Meltdowns, frequently referred to as “autistic meltdowns” actually happen all along the ND (neurodivergent) spectrum, meaning ADD and ADHD people are certainly not immune. And, if you read my last post Neurodivergent Authors: Not Lazy or “Broken,” I expressed my fairly educated hypothesis/concern that many creative professionals likely fall somewhere along the ASD spectrum.

What does this mean?

Probably a lot of folks who read this blog have spent years attributing their irritability, stress, and possibly even full on implosions/tantrums solely to being introverts, unaware there are other neurological factors in play.

Factors, that, for the record, are completely manageable once we become aware of them.

For years, I had people around me accuse me of having an anger problem. While there were certainly times in my life this might have been applicable (I AM human), it didn’t always apply.

I’d be fine, fine, fine, less fine, not fine, red-lining then BOOM!

Often it might begin as generalized anxiety/irritability then would shift into me getting curt and (seemingly out of nowhere) BOOM! Crying, hysterical, threatening to live in my blanket fort forever and ever and everyone sucked eggs and needed to leave me alone lest I leap off a water tower.

What? I’m a writer. We can be dramatic. And they ARE called “meltdowns” not “fluffy kitten pillow-downs.”

***Though NOT ALL ND people have the same KIND of meltdowns. Hubby is autistic and he just shuts down. Seriously. Ctrl Alt Delete doesn’t even work. He says nothing, does nothing and just goes into a mental cave that even DYNAMITE doesn’t work on.

Understand Introversion vs. Extroversion

Before we go any further, I would like to clarify a point because I see this misused all the time and it makes my left eye twitch. Social anxiety is NOT the same as introversion.

The ONLY difference between an introvert and an extrovert is how/where you gain/lose energy.

PERIOD.

If you need to be around people to charge your emotional batteries and being alone too much drains you? Then you are an extrovert. And likely an author who really LOVES writing in bustling coffee shops #KillMeNow.

Conversely, if you require alone time to recharge and being around people drains you, then you are an introvert. Whenever I speak at a conference I am probably one of the most high-energy speakers you’ll ever see present. I love people, enjoy getting and remembering everyone’s names, want to hear all about your life, hopes, dreams, stories, setbacks, and brownie recipes.

YET…

Whenever I get home, I have to slip into something more comfortable…like a COMA.

There are people with severe social anxiety who love to hang out in mosh pits or stand with a drink in a crowd of five hundred people listening to live music.

And, as I just mentioned, there are people like me who never met a stranger and could talk the ear off a brass monkey…but we NEED downtime lest we crash.

Most people (who are not locked up in an institution) are actually ambiverts. It is pretty rare to have a pure extrovert or introvert.

For more on this, go to: Myth-Busting—The Real Difference Between Introverts & Extroverts & Meet the Ambivert

Meltdowns & Are You REALLY an Introvert?

Again, most people will be some mixture of introvert and extrovert. The far ends of the bell curve usually cannot function in society. This said, if you go back to my last post I talked about autism.

To reiterate, “If you have met one autistic person, you have met ONE autistic person.”

To grossly oversimplify autism, it is a sensory processing disorder. For me, the world is brighter, louder, itchier, yuckier and far more chaotic than it is for “normal” people (a.k.a. Neurotypical or NT). NT people don’t have a fit wearing a headband, or go bananas because there…is….a…tag on their shirt…that…KILL IT WITH FIRE!

The sheer levels of energy it takes for us ND people to “appear” normal could power a small city. This is why, to a degree, I am all for CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). I “get” that the world cannot always accommodate me and I have to learn some workarounds and to TRY to fit in the best I can.

That said? The rest of the world can learn some compassion, too.

Hey, we did it with left-handed people! Just give them a special notebook instead of beating them with rulers and telling them they were demon spawn.

Evolve.

Where was I?

Yes, the world is a very over-stimulating place for ND people. Meaning, we “might” be extroverts and it is just the fluorescent lights, the traffic noise, the constant binging on the phones, the noises on the computers, the AC going on and off and on and off and WHAT IS WITH THAT GUY WITH THE LEAF BLOWER?

So, just a thought. You might be an introvert, might not. Doesn’t really matter after you read all of this anyway.

Meltdowns: What is Going ON?

Back when I struggled with what I didn’t know at the time were autistic meltdowns, I was VERY bad about being self-aware of a) how stimulated/overstimulated I was b) how tired/overworked I was and c) that I needed to do better pre-planning.

When I found out about autistic meltdowns, I also uncovered The Spoon Theory.

Anyone who’s followed me any length of time knows that I am a giver. I LOVE to give. I’ll take a call, run an errand, help a friend, teach a class, crochet for the needy. You name it? SIGN…ME…UP.

Or not.

This could just be me (and I also can blame the ADHD and OCD) but I tend to have terrible self-awareness. Why? Because I am paying SO MUCH ATTENTION to the world around me.

Social cues? What are those?

I have to put so much energy into reading the room and “fitting in” that all my energy can end up directed outwards.

Y’all have NO IDEA how many sticky notes are fluttering inside my head.

Kristen, let other people talk.

Take turns…wait for it….wait for it….

LISTEN to what they are saying to you.

Where is that leaf blower noise coming from?

Don’t say the thing everyone probably thinking but will get you in trouble (again).

Is that joke appropriate, or a good way to get a visit from HR?

Why did I HAVE to wear HAIR CLIPS? I can feel my BRAIN.

Use your hands to gesture so you don’t look like a robot.

BACK UP! ABORT! Too much hands! ABORT!

Her outfit is nice but not nearly as nice as the one she wore three weeks ago. It was blue and I normally don’t like blue….

Kristen, let them leave. Make friends don’t take hostages.

What was the topic? FOCUS.

Don’t be weird. Don’t be weird. Don—DANG IT! You HAD to talk about the Black Plague, didn’t you?

Maybe no one here can relate, but you can write characters who DO.

Only So Many Fu-Spoons to Give

Moving on…

Though obviously I recommend the link above, The Spoon Theory applies to anyone who is dealing with chronic pain, a chronic illness, dealing with grief/loss, or who might have sensory issues like those of us in the Special Unique Snowflake Fruit Salad that is ASD.

To give you the gist, we only have so many spoons of energy and it is wise for us to a) plan how to use them b) be aware when we are using them and c) take time to get away to refill them.

For instance, I can be accused of a lot of things, but lazy is not one of those things. When I took a good look at my Things To Do List? Let’s just say it or I was just a little bit…insane.

Since I have worked from home for over 20 years, I had (and still have) zero idea what might be “normal,” let’s just say “normal” not my wheelhouse.

Those who know me will tell you I can be mostly dead and will push through anyway (frequently to the detriment of my health). At least this was the case until recently.

Before I realized what a flaming idiot how foolish I was being, I felt I just needed more willpower. I had no concept that not only was my list too long, and my standards to high, but that I needed to chill…the hell…OUT.

I was having meltdowns because I struggle with admitting I even have limitations, let alone living within them. The ADHD means I use lists and timers to stay on task and the OCD tells me I must do all the things…perfectly.

But, I am improving.

Example One (LIFE):

Yesterday, I recruited Spawn (14 year-old son) to help me detail the bathrooms. I had to clean out 10+ years of detritus that had collected under and in cabinets because the clutter was wrecking my ability to quickly and easily keep things clean and organized.

***For the record, the picture above is NOT my bathroom, merely how my demented/perfectionist mind THINKS my bathroom looks.

Anyway…

Not only did I ask for help (WINNING!) but I also stopped after the bathrooms. Normally, my ADHD self would have had to put something into the closet, seen THAT was a mess, pulled all of THAT out and…BOOM!

Meltdown.

As I say often about writing:

Perfect is the enemy of the finished.

I’m learning that, if I wish to go more granular on my organizing/cleaning, I can. On another day. Trust me, the junk will still be there. And, if I pace myself, I can do a little every day and keep that junk from having babies.

Example Two (WORK):

Though I didn’t yet have an official diagnosis, back in May when I went to speak in Boise, ID, I operated off the idea that I was, in fact, ND.

My presentations often are slotted at either the beginning of the day or the end of the day. The reason? I put off so much energy, I get people HOPPED UP! I make people laugh and move and participate and it is a lot of fun.

That said, I attend other speakers’ presentations out of professional courtesy, and also because I don’t know everything.

I know! *shock face*

Anyway, on Day 2 of the conference, I’d been traveling and walking and speaking and paying attention and then lunchtime came. My presentation was at like 2:00 (when everyone needs a NAP, me included).

I walked all the way from the conference center to the bustling restaurant before it hit me.

I was exhausted.

Any other conference, I would have ignored all my sensors flashing RED, gone in and socialized with all the writers, despite the crowds, noise and lights.

***Refer to visual representation of Kristen in image above.

This time? I did what I’d never done before and told Troy Lambert (my friend and co-author of our anthology WTH Did I Just READ?) I needed a “time out.” I walked all the way BACK to the conference center then sat alone in my noise canceling headphones and regrouped.

This was the ONLY conference in 15 years that I made it home perfectly healthy. Since I kept a better eye on my energy levels, I didn’t tank myself.

Also, when everything that could go wrong DID go wrong in my presentation (with the technology)? I held it together and was able to stick-and-move. Had I not recharged, it would have been a disaster.

Meltdowns: Other Issues

We might be having meltdowns because we’re overstimulated, overtired, etc. etc. Yet, here is another insidious problem we might have a harder time dealing with.

Learn to set boundaries and enforce them.

I tend to be far too accommodating for my own good. I’ll set a boundary then, when others stomp all over it, I tell them it’s okay.

No, it isn’t.

When I do that, not only am I saying my time/space/boundaries have no meaning and it is okay to walk all over me, but I am ALSO confusing those around me with mixed messages.

Say, I need to write and I tell my family to leave me be until noon. They keep walking in and out and asking for things and for me to make nibblies and to ask me a question and I am all, “No, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s….

*Kristen grows 25 feet, morphing into LAMBZILLA*

I WILL THROW YOU IN THE ENDLESS PIT OF LEGOS AND SUFFERING IF YOU INTERRUPT ME ONE MORE TIME!

Unfair to me, and confusing and unkind to others.

And, if you’re ND, then wobbly boundaries almost guarantees regular meltdowns.

Meltdowns and the Holidays

Tis the Season to Go Psycho…

The world is far more fast-paced than ever in human history. It is also unsustainable, but that is another post. In the meantime—until SkyNet comes for us—we are going to have to be intentional.

I still have a day job writing and editing. I’m also a housewife who does all the shopping, cooking and cleaning. Additionally, I homeschool a 9th grader. If Santa Claus came down my chimney any other year I might have set his beard on fire.

Spoooons.

This year, now that I know better? I am only putting out so many decorations, only giving so many gifts, and instead of singing Fa-La-La-La La? I’m saying NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NOOOOO!

Sort and prioritize. These are the SUPER important things and worthy of spoons. This stuff? A maybe. That stuff? Only if I have enough spoons.

Lest I end up hiding in a festive blanket fort weeping, washing down raw sugar cookie dough and sprinkles with a bottle of real eggnog…

What are Your Thoughts on Meltdowns?

Meltdowns…not just for toddlers anymore. Did you understand what it really means to be an introvert/extrovert? Were you possibly blaming a bit too much on being an introvert? Do you SUCK at being self-aware/doing self-care?

If you do have meltdowns, are yours the thermo-nuclear-everyone-get-under-that-50s-school-desk kind? Or are you like my husband and just kind of short-circuit and need time to reboot? Maybe somewhere in between?

Have you ever heard of The Spoon Theory? Any other suggestions, thoughts, ideas?

Here is a video from a gal I watched before going through the official diagnosis process. Obviously not all ND people are the same, but what she talked about SO SPOKE to me (enough to where I made sure to get professionally tested).

Maybe this will help you or someone you love, OR hey we need more ND characters so here is a peek inside our heads…

The post Meltdowns: Chaos & the Neurodivergent Author appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Last time I wrote about stress and how it can kill creativity. Many “normal” people (code for “non writers”) see our job as play, as fun. They really don’t grasp what goes into creating the stories they all enjoy and that it is a lot of work. Also, because our field is so subjective, writers must endure an onslaught of “enemies” no one else can see because often they are in our head. Sometimes, in our effort to produce the best work we can, we invite in a very dangerous enemy.

Meet….Perfect.

All of us want to do a good job. We want to put our best foot forward. We all say that we want feedback and critique, but deep down, if we are real honest, we want people to love everything we say and do. Unfortunately, this isn’t the reality. We can’t please everyone, and it is easy to fall into a people-pleasing trap that will steal our passion, our art, and our very identity.

I’ve seen this happen time and time again with writers. They rework and rework and rework the first chapter of their novel, trying to make it “perfect”—which is actually code for “making everyone happy.” Here is the thing. Not gonna happen. Ever. Oh and trust me, I am giving this lecture to myself as much as anyone.

One person will say our book is too wordy. Another wants more description. We add more description and then another person is slashing through, slaughtering every adjective and metaphor.

Lessons from Aesop

I find it interesting that some of my favorite childhood stories were about character issues that I’ve struggled with my entire life. My favorite story Old Man Whickett’s Donkey and was loosely based off one of Aesop’s fables, The Man, The Boy and The Donkey. The story in a nutshell is this.

An old man and his grandson head to market with their donkey carrying bags of grain for sale. A passerby says, “What a fool. Why buy a donkey if you aren’t going to ride him?” In response to the critic, Old Man Whickett and the boy load up and ride the donkey into the next town where another passerby says, “You cruel lazy people. That poor donkey carrying all that weight. You should be ashamed.” So Old Man Whickett and the boy dismount and carry the bags of grain and the donkey (which seriously freaked out the donkey).

Anyway—and I am probably butchering this story, but give me a break, I’ve slept since I was five—Old Man Whickett and the boy keep trying to please everyone who passes and what happens?

The bags of grain burst open and spill all over the road from being moved around so much (and in Aesop’s version the donkey falls in the river and drowns). They never make it to market and all of them are exhausted and half-dead from trying to please everyone.

Moral of the tale?

Try to please everyone and we please no one.

The Fine Line of Fools

We have to walk what I will call the Fine Line of Fools. There are two different types of fools. There are fools who plunge ahead and don’t ask for any feedback and ignore anyone who tries to warn there might be a problem. But then there is the other type of fool who can never seem to make up her mind. She keeps changing direction every time someone has an opinion (been there, done that).

All of us are in danger of being one kind of fool or another. While the wise writer is open to critique, she also needs to know when to stand her ground. If she doesn’t learn to stand firm, that’s when the donkey hitches a ride.

I would love to tell you guys I’ve never been either of those fools, but I don’t dig getting struck with lightning.

Perfectionism and People-Pleasing Mask Fear

I have learned through a lot of trial, error and stupidity that perfectionism and people-pleasing really are just an extension of fear. If we get everyone’s opinion about our book, web site, blog, color of fingernail polish, if someone else doesn’t like it, then we don’t have to own it.

“Well, that wasn’t my idea. That was Such and Such’s idea.”

We Can’t Please EVERYONE

Over the weekend I took a short family trip to get away and reset my head after the trauma of last month. I love mysteries and detective novels so I hastily just downloaded a book Audible recommended to me based on other books I’d enjoyed. I had never head of the author but there were 14K reviews and overall 4 stars.

So I started listening and the story was just moving at a snail’s pace. In my opinion it was wordy and pretentious and gave me no good sense of place. I kept listening for three hours until I just could’t give any more time to the book. When I looked the book up again, I realized that the author was actually the legend J.K. Rowling writing under a pen name.

I thought that it had to be me. I was just being picky. Maybe I hadn’t turned off my editor’s brain. But when I glanced at the one and two-star reviews, the commenters were saying the same things I was feeling about the story.

But isn’t that just more than a little amazing?

Not that poor J.K. had to endure one-star reviews, but that she isn’t…wait for it….wait for it…she isn’t perfect. Even the famed J.K. Rowling can’t write a book that pleases everyone. Many other readers (far more actually) enjoyed the book. So good for her! She still did her job and did it well.

***As a quick side note this is one of the many, many reasons I never leave a review unless I can give it four stars. There is a person on the other side of that review and for all I know it really could just be me. Maybe Mercury is in retrograde, my underwear is too tight, or I needed to try this book after a vacation.

Learn to Drop the Donkey

In this new publishing world, all of us need to learn to be leaders and leaders own everything, the good and the bad. That is no easy task, and I have to admit there are times my neck starts hurting and I get this lower back pain and then I realize…I’M CARRYING THE FREAKING DONKEY! DROP THE DONKEY, YOU IDIOT!

We have to be aware that there are jerks and there are also people mean well. Humans offer constructive criticism to show love, even if there is nothing wrong. I’ve seen perfect works of fiction get eviscerated by well-meaning “helpful” critique groups.

This is why it is critical to really understand the rules of writing, why it is essential to really know what our book is about, and to learn to be confident in our brand. This way, when well-meaning folk offer us poles and twine to tie up the donkey on a sledge, we can say, “No, thanks. I think my donkey can walk.”

This is one of the many reasons I love for authors to have a blog. It really does help us develop rhino skin and trains us to publish even when the writing isn’t worthy of a Pulitzer. One mantra I have when I find I am afraid to move forward is:

Perfect is the enemy of the good.

So are you carrying the donkey? Do you find him difficult to drop? Do you fall into the trap of carrying your donkey? I know I am a notorious donkey-toter, but getting better every day. What tools, suggestion or advice would you offer to other who struggle with their respective donkeys? What are warning signs that you are carrying a donkey?

I LOVE hearing from you!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of AUGUST, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly. I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

rattheearnestpainter is JULY’s WINNER! Please send me your 5000 word WORD document, double spaced and in 12 point Times New Roman to kristen at wana intl dot com! Congratulations! You can also choose to send a one-page query letter (250 words) or three-page synopsis (750 words) instead.

Check out the other NEW classes below! 

All W.A.N.A. classes are on-line and all you need is an internet connection. Recordings are included in the class price.

Upcoming Classes

Blogging for Authors  (August 26th) will teach you all you need to know to start an author blog good for going the distance. Additionally I would also recommend the class offered earlier that same week (August 22nd) Branding for Authors to help you with the BIG picture. These classes will benefit you greatly because most blogs will fail because writers waste a lot of time with stuff that won’t work and never will and that wastes a lot of time.

I am here to help with that .

We are doing ANOTHER round of Battle of the First Pages!!! August 5th THIS FRIDAY!

The first time we did this we had some tech issues doing this new format and we’ve since worked those out, but for now I am still keeping the price low ($25) until we get this streamlined to my tastes.

LIMITED SEATS. This is an open workshop where each person will submit his or her first page of the manuscript for critique. I will read the page aloud and “gong” where I would have stopped reading and explain why. This is an interactive workshop designed to see what works or what doesn’t. Are you ready to test your page in the fire?

Hooking the Reader—Your First Five Pages August 12th

The first five pages are the most essential part of the novel, your single most powerful selling tool. It’s how you will hook agents, editors and readers. This class will cover the most common blunders and also teach you how to hook hard and hook early. This class is 90 minutes long, 60 minutes of instruction and 30 minutes for Q&A.

Your First Five Pages Gold Level

This includes the webinar and a detailed critique your first five pages.

Your First Five Pages Platinum Level

This includes the webinar and a detailed critique of your first twenty pages.

Bullies & Baddies—Understanding the Antagonist September 2nd–September 2nd

All fiction must have a core antagonist. The antagonist is the reason for the story problem, but the term “antagonist” can be highly confusing. Without a proper grasp of how to use antagonists, the plot can become a wandering nightmare for the author and the reader.

This class will help you understand how to create solid story problems (even those writing literary fiction) and then give you the skills to layer conflict internally and externally.

Bullies & Baddies—Understanding the Antagonist Gold

This is a personal workshop to make sure you have a clear story problem. And, if you don’t? I’ll help you create one and tell the story you want to tell. This is done by phone/virtual classroom and by appointment. Expect to block off at least a couple hours.

For those who need help building a platform and keeping it SIMPLE, pick up a copy of my latest social media/branding book Rise of the Machines—Human Authors in a Digital World on AMAZON, iBooks, or Nook. 

The post Is Perfectionism Killing Your Success? appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Image of “Patches” via LaurieSanders60 WANA Commons

We have already discussed four enemies of the art–Approval Addiction, Psychic Vampires, F.E.A.R, and pride. What I find so fascinating is how all of these enemies seem to link together, forming a net that can ensnare us, trapping our muse and strangling her. When we are addicted to approval, we are far more likely to tolerate Psychic Vampires. Psychic Vampires feed off drama, conflict and misery and one of their favorite weapons is F.E.A.R. These types of people love using fear. Why? Because as humans we are wired to combat fear, and Psychic Vampires use this to their advantage.

When we are upset, our brains default to limbic mode—fight or flight. Unfortunately, we can’t operate in the primal brain and the higher thinking centers at the same time. This means that, in the reptile brain, we are prone to making dumb decisions. If a Psychic Vampire can keep us rattled, frightened and upset, we are far more likely to give in, to let them have their way because we are just trying to escape. The really bad part about this limbic mode is it’s great for fight or flight, but creativity can’t dwell there.

This is one of the major reasons that we must clean house and remove toxic people if we want to be successful.

It seems so easy, doesn’t it? When I write this here in black and white, it makes sense. If it is so simple, why don’t we do it? Pride often makes us prone to think we can handle more than is healthy. We aren’t being honest that we need rest, because we want others to see us as strong, or more put-together than we really are.

Another reason for this poor judgement (and far more common)? Plain and simple. We’re tired. Rest is critical for so many things. When we rest, we can calm down. When we can calm down, we gain clarity. When we gain clarity, it’s easier to recognize then remove toxic people. When we rest, we can start to see our agendas more clearly.

Am I doing this for me, or to PLEASE/APPEASE someone else?

Give Ourselves Permission to Rest

In our Western culture we are all go, go, go, go, GO! AND GO FASTER! Vacations are frowned upon. We feel like we need to be productive every waking hour, yet this is a LIE.

Busy work and productivity aren’t the same thing. A hamster can run in his tiny wheel all day long and get nowhere. So can we. We can be so tired we fail to discern the urgent from the important. Everyone wants everything instantly and we need to set firm boundaries.

I’ve had people who just pushed and pushed and pushed to get what they wanted immediately. You know what I had to learn to say?

I AM NOT McDonalds. I have no MAKE-YOU-HAPPY MEALS and no drive-thru.

We have to be firm and be in charge our our own agendas. People can learn to wait. In fact, it might be good for them.

Understand Your Brain

The human mind is essentially a dual-processing unit. It’s always taking in information, sorting, making connections even when we are working on other things. The only way the mind can truly work its magic is if we back off the throttle. Some of the greatest inventions in human history didn’t come while in the lab, sitting at the piano, or hunched over a typewriter. The ideas came during a nap, on a walk or in a warm, relaxing shower. The body and mind could relax enough for the AHA! moment.

It isn’t Goofing Off; It’s WORK

For writers, reading is essential. So is watching movies, traveling, going for a walk or even attending a party and joining in (or eavesdropping) on conversations. This is all the “data” we feed into our brain, the ingredients we give it to mix together to create the magic. Don’t berate yourself for watching a movie or playing with your kids. Great writers LIVE LIFE and that’s why their characters sound like people…NOT characters.

What are your thoughts? Are you chronically overworked? Do you have a hard time just resting? Does it make you feel lazy? Is it hard for you to simply play? Have you overcome these feelings? How did you repair your distorted relationship with rest? What ways do you employ to ensure you are rested?

I love hearing from you!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of February, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

And also, winners have a limited time to claim the prize, because what’s happening is there are actually quite a few people who never claim the critique, so I never know if the spam folder ate it or to look for it and then people miss out. I will also give my corporate e-mail to insure we connect and I will only have a week to return the 20 page edit.

At the end of February I will pick a winner for the monthly prize. Good luck!

January’s WINNER will be announced Monday.

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.

The post Enemies of the Art Part 5–Fatigue appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Is this what your insides look like? (photo courtesy of magicpoolservices.com )

Writers are not exactly the poster children for health and wellness. We are known for overindulgence, whether that is coffee, alcohol, nicotine or even self-pity. Too many of us are cramped and huddled over a keyboard, multi-tasking a bazillion things at one time. We edit our WIP while our child uses our knee for a chew toy. We balance the phone against our ear to pay the bills while we try to cull through the 369 e-mails that magically appeared in our In Box while we slept. We seem to always be going full steam and in a thousand directions.

The problem is that this is not a good way for anyone to live, particularly creative people.  Our best work will come when we are centered, fit, and healthy.

I used to do an hour of yoga a day. Hey, I was single with no children and all I did was edit manuscripts and write copy for a living. My time was my own.  Of course, yoga was likely the only thing I did that was healthy. I had a long list of really unhealthy habits including too much coffee and wine and too little sleep. I burned the candle at both ends and ate like hell. In the end, that poor living left me a neurotic and unproductive mess.

I seem to have this penchant for learning by doing everything wrong, but, hey, at least I am good for something. So, today I will give you guys a handful of tips to help you guys remain fit, centered, and healthy. I learned all this stuff the hard way so you don’t have to.

Learn to Limit Caffeine and Sugar

I used to be the poster child for energy drinks. What those companies don’t tell you, though, is that guarana, ginsing and ginkoba can give you anxiety, depression and mood swings. Sure they help us feel perky and the brain feels clearer, but if we come to rely on those kinds of drinks, we tax our adrenal system. These herbs can stay in the system and interfere with getting restful sleep. Sugar is highly corrosive to the body and can cause all kinds of disease and premature aging. We can have sugar, but living off it is a bad plan.

I drink two cups of coffee a day, but my last cup is no later than noon. I used to suffer terribly from insomnia, and this practice of limiting caffeine and sugar has helped tremendously.

Exercise

Oh, I’m such a nag! Yes, and eat your vegetables and wear clean underwear, too. Here’s the deal. Our body is mostly water. Ever seen an abandoned swimming pool that’s been sitting in the sun? It’s all slimy with green goo floating on the surface pocked with mosquito eggs. The water is like a hot zone, full of bacteria and leeches and all things yucky. The water is a dark greenish-yellowish-brown.

That is the picture of a body that doesn’t move.

Our lymphatic system is the filter for our body, and it only works if we move. Motion pumps fluid through the lymphatic system to filter all the yucky stuff that causes disease, depression and cancer. We don’t have to work out like world athletes, but 30 minutes of activity a day can do wonders.

Oh, I can’t seem to make my word count. Blech. (photo courtesy of housingbath.com)

Water

Continuing the pool analogy, what would happen if you filled your pool with Coke, coffee, or tea? We are a hydroelectric system and we need water. Not only does exercise get the pumps working, but we need fresh water to replace the old yucky stuff. Our body cannot clean itself properly with soda. All nerve firing happens by conducting pulses of electricity across a hydroelectric grid of sorts. When we don’t have enough water, we misfire… a lot. Braid foggy? Feeling tired? Having a hard time focusing? Try a glass of water before reaching for an energy drink. Think of a plant withering from lack of water. This is your brain. Don’t water the plants (brain) with Dr. Pepper.

Stretching

Writers need to stretch or we risk all kinds of joint and back problems. If we are going to do this writing thing for a career, then we need to take care of our equipment. Yoga can serve as the exercise I mentioned earlier. Yoga is wonderful for getting the blood out of our feet and back in our brain. Yoga also strengthens the core muscles which are vital for a healthy back. Back surgery is a surefire way to stop a writing career dead in its tracks.

Eat Good Food

I have a rule. If an eight year old can’t read the ingredients, I don’t eat it. Avoid processed foods. Who knows what kind of effect all those chemicals have short-term or even long-term? Back in the 90s I ate olive oil, but my sister-in-law swore by the spreadable junk that came in a tub because it was low in fat and olives were just loaded in fat. I countered with, “Yeah, but even the roaches won’t eat your ‘butter.’ That can’t be good.” So, if the roaches turn their nose up at your favorite snack? That can’t be good brain food. Writers need their brains in top form. Feed it good stuff.

Get Enough Sleep

Actually, if we follow these tips, often we will find we get far better sleep. Exercise helps us work off anxiety and stress hormones. Water flushes the nasty byproducts out of the system. Stretching releases serotonin and relaxes us. When we limit caffeine, we aren’t working our adrenal glands into the ground. Good food is just great building material for a healthy body and mind, which are both vital to be a successful writer. Sleep allows our bodies and minds to recharge. A rested writer is a focused, more productive writer.

I included my favorite video, called “Be Careful what You Eat.” It’s hysterical. I hope it gives you guys a laugh. And make sure you pick up a copy of Joy Held’s Writer Wellness for even more tips to be healthy and productive.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XthZ7rFPKh8]

So what tips can you guys share? What problems do you have with maintaining a healthy lifestyle? HAve you mended your ways and now enjoy more energy? Share your success.

I love hearing from you! And to prove it and show my love, for the month of July, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner every week for a critique of your first five pages. At the end of June I will pick a winner for the grand prize. A free critique from me on the first 15 pages of your novel. Good luck!

Note: I am keeping all the names for a final GRAND, GRAND PRIZE of 30 Pages (To be announced) OR a blog diagnostic. I look at your blog and give feedback to improve it. For now, I will draw weekly for 5 page edit, monthly for 15 page edit.

Last Week’s Winner of 5 page critique is J. Thomas Ross. Please send 1250 word Word document to kristen at kristen lamb dot org.

In the meantime, I hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . Both books are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in th biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left over to write more great books! I am here to change your approach, not your personality.

The post Tips for Being a Healthy Writer appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

I often like to dedicate Fridays to talking about the writer as a person—time management, character, attitude, health, and all the more “human” components that affect how well we perform in our craft. Top athletes do mental exercises, watch nutrition, make certain to get enough rest to ensure they are running at peak performance. Why shouldn’t we?

I am not going to claim to be an expert at writer wellness, but today I am going to give you my two cents about a simple change that can help you operate at a higher level of efficiency and make you feel like a race car on rocket fuel. Just so you know, my advice and $2.75 can get you a grande coffee at Starbucks, so take it for what it is…my opinion. I will tell you that Who Dares Wins Publishing, the vanguard of excellence in the new publishing paradigm, has just launched Writer Wellness by Joy Held, and she is a real expert. So I highly, highly recommend that you get a copy of her book and check out her web site the first chance you get.

Back to my opinion :D…

Our work is a product of us, and if we are chaotic, unhealthy and strung out, it is going to negatively affect our writing. Too many of you are not sleeping well. You’re tired and wonder what happened to all of your energy. It might be hard to focus and you just don’t feel good in your skin. You want to be best-selling authors, but might wonder how on earth you will ever have the energy to do all that needs to be done. Today I would like to share some of my story in hopes that it might benefit many of you reading.

I have a tremendous amount of natural energy and I rarely drink more than one cup of coffee a day. I sleep eight hours with no trouble and am rarely ever sick. This wasn’t always the case. I still remember the day I had gained so much weight that I was officially in the plus sizes, a land of zebra stripes and rayon where polyester stretch pants go to die. I huddled in a corner and cried. What moron did they put in charge of designing plus sizes? Oh, yeah, a line of cheetahs across my a$$ really made it look smaller.

No matter what I did, my weight kept climbing. I was exhausted all the time, had terrible stomach problems, and I was always sick with something. I actually did exercise. All the time. But, no matter how much I worked out, my weight just kept climbing. My thyroid was fine and most of the doctors just rolled their eyes when I told them that I was eating healthy and working out.

Long story short, after some horrific health problems, I finally found the real culprit behind my weight gain and health problems. I had a massive wheat and dairy intolerance. See, I was eating “healthy.” I did the Special K challenge and added more whole wheat and skim milk…and just got sicker and heavier. Plain fact was that my body didn’t know what the heck to do with the wheat and dairy, so it just stored it as fat. Also, because I was eating so much stuff I was allergic to, my immune system was in a constant state of agitation causing all kinds of problems—eczema, allergies, stomach upset, joint pain, mood swings, etc. We can also assume that I was suffering chronic malnutrition because my body couldn’t use what I was giving it.

Gluten intolerances are often hard to spot because a gluten reaction is not a histamine response like when someone eats shellfish or strawberries. It is an autoimmune response. The body senses the gluten as an invader, and the immune system starts attacking everything in its line of sight. The symptoms can vary from person to person. My mother gets asthma attacks. I get a severely stomach upset, joint pain, and my heart rate (and weight) shoots up. It also makes me exhausted. I’d eat pasta and the only thing I wanted was sleep.

I don’t know if you guys have noticed, but all the sudden gluten-free is popping up everywhere. See, in my layman’s opinion, the food industry has created a massive health problem. Gluten enhances flavor. It stimulates the same dopamine response centers as cigarettes, sex, drugs and alcohol. It’s called “comfort food” for a reason. The gluten protein is very difficult for humans to digest, but it does make food extra yummy and even addictive. Think of gluten as the nicotine of the food industry.

Gluten stimulates appetite. Food manufacturers started adding it to everything—salad dressing, soy sauce, hot dogs, lunch meat, chips, etc. Eat a regular corn chip. Then try and eat one Dorito. It’s tough. We have a hard time staying out of the bag. The reason? Gluten is an appetite stimulant that makes us eat more food so we buy more. Problem is, the food industry added a substance that had a potential to be an allergen to everything! Think if they suddenly started adding peanut oil to everything. How would the peanut allergy rates rise due to overexposure? That is what they did with wheat.

Back before the 50s, the only time you ate wheat was if you ate bread, pastry, cake, or something fried. It was easy to tell when you were having wheat. You could see it. Now? The food manufacturers have subtly slipped this ingredient into virtually everything. So, as a society, we have been overexposed and, as a result, many people are walking around with an intolerance that is wrecking their lives and their waistlines as it once did mine.  

I now eat clean, and what a difference. I have plenty of energy and am blessed with excellent health. Yes, it requires extra effort, but it is worth it for the way I feel. If some of you out there are struggling with weight, body pain, constant fatigue, try pulling gluten out of your diet (Casein—dairy—is similar to gluten so that might have to go, too). It takes three days to get the offender out of your system, and it will be very easy to tell if you cannot tolerate it. You will feel as if you’ve been hit by a wrecking ball the next time you eat it. People think I have this amazing self-discipline, but I really don’t. I just know how horrible I feel eating that stuff, and I prefer feeling great.

I say it’s like putting molasses in the gas tank of a Ferrari vs. putting in high-octane fuel. What a difference in performance!

As writers, we are often multi-tasking. We regularly work a regular day job on top of our writing. Two jobs! Spouses, kids, pets and dust bunnies don’t disappear all because we want to be a novelist. We need all the energy and focus we can get. If you’re in a slump, try taking out the gluten. Even if you aren’t allergic or intolerant it will make you eat healthier and the weight will fall off. Gluten is tough to digest, so it can make even people who aren’t intolerant feel sluggish. There are other grains that are less taking on the system. The first four months I cut out wheat I dropped 30 pounds (much of the weight was edema caused by the allergy).

I now have energy like I did when I was a kid, and that makes a huge difference when it comes to my profession. Thanks for indulging my segue, and I hope it blesses you with good health. Make sure to pick up a copy of Joy’s book. She is the expert, and she has many tips, tools and tactics to help you guys be productive, healthy and more creative.

What are some tips you guys would like to add? How to you stay fit and healthy? What are your challenges?

Happy writing!

Until next time…..

Give yourself the gift of success so you can ROCK 2011. My best-selling book We Are Not Alone–The Writers Guide to Social Media is recommended by literary agents and endorsed by NY Times best-selling authors. My method is free, fast, simple and leaves time to write more books.

Also, I highly recommend the Write It Forward Workshops. Learn all about plotting, how to write great characters, and even how to self-publish successfully…all from the best in the industry. I will be teaching on social media and building a brand in March. For $20 a workshop, you can change your destiny….all from the comfort of home.

The post Writer Wellness–One Simple Change for More Energy & Focus appeared first on Kristen Lamb.