murderous chaos—is present and already stoking trouble in Act ONE.

It wasn’t as if King had an eerie mist teeming with giant tentacles that tore people apart for most of the movie…then thirty minutes before the end? Half the trapped shoppers suddenly found religion.

If the cult was going to be part of the movie, they needed to be there from the get-go. Or a proxy. Otherwise? Kristen is screaming and throwing things and talking about herself in third-person.

World-Building has RULES, Even in The Silence

This was handled in the book a million times better, obviously. But, this doesn’t give the screenwriters a pass. With some minor changes, they could have taken a world ideal for the page and refitted it for the visual medium.

Clearly, they didn’t.

What did they do wrong? Whenever we build a different world, we as ‘Author God’, are responsible for establishing the rules. If those rules can be broken, then we are also in charge of working out the special circumstances where said rules can be broken.

First, we’ll dissect the creatures in The Silence *bada bump snare*

According to the movie, these critters been trapped in a world with no light, and, like many cave-dwelling animals, have no eyes and hunt by sound. Fair point. But even bats are nocturnal. They don’t hunt all hours of the day and they don’t attack everything. Attacking everything (in nature) is pointless and needlessly uses up energy.

Same with a blog, but I’m on a roll here, folks…

Anyway, being trapped in a world with no light would probably also make the Vesps super photosensitive. Why don’t these critters need SPF 450 to keep from bursting into flames like my Irish family members?

Also, in The Silence movie, every single sound—and I mean every single sound—throws the Vesps into berserker mode. That would get exhausting pretty quickly, especially since the world outside of a cave sealed off from the surface is a pretty darned noisy place.

Which begs the question….

If the creatures are set off by even the tiniest of sounds, then why not turn on every noisy contraption we have? If the father in the movie could flip on a wood chipper and make the Vesps divebomb blindly straight into a metaphorical Vespsa-Mix, then why are the humans being SO quiet?

Line the cities with wood chippers and loud speakers playing Brittany Spears’ Oops, I Did It Again on a loop. Not only for protection but also for some AWESOME dark irony .

Military: Hey, we still have those Barney & Friends VHS tapes? Should work on that cult, too.

It doesn’t make sense.

The movie has plenty of moments where a character even lightly stepping on gravel is enough to attract frantic Vesp attention, but here’s the thing. Nature is LOUD. Yes, the country is quietER than the big cities, but far from silent.

Every moving branch, lowing cow, and skittering squirrel would have the Vesps flinging themselves around to the point they’d be in therapy and on a high dose of Xanax within a couple weeks.

Instead of creeping along using sign language, why wasn’t this family using sound to their advantage? Leaving an alarm clock, radio, cell phone behind to attract the creatures away from them until they make it to the next leg of the journey?

Oh! I forgot! The cult. Wait…they’re late to the set. Never mind.

Character Choice Matters

What I’ve not mentioned to this point is that the teenage protagonist of The Silence is deaf. She lost her hearing in an accident. By the time the Vesps emerge, it’s been long enough for the family to learn sign language.

Again, this works on the page, but on the screen? They are too perfect a choice for a world where one has to (theoretically) be silent to survive.

***SPOILER ALERT

In Bird Box, we eventually learn that the blind had a natural advantage from the beginning because obviously they couldn’t SEE whatever was making regular people with sight go bananas. They could get along just fine because of their super-heightened senses of hearing, smell, touch, etc. that they’d developed since they’d never been able to rely on vision.

But, let me point out we learn this AT THE END.

In Bird Box, Malorie can see. She’s automatically at a major disadvantage in that she’s lived all the way into her adult life relying heavily on one of the five (or six) senses. She has to either hone those other senses or she’s doomed, as well as her unborn child.

After she gives birth, she has to take babies with perfectly healthy vision and train them to live as if they were born blind. This is all a colossal undertaking from the get-go.

‘The Silence,’ No Conflict, No Arc, Weak Story

Back to The Silence. As for the teenage Ally (neat spelling there), she already knows how to live as a deaf person from the moment the crisis begins. More importantly, though, her family also knows how be quiet and also how to sign proficiently.

How boringly convenient.

Had I written this? Perfectly fine if Ally was deaf, but for the screen, I’d have made her injury more recent. She’d have yet to come to grips with being hearing impaired and still been trapped on the emotional rollercoaster of her sensory world changing in an instant.

She wouldn’t have had enough time to change the habits formed over a lifetime. Like banging doors, slamming drawers, walking too loudly.

Her family would’ve been total beginners with sign language. Signing wouldn’t be their go-to way to communicate because they’d have yet to fully acclimate to having a daughter who couldn’t hear after well over a decade where she could.

They might still call out to her.

What was also boringly convenient? The grandmother was a retired nurse there to tend any injuries on the spot. NO! Make them suffer! Society is breaking down, for heaven’s sakes! Society imploding includes no longer being able to run to an urgent care when you need stitches and the correct antibiotic.

Without instant access to even basic medical care, the characters would have been forced to face how much they took for granted as well as learn new skills and take bigger risks…that could and SHOULD have created bigger problems.

For instance, they do their best stitching a deep wound, only for the stitches to go septic. OR? Stealing an antibiotic from a ravaged pharmacy only to find out it’s great for respiratory infections but does zilch for skin infections. Oh, and the injured person is violently allergic to it and goes into anaphylaxis…LOUDLY.

Great storytelling needs to bring out our inner sociopaths. Great writers will kill CHRISTMAS if we have to.

Up the Ante, Then Up it Some MORE

We are talking END OF THE WORLD…so make it worse. The screenwriters could have traded the preteen brother for a toddler or at least a much younger child. If the grandmother was still going to be included in the party, maybe make it where she’s in the early stages of dementia. She’s fine during the early hours of the day, but by late afternoon she’s dangerously emotional, confused, unpredictable, aggressive and prone to wander off (Sundowners syndrome).

Regardless, to make this story work on screen, the entire family (and even Ally)—in my POV—should have still had the habits of people used to being constantly VERBAL, accustomed to talking as their primary way to communicate. They’d probably even be unaware how much they talked just to talk.

Like talking to yourself. Shouting expletives when you bang your shin on the coffee table.

***For the record, my son (Spawn) and I would be dead within the day a couple hours if survival hinged on us being quiet.

This would have been the FIRST major hurdle to overcome. Imagine trying to run for your life and you keep having to refer to a sign language guide or scribble in a notebook (silently) to get even a basic point across.

‘The Silence’ Needed More Peril, Less CGI

Had Ally’s hearing loss been more recent, the family wouldn’t have had time to adjust. Add in a much younger sibling (age 5-6) or a grandparent with some unpredictable medical condition not easily managed or controlled (I.e. schizophrenia, Tourette’s, Parkinson’s) and the tension would have been through the ROOF.

The story problem would have forced character growth.

They would have all had to make big changes, tough choices and take incredible risks for the ‘weaker’ members of the group. In fact, I imagine had the screenwriters modified the story and character group in the ways I’ve suggested (or in a similar fashion) they wouldn’t have even needed any CGI.

Bird Box didn’t.

But, since The Silence screenwriters fixated on monsters and gore and cults, this only rendered the story family a gaggle of utterly forgettable—and borderline unlikable—characters.

Ally only ‘stood out’ because she had a superficial difference of being hearing impaired.

But LUCKILY, everyone in the family already had an A+ in being quiet.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

The Silence is Melodrama NOT Drama

Why all the griping? Other than I needed to gain something from the 90 minutes I can never get back? Movies, as I mentioned earlier, can teach us a lot about storytelling. Heck, one of THE best books about how to write is actually about screenwriting. Blake Snyder’s Save the Cat is a must-read!

***Amazon, are you reading? Y’all have the book in stock. Gift copies to your screenwriters, please.

In The Silence, the Vesps present an excellent end-of-the-world backdrop, but that’s all they are. They compel action that forces this family out of their comfort zone and into doing the unthinkable.

As is, the Vesps are simply a ‘bad situation,’ and the cult is an afterthought. The family is flat because the central story problem doesn’t present a focused core challenge overwhelming enough to force them to (authentically) grow from humans into heroes.

Just like the family needed weaknesses from the get-go, so did the Vesps. Not some bull sprinkles, ‘Oh they don’t like cold’ crap thrown out at the end…just after the cult showed up.

So in your own stories, remember structure is our friend. It lets us know who and what should show up when and where. When we REALLY understand structure, we can even bend and break those rules to surprise the audience…in a good way.

By understanding our core story problem, we can make sure we have a cast that will offer the path of greatest resistance. Every character will count.

What Are Your Thoughts? I LOVE Hearing from You!

Do you watch movies and pick them apart? Try and figure out ways the screenwriters could have done better? I read a TON of books, but I also actively watch movies, meaning I study structure, characters, dialogue, what I liked and what I didn’t.

I KNOW that books are pretty much always better than the movies, but that doesn’t mean screenwriters can’t pull off a fantastic film version of the longer work. This is why I often WILL read the book even if the movie adaptation made me want to throw myself off a water tower was bad.

Exercise:

What are some great movies that originated as books? Some of your favorites? Why did they work? What did the screenwriters keep/jettison? How did they condense or change it to keep the story in tact on screen?

Conversely, what are some of the largest tragedies you’ve seen on film. Doesn’t even have be a book adaptation. Can you think what the screenplay could have done differently to improve the experience?

I’d love to hear your opinions in the comments because that helps me, too!

The post ‘The Silence’ Movie: How to Botch Storytelling in Every Way Imaginable appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Today we’re going to chat about log-lines. Some of you might be wondering if I was trying to give you a heart attack with my title. Maybe you think this feat is impossible. AN ENTIRE NOVEL IN ONLY ONE SENTENCE?

Maybe something simple, plebeian and commercially formulaic *flips hair* but ART cannot be forced into a box.

Yes. Yes it can.

I know, I know. Your novel is over four-hundred pages with made up technology and wizards and folding space using enchanted Thigh Masters….

I hear you. Calm down.

A log-line is a lifeline that will allow you to pitch a novel (or series) in ONE—YES ONE—sentence. The log-line is going to save you time, energy, and sanity (save the crazy for the fiction).

We’ll get to how a log-line is going to do ALL this AND give you six-pack abs in only five minutes a day in a moment…

***Legal Disclaimer: Consult your psychiatrist before believing any writing tool will give you six-pack abs. The giant pink bunny in the corner lies, too FYI.

Anyway…

I used to try to teach story structure from the perspective of an editor, but I found that my approach was flawed. Why? Because editors are like building inspectors. We have skills best used on a finished product. We’re trained to look for structure problems.

Is that a good skill? Sure. But do building inspectors design buildings?

No.

Architects do. Architects employ creativity and vision to create a final structure. Hopefully, they will have the necessary skills to create and design a structure that will meet code standards.

Creativity and vision are not enough. Architects need to learn mathematics and physics. They need to understand that a picture window might be real pretty, but if they put that sucker in a load-bearing wall, they won’t pass inspection and that they even risk a fatal collapse.

Aestheticism must align with pragmatism.

This made me step back and learn to become an architect. When it comes to plotting, I hope to teach you guys how to have the creative vision of the designer, but with the practical understanding of an inspector.

We’ve discussed how plot works on a micro-scale (scene and sequel). After that, we panned back for an aerial shot, and discussed how great stories–like amazeballs rollercoasters—are addictive by design.

I’ve also covered how the single most important component to plot is the opposition, and l even have a tested method to make sure your core idea  is actually solid enough to be the foundation for an entire novel.

So what’s this log-line thingy?

Basically, we should be able to tell someone (an agent) what our story is about in one sentence. That is called the “log-line.” Log-lines are used in Hollywood to pitch movies.

In fact, a book that should be in every writer’s library is Save the Cat by Blake Snyder. It’s a book on screenwriting, but every writer can benefit enormously from Snyder’s teaching.

In the world of screenwriting there is a tenet, “Give me the same, but different.” This axiom still holds true when it comes to novels.

Our story cannot go so far off the deep end that readers cannot relate, but yet our story needs to be different enough that people don’t just think it’s a retread.

We as writers have to negotiate this fine balance of same but different, and that is no easy task.

So let’s look at components of a great log-line:

Great log-lines are short and clear.

I cannot tell you how many writers I ask, “So what’s your book about?” and they take off rambling for the next ten minutes. Often why writers are so terrified of the pitch session is that they cannot clearly state what their book is about in three sentences or less.

Here is a little insider information. When we cannot whittle our entire story into three sentences that is a clear sign to agents and editors that our story is structurally flawed. Not always, but more often than not. Your goal should be ONE sentence. What is your story about?

A good log-line is ironic. 

Irony gets attention and hooks interest. Here’s an example:

The Green Mile is about the lives of guards on death row leading up to the execution of a black man accused of rape and child murder who has the power of faith healing.

What can be more ironic than a murderer having the power of  healing? Think of the complex emotions that one sentence evokes, the moral complications that we just know are going to blossom out of the “seed idea.”

A good log-line is emotionally intriguing.

A good log-line tells the entire story. Like a movie, you can almost see the entire story play out in your head.

During a preview tour, a theme park suffers a major power breakdown that allows its cloned dinosaur exhibits to run amok.

Didn’t you just see the entire movie play out in your head with that ONE sentence? Apparently Steven Spielberg did, too and that’s why he took Michael Crichton’s novel Jurassic Park and made it into a blockbuster movie.

A good log-line will interest potential readers.

Good log-lines exude inherent conflict. Conflict is interesting. In Save the Cat, Blake Snyder relays stories of how he would take his log-line to Starbucks and ask total strangers what they thought about his idea.

This is a great exercise for your novel.

Pitch to friends, family, and even total strangers and watch their reaction. Did their eyes glaze over? Did the smile seem polite or forced? If you can boil your book down into one sentence that generates excitement for the regular person, then you know you are on a solid path for your novel.

Yet, if your potential audience looks confused or bored or lost, then you know it is time to go back to the drawing board. But the good news is this; you just have to fix ONE sentence.

You don’t have to go rewrite, revise a novel that is confusing, convoluted, boring, arcane, ridiculous, etc.

Think of your one sentence as your scale-model or your prototype. If the prototype doesn’t generate excitement and interest, it is unlikely the real thing will succeed. So revise the prototype until you find something that gets the future audience genuinely excited.

You have your log-line. Now what?

Your log-line is the core idea of your story. This will be the beacon of light in the darkness so you always know where the shore is versus the open sea. This sentence will keep you grounded in the original story you wanted to tell and keep you from prancing down bunny trails.

The Fear Factor

Fear is probably the most common emotion shared by writers. The newer we are the more fear we will feel. A side-effect of fear is to emotionally distance from the source of our discomfort.

This is why so many first-time novels fall apart.

I can tell everything that is wrong in a novel with a single glance at the log-line. Conversely, I can tell a writer what precisely needs to be fixed by looking at the log-line.

Does the story have a core problem? Is it a large enough/interesting enough problem to merit a whole novel? What are the stakes? Is there a ticking clock or have we given the MC forever to get around to accomplishing the goal?

If you’re like me and botched your first (hundred) attempts to write a novel, RELAX. It takes time to develop the level of sadism required to write spectacular stories. Not everyone is a born psychopath like George R.R. Martin.

New writers (in particular) tend to shy from any source of conflict, but conflict is the life blood of fiction. Log-lines can show us our story is flat-lining and WHY.

One of the best ways to learn how to write log-lines is to go peruse the IMDB (Internet Movie Database). Look up your favorite movies and see how they are described.

You can even look up movies that bombed and very often see the log-line was weak and the movie was doomed from the start. Look up movies similar to the story you are writing. Look up movies similar to the story you want to tell.

Solid novel log-lines will have 1) your protagonist 2) active verb 3) active goal 4) antagonist 5) stakes 6) ticking clock.

EXAMPLE: Here is a log-line I wrote for Michael Crichton’s Prey.

An out-of-work computer programmer (protagonist) must uncover (active verb) the secrets his wife is keeping in order to destroy (active goal) the nano-robotic threat (antagonist) to human-kind’s existence (stakes/ticking clock).

Hopefully you can see how this log-line meets all the criteria I set out earlier.

This log-line is ironic. An out-of-work programmer will uncover the robotic threat.

It’s emotionally intriguing. The main gatekeeper to the problem is his wife. This spells logistical and emotional complication to me.

Also, the MC doesn’t have forever to get around to stopping the threat. If he doesn’t ACT, humanity is doomed. Also, the price of failure and success is the same…everything he knows and loves.

It will interest potential readers. Considering it was a NYT best-seller, I think Crichton did okay.

So here is an exercise.

See if you can state your novel in one sentence. It will not only help add clarity to your writing and keep you on track, but when it comes time to pitch an agent or hook readers to BUY, you will be well-prepared and ready to knock it out of the park.

Practice on your favorite movies and books. Work those log-line muscles!

If you’re struggling, I’m giving a class next Thursday, September 20th, Pitch Perfect: How to Write a Query Letter & Synopsis That SELLS.

Part of this class is my special recipe/formula for amazing log-lines to impress your friends and, hopefully an agent. The first ten sign ups will get ME repairing your log-line, shining it up the snazziest it can be for FREE. Grab your slot ASAP. You can register HERE.

I LOVE hearing from you!

What are some problems you might be having? Do you find you wander too far off your original idea? What are your struggles with remaining focused?

What do you WIN? For the month of SEPTEMBER, for everyone who leaves a comment, I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly. I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

***Chris Parrett is August’s winner. Please send your 5000 word Word doc to kristen at wana intl dot com. One-inch margins and 12 point Times New Roman Font, double-spaced. Congratulations!

***FYI: The Speculative Fiction Saturday has been moved to THIS COMING SATURDAY (9/15/18).

The software that powers our virtual classrooms kept crashing our servers #NotFun. Thus, we spent the entire weekend upgrading/updating all the tech and it looks fantastic!

I HIGHLY recommend The XXX Files Bundle (all three classes—world-building, character, advanced plotting—for the price of two). Speculative fiction includes sci-fi, fantasy, dystopian, utopian, horror and basically all the weird stuff. Sign up and we can be weird TOGETHER!

It will be FUN!

Upcoming Classes for September

Brand Boss: When Your Name Alone Can Sell

Instructor: Kristen Lamb
Price: General Admission $55.00 USD/ GOLD Level $175
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Thursday, Thursday September 13th, 2018. 7:00-9:00 p.m. EST

REGISTER HERE

The XXX Files: The Planet X Speculative Fiction 3-Class Bundle

Instructors: Cait Reynolds & Kristen Lamb
Price: $110.00 USD (It’s LITERALLY one class FREE!)
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Saturday, September 15th, 2018. 10:00 a.m.—6:00 p.m. EST.

REGISTER HERE

Purchase includes FREE recording of all three classes.

Building Planet X: Out-of-This-World-Building for Speculative Fiction

Instructor: Cait Reynolds
Price: $55.00 USD
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Saturday, September 15th, 2018. 10:00 a.m.—12:00 p.m. EST

REGISTER HERE

Populating Planet X: Creating Realistic, Relatable Characters in Speculative Fiction

Instructors: Cait Reynolds & Kristen Lamb
Price: $55.00 USD
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Saturday, September 15th, 2018. 1:00—3:00 p.m. EST

REGISTER HERE

Beyond Planet X: Mastering Speculative Fiction

Instructor: Kristen Lamb
Price: $55.00 USD
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Saturday, September 15th, 2018. 4:00—6:00 p.m. EST

REGISTER HERE

Pitch Perfect—How To Write a Query Letter & Synopsis that SELLS

Instructor: Kristen Lamb
Price: $45 USD Standard
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Thursday, September 7:00 PM E.S.T. to 9:00 P.M. EST

You’ve written a novel and now are faced with the two most terrifying challenges all writers face. The query and the synopsis.

Query letters can be daunting. How do you sell yourself? Your work? How can you stand apart without including glitter in your letter?

***NOTE: DO NOT PUT GLITTER IN YOUR QUERY.

Good question. We will cover that and more!

But sometimes the query is not enough.

Most writers would rather cut their wrists with a spork than be forced to write the dreaded…synopsis. Yet, this is a valuable skills all writers should learn. Synopses are often requested by agents and editors and it is tough not to feel the need to include every last little detail. Synopses are great for not only keeping your writing on track, but also for pitching your next book and your next to that agent of your choice.

This class will help you learn the fundamentals of writing a query letter and a synopsis. What you must include and what doesn’t belong.

So make your writing pitch perfect with these two skills!

The post The Log-Line: Can You Pitch Your ENTIRE Story in ONE Sentence? appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Les Edgerton

I hope you guys enjoyed Les’s guest post yesterday. Today, Les is offering a bonus…an EXERCISE to help you develop your skills for writing killer dialogue.

Take it away, Les!

Exercise on Subtext

This exercise is primarily for the teacher teaching basic writing principles, although perhaps even more advanced writers may get something out of it. It’s an exercise I use in my “on-ground” classes when I’m teaching at a college.

It represents a very basic example of dialogue that’s not “on-the-nose” or a Q&A exchange, to show students a very easy to understand example of how off-the-nose dialogue works and how subtext informs the dialogue more than the actual dialogue.

I usually have two students come to the front of the room and read the following script. Then, I ask the questions that follow. It’s a simple exercise, but I’m happy to report that most of the students really enjoy coming up with their own exchanges, which is part of the assignment.

If anyone uses this in an actual class, I’d love to hear your feedback. (Also, you may want to write your own example—I admit this isn’t deathless prose, but hey! I wrote it in about five minutes. Gimme a break…)

DIALOGUE EXERCISE

She: The Bentley’s baby was cute, wasn’t it?

He: I don’t think I saw it. I was in the kitchen with the guys all night.

She: Well, she was a cute little baby.

He: Great. Women think all babies are cute. Ever heard a woman say someone’s kid was ugly? I mean, except for Shrek’s parents’ friends?

She: Brad and Gena seem so happy.

He: They should be. He just got a promotion.

She: Silly! I mean the baby.

He: There goes the promotion. The raise part of it, anyway.

She: I think they’ll manage. Babies are worth a sacrifice or two.

He: If you say so.

She: Look at it practically. Their little girl will probably take care of them in their old age.

He: That’s a great tradeoff. Let’s see… take care of a kid for 22 years—I’m including college—and they stick you in a home for your final three years. Probably use your own money to fund your own old folks’ home. Sounds like a good deal.

She: It’s not like that.

He: Yeah. Whatever.

Silence for a few seconds.

She: Samantha.

He: Huh?

She: Samantha. They named her Samantha. I think that’s cute. I wonder if they’ll call her “Sam.”

He: They ought to call her “Stinky.”

She: What?

He: You heard me. “Stinky.” The kid smells.

She: All kids smell when they make a mess. You smelled. Besides, how would you know if she smelled? You said you stayed in the kitchen.

He: All kids smell.

She: Then you change their diaper.

He: Yeah. There goes the entertainment budget.

She: You mean the beer budget.

He: So?

She: So is if you cut out a few beers, you’d have plenty of diapers… and lose a few pounds…

He: You sayin’ I’m fat?

She: I’m saying diapers don’t cost that much. A six-pack or two.

He: Maybe. But how many six-packs does it cost to send a kid to college?

She (laughing): About what you go through in a week!

He (mutters): Must be a cheap school. All the classes on the Internet? The school’s in the Caribbean?

She: She’ll probably get scholarships anyway.

He: That’s cool. That means she’ll spend all her time partyin’. End up pregnant.

She: She’ll be way too smart for that.

He: Like her mom was?

Who were this man and woman really talking about? What did the woman want? What did the man want? Did either of them come right out and say what they were really talking about?

This is dialogue that isn’t “on the nose.” It’s one way good dialogue is written. What’s important is what isn’t said–the subtext. The subtext is the real message that’s under the surface of the actual dialogue spoken.

This is what I want you to write (in teams). Two people talking about something that is really being expressed in subtext—dialogue that’s not “on the nose.” You can pick any subject you want for them to discuss (within reason!). Whatever they’re really talking about can’t be mentioned. After you deliver your dialogue, the class will attempt to guess what it is you’ve really been talking about.

Time: 2-3 minutes performance time per person. I’d rehearse this so your team falls within the time limit. That’s where I’ll take the most points off, for being short of the minimum.

Notes: You don’t need to memorize the exchange but can read off your script.

Bonus points: Your team can gain bonus points if you use props and/or costumes. (I’ve had some really original costumes and props show up…)

Hope this helps understand better what subtext is and what off-the-nose dialogue is. Write solid subtext dialogue and you’ll draw comparisons to folks like Elmore Leonard!

Bonus tips: Nothing to do with dialogue but just two tips to becoming a better writer.

1. Don’t show a “single tear coursing down the cheek” of a character. It isn’t dramatic; it’s a cliché. It’s a moronic cliché. Plus, it makes the reader wonder if the other tear duct is clogged or if only one tear shows a person with some kind of half-ass control over their emotion where they can control one eye but not both at the same time…

2. Don’t ever write a sentence like: I wonder if he’ll like me, she thought to herself. I mean… who else does a person think to other than themselves? Unless it’s a sci-fi novel and people can think to others…

These two things are my personal bugaboos in writing. I throw up in my mouth whenever I encounter these puppies! Sometimes, I do more than just choke up a bit of bile. At times, I’ve hurled chunks when encountering these in a student’s work… Just sayin’…

Thank you Les for this wonderful exercise. I am trying to twist Les’s arm for a Part Three on Monday, so here’s hoping :D.

I love hearing from you!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of April, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

And also, winners have a limited time to claim the prize, because what’s happening is there are actually quite a few people who never claim the critique, so I never know if the spam folder ate it or to look for it and then people miss out. I will also give my corporate e-mail to insure we connect and I will only have a week to return the 20 page edit.

At the end of April I will pick a winner for the monthly prize. Good luck!

Les Edgerton is the author of HOOKED, THE RAPIST, THE BITCH and others.

Winner for March is Daniel Occento. Please send your 5000 word WORD document to kristen at wana intl dot com. You can also choose to send a one-page query letter of five-page synopsis (limit 1250 words).

The post Les Edgerton Shows How to Write Amazing Dialogue–Part 2 AN EXERCISE appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Yet, every time I blog about the antagonist, I get the same comments:

But what if nature is the antagonist?

But what if a belief system is the antagonist?

But what if my protagonist and antagonist are the same person?

Most of the time, questions like this alert me that you have slept since high school or college English. Do not feel badly about not knowing this stuff. The English we are taught in school is not meant as preparation for a career in commercial fiction. I struggled with this stuff, too, which is why I am using this blog to help part the fog of confusion.

Today we are going to talk about Man Against Nature, since many new writers believe that bad weather, a hungry bear or a Shark-Clown can be the antagonist (or the BBT if you read last week’s post). Yes, they can, but uh, not really. If we want our story to have more depth than a Hollywood B movie, we need to really understand this Man Against Nature thing and how to make it work.

But First, Man Against Man

Man Against Man is fairly straight-forward. This is probably the simplest form of story antagonism to see and understand. In simple Man Against Man, we have an antagonist who has a goal that conflicts with the protagonist’s goal.

In the Chronicles of Riddick, Lord Marshall wants Riddick dead because Riddick is the last Furian male, and a Furian male is prophesied to bring Lord Marshall’s end. Riddick, however, wants Lord Marshall dead because Lord Marshall wiped out Riddick’s planet trying to kill all the Furian males so that he could stop the prophesy.

A smidge of irony there.

So here the conflict is pretty clear. Lord Marshall wants Riddick dead and Riddick wants Lord Marshall dead. Only one of them can be dead at the end of the story, lest this become a French film and be hailed as genius at the Cannes Film Festival.

Everybody died, even the houseplants! It was brilliant!

Thus, all of Lord Marshall’s actions are to capture and kill Riddick. All of Riddick’s actions are to avoid capture but press closer to take out Lord Marshall. It is this tug-of-war that creates the story tension.

Ah, But What About Man Against Nature?

Okay, to start. How many NYT best-belling novels have we seen where the protagonist is fighting bad weather for 400 pages? And how can a protagonist ever really win against the weather? It isn’t something we can control, so is the weather really the BBT (Big Boss Trouble-Maker)?

Yes, and no.

Often Man Against Nature will also generate a Man Against Man and a Man Against Himself story.

Huh?

I know. It’s okay. Breathe in a paper bag and trust me. First, understand that even if a storm or a shark-clown is the BBT, we need a corporeal antagonist to generate much of the conflict.

Humans don’t do so great with existentialism.

Thus, your story likely will lend itself more to a character battle. What is it about your protagonist that will change when pitted against nature or the worst parts of himself? There will often be a flesh and blood representation of that ugly nature.

The Perfect Storm

The Wolfgang Peterson film The Perfect Storm is a great example. Was the storm really the BBT? Or was it merely a catalyst that brought forth the real BBT…pride and greed (Man Against Himself).

George Clooney plays Captain Billy Tyne who is desperate for money. Tyne convinces the crew of the Andrea Gail to go fishing during a dangerous time of year to preserve his business and his pride (and frankly, the men agree because they are desperate, broke and trying to preserve their manhood).

The crew presses out beyond their normal fishing grounds, leaving a nasty developing thunderstorm behind. Their luck seems to improve when they hit the Flemish Gap. The men bring in the haul of a lifetime…but then ice machine breaks.

Of course it does!

There are but two choices—go through the storm of the century to get home before the fish rot OR go around the storm but lose the haul and their dignity. A fight breaks out among the crew (Man Against Man). Some want to take on the storm. Others know it’s a fool’s errand and no money is worth dying for.

Ultimately, it is the captain who makes the final decision to risk his men for the fish. He is the physical proxy of greed and pride. He (mistakenly) believes believes that their skill will be able to triumph over the perfect storm, and he is wrong and everyone dies…which is probably why I really didn’t care for the book or the movie, but that is just me.

But, notice how the storm doesn’t directly generate the story problem. The captain is broke. He is staring down the barrel of bankruptcy. The men are broke. They are fighting with loved ones over bills.

It is pride and greed that propel the men out into the ocean during the most dangerous time of year. Pride and greed drive them beyond their normal fishing area. And, in the end, pride and greed lands them at the bottom of the ocean.

It is the captain who leads the way, and that is why HE is the proxy of the BBT. It is his decision to go fishing during a dangerous time of year that changes everything. If Tyne had declared bankruptcy and taken on selling hand-painted garden gnomes, there would be no story and the men would have lived.

Yes, this can be a mind-bender, but practice this enough and it gets easy.

Man Against Hungry Critters

Another great example of Man Against Nature is the 1997 survival story The Edge. Anthony Hopkins plays braniac billionaire Charles Morse who becomes stranded in the wilds of North America  when the small prop plane he’s traveling in crashes. Charles is not alone. Though the pilot is killed, two photographers–Bob and Stephen–survive with Charles.

If this were a simple Man Against Nature story it would still be good, but what makes it great is the story doesn’t stop there.

Man Against Munchies Man

Charles is aware that photographer Bob is having an affair with Charles’s wife (a supermodel). He also suspects that Bob deliberately invited him out into the wilds to kill him. This agenda is, of course, put on the back burner due to the fact that Bob is a total city boy and he needs Charles’s photographic memory if he hopes to survive.

***Charles loves reading survival books and Bob is in a pickle without that information running around Charles’s noggin.

Man Against Himself

Charles is a billionaire, a man with the Midas touch. His mind is what has helped him amass a fortune, but he’s never really had to get his hands dirty. When he crash-lands in the wilderness with a man he knows wants him dead, can he do what it takes to come out alive? Nature is what will test this.

See, Nature becomes the catalyst–the brutal weather and sparse food of the Pacific Northwest. Oh, and add in a hungry man-eating bear and now we have the perfect test for Charles, to see what he is really made of.

This movie isn’t scene after scene of fighting off a bear and keeping warm–though there is a lot of that. The fighting the weather and evading the bear really drive the Man Against Man story. Charles vs. Bob. Only one man can walk out alive.

Thus, I hope you can see that Man Against Nature is doable. Mother Nature is a viable choice for a BBT, but she does need help for our story to have any depth. In The Edge, screenwriter David Mamet could have written a script where characters outran a bear for 90 minutes…but he didn’t, and THAT is why the movie rocks.

Next week we will explore some more unconventional antagonists. Did this help? Are your brains now the consistency of scrambled eggs? Any questions? What are some questions or troubles you have with the antagonist?

I LOVE hearing from you!

And to prove it and show my love, for the month of April/May, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner every week for a critique of your first five pages. At the end of April/May I will pick a winner for the grand prize. A free critique from me on the first 15 pages of your novel. Good luck!

Note–My plane got in late and I didn’t get to bed until midnight. Will announce the winner either Wednesday of Friday. Thanks :D.

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.

The post Man Against Nature–How to Make it Work appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Yeah, well they clearly don’t understand that this gem won’t be here for long. Limited time offer, Honey. And … well, they’ll be sorry.

The good news is that this conference seriously ROCKS. That has helped to take my mind off the fact that launching my career as a movie star is not going according to plan. According to my original calculations, I should have been signing a movie deal by now.

But back to the conference…

The Romantic Times Book Lovers Convention has gathered together a mind-boggling collection of experts; everything from forensics experts, to the ATF, to NY Times best-selling authors to teach attendees how to be the best they possibly can be.

Thus, the only nugget of advice I can give you guys is to invest in yourselves. Invest in your careers. We are in amazing times to be a writer. There are so many potential career options. It is liberating and terrifying to think that now everyone can be published. In ways, this is excellent news, but it is staggering to think of the competition we will face in the coming years.

Ah, but the cream will always separate, which makes it even more vital that we do everything we can to learn our craft and take our business seriously.

Thus, a handful of tips for every budget.

1. We must read books about our craft. I gobble up everything I can, particularly books about structure. My opinion? Writers who really understand structure are faster, cleaner, more prolific writers, regardless their style of execution (plotter/pantser). It might take 5 years to write our first book, but when it comes to book two? We need to significantly shorten that timeline without compromising quality.

2. Get on Twitter and follow every agent, editor, publisher and best-selling author you can find. We have to do everything we can to know the ins and outs of our business. Knowledge is power. Twitter is one of the few places that stalking is encouraged. Apparently here in L.A., it will get you banned from a restaurant I didn’t like anyway. Jerks.

3. Read novels of all kinds. Yes, we can read our own genre, but the real art side of the craft often comes when we blend elements from other styles. It gives new blood to our genre and helps our work stand apart.

4. Build a social media platform to support our careers for the long-term. I can attest that it takes time to get momentum. You will feel like nothing you are doing is making one bit of difference. Just keep at it, no matter how discouraging. Too many writers give up just shy of the tipping point.

5. Do everything you can to go to conferences. Feel free to start small with local conferences, but when you get a chance try to go to the big ones. It is a totally different world and the relationships and professional connections you’ll make are priceless.

Everyone can be published. That is now a reality. BUT, not everyone will approach being an author with the skill, energy, focus and planning necessary to thrive as a career professional in this new paradigm.

All right, so back to choosing an outfit for the day. I need something eye-catching. Maybe the Hollywood people just haven’t seen me yet. Okay, well one saw me. I went to the Hollywood track yesterday to become peeps with the producers, but then nothing. Can you believe that? I couldn’t either. So I figured that they probably just didn’t make a big deal out of me because they were worried they might make the other writers jealous. I was not one to give up.

Anyway…

I think that producer Lee Goldberg turned his sprinklers on deliberately to flush me out of his hedges. Ruined my stack of head shots. Some people are so rude. But I was gracious and slipped one under his windshield wiper along with the script I wrote on the plane about the story of my life. I clearly stated in my note that I was totally willing to play the part of me to save the studios money, but that he was free to cast Reese Witherspoon. I would approve.

What does a writer have to do to get famous in this town?

I miss you guys and thanks so much for all of your comments. You have no idea how awesome it has been to read your thoughts and opinions in between speakers. I just don’t understand how I could be so naive. You guys can see how awesome I am. What is wrong with these Hollywood people? I think we need you guys to take over, because clearly you have superlative taste.

What are some of your tips to make it in this modern publishing jungle?

Okay, publishing smublishing. More about me.

I’m running out of time. Any suggestions of how I could get my movie deal? Maybe you guys can think of something. The world needs to know the story of me, or it will be a sad, dark little place where life is never fully experienced. So help me out!

And, in return for your assistance with launching my stardom…

For the month of April, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner every week for a critique of your first five pages. At the end of April I will pick a winner for the grand prize. A free critique from me on the first 15 pages of your novel. Good luck!

Note: I am keeping all the names for a final GRAND, GRAND PRIZE of 30 Pages (To be announced) OR a blog diagnostic. I look at your blog and give feedback to improve it. For now, I will draw weekly for 5 page edit, monthly for 15 page edit.

Stay tuned for March’s winners. Will post soon. No Mash-Up of Awesomeness today. The hotel Internet connection makes glaciers look fast. I nearly tore out all my own hair just trying to get the blog posted. Okay, done whining. The MUA will resume next week. Promise.

Happy writing!

Until next time….

In the meantime, if you don’t already own a copy, my best-selling book We Are Not Alone–The Writers Guide to Social Media is recommended by literary agents and endorsed by NY Times best-selling authors. My method is free, fast, simple and leaves time to write more books.

The post Live from L.A.–What Does a Writer Have to Do to Get Famous? appeared first on Kristen Lamb.