<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	
	xmlns:georss="http://www.georss.org/georss"
	xmlns:geo="http://www.w3.org/2003/01/geo/wgs84_pos#"
	>

<channel>
	<title>social media platform for writers Archives - Kristen Lamb</title>
	<atom:link href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/tag/social-media-platform-for-writers/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>https://authorkristenlamb.com/tag/social-media-platform-for-writers/</link>
	<description>Author, Blogger, Social Media Jedi</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Fri, 19 May 2017 22:49:54 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en-US</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>
	hourly	</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>
	1	</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.8</generator>

<image>
	<url>https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/cropped-favicon-sheep-2-32x32.jpg</url>
	<title>social media platform for writers Archives - Kristen Lamb</title>
	<link>https://authorkristenlamb.com/tag/social-media-platform-for-writers/</link>
	<width>32</width>
	<height>32</height>
</image> 
<site xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">124830452</site>	<item>
		<title>Branding for Authors&#8212;When Do We NEED Marketing &#038; Advertising?</title>
		<link>https://authorkristenlamb.com/2017/05/branding-for-authors-when-do-we-need-marketing-advertising/</link>
					<comments>https://authorkristenlamb.com/2017/05/branding-for-authors-when-do-we-need-marketing-advertising/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Kristen Lamb]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 May 2017 16:31:50 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Social Media Platform]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[advertising books]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bad Redhead Media]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[book promotion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[branding for authors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[increasing books sales]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kristen Lamb]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marketing books]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Racheal Thompson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social media platform for writers]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://authorkristenlamb.com/?p=21614</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Okay so last time we talked about experts and why we need to be careful who we are listening to. Sure some &#8220;experts&#8221; are really predators. Others mean well, they just aren&#8217;t a good fit for what an author needs. Here&#8217;s a simple truth that a lot of writers miss and this is so fundamental. &#8230; </p>
<p><a class="more-link btn" href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/2017/05/branding-for-authors-when-do-we-need-marketing-advertising/">Continue reading</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/2017/05/branding-for-authors-when-do-we-need-marketing-advertising/">Branding for Authors&#8212;When Do We NEED Marketing &#038; Advertising?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com">Kristen Lamb</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Screen-Shot-2017-05-09-at-11.10.26-AM.png"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class=" wp-image-21631 aligncenter" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Screen-Shot-2017-05-09-at-11.10.26-AM-300x170.png" alt="" width="468" height="265" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Screen-Shot-2017-05-09-at-11.10.26-AM-300x170.png 300w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Screen-Shot-2017-05-09-at-11.10.26-AM.png 500w" sizes="(max-width: 468px) 100vw, 468px" /></a></p>
<p>Okay so last time we talked about experts and <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/2017/05/social-media-for-authors-beware-of-experts/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">why we need to be careful who we are listening to</a>. Sure some &#8220;experts&#8221; are really predators. Others mean well, they just aren&#8217;t a good fit for what an author needs.</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s a simple truth that a lot of writers miss and this is so fundamental. <strong>Marketing and advertising are NOT brand and platform.</strong> These are not all synonyms and interchangeable.</p>
<p>Brand/Platform and Marketing/Advertising are distinctively different activities and when writers don&#8217;t understand this? They have panic attacks, get overwhelmed and start requesting information on-line for dental hygienist schools while drinking straight from the spout on the boxed wine.</p>
<p>You can do this. Calm down. Breathe.</p>
<p>My expertise is in helping you guys build the brand and the platform. I am NOT an expert on advertising and marketing. I have no interest in being one either. But what can often happen is that writers believe they need marketing and advertising experts when in fact, they are not yet ready for that.</p>
<h2><strong>Brand and Platform</strong></h2>
<p><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/platform2.jpg"><img decoding="async" class="wp-image-12873 aligncenter" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/platform2-224x300.jpg" alt="" width="429" height="575" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/platform2-224x300.jpg 224w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/platform2.jpg 442w" sizes="(max-width: 429px) 100vw, 429px" /></a></p>
<p>Brands can be built any number of ways. In the olden days, brands and platforms for novelists could only be built ONE way. Books. Good books. And the more the better. Since there was no regular interface with an author, the singular interaction one could have with an author was through the stories he/she wrote.</p>
<p>This is STILL the strongest way to create a brand and platform and the reason is this. It takes an average of 12-15 hours of undivided attention to complete a novel. This is a LOT of intimate time with a person. I can&#8217;t remember the last time I spent 12-15 hours of undivided attention with my husband or child. This immersion creates a profound intimacy in regards to the feelings a reader has for the author.</p>
<p>One of the reasons that the mega authors don&#8217;t have to work terribly hard at social media is they already put in their time through lots and lots of BOOKS. I am finishing the unabridged version of Stephen King&#8217;s &#8220;It.&#8221; This means once I finish I will have spent (just with that one book) FOURTY-FIVE HOURS of time with King (and this is not the first King book I have read).</p>
<h3><strong>Thus the successful authors of the pre-digital age came onto the social media scene with an established brand and platform.</strong></h3>
<p>And all social media does is help keep that thriving. Ads and marketing also do very well for these authors because they are already household names. One does not have to be an avid reader or member of a book club to recognize the name J.K. Rowling. Walk through any airport and all you see is James Patterson books.</p>
<p>For the author emerging onto the digital scene who cannot already put NYTBSA in front of her name, who does not have an extensive backlist, there is some work to be done regarding building a brand and platform since you don&#8217;t have one. This is where I come in.</p>
<p>Other than books, how can you establish a brand (what people think when they see your name) and a platform (people who will eventually be interested in buying books). My training is to cultivate that following (those who know you, your voice, your books) and those relationships (those who care) and you can get all of that in one book, <em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Rise-Machines-Human-Authors-Digital-ebook/dp/B00DP7II4A" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Rise of the Machines</a></em>. I also offer training to make your books (product) as strong as possible thereby enhancing your BRAND.</p>
<p><strong>BRAND&#8212;&gt; WHAT IS IT?</strong></p>
<p><strong>PLATFORM&#8212;&gt; THOSE WHO KNOW AND CARE WHAT IT IS</strong></p>
<div id="attachment_12870" style="width: 467px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/platform.jpg"><img decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-12870" class=" wp-image-12870" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/platform-300x201.jpg" alt="" width="467" height="313" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/platform-300x201.jpg 300w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/platform-600x401.jpg 600w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/platform-768x513.jpg 768w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/platform.jpg 787w" sizes="(max-width: 467px) 100vw, 467px" /></a><p id="caption-attachment-12870" class="wp-caption-text">Original image via Wikimedia Commons, courtesy of FEMA</p></div>
<p>The problem with some &#8220;experts&#8221; we mentioned last time is they want to skip steps. We can&#8217;t blast out newsletters to people who don&#8217;t <strong>know</strong> us let alone care to hear from us. We need to do some relationship building and establish trust and rapport.</p>
<p>This is not something that can be outsourced or automated. We need to do the work. And any expert who tries to skip this fundamental step of brand and platform-building? I&#8217;d think twice before handing over money.</p>
<p>Regular companies offering services or products (restaurants, bars, computer services, vegan body wash) can do this, but that is because they have the big budgets to saturate with ads and marketing. Yet, I will point out that most of these ventures fail. When we rely on ad saturation it is expensive and risky.</p>
<p>But we (authors) obviously don&#8217;t stop with just the brand (books/blogs) and platform, and this is where experts REALLY come in handy.</p>
<p>If <strong>brand</strong> is WHAT IS IT? And <strong>platform</strong> is WHO CARES? Then marketing and advertising are simply magnifying these two things that already exist.</p>
<h2><strong>Marketing &amp; Advertising</strong></h2>
<div id="attachment_18372" style="width: 361px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/screen-shot-2015-12-16-at-9-53-48-am.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-18372" class=" wp-image-18372" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/screen-shot-2015-12-16-at-9-53-48-am-230x300.png" alt="" width="361" height="471" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/screen-shot-2015-12-16-at-9-53-48-am-230x300.png 230w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/screen-shot-2015-12-16-at-9-53-48-am.png 320w" sizes="(max-width: 361px) 100vw, 361px" /></a><p id="caption-attachment-18372" class="wp-caption-text">AHHHHHHH!</p></div>
<p>As I just mentioned, marketing and advertising can only enhance what already exists. Ads work for Starbucks because there is one on every corner and they have a known reputation.</p>
<p>Marketing works for Kia because people need cars and see Kias on the road all the time. We know what they are. We KNOW what a Starbucks is. We know what Levis are. We know what all these &#8220;things for sale&#8221; are and probably have formed an opinion or impression&#8230;which is why it makes sense to use advertising and marketing.</p>
<p>As writers, will eventually need marketing and advertising and I am here to deliver a simple yet possibly uncomfortable truth.</p>
<p>Money and time are in a reciprocal relationship. The more time we spend cultivating the brand and the platform, the less money we will have to fork out on marketing and advertising. The less time we spend cultivating the brand and platform the more money we will have to fork out in marketing and advertising.</p>
<h3><strong>See, when we try to make marketing and advertising take the place of the platform and brand? That can get REALLY expensive. </strong></h3>
<p>We can feel free to write the book on our own, never be on social media then hire a marketing team, but the sheer volume of ad saturation it will take to garner attention? That&#8217;s gonna cost big.</p>
<p>I love marketing and advertising people, but here&#8217;s the deal, they are marketers not magicians. The more we do our part (write books, build a social media following, blog), the more they have to work with. The more people already KNOW us. We get a lot more bang for our buck.</p>
<p>A lot of writers are paying lots of money for these large email lists to blast out newsletters to people who don&#8217;t know them and who never signed up to hear from them in the first place.</p>
<p>This has the same ROI as those folks who blast out messages that we have an inheritance in Ghana somewhere if only we will wire five grand via Western Union. Sure, some people DO bite, but you have to send a LOT of emails to get any return.</p>
<p>What then happens is the writer blows through a lot of money needlessly for no real results.</p>
<p>Very often I hear disenchanted authors who gripe the their book isn&#8217;t selling because they don&#8217;t have the mega marketing budgets of the NY heavy hitters. Here&#8217;s the deal though. NYC spends that kind of cash on Stephen King, and George R.R. Martin, and James Patterson because most folks in the Western world recognize the brand.</p>
<p>One doesn&#8217;t have to be an avid reader to know Stephen King writes the scary stuff. These authors have a brand and that makes the ads have a good ROI. To do this for an unknown author? Better to pile cash in the floor and set it on fire (my POV).</p>
<p>Thus, when we are looking for experts we will fare better if we appreciate that brand/platform is separate from ads/marketing. There are some really brilliant book marketing people out there and even dedicated experts like Rachel Thompson who teach writers how to do a lot of this for themselves.</p>
<p>She&#8217;s also a great person to go to to find those folks with the marketing mojo you need for your book and I strongly recommend checking out her blog <a href="http://badredheadmedia.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Bad Redhead Media</a>.</p>
<p>In the end, remember, experts are great when we find the right ones. The cool part about the digital age is we can look around, make friends and get opinions and referrals from those we trust. And yes, &#8220;goofing off&#8221; on Facebook or Instagram is platform building. You are forging relationships. Write the books, make the connections and then, once you are ready? These marketing mavens will be happy to dazzle you!</p>
<p>What are your thoughts? Do you have any pressing questions?</p>
<p>I LOVE hearing from you guys!</p>
<p>****The site is new, and I am sorry you have to enter your information all over again to comment, but I am still working out the kinks. Also <strong>your comment won&#8217;t appear until I approve it, so don&#8217;t fret if it doesn&#8217;t appear right away.</strong></p>
<p>Talk to me!</p>
<h3><strong>And to prove it and show my love, for the month of MAY, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.</strong></h3>
<h3><strong>I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).</strong></h3>
<p><strong>***Will announce April&#8217;s winner next post.</strong></p>
<h2><span style="color: #0000ff;"><strong>SIGN UP <span style="color: #ff0000;">NOW</span> FOR UPCOMING CLASSES!!! </strong></span></h2>
<p><strong>Remember that ALL CLASSES come with a FREE RECORDING so you can listen over and over. So even if you can&#8217;t make it in person? No excuses! All you need is an internet connection!</strong></p>
<h2><em><span style="color: #0000ff;"><strong>BUNDLE DEALS!!! </strong></span></em></h2>
<h2><strong><a href="http://wanaintl.com/event-registration/?ee=523" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Book Bootcamp </a> $99 ($130 VALUE)</strong></h2>
<h2><strong><a href="http://wanaintl.com/event-registration/?ee=524" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Book Bootcamp GOLD</a> $269 ($430 VALUE) This includes the log-line class, antagonist class, the character class AND a three-hour time slot working personally with ME. We will either plot your idea or, if your novel isn&#8217;t working? Fix it! Appointments are scheduled by email. Consults done by phone or in virtual classroom.</strong></h2>
<h2><strong><span style="color: #0000ff;">Individual Classes with MOI!!! </span></strong></h2>
<h2><strong><a href="http://wanaintl.com/event-registration/?ee=515" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Pitch Perfect&#8212;How to Write a Query Letter and Synopsis that SELLS!</a> $45 May 25th, 2017</strong></h2>
<h2><strong><a href="http://wanaintl.com/event-registration/?ee=521" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Bullies &amp; Baddies&#8212;Understanding the Antagonist</a> $50/$200 (Gold) May11th, 2017</strong></h2>
<h2><strong><a href="http://wanaintl.com/event-registration/?ee=522" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Art of Character</a> $45 May 18th, 2017</strong></h2>
<h2><span style="color: #0000ff;"><strong>NEW CLASSES/INSTRUCTORS!!! </strong></span></h2>
<h2><strong><a href="http://wanaintl.com/event-registration/?ee=525" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Growing an Organic Platform on Facebook</a> $40 May 6th, 2017 Lisa Hall-Wilson is BACK! She is an expert on Facebook so check out her class!</strong></h2>
<h2><strong><a href="http://wanaintl.com/event-registration/?ee=526" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Method Acting for Writers: How to Write in Deep POV</a> $85 for this TWO WEEK intensive workshop with editor and writing instructor Lisa Hall Wilson.</strong></h2>
<h2><a href="http://wanaintl.com/event-registration/?ee=527" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Shift Your Shifter Romance into HIGH Gear </a>$35 May 19th with powerhouse editor Cait Reynolds.</h2>
<h2><a href="http://wanaintl.com/event-registration/?ee=528" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Researching for Historical Romance (How to NOT Lose 6 Hours of Your Life on Pinterest)</a> $35 May 20th</h2>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><strong><span style="color: #0000ff;">For those who need help building a platform and keeping it SIMPLE, pick up a copy of my latest social media/branding book<em> <span style="color: #ff0000;">Rise of the Machines&#8212;Human Authors in a Digital World</span></em> on</span> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Rise-Machines-Human-Authors-Digital-ebook/dp/B00DP7II4A/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1408979136&amp;sr=8-2&amp;keywords=Rise+of+the+machines" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">AMAZON</a>, <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/rise-of-the-machines/id727223890?mt=11" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">iBooks</a>, or <a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/rise-of-the-machines-kristen-lamb/1117165949?ean=2940148405238" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Nook</a>. </strong></h3>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3></h3>
<p>The post <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/2017/05/branding-for-authors-when-do-we-need-marketing-advertising/">Branding for Authors&#8212;When Do We NEED Marketing &#038; Advertising?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com">Kristen Lamb</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
					<wfw:commentRss>https://authorkristenlamb.com/2017/05/branding-for-authors-when-do-we-need-marketing-advertising/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>35</slash:comments>
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">21614</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Making Writing a Priority &#038; When Helping is Hurting</title>
		<link>https://authorkristenlamb.com/2014/08/making-writing-a-priority-when-helping-is-hurting/</link>
					<comments>https://authorkristenlamb.com/2014/08/making-writing-a-priority-when-helping-is-hurting/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Kristen Lamb]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 Aug 2014 15:59:15 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Organization and Productivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Success]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Writer's Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[balancing day job family and writing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being a successful writer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[codependency]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kristen Lamb]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rise of the Machines Human Authors in a Digital World]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social media platform for writers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[time management for writers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WANA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[We Are Not alone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[when helping hurts]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/?p=15994</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>The weird thing about the new paradigm of publishing is the Digital Age Author is a very different creature. She might be a single mom trying to squeeze in a couple hundred words before the kids wake up or a husband struggling to fit in a writing burst during a lunch break. It can be a dad striving to finish his book while still caring for his family. Maybe it's a retired person balancing living a dream of writing while caring for grandkids.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/2014/08/making-writing-a-priority-when-helping-is-hurting/">Making Writing a Priority &#038; When Helping is Hurting</a> appeared first on <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com">Kristen Lamb</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/screen-shot-2014-08-06-at-10-35-49-am.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter  wp-image-15996" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/screen-shot-2014-08-06-at-10-35-49-am.png" alt="Screen Shot 2014-08-06 at 10.35.49 AM" width="393" height="630" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/screen-shot-2014-08-06-at-10-35-49-am.png 427w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/screen-shot-2014-08-06-at-10-35-49-am-187x300.png 187w" sizes="(max-width: 393px) 100vw, 393px" /></a></p>
<p>The weird thing about the new paradigm of publishing is the Digital Age Author is a very different creature. She might be a single mom trying to squeeze in a couple hundred words before the kids wake up or a husband struggling to fit in a writing burst during a lunch break. It can be a dad striving to finish his book while still caring for his family. Maybe it&#8217;s a retired person balancing <em>FINALLY</em> pursuing that dream of writing&#8230;while caring for grandkids.</p>
<p>Which is to say that <strong>a lot</strong> of part and full-time writers are also caregivers. Many of us wrestle with guilt. I do. I love writing SO MUCH and it is SO FUN.  But if I write instead of finishing laundry I am &#8220;bad&#8221; <img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f641.png" alt="🙁" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /> .</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve learned a rather weird lesson lately and I believe it&#8217;s worth pondering. <a href="https://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/reduce-stress-increase-joy-productivity-why-is-simple-so-hard/" target="_blank">We talked about workaholics the other day.</a> It is no great feat for us workhorses to take on MORE WORK. The true challenge is when we&#8217;re given the choice of a great opportunity and a nap and we are directed to take the NAP.</p>
<p>AAAAGHHHHH!!!!!</p>
<p>I am learning the same thing with givers. WANA is truly unique and I don&#8217;t say this because I started it (because frankly, I didn&#8217;t). WANA was actually birthed by people who took my classes. They were natural givers. The only &#8220;special&#8221; thing I did was spot this phenomena and then nurture it. WANAs are SO generous and kind and supportive and it is the greatest collection of amazing individuals one can find.</p>
<p>But lately I&#8217;m starting to see the dark side to giving. Every strength has a blind spot. Remember this when creating characters <img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f609.png" alt="😉" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /> .</p>
<p>And the easy blind spot for givers is that we overdo it and wear ourselves out. Yeah, I saw that too. But one that snuck by me is that giving is not always good. NOT GIVING can be the greater gift.</p>
<p>I grew up with a Scandinavian mom and Norway is the motherland of OCD. Work was what we did and we made it fun. But I recall being 4 and making my bed. Mom would praise me, then remake my bed so it didn&#8217;t have all the lumps and the bedspread was even. Later, when I was 8, I loaded the dishwasher. Mom would thank me…then rearrange the dishes to wash more efficiently. I&#8217;d organize a closet and she&#8217;d be THRILLED…then redo it. Finally, in 2009 I made a Christmas dinner and Mom tasted it, and then reasoned everything and I snapped.</p>
<p><em>Why must you redo everything I do? Why isn&#8217;t what I do ever good enough?</em></p>
<p>My mom was speechless (which she&#8217;s like me so that&#8217;s actually a HUGE deal). In her mind, she&#8217;d been &#8220;helping&#8221; me.</p>
<p><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/screen-shot-2014-07-25-at-9-36-04-am.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter  wp-image-15893" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/screen-shot-2014-07-25-at-9-36-04-am.png" alt="Screen Shot 2014-07-25 at 9.36.04 AM" width="450" height="445" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/screen-shot-2014-07-25-at-9-36-04-am.png 586w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/screen-shot-2014-07-25-at-9-36-04-am-100x100.png 100w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/screen-shot-2014-07-25-at-9-36-04-am-300x297.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px" /></a></p>
<p>I have family and friends who are in real rough spots these days, people I sacrificed A LOT to &#8220;help.&#8221; In retrospect, I should have left it alone. By helping, I didn&#8217;t allow them to fail and learn lessons when the lessons were far smaller and the consequences for failure far less painful. I also stole the possible victory they might have enjoyed if they&#8217;d accomplished &#8220;whatever&#8221; on their own.</p>
<p>I didn&#8217;t mean to. I was &#8220;helping.&#8221;</p>
<p>So what I&#8217;m challenging all of us to do is to look for ways to give by NOT GIVING. Write the book. Don&#8217;t &#8220;fix.&#8221; Don&#8217;t &#8220;do&#8221; beyond the writing. Once the words are down, have at it.</p>
<p>The other day, I sent Hubby to the store instead of doing it myself. Did he shop the way <em>I would have shopped</em>? No. I can make a penny scream. Hubby pays retail *twitches* But he did it and I kept my mouth shut when I SO wanted to tell him how he could have saved money by doing this or that or go to this store instead of that one and NEVER THAT one, they gouge!</p>
<p>I also asked Hubby to help Spawn with his martial arts in the evening so I can write. And this is excruciating because I taught martial arts for years. I need to mentally duct tape my mouth shut and not correct how Hubby&#8217;s teaching him and show a &#8220;better or easier way.&#8221;</p>
<p>Me doing everything is not a gift. It&#8217;s control. It can disempower others. It also steals the joy of contribution and the thrill of accomplishment.</p>
<p>When a friend has a problem, resist the urge to fix. Instead, say, &#8220;Wow, that&#8217;s a huge challenge, but I know you can figure this out. You can do it!&#8221;</p>
<p><a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/screen-shot-2014-08-06-at-10-26-43-am.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter  wp-image-15995" src="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/screen-shot-2014-08-06-at-10-26-43-am.png" alt="Screen Shot 2014-08-06 at 10.26.43 AM" width="495" height="596" srcset="https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/screen-shot-2014-08-06-at-10-26-43-am.png 614w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/screen-shot-2014-08-06-at-10-26-43-am-600x722.png 600w, https://authorkristenlamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/screen-shot-2014-08-06-at-10-26-43-am-249x300.png 249w" sizes="(max-width: 495px) 100vw, 495px" /></a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>This morning, I let Spawn make his own PBJ sandwich instead of making the &#8220;perfect&#8221; sandwich served on an adorable clean plate with decorative garnish. I even said <em>nothing</em> when he piled on half a jar of jelly. I merely smiled and exclaimed, &#8220;Great job!&#8221; ….then walked away before I scraped most of the jelly lump back in the jar.</p>
<p>Writers crumble at building a brand or doing social media and writing. Why? We fail to see we have help. Outsource. Maybe see if there are ways that we can make our family part of our publishing team. Let the teenagers find the funny memes or videos to use on a blog. Let them be part of the success instead of shouldering everything alone. Let Hubby go check out book covers and see which ones catch his eye. Maybe let a family member do some research for you. Also, let them know that when they leave you to write, they are helping write the book. They are helping the creation process.</p>
<p>This is a lot to ask. Of you of me…and OH DEAR GOD SPAWN IS NOW MAKING A JELLY SANDWICH WITH NO PEANUT BUTTER! HOLD ON! ….*breathes* I&#8217;m cool. Still here.</p>
<p>What are your thoughts? Do you suffer from Compulsive Helping Disorder? Are you struggling to let others help YOU, to ask for help? GASP! Did you ever think your helping could be hurting? I didn&#8217;t until recently so it&#8217;s okay. We are all friends here and I have jelly in my curtains and I am OK with that.</p>
<p>****Please pray for me *head desk*</p>
<p>I LOVE hearing from you!</p>
<p>To prove it and show my love, for the month of AUGUST, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly. I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).</p>
<p>Will announce July&#8217;s winner later this week.</p>
<p><strong>ANNOUNCEMENTS:</strong></p>
<p><strong>For those who need help building a platform and keeping it SIMPLE here&#8217;s my newest social media book, <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Rise-Machines-Authors-Digital-ebook/dp/B00DP7II4A/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1372508911&amp;sr=8-4&amp;keywords=Rise+of+the+Machines+human" target="_blank">Rise of the Machines–Human Authors in a Digital World is NOW AVAILABLE</a>. Only $6.99.</em></strong></p>
<p><span style="color:#0000ff;"><strong>I</strong><strong> have a new class series <span style="color:#333399;"><a href="http://wanaintl.com/current-classes-2/" target="_blank"><span style="color:#333399;">GOING PRO&#8212;Craft, Business and Brand.</span></a></span> Take one or all three for a discount. <span style="color:#ff0000;">Also use WANA15 for $15 off.</span> Each class discusses the CORE ESSENTIALS. What is the essence of great writing? What is the heart of a brand/social media? What are the basics of publishing when so many options are available?</strong></span></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com/2014/08/making-writing-a-priority-when-helping-is-hurting/">Making Writing a Priority &#038; When Helping is Hurting</a> appeared first on <a href="https://authorkristenlamb.com">Kristen Lamb</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
					<wfw:commentRss>https://authorkristenlamb.com/2014/08/making-writing-a-priority-when-helping-is-hurting/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>96</slash:comments>
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">15994</post-id>	</item>
	</channel>
</rss>

<!--
Performance optimized by W3 Total Cache. Learn more: https://www.boldgrid.com/w3-total-cache/?utm_source=w3tc&utm_medium=footer_comment&utm_campaign=free_plugin

Object Caching 72/239 objects using Redis
Page Caching using Disk: Enhanced 

Served from: authorkristenlamb.com @ 2026-06-14 01:40:38 by W3 Total Cache
-->