Not an actual photo of Jim, rather a hastily Photoshopped rendition of my warped imagination.

Today, we will be chatting with James Rollins. Yes, you read correctly–JAMES ROLLINS. As in New York Times Mega-Best-Selling Author *swooning*. Whether you have read Jim’s books….*giggle* I totally just called him JIM *squee!*. Okay, being serious now.

Whether you have read Jim’s books or not, there is something about that title–NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLING AUTHOR–that takes away a writer’s humanness. For some reason, us mere mortals look upon the NYTBSAs (pronounced Nyit-buh-Saws) as if they no longer eat meals or have to pee. They are the…NYTBSAs and they live in their mansions made of gold while agents deliver big bags of money. Every thought they have is utter brilliance and they write 10,000 words a day of magic. Their biggest worries are what to wear to the book signings.

Nothing with buttons that could get ripped off by hoardes of screaming fans.

Many of us treat the NYTBSAs like some other creature, a new step in writer evolution. We get this weird vision that they start out like us….lowly writing caterpillars crawling along, struggling to say “dangling participle” without giggling. Then one day, they land an agent. Feeling dizzy, they stagger to their offices and cling to their laptops. Paralyzed, a crysalis forms around them and begins to pulsate with life. It is during this metamorphosis that these writer-humans start to change…into NYTBSAs.

Once they break free from their cocoons, NYTBSAs no longer go out in public or even shop for their own groceries because the brilliance of their sheer awesomness could blind onlookers. We believe the NYTBSAs spend their days talking to Hollywood about who should be cast in the movie version of their latest book. There is a part of us that is very jealous because, in our minds, the NYTBSAs no longer have worries or struggle with self-doubt.

They aren’t like us. They aren’t human. They are NYTBSAs, the cyborgs of the writer world–part human, part machine….

…or maybe not.

I actually have had the rare privilege of getting to know James Rollins. It started with fan mail. Jim just kept sending me letters begging to get to talk to me and tell people he was my friend and please, please, please could I sign one of my books for him.

…okay, I totally made that up. 

No, I have been blessed to get to know Jim and find out he is probably one of THE single coolest people I’ve ever met. I now realize that at least one part of the NYTBSA legend is true. Jim possibly could blind others with his sheer awesomeness. But, don’t take my word for it. Here is the interview that proves my point, and you guys can decide.

James Rollins–NY Times Best Selling Cyborg or Human Geek Like the Rest of Us? 

Jim, thank you for being here and agreeing to answer a few questions.

Uh…sure. Who are you? Are we in a van?

You’re so funny.

No, seriously, I think I’m in a van. Why are my hands tied?

Sorry about that. For your own safety. Just answer our questions and we’ll set you free. Back to the interview. It looks like the prophesied Rapture came and went, and yet we’re all still here. Any advice for those of us facing the NEW end of the world date….October 21st? What preparations have you made for the 2012 Apocalypse?

What?  October 21^st?  Before Halloween? And I bought all of those discounted post-Halloween decorations last year.  I guess I’m going to have to put them out right now.  The decorations may raise the eyebrows of a few neighbors, but I’m getting my money’s worth.  Man, apocalypses are so inconvenient.  

You wrote the novelization for the most recent Indiana Jones film. How was this fan fic experience? If you could have one piece of Indy’s gear for yourself, which would it be?

One piece?  I already own an Indy hat and a whip. Okay the last is not an official “Indy”-endorsed product (hmm, am I revealing too much about myself?).  As to writing Indy, I had a blast.  I was the biggest fan, so to be able to put on that hat and play Indy on paper was so much fun.  Plus visiting the Lucas studios was like Charlie visiting the Wonka Factory (just no Oompa-Loompas).

Is scuba-diving part of your master plan to be the discoverer of the lost city of Atlantis, or are you just visiting relatives? Why the fascination with water?

I grew up in the land-locked Midwest.  I never saw the ocean until my mid-twenties.  So once I reached that first shoreline, it was love at first sight—and I literally dove right in.  I think one of the reasons I enjoy scuba-diving (and caving) is because this world is so thoroughly mapped and Googled that there are few places “unseen”–but underwater or underground you have a potential to “see” something for the very first time.

Reality television is just more proof that zombies likely will take over. When the zombies do strike, how long do you think you’ll survive? What items would you grab before taking shelter?

Wait?  Are you saying the Apocalypse of Oct 21 is going to be a zombie apocalypse?  Great, now I can’t use those zombie Halloween decorations.  Zombies absolutely hate being teased and made fun of  (and, boy, do I know that first hand…but that’s another story for another time).  As to going into shelter: no way.  I’m going 100% Zombieland during that apocalypse.  I’m going on a cross-country zombie-slaying rampage.  I may do that even if there’s no zombie apocalypse.  I may pair it up with my book tour.

What is the ultimate combination of pizza toppings, not to mention the perfect cheese ratio?

Oh, now we’re getting dead serious here.  The perfect pie is Italian sausage, pepperoni, and green pepper on a thin, crisp cracker crust with extra cheese (the exact cheese to pie ratio is still being perfected in an underground lab in Eastern Europe).  And that pie should be from Aurelio’s Pizza in Chicago.

I hear that you’re a gamer, does that mean you’re hardcore and have an IV of Monster energy drinks and your favorite food is Cheetos, or are you more of a casual gamer (Mountain Dew and pizza)? Since you are a writer AND a gamer, do you consider yourself a connoisseur of energy drinks? OOOH! Squirrel! Where was I?

That’s a lot of questions.  I need to grab another Rockstar Energy Drink before answering that (and yes, I’ve moved from Monster to Rockstar…I mean, it is the afternoon right now.  Monster is a morning drink).  As to gaming, I’ve got it bad.  Perfect day:  Gears of War on Horde, a pizza, a Rockstar hydration drink, and a bathroom close enough nearby to run to between rounds.  And by perfect day, I do mean day…as in 24 straight hours of game play.

What bad habit do you struggle with? What do you wish you could change?

Um, did you hear my answer to your last question?  Stop me before I start wearing diapers when I play.

I see, among your recommended authors, Neil Gaiman, JRR Tolkien, and Roger Zelazny. Admit it! You’re a fanboy just like the rest of us! *ahem* With that in mind, if you were ever able to sit down with JRR Tolkien, what would you ask him (once you got over the fact that you were talking with a ghost or had successfully traveled back in time)?

Admit I’m a fanboy?  I wave my Geek flag proudly. I met Terry Brooks at a writing conference where I all but genuflected in front of him.  I wore a t-shirt all through high school that read “Keep on Tolkien.”  So you think that flag isn’t still flying?  My office looks half like something out of the British Museum and half out of a comic book store.  What would I ask Tolkien?  I would ask him where that secret portal to Middle Earth is and what should I pack.   

You once were a veterinarian, so maybe we can finally lay this question to rest. What is the average air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

European or African?  (Oh, man, now I’ve really shown how much of a Geek I am, quoting Monty Python).

How many pets do you have, and do they boss you around?

At this exact moment, I have a drool-laden tennis ball in my lap, dropped there by my Golden Retriever. She’s very upset that I’m doing this interview versus giving her my full, undivided attention.  I also have a Dachshund who’s only command is:  Feed me now. I hear it every morning at 6 am.

What is your favorite movie of all time?

You’ve got to be kidding.  As a movie buff, just my Top Ten is a Top 100.  I can’t pick just one.  Just off the top of my head:  Jurassic Park, Alien/Aliens, Terminator, All the Indiana Jones pictures, the Star Wars trilogy (and you know WHICH trilogy I’m referring to), Sound of Music (how did that get in there?!?), the LOTR trilogy, Galaxy Quest, and the list goes on an on.

Finally, you have a new novel, The Devil’s Colony, that is about to be released. What was your favorite part about writing this novel? Tell us a little about why you are so excited about this particular story. 

The most exciting part is being able to set a story in the United States.  It took me forever to come up with a story to address the “national” in an “international” thriller.  Even after coming up with the idea, it took a full two years to write.  As to the favorite part, it’s the appearance of the Orcas.  And that’s all I’m going to say—not because it’s a secret, only because that wet tennis ball is soaking through my pants and there’s a very demanding paw resting on my knee.

Thanks, Jim! We can set you free now. Your dogs were most helpful in abducting you. Apparently Chuck Wendig is not the only one who can be bought with bacon.

I was totally kidding about the van, though there are some regular readers who probably wouldn’t put it past me. I hope you enjoyed this interview with James Rollins, and if you have any additional questions for Jim, feel free to put them into the comments. Either Jim can answer or I will try to hack into his computer and answer for him later. Please tell your friends about this interview and offer some writer support to our pal, James Rollins. Apparently even NYTBSAs still need help and do a lion’s share of their own promotion, and I know you guys are an amazing group who always impress me with your enthusastic support.

I love hearing from you! No need to be shy. What do you want to know? Thoughts about your own notions of NYTBSAs? And to prove it and show my love, for the month of June, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner every week for a critique of your first five pages. At the end of June I will pick a winner for the grand prize. A free critique from me on the first 15 pages of your novel. Good luck!

Note: I am keeping all the names for a final GRAND, GRAND PRIZE of 30 Pages (To be announced) OR a blog diagnostic. I look at your blog and give feedback to improve it. For now, I will draw weekly for 5 page edit, monthly for 15 page edit.

In the meantime, I HIGHLY recommend his new short story exclusive The Skeleton Key, and also check out this killer video clip where Jim tells us all about his upcoming book The Devil’s Colony (pre-order today!). Was America founded on a lie? Was there a cursed 14th colony blotted from the pages of history?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TEvH86pbQo&feature=player_embedded]