Counterfeit creativity is robbing our species blind. We are sacrificing our souls on the altar of cheap, fast, free and easy, but at what price?

For most of human history, creativity had a cost. A painting required years of training, mistakes, dedication, practice, and courage. Music required months and years of pain, blisters, practice, rehearsal, performance, and courage. A novel required years of reading, learning, grammar, structure, practice, failure, perseverance and courage.

Even mediocre art took effort.

AI changes the creative math.

Now anyone with an internet connection can generate:

• a novel outline
• a painting
• a marketing campaign
• a song

…in seconds.

Which all raises an interesting question.

If something looks creative but required no creative effort, what exactly are we looking at?

Not fraud.

Not plagiarism (exactly).

Something new.

I’d like to introduce what I call counterfeit creativity.

Counterfeit Creativity

Counterfeit money looks real enough to circulate, and counterfeit creativity works the same way. It mimics the appearance of creative work. It seems to have structure, style, aesthetic cues and emotional beats, but the underlying process is fundamentally different.

Authentic creativity comes from struggle, lived experience, experimentation, and failure. Counterfeit creativity is generated through statistical pattern reconstruction. It produces something that looks like creativity without the creative journey behind it.

For now, it seems there are plenty of people left who can sense the AI Uncanny Valley, but that window is closing, and closing FAST.

Many people can’t immediately tell the difference because humans, historically, have judged creativity by output not process. Thus, if something reads like a novel, looks like a painting, or sounds like music our brains classify it as “creative.” But that assumption was originally wired in a world where output and effort were inseparable.

AI just broke that link.

The “Crapification” of Everything

I would love to say this problem happened just with the advent of AI, but end stage capitalism is merely the sterile syringe that delivered the literary lidocaine inuring us to what CRAP looks and sounds like. We are going to zoom in on the writing world, since that’s the water we swim in.

Early on, when I began this blog, I exclusively geared my content toward authors who wanted to traditionally publish. It wasn’t because I believed the Big Six were that special, but I appreciated WHY we might need a world with gatekeepers.

Additionally, though I could see the many benefits that could come with self-publishing and indie publishing, I saw the inherent dangers. How it would let out a genie we’d never get back in the bottle.

The democratization of publishing happened on other fronts as well, though. Remember Huffington Post? Arianna Huffington IMO single-handedly obliterated the print medium and all the writing jobs that once went with it. The exposure dollar economy was the warning shots.

Show up, write your best for us and you can tell the world we pay you great money let you post on OUR site where we make millions using an unpaid workforce. Tell a bunch of writers this will lead to bigger things, they post their BEST and promote it on all their social networks…and with every click we make ad money.

LOADS OF IT.

Pay the Writer

I know when I drop terms like late or end stage capitalism, I risk the eye rolls, but hear me out.

Creatives have always sought to be paid for their work. Yes, it might be au gauche or tawdry, but we don’t care. We spend years mastering something that others derive joy and value from? We should be compensated just like everyone else.

That and we like to eat and the power company doesn’t accept poetry as payment.

In earlier times, creatives had wealthy sponsors. Later, the markets aligned to give ways creative people could be paid/rewarded meaningfully for our hard work and years dedicated to honing a skill. Newspapers, periodicals, dime novels, copy, marketing, ads were all ways creative professionals could make a living while producing the next great work of art the world enjoyed.

Read Stephen King’s On Writing, Steven Pressfield’s War of Art, Robert McKee’s Dialogue and they all share stories of the paid “crappy” gigs these masters took on while working on the “real art.”

Late-stage capitalism describes the point where market incentives inevitably drive everything toward cheaper, faster, and more scalable versions of itself, even when that process strips away the craftsmanship and meaning that once made the product valuable.

Systems no longer optimize for creating value, but for producing the appearance of value as cheaply and quickly as possible. Pay the writer became…use the writer.

Or the musician, songwriter, painter, illustrator, animator, etc.

Tell them they are special, pay them in attention, then up the operational tempo to such a high level that literally no human artist could keep pace (relevant). Meanwhile use all the real art that creatives built to train the synthetic version that you’ll SELL them later when they are so desperate to remain in the loop they’ll audition for their own extinction.

The Art is Fake but the Rot is REAL

The real danger isn’t that AI can generate content, it is that AI is flooding the world with creative-looking artifacts detached from human meaning.

Imagine a future filled with books no human truly wrote, art no human felt, songs no human performed. You know what? Since we are already here, why do we even bother with museums? Expensive to store, insure, restore, preserve. We could just 3-D print some replicas. I mean is anyone REALLY going to be able to TELL if that’s the ACTUAL Mona Lisa?

Y’all can breathe now. I am being sarcastic. But, hopefully I made my point.

My largest concern with AI “art” hasn’t just been the creative professionals it displaces, but what it’s doing to humanity as a whole.

Never underestimate the unique human capacity to get used to some seriously LOW standards. I learned that lesson my first “hamburger day” in a public school lunchroom. Every kid was excited for a slightly greenish hamburger facsimile (some even bought TWO), while I was clutching my foodie pearls. How could they be excited to eat THAT?

Then I was there long enough to sample what the “normal” food was like and it made more sense.

My biggest concern about AI art has always been the impact on the audiences. Even now. We no longer go to the movies. Most are unwatchable. If we DO go to a movie, you know what is a WIN?

It was…watchable.

I used to think the creators of Idiocracy were onto something. Now? I think they might have had a crystal ball, and they also woefully underestimated just how dumb we humans can be.

The #1 movie in America was called “Ass.” And that’s all it was for 90 minutes. It won eight Oscars that year, including best screenplay.

Narrator of Idiocracy

We aren’t going to need to travel thousands of years in the future to grasp that we are hurtling toward a world where all the top shows are some poor dude getting hit in the ‘nads in clever ways (yes, that is a real thing from Idiocracy).

Dealing with Counterfeits

Since the point of my posts are to educate and empower you, what is the answer? The United States Secret Service oversees most of our money/financial crimes. They also go after counterfeiters. Do you think they train years and years on every fake out there and what to look for?

Nope.

They spend years and years understanding AMERICAN CURRENCY. How do the bills feel? They learn how to tell a real c-note with their eyes closed. Because they know the real thing so intimately, they don’t need to concern themselves with the fakes. The fakes practically pop out.

There is a good reason the best writers are also avid readers. Read the excellent works, train, practice, fail, get up, do better and hone those skills. Write excellent stories. I know we are all under a lot of pressure to be content mills that feed the public’s (supposedly) ravenous appetite.

But why are they so famished?

Years and years of increasingly empty creative calories and artificial art.

Not only is it unsatisfying, but it warps the palate.

Take a person used to drinking cheap sodas and eating junk food then try to give them good food. They won’t like it at first because it will taste strange. Layers of artificial ingredients are masking that what’s being served is inedible, empty and possibly toxic and yet people binge on the stuff.

Same with counterfeit creativity. We have a narrow window where there are enough people around to remember what art used to feel like. With all the AI slop in circulation, get to work. Superlative art will rise. Audiences will find it and stick like glue because it resonates with their souls.

Counterfeits are always costly. Counterfeit money can implode a country just as sure as fake art can bankrupt a culture.

This is why it is critical now, more than ever, to cherish real art before we drift into a world that can no longer even recognize it. If we do get to a point that no one can tell between Monopoly money from the real thing, only then will we be out of a job. Until then, we are still in the game.

But I warn y’all… tempus fugit.

We don’t have forever.

What are YOUR thoughts on Counterfeit Creativity?

Other than it goes with counterfeit cleverness? Personally, I am exhausted with all the AI slop. AI cannot create art. Period. It is a tool. The paintbrush doesn’t make the art, the artist does. The keyboard doesn’t make the story, the writer does. And, for me? There is a certain je ne sais quoi missing from AI “creations.”

That said, do you think we could hit a time that humans won’t really recognize art? Or is it too deeply wired in us? If everything “looks real”, who will remember how to tell the difference?

Do you think that removing the human from art could eventually remove humanity from the human? I know we writers love these existential arguments, but I think this is a good one. If all the art is shallow, derivative and superficial, wouldn’t we eventually see a culture that is shallow, derivative and superfi—–

Houston, we have a problem…

The post Counterfeit Creativity: The High Cost of Cheap Art appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Forgiveness is arguably one of the hardest concepts for us to wrap our brains around—which might be why we’re so fascinated by it. What is forgiveness, really? Who is redeemable? What does restoration look like?

Last fall, I wrote about a universal emotion: Schadenfreude—Misfortune, Revenge, Justice & Catharsis. It’s not hard to feel a little thrill when “bad” people get what’s coming. In fact, revenge is one of the most common tropes in our favorite stories.

From Edgar Allan Poe’s The Telltale Heart to Kathryn Stockett’s The Help, audiences rarely feel satisfied until there’s some form of comeuppance.

Yet there’s another kind of story we might love even more: the redemption story.

That’s the beauty of fiction. Life is messy and relationships are hard. Stories not only give us a vehicle to make sense of a crazy world, but they are critical for training our moral imagination. It’s why we tell fairy tales, read bedtime books, and pass down parables.

Many of our earliest lessons in “people-ing” came through allegory.

A tortoise and a hare show us what persistence looks like in practice. Green eggs and ham feel absurd until we understand context. When Horton hears a Who, we see that every voice matters. From sharing to sacrifice, stories model the way forward—if we let them.

Here’s the funny thing: we never grow out of loving stories. And that’s a very good thing.

Forgiveness in Story

As I just mentioned, there may be only one kind of story we love more than a “just desserts” tale: the redemption story. And nowhere is this clearer than in the redemption arc.

If Melvin Udall had been anything other than a misanthropic nightmare, As Good as It Gets would have collected dust instead of Oscars. The magic is in watching him evolve—from a miserable, self-centered, isolated hermit into a man who can love and care deeply for those around him. And when that happens, we cheer.

He begins alone and broken, and ends surrounded by loved ones and a renewed sense of humanity (his own and others’)…and we are so here for it!

From The Joy Luck Club to Finding Nemo, stories provide a pattern for what forgiveness looks like and how to maybe even bring some of that redemption arc into our own lives (Re: Redemption: Can All Characters Be “Saved”?).

How can forgiveness in story shine a way for us to be better at doing it in life? Either asking for it or giving it? Redemption stories captivate us, but they also beg a harder question: is forgiveness simply forgetting the past, or is it something far more radical?

What IS Forgiveness?

Here’s the thing: half the battle with forgiveness is realizing what it isn’t .

As writers, we are keenly aware of the mercurial nature of words. “Cool” can be a temperature on the car AC or a word we toss around to let others know we like something. Words can twist and turn and gain or lose meaning over time.

Few words can be twisted more than…forgiveness.

In our minds, often “forgiveness” is this notion that we just reset the board. Everything is in the past. Forgive and forget, right?

WRONG.

Not a get-out-of-jail-free card — consequences can still stand. So if forgiveness isn’t forgetting, excusing, or fast-forwarding…what is it, then?

Welcome to the Process

Personally, I think we’ve become a culture out of tune with our emotions.

As a Gen Xer, I’ll take part of the blame. We were a lost generation of latchkey kids. Our Boomer parents were just trying to survive, feeling like failures because they couldn’t recreate the “Golden Age” they’d been handed—an era probably gilded more with asbestos and sadness than gold. We inherited their brokenness and passed it on to our kids, just in a different flavor.

Our parents gave us nuclear strike drills. It was their way of keeping us “safe”—or at least confused enough to be calm. In a world spinning out of control, they handed down what little they had. And, like generations before, we overcorrected. They raised us to be stoics—the Red Dawn Generation. We told ourselves we didn’t care and wanted to be left alone…until we had kids.

Then we lost our minds.

Suddenly everything had a Lisa Frank neon glow. We went to every game our parents missed. We sewed the costumes, baked the cookies, and even invented something as FRIGGING DUMB as the “Participation Trophy.” Everyone was special, every feeling mattered, and everything had to stay positive.

Like the cereal of our youth, we drowned our kids in sugar—only this time it was sugar-coated emotions.

It took a kids’ movie (Inside Out) to remind us that anger is actually a useful emotion. Of course, we overdid that too. The pendulum swung from a Stepford-smile “everything is fine” to raging about everything. Neither extreme is healthy. Both are denial.

The first step in forgiveness is giving ourselves permission to feel, even when the feelings don’t make sense. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean we won’t feel anger, hurt, or resentment. And being forgiven doesn’t guarantee we’ll feel absolved or at peace.

Bitterness and guilt are just two sides of the same coin.

Emotion is fuel—but like all fuel, it can either move us forward or burn everything down.

The Problem of Pain

It hurts. Simple as that. You’d think it would be obvious, but humans can be remarkably slow on the uptake. Since we don’t like hurting, we’ll avoid confrontation at almost any cost. If we’re the injured party, we steer clear of the people who wounded us.

Instead of doing the meaningful work, we gloss over the hurt, slap on a smile, and insist everything is “fine” when it isn’t. Meanwhile, the bad feelings stew and ferment. Super adult, right?

The irony is, the other person may be completely oblivious that they tromped through our emotions like a toddler playing Godzilla in Lego Land. Doesn’t matter. In our minds, we’re convinced they knew exactly what they were doing.

On the flip side, if we’re the ones who need forgiving…well, we don’t want forgiveness so much as “understanding.”
See, if you understood that we were tired, in pain, late, sick, hungry—or gassy—when we acted like a complete horse’s butt, you’d see we weren’t really wrong at all. In fact, you just misunderstood. That makes it all better, right?

…Right?

Wrong.

The first step in forgiveness is admitting the wrong.

If we’re the one injured, then we need to face that. Look at the wound, triage it, and make a plan to forgive. If we’re the one in need of forgiveness, we need to accept that—even if we felt totally justified or believe we did nothing wrong—someone else is hurting because of our actions (or inaction).

We might not feel the crushing injustice, but they do. Isn’t that exactly what we want when the shoe is on the other foot?

Feeling Feelings is Okay but Not Everything

This is where most of us get stuck. When someone hurts us, even thinking about forgiveness feels like we’re about to puke in our shoes. So we do one of two things: we stuff it airtight or we spew it nonstop.

Enough.

It’s far easier to let go once we understand that forgiveness is an act, not a mood.

In real life, there’s no magical moment where we forgive and—cue the orchestral swell—we’re suddenly living in a warm-and-fuzzy montage. You want that? Go to the movies. Stories can model real life, but they aren’t real life.

Just like we can’t wrap up a murder investigation in 90 minutes, we can’t heal wounds instantly either. If we expect emotions to rise, fall, flare up, vanish, then come roaring back, we won’t be blindsided.

Yes, if someone hurts us badly, we’re going to feel it for a while (and vice versa).

A Parable on Forgiveness

I didn’t fully grasp forgiveness until I heard this story.

There was a monk whose job was to ring the church bells every day. In the course of life in the monastery, a fellow monk deeply wounded him. No matter how many times he went to confession, he couldn’t look at the offender without feeling anger and pain.

Finally, distraught, he asked the parish priest: How can I say I’ve forgiven when I still feel so much anguish?

The priest answered with a question:

“When you ring the bells, does the sound stop the instant you let go of the rope?”

The monk frowned. “Of course not.”

“It echoes, doesn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“But eventually the sound grows fainter and fainter until it’s gone, right?”

“Yes.”

The priest smiled. “It’s the same with forgiveness. Your fellow monk rang your bell, and you’ll hear it for a while. But forgiveness is the decision to let go of the rope.”

Every time we ruminate, gossip, backbite, or replay the injury, we’re yanking that rope again, keeping the sound alive. Forgiveness isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice. We decide to let go—because we’re the only ones who can.

Forgiveness and Restoration

These are two entirely separate events — and glossing over that fact is dangerous.

Forgiveness is a decision. It’s the mental shift to let go of the rope. Period. We do it for our own sanity, because if we don’t, Hell’s bells will keep ringing in our heads. Enough ringing will drive anyone mad.

Restoration, however, is another matter entirely.

We are under no obligation to rebuild a bridge someone else torched. Nor do we have to hand out “bridge-building permits” to people who’ve proven unsafe. Sometimes, relationships can’t be restored because doing so would be unwise—or downright dangerous.

Think of a battered spouse. She might believe with everything in her that she can save the relationship if she just tries hard enough. But if the partner keeps escalating, the day will come when she realizes: If I stay, I will die.

So she leaves. She gets safe. But she still needs to forgive. Because if she doesn’t, the poison of bitterness will seep into her, and into every relationship that comes after.

That doesn’t mean she has to go back. No one in their right mind would say she hadn’t forgiven if she took out a protective order or never spoke to him again. He simply isn’t safe.

Toxic people want us to believe forgiveness means saying, “What you did was fine. Let’s be friends again!”

No.

Forgiveness is for us. It’s so we can heal, move forward, and build something better—without dragging yesterday’s rotting garbage with us. But don’t confuse forgiveness with absolution. It doesn’t erase consequences. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean they skip the sentence—it means we refuse to let their actions keep us chained to bitterness.

Forgiving and Forgetting

“Forgetting” is the part of forgiveness people most often skip—or butcher completely.

***Wow, we really do suck at this.

Forgetting doesn’t mean life is a video game where we hit RESET and go back to the last SAVE point. Memory matters. In fact, it’s wisdom. Only a fool allows the same injury over and over. Being a doormat isn’t divine.

But here’s the rub: have you ever been in a relationship where, every time conflict flares, the other person unrolls a scroll of every wrong you’ve ever committed? Did you feel forgiven?

Or maybe you’ve been on the other side—feeling generous for “forgiving,” then dragging out the record book the moment things get rough. That’s not forgiveness. That’s stockpiling ammo for the next fight.

The hard truth is this: once something is forgiven, it must be released.

Let. Go. Of. The. Rope.

It’s okay to get angry. It’s not healthy to stay angry. If we cling to the rope too long, it won’t just hold us back—it will become a snare. Or worse, a noose.

If Stories Forgave Like We Do

The tales we love would collapse if their characters forgave the way most of us do in real life.

Imagine if Simba went back to Pride Rock, “forgave” Scar, and then reminded him of Mufasa’s death at every family meal. That’s not a redemption arc—it’s a sitcom with no laugh track.

Or what if Elizabeth Bennet married Darcy, only to bring up every slight, insult, and misunderstanding for the rest of their days? Pride and Prejudice would be less classic romance and more reality TV.

Even Melvin in As Good as It Gets would never have found love if he’d clutched a grudge ledger. The movie only works because he lets go—because he changes.

Stories demand true forgiveness. Characters can’t evolve if they’re chained to past injuries. If they could, the plots would grind to a halt, and the redemption arcs we crave would be dead on arrival.

And so it is with us. If stories can’t move forward without forgiveness, neither can we.

Grudges keep us trapped in reruns—same plot, same conflict, same ending. Forgiveness, on the other hand, gives us new material. It doesn’t erase the past, but it frees the future.

We forgive not because it’s easy, or because the other person “deserves” it, but because carrying the rope keeps us stuck in the wrong story.

Letting go is the only way to write a better one.

What Does Forgiveness LOOK Like?

At the end of the day, forgiveness isn’t neat or cinematic. It’s clumsy, awkward, and sometimes downright painful. But stories remind us it’s possible. They give us a model, a light in the dark, showing us what love and forgiveness look like when lived out.

Writers, in many ways, are the torchbearers of this process. Through the arcs we create—through villains redeemed, grudges released, and broken people finding their way back—we hand our readers a vision of what could be. We remind them that love is more powerful than bitterness, and that forgiveness, though rarely easy, is always freeing.

Because without forgiveness, stories stall. And so do we.

Stories don’t just entertain, they teach us how to be human. Writers sketch the messy, awkward maps of forgiveness: how people say sorry, how they stumble, and how they finally let go.

That’s the small miracle of a redemption arc — it shows that even the meanest bell can be quieted if someone decides to loosen their grip. We forgive not because the past is erased, but because we choose a future that isn’t chained to old injuries. If stories can do that for characters, maybe they can do it for us too.

So maybe that’s the real gift of story: not to entertain us, but to show us the road ahead. To remind us that though the bell may still echo, we can choose to let go of the rope…and in doing so, step into a better story.

What are YOUR Thoughts?

What about you guys? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

What’s your favorite redemption story—book, movie, or show—that really showed forgiveness done right? Have you ever had one of those moments where forgiveness wasn’t about “feeling good,” but more about finally letting go of that rope? Has a story ever taught you more about forgiveness than real life managed to?

The post Forgiveness: Everyone Loves a Good Redemption Arc appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Introverts tend to get a bad rap. No, we are not ALL serial killers. Okay…known serial killers.

They have to catch you first .

Wait, where was I?

Oh, yeah. So, first of all, far too many people equate introversion with social anxiety, when those are two totally different topics. One can actually be an extrovert and suffer extreme social anxiety.

Really. Not kidding. He’s usually the sweet quiet guy in the corner of a dance club with an umbrella in his drink. Maybe no umbrella…but probably at least a flamingo swizzle stick. #TrueScienceIJustMadeUp

….I digress.

So this myth that introverts are all hermits huddled in caves eschewing any human contact, relishing in the day that they’re the only person left on the planet? Pure myth.

We only THOUGHT we wanted that until recently.

This myth goes along with the idea that we are freaks who live in our mom’s basement making lampshades out of Kirby Vacuum salespeople.

For the record, my mom didn’t have a basement. Basements freak me out, and I am not crafty enough to make lampshades out of…lampshades.

#EdGeinHumanFurnitureFail

Other myths? That we can’t be the life of the party. Or that introverts are—by immediate definition—shy, reclusive, or anti-social. We aren’t, though we can be.

My parents actually spent most of my childhood stopping me from trying to go home with strangers and re-home myself.

Defining Introverts & Extroverts

First of all, the whole concept of extroverts and introverts has been around for over a hundred years. We can thank psychologist Carl Jung for popularizing the concept.

This, Kiddies, is where I want y’all to pay close attention. In 1921, Jung suggested the principal distinction between personalities had to do with the primary source and direction of an individual’s expression of energy. In lay terms?

How does yo’ battery work?

Large crowds and groups of people energizes the extrovert. Extroverts process externally. Left too long alone, the extrovert’s battery runs low. They require doses of people time to recharge.

Conversely, introverts require alone time. Crowds and groups of people deplete our batteries. I LOVE people. I’m the life of the party. But when I come home from conferences? I generally need to slip into something more comfortable…like a COMA.

Meet the Ambivert

Very few people are pure introverts or pure extroverts, and—to be blunt—you don’t really want to be. A pure introvert or extrovert probably has a psychological disorder or phobia.

For instance a pure introvert that doesn’t want to be around ANY people probably DOES have some severe phobia that prevents socializing (agoraphobia, severe social anxiety, OCD, etc)

I mean, even the Unabomber Ted Kaczynski tried to have romance and even put out ads for a wife. And, in fairness, hard to outdo Ted on the hermit-introvert-hating-people spectrum.

Same for the other side of that bell curve. A pure extrovert would be intolerable. They could never be left alone, which after the age of three gets its own section in the DSM-V.

Introvert & Extrovert Different for All

Yes, when it comes to how much of an introvert or extrovert we are and how this might manifest? We really ARE all special unique snowflakes. It’s all a reflection of nature and nurture, life experiences, strengths and weaknesses.

For instance, I loathe large crowds with the power of a thousand suns…unless I am presenting. You can put me on a stage in front of ten people or ten thousand or ten million and my wattage would just climb higher.

***I’d need more time to recover depending on the crowd.

But get me OFF that stage and IN that crowd and I promise you could literally watch me wilt in front of your eyes if it was a group larger than ten. Large groups drain me to the point of being physically ill if I can’t get away and alone to recharge.

This is why I don’t do concerts, hate bars, don’t do amusement parks on busy days and don’t shop at malls unless it’s during the week.

This is ALSO why I LOVE social media. As an introvert, it allows me to pace myself and what emotional energy I have to give…or not give.

Extroverts are the same. Just because they might need to be around people, the size of the group that recharges them or shorts them out might be different. And don’t assume that, just because they are quiet, they are an introvert.

Or, simply because someone is talkative and never met a stranger they’re an extrovert.

Not how this works.

Social Distancing Sucks for Introverts

As an author, my life hasn’t changed all THAT much since the quarantining began. This said, that doesn’t mean it hasn’t taken a serious toll. Remember, just because I need alone time to recharge doesn’t mean I don’t need people time as well.

I’m actually having a really hard time and imagine I am not alone. Why is that? Let’s return to my battery analogy. Introverts recharge with alone time. We’ve had a LOT of ALONE TIME, meaning we’ve pretty much been left on the charger all spring.

What happens to batteries that you leave on a charger all the time? They break down and eventually don’t function as well. Why is that?

Because of how batteries charge, discharge and recharge. We have to use the device so as to discharge some if the electrons because of the nature of the chemical reactions happening at the anode and cathode.

If you’ve ever owned a laptop or a smartphone and noticed the battery life dropping? The likely culprit is an atomic buildup that’s negatively impacting the electrode’s effectiveness.

With the strict quarantine and almost no social time, we’re like batteries breaking down because we have none of our usual outlets to discharge that energy we’ve built up while being alone.

Introverts are Never ALWAYS Alone

I’ll confess. Before the world went topsy-turvy, we introverts were probably the first to gripe about needing time alone. In fact, irony of ironies, my last blog post before the COVID19 pandemic hit was Quiet: Have We Forgotten to Be Still In a World That Never Stops?

I think that falls under the ‘Careful What You Wish for Category.’ #Oops

But the point was that my routine hasn’t changed a lot…but it’s been enough to really put a mental strain on me. And yes I AM SORRY. I guess I am never happy. Can we just find somewhere NOT in the extremes? Somewhere between lockdown and drinking from a friggin’ firehose?

Too much to ask? Just putting this out there for when we crawl out of the caves,.

Before this, I worked from home. Hubby works from home and I homeschool. But, I also could go to the gym, the park, Six Flags with Spawn and church on the weekends to visit family and friends.

I had ways of ‘discharging’ my battery that tired me out in good ways…then home to rest and recharge.

Now? I’ve had a really hard time even getting out of bed and couldn’t figure out why. I’m normally the Pollyanna.

Usually I’d be the one writing funny blogs or making videos to cheer everyone up and yet, lately, it’s been all I could do to wash my hair.

I Wanted to Know WHY

Which is why I shifted from writing about writing today and to blogging about introversion. As an introvert whose life hasn’t changed ALL THAT MUCH…why am I caving in?

***Aside from being drugged to the gills on allergy medicine.

For the first time in almost fourteen years of blogging I’m apathetic. I don’t want to write or talk to anyone or call anyone. I’ve lost interest in my garden. My crochet sits in a tangled mess. I’m SCANDINAVIAN and have lost my will to clean.

What was going ON?

At heart I am a creative person. But a lot of creative people are also fixers (engineers/tinkerers) deep down as well. So, I went to a rock quarry today.

Had thoughts of teaching myself how to mortar stone since someone ran over our mailbox (and I DID build a French well on my own last year). At the quarry I could be in the sun and think. And I could be FAR away from people unless I wanted to be squished by a backhoe.

There were enough people milling about that I perked up and this is when it hit me.

I’ve been an introvert battery sitting on the charger too long, and no I was NOT fine. Talking on-line or on Zoom or on a phone for whatever reason doesn’t replace being in proximity (even 6, or 10, or 15 feet) from other humans.

Knowledge Brings Peace

But, I guess figuring that little piece out helped me. When you’re fighting something you don’t understand—at least for me—it makes it worse. I was an introvert and should have been fine.

Why was I anything but?

I needed to discharge some energy. And maybe y’all can suggest some safe ways of doing that. It really isn’t about activity because I could do dishes or the wash and still just want to cry.

It’s about the social wiring inside of us that we are having to do something very unnatural in order to keep everyone healthy as we can.

Anyway, I think that me just knowing WHY I am going bonkers seemed to alleviate my anxiety a lot. Often being able to simply name a thing can take away its power and give you the strength to endure.

And maybe this post will help some of you know you are not alone. If you are an introvert also going bananas, I am right there with you. The extroverts aren’t the only ones chewing the wallpaper. Extroverts? Check on your introvert friends, too.

Lots of love. Stay safe and more on writing next week!

I LOVE Hearing From You!

Until we can all hang out, it will have to be here. I really would love to hear your thoughts. I’m bonkers enough to try and build a MAILBOX for god sakes. Hubby will take pictures when I mortar myself into the damned thing and look like Jabba the Hut has me in holding for a bounty.

Sigh.

Am I the only introvert going batty?

Is it wrong that I don’t WANT to use all this ‘freed up time’ to be MORE productive? I was ALREADY pretty frigging productive, thank you very much *ponytail swish*.

And YES I need cheese with my wine.

Note: Pick up more wine.

I mean I have been a good little worker bee. I’ve been editing and writing—though the fugue state of allergy meds—and organized the master closet (somewhat), cleaned out the flower beds, planted two trees, listened to at least ten audiobooks, and plotted how to murder all the TP hoarders and not get caught….

Just a message to the TP hoarders? When you switch to leaves, remember Leaves of three the best TP.

Anyway, what are your thoughts on this? I can’t be the ONLY introvert developing a (more pronounced) eye twitch. And, if I am, entertain yourselves mocking me. Hey, I’m game and a writer so have no pride :P.

I’ll pick a commenter for a free class just to sweeten the deal .

The post The Truth About Introverts & Why the Quarantine is Hard on Us, Too appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Quiet. It’s a rather strange experience if one has grown too accustomed to the go-go-go pace of the modern world.

Recently—well, not too recently—my grandfather died. I was raised by my grandparents, so when a week and a half before Christmas he suddenly passed away? It was a blow.

Sure, he was 93. But, he was feisty like me and was far from the typical elderly person. He’d golfed (and played the entire course) until he was 90 and even a bit past that. He played cards and continued to battle crabgrass in triple-digit Texas summer heat armed with only a hand-sharpened garden hoe.

I kid you not, I went to visit one day and my sweat-soaked grandfather was digging up holly shrubs in 102 degree heat. He was almost 90 at the time. I suppose part of me expected he’d live forever. I’d at least expected to have him until 100.

Anyway, I caught a cold this past October, which, because I refused to slow down ‘enough’—which ‘slow down enough’ might as well be a friggin’ Leprechaun for me since I’ve yet to spot it—the cold turned into bronchitis in November.

This already had me down.

The stress of my grandfather’s death? Fair to say it was a large part of what tipped my bronchitis into pneumonia. Since December it’s been touch and go. It’s been so bad that I even gave into taking two rounds of antibiotics (I’ve not taken an antibiotic since 2004).

I’d feel better for a day and think all was well only to not be able to get out of bed the next day. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I’d caught pneumonia once before, back in 2003 and remembered how long it took to recover.

But this was different. Something was wrong.

Sometimes, I Hate Being Right

Last Thursday, I couldn’t take the nonstop cough anymore. Was no longer chalking it up to Texas pollen irritating my already raw lungs.

#Denial

As I mentioned, I’d taken the two rounds of antibiotics, every vitamin, probiotic, decongestant, etc. and yet I coughed all the time.

All…the…time.

I wasn’t sleeping. No one was sleeping. I was exhausted and couldn’t think. My cough went on and on…and on.

For the record, my mom was a nurse. Virtually every female in my family is/was a nurse. In my opinion, children of medical professionals are the second worst sort of patient.

As a kid, my favorite scene was the Black Knight in Monty Python’s The Holy Grail, the scene where his arm’s been cut off. Though the stump is spurting blood, he boldly declares—‘I’ve had worse!’ And continues the fight.

And…there’s a nurse’s kid for you.

Finally, last week, I gave in. Oddly, I was shocked with the results. Despite the persistent cough, I was certain the fatigue was me just being overwhelmed.

It was in my head. I just was avoiding getting back to work. Surely, I was just suffering allergies and making mountains out of molehills.

Yeah. No.

I had a 100 degree fever, Type B flu, bronchitis…and residual pneumonia. Apparently, the antibiotics hadn’t been strong enough to kill off the bug entirely. Then, as a bonus gift, the bronchial pneumonia weakened me enough to let in the Type B Flu.

Not even Type A. I earned a B in FLU. WTH?

Suffice to say, they prescribed me Godzillacillin and a crap ton of other drugs. #YayMe.

Quiet is Making Me BONKERS

I’ve been trying to make peace with quiet. Resting? NOT my strong suit. I’ve turned off all the dings, bings, and chirps. Usually, I’d fill my head with audiobooks and podcasts so I’d be doing something productive. But I’ve even made myself turn those off, too.

I have a bit of a Pollyanna streak in me in that makes me strive to see the lesson even in every darkness, every setback. Then I feel compelled to share here.

Hey, I’m a blogger. Oversharing is my thing.

First, in the quiet, I’ve learned that it took a lot to get the chatter to shut down. I’ve also learned that I haven’t the foggiest idea how to grieve. Being trapped in quiet, unable to busy myself working, writing, teaching, cleaning has made me acutely aware of this hard truth.

Even Spawn (my ten-year-old son) asked why I never cried about Grandfather. Not even at the funeral. He fell apart, but me? Mom was stone. What was with that?

Hard to confess to your kid that you don’t know how to cry. Harder still to explain something you, yourself don’t even understand. I told him I grew up in another time, in a different world.

I told him that he was a million times stronger than me because he was brave enough to grieve. Not to let my stoney demeanor fool him. Mine wasn’t the face of a warrior, it was the face of a total chicken.

The bravest faces are wet with tears.

My greatest desire is he grows up to be better than me.

I didn’t mention how, in a broken family, you learn early to be like lichen, to never want or need or hurt or draw too much attention.

Compartmentalization becomes natural, and so does being busy. You start avoiding quiet, surround yourself with noise because it becomes a sort of barrier from everything you’re ill-equipped to face.

Incessant noise and activity drowns out everything inside that’s yelling what you aren’t, what you forgot, who you let down, what you might have done better.

If only, if only, if only….

But that is only ONE side. Sure, quiet has a downside, but in my forced timeout, I’ve thought about all I’m missing out on because I’m drowning it out. Does the benefit merit the cost?

Even Nature Appreciates Quiet Time

Right now we’re at the tail end of ‘winter’ here. Winter, like all seasons, serves a crucial purpose.

Trees go dormant for a lot of reasons, but the best one is TO STAY ALIVE. Metabolism slows and the tree goes into a sort of hibernation to survive the cold months and low sunlight levels.

But trees also go dormant because it’s impossible to be fruitful 365 days a year. There has to be some time to REST.

Plants are smarter than some of us *points at self.*

No Quiet Time = Brain Drain

Ferris Jabr wrote an excellent article in Scientific American, Why Your Brain Needs More Downtime that I recommend reading in its entirety. Our modern Western culture’s puritanical devotion to chronic busyness, in my POV, is nothing short of psychotic.

Though study after study empirically demonstrates that humans are not created to be ‘perpetual doing machines,’ the data does little to deter our world’s increasing determination to pile more on our plate.

Multi-tasking, email overload, meetings, meetings to discuss meetings, deadlines, through-lines, pipelines, downlines.

Our workplace has begun reflecting our world…borderless. The 9-5 workday is relic of our not-so-distant-past.

In 1989, we got mail…in a mailbox or in a ‘finite’ In-Box (which was a LITERAL BOX). We could leave work at work, read our mail and see our in-boxes actually EMPTY.

When we got home, if we wanted? We could ‘take the phone off the hook.’ The younger folks might have to look that up. We had evenings of QUIET. Restorative time.

Now? We wake daily to digital avalanches. Data poured over us from reservoirs with limitless capacity, all dumped into a human brain that can only hold so much. Our In-Boxes never empty…ever.

I gave up on my Yahoo e-mail and finally just let it go feral a few years ago. It’s easily at over 100,000 messages by now. Every SUPER IMPORTANT message promises to only take a couple minutes.

Now multiply a couple minutes by twenty or fifty. We maybe make it through our URGENT messages just in time for…another meeting. We eat breakfast and lunch over our keyboards or in our cars while listening to voicemails and memos.

By the end of the ‘work day,’ we aren’t even close to ‘finished,’ but frankly we wouldn’t recognize finished if it peed on our leg.

Quiet is the ‘Nessie’ of Modern Life

And ‘finished’ is Sasquatch riding a unicorn.

Since we aren’t ‘finished’ we take work home. Work bulges over its boundaries into our marriages and family lives where we check our phones instead of paying attention to what our significant other is saying or our children are asking. We do all of this because we are ‘working hard,’ but are we?

No. I can tell you for a fact, since I am a Corporate America refugee.

This same ideology has oozed into the schools. Every moment crammed with no time for reflection or play.

Then, children emulate what they see from their parents. We’re plugged in nonstop, seemingly unable to be still or quiet. How are they going to fare?

No Rest for the Weary

Invariably, all this noise, this chaos, this busyness has a cost. One cost is that stress, like alcohol, impairs our prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain we use for making sound decisions.

There’s a reason we have designated drivers if we’re going to imbibe while out on the town. The reason is because after one or two drinks we might not ‘feel’ impaired, thus because we don’t FEEL impaired, we make bad decisions.

When we fail to be still, to embrace the quiet, we begin running on adrenalin and…

Welcome to the Land of Bad Decisions

We’re constantly checking email, Messenger, messages left on 42 social sites and this behavior—like drugs or booze—impairs our ability to discern we’re tired…or that we’re teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

We also make a lot of bad decisions. Or, in my case, fail to make good decisions.

We miss red flags, like taking a break and going to the doctor before a simple cold becomes pneumonia.

Fundamentally, the speed of our lives isn’t allowing enough interstitial time—code for REST BREAKS—for us to process all the influx. Downtime, particularly quiet time, is critical for us to make sense of all the information we’ve ‘taken in.’

We sort through ideas, tie loose connections, note patterns, and ‘hot wash’ our decisions.

The Benefits of R&R

When we get quiet and take time to rest intentionally our brain shifts into another mode that sifts through conversations, seeks ways we could improve, where we messed up, what we could do better.

In ways it reminds me of my childhood when my mom helped me clean my room (since FEMA was unavailable).

She’d dump out all my dresser drawers and we would sort through clothes that no longer fit, needed repair or were plain worn out. Then, the good stuff, we folded and organized and it made room for NEW STUFF.

Same with the toys.

We’d sift through what was broken to trash, or what didn’t interest me for donation.

I’d always find Barbies and Barbie clothes (and a crap ton of Barbie shoes) all buried places where I couldn’t enjoy them.

Mom and I would return pieces of games back into their correct boxes so, instead of the games simply taking up space, I could actually play them with my friends.

Our brains do the same thing. Rest allows the mind to sort, sift, repair, reconnect, and get JIGGY creating and thinking and innovating!

Brain Management

I’m sure you’ve heard of pain management, but REST is brain management. A lot of y’all might be like me and believe if you’re not doing something every minute of every waking hour you’re—GASP—lazy! *screams* Yet, again neuroscience to the rescue.

Our brains frankly never turn off.

All the writers TESTIFY!

In fact, when we rest, nap, sleep, or even take power naps or do mini-meditations, our brains shift over to what’s referred to as the default mode network.

According to Jabr’s article (above):

‘…the default mode network is especially active in creative people. It’s believed that the default mode network may be able to integrate more information from a wide range of brain regions in more complex ways than when the brain is consciously working through a problem.’

This is why I tell consulting clients with a plot problem to give me a night. I do my best problem-solving when I sleep .

We might panic that we’re taking an hour for a nap, but we’ll oddly end up saving time because our brains work more efficiently and effectively.

Instead of circling the drain with fruitless attempts with the same dumb approach, even a small slice of quiet time can reboot the brain cells and actually return the time we invest with more to spare.

We’re more focused and, since we spend less time hunting for the reading glasses perched on our heads or the cell phone we put back in the fridge with the half-eaten yogurt…we can actually be more fruitful.

Oh, and healthier. Rested people have stronger immune systems.

I’m a QUIET Work in Progress

I finished my antibiotic a day and a half ago, and the cough is gone…mostly. Though loathe to admit it, I might have to go BACK to the doctor *silent screams*. I’m giving it until Monday to rule out seasonal allergies.

Problem is, I want to be INSTANTLY better, back at the gym that I MISS, in my garden prepping for spring.

The guilt of ‘doing nothing’ is overwhelming, I won’t lie. Though I am not ‘doing nothing’ it sure feels that way since I’m used to running at Mach 5.

Being sick has made me better at delegating. Hubby is a rockstar at scrubbing tile floors.

And, ONE DAY, I am going to figure out my limitations. To learn to say ‘no’ instead of piling on just one more thing.

What can it hurt?

A lot.

The Sound of Silence

Being quiet is helping with that…I think. I’m far from perfect and definitely a work in progress. I am SO glad we are in the 20s. The teens SUUUUCKED.

For those who don’t know, I very literally lost almost all my family in the span of six years. I’ve lost count of the funerals, and wonder if the funeral home could offer us some sort or bulk discount or at least premium parking.

***Yes, this is how my mind works. I apologize.

In 2014 we couldn’t fit everyone in one picture. Now, I can count who remains on one hand. My grandfather was the last to go December 14, 2019.

Now that my role as caregiver….

Wow.

I’m no longer a caregiver. Maybe it’s why I’m no longer as afraid of the quiet.

I no longer dread every time the phone rings, certain it will be an emergency. Someone in a hospital, dying or even dead. I actually put my phone on airplane mode to rest without panicking.

How long has this subroutine of terror been running in the background and I couldn’t face it or deal with it because I refused to be quiet enough to hear it?

*shudders*

Anyway, that morning of December 14th, I knew it was the call I’d been bracing for. I’d been waiting on it for years. One worries even about spritely old people.

The other shoe finally dropped.

Now? I can unclench my teeth. Perhaps even stop holding my breath. Maybe that’s what this pneumonia is also about. Permission to breathe again. Don’t know. Maybe that’s my author brain making something more than it really is. Dunno.

I’ll go ponder that in my quiet time.

I LOVE Hearing from You!

Do you struggle with being alone? Being in the quiet? Why? Is this maybe something that caregivers go through? It seems I’ve been in that role so long I haven’t stopped to really think about it. Don’t really ever share because I don’t want to be a burden.

*rolling eyes*

Oh, I sound so ridiculous even to me when I write this down. But do you feel guilty taking a nap? Taking a break? I struggle with sitting still. Even taught myself to crochet so I’d be ‘doing something productive’ while I sat.

Do you struggle admitting you’re sick? Giving yourself the time to get OVER being sick? Giving yourself time to grieve? Time to have FUN?

Surely I’m not the only one. With the digital age, life feels like the old 80s video games. It just gets faster and faster and harder and harder until you die. Yes, I KNOW. Not exactly a positive outlook but have to be honest if I want to change my attitude.

I AM improving with learning to have fun, so there IS that. See, this is why we write. Cheaper than therapy .

Anyway, what are your thoughts?

And here are some On Demand specials up while I mend…

On Demand Branding: When YOUR NAME ALONE Can Sell

Normally $55, and now $35. This class will be deleted to make room for a newer version. Most of the content will remain the same since what I teach is evergreen, so it is definitely a bargain.

ON DEMAND: Bring on the Binge: How to Plot and Write a Series

Normally $75 and now only $50 and this is over four hours of instruction on everything you need to know about plot. So if you want to know about the synopsis? You will BLOW it out of the water after this.

Also…

ON DEMAND: The Art of Character for Series

Normally $75 and also only $50 and this class pairs excellent with the plotting class (like a fine chardonnay and a Chilean sea bass). Treat yourself!

The post Quiet: Have We Forgotten to Be Still in a World That Never Stops? appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Story power. Human Power. Black Power. To me, story power, human power, female power, black power, et. al. are all trains that run along the same vast system of tracks known as ‘publishing.’

It’s why Black History Month is such a fantastic time to highlight authors of color, to maneuver otherwise fringe/invisible authors—schedule those ‘trains’—to travel into the public view.

In an age where discoverability is a nightmare for all authors, Black History Month offers an organic time to highlight authors of color and treat readers to writers they might never otherwise see. This is critical because stories are important.

Stories shape cultural values.

A new breakout author could completely tip the pop culture world on its side. But how can these authors break out if they’re never even unboxed?

As we’ve learned from pop culture history, shows like Star Trek did far more to change public opinions, to ameliorate racial tensions, close the gender gap, push women’s lib, and ease xenophobia than a hundred protests.

Sure, Star Trek was TV (crossing the streams) but it was STORY, and these days Netflix and Amazon are scooping up books for production.

Just sayin’.

Story power is real! Stories bridge gaps legislation can’t. Why? Because stories allow us to empathize and understand another perspective in a way like no other. We can BE another gender, race, or species!

Story power is…well, POWERFUL.

That was why, when Random Penguin and Barnes & Noble decided to put literature in blackface to celebrate Black History Month, I was livid. A chance to highlight new, fresh voices was squandered.

Their loss, my gain.

What did I have? I’m blessed with a big mouth and a large platform of wonderful readers who CARE. I also have no filter, and passionate fans and friends eager to help. Which is how I can bring you *drum roll*….

Story Power From a Fresh POV

I stalked reached out to a subscriber and colleague, the brilliant author Lynn Emery. Since she likes mystery, murder, suspense and a high body count as much as I do, I figured we’d hit it off well.

I’d tell y’all ALL about her—SO much to gush about—but this is one seriously accomplished lady, so her full bio is HERE.

A couple of highlights? Lynn Emery has won three coveted Emma Awards. Romantic Times Magazine not only recognized her earlier works in romance but also nominated her later fiction Good Woman Blues (August 2005, HarperCollins Publishers) for Best Multicultural Mainstream novel of 2005.

BET turned her third novel, After All into a movie, and I need to stop there because the gushing will just get absurd.

***So, seriously, y’all can go read her full bio.

Suffice to say, Lady Lynn is a force.

Granted, I was angry about the shenanigans with Random Penguin and Barnes & Noble. But, I was also self-aware enough to appreciate that my anger came from the position of a spectator, a consumer, an ally maybe?

So, I wanted a voice from the inside. A voice of authority, and so I reached out to Lynn. What did she think of all this, especially after the RWA meltdown? We had a fantastic and enlightening conversation. Lynn, the amazing lady she is, generously put part of our conversation into a post I know you’ll enjoy…

Take it away Lynn!

Story Power: Why Can’t a Book Just Be a Book?

Black people—mostly women—who love a good romance are super stoked about The Photograph. I know what you’re doing right now. Looking at the title of this post and wondering why I’m talking about a movie.

Hang with me a minute.

Articles have been written on black pop culture sites praising the heavens because it’s just a romance. The authors of said articles contrast The Photograph to Queen and Slim.

They pose the question…

‘Why can’t we have a black romance without trauma?’

In other words, why does every love story about a black couple have to involve the themes of oppression, suffering, and death? Or prostitutes, gangstas, and drug dealing?

They point to how many years it’s been since we had such sweet classics as Love and Basketball, Love Jones and Brown Sugar.

***Btw, Love and Basketball is my favorite (sigh).

Sometimes we simply want a cute meet, flirtatious banter, trouble, arguments, and then loves wins. Okay, back to books.

Let me make this clear, I’m not the Black People Whisperer. So, don’t take this as the definitive ‘How All Black People Feel’ on this topic, but sometimes we just want a book to be a book.

And black writers?

Sometimes, We Just Want to Write

No heavy topics or weighty issues. Another caveat, we love and devour books that tackle the meaty (and sometimes depressing) subjects of slavery, racism, mass incarceration, and more.

We know those are issues that need to be voiced, written about, and tackled. Daily. Relentlessly. Thank you very much.

And yes, there are black prostitutes, criminals, and drug addicts. BUT… sometimes we just want to read and write mysteries, sci-fi, horror, fantasy, etc. No lesson, no message.

And please Lord, no trauma.

Okay, story time!

Several years ago, I attended a writers conference, as writers are wont to do. As part of the draw for authors was the chance to have one-on-one appointments with editors and agents.

For around ten minutes or so, we could pitch books in progress with the goal of getting an agent or editor interested.

I’d switched genres, having written around twelve romance novels for various publishers (Kensington, HarperCollins, Penguin). Yet my true love (see what I did there?) had always been murder mysteries. Which is why most of my books were romantic suspense.

To quote my late husband, ‘A dead body always has to be in there somewhere.’

So, I’m at the conference and I go into my appointment. An agent who already had my synopsis and the first three chapters. Btw, she didn’t know my publishing history.

I walk in with a smile and noticed her bright expression dims. To her credit she recovered fast. I almost didn’t catch the reaction. Almost. I sit.

She looks down at the proposal in front of her, sighs and says, ‘So, these characters are black.’ It went downhill from there.

To my credit I didn’t cuss her out.

Deep Breaths

You see, I could tell she’d been at least engaged with the characters and the story. Until I walked in with my brown skin self. I let her squirm and stammer through some BS to kill the time.

I may have controlled my temper, but I wasn’t going to make it easy. She struggled to make negative points about the proposal. I didn’t try to help with self-deprecating statements, although I didn’t argue with her either.

After twelve books from NY I knew better. It’s all opinion. Educated opinion, but still subjective to a large degree. She could have been correct, and I sure as hell hadn’t written the next great mystery masterpiece. But it was good.

Three middle-class black women who turn amateur sleuths to solve a murder, the ex-husband of one of them.

Best Enemies stars a soccer mom, an ex-stripper, and a committed gold digger. A professional freelance developmental editor agreed with me (to my immense relief when I got her notes).

And so, we return to our topic.

You see, black authors have historically faced a challenge if our fiction doesn’t include misery or the fight for civil rights. It’s not that we don’t include some of that in our genre fiction, but mostly not or at best a light touch. And we get dinged for it.

Translation—rejected and ignored, or even told the stories aren’t ‘real enough.’

Sometimes a cozy mystery is just a cozy mystery. Sometimes a space opera is just about traveling to other worlds and cool tech. Sometimes a horror novel is just about getting the bejeezus scared out of you.

Authors of color have the glorious freedom to write the stories inside us. Some of us will write about white privilege, racism, mass incarceration, and other issues that affect us daily.

But some of us will just write about amateur sleuths, space travelers, ghosts, and more. No message. Just fiction. We’re making room for all the things. Join us.

It’s Black History Month. Yay!!! Here’s my blog post Badass Black History to help celebrate story power.

Story Power & Books to Love

I present my reading list. Please know I had to restrain myself to limit the number. I kept finding something else on my Kindle app and going ‘Oh, that’s so good!’ Yeah, I’m all over the place lucky for you. Feast upon this buffet. You’re welcome.

Horror

Spook Lights by Eden Royce

Sisters of the Wild Sage by Nicole Givens Kurtz

Forever Vacancy, a Colors In Darkness Anthology

The Adventure of the Spook House by C. Michael Forsyth

Mystery

Blanch on the Lam by Barbara Neely

My Darkest Prayer by SA Cosby

Tangled Roots by Angela Henry

A Rage in Harlem by Chester Himes (and anything else he writes!)

Sci-Fi/ Fantasy

Order of the Seers by Cerece Rennie Murphy

The Wolf Queen by Cerece Rennie Murphy

Taurus Moon: Relic Hunter by D. K. Gaston

Steamfunk by Milton Davis and Balogun Ojetade

Griots: A Sword and Soul Anthology by Milton Davis and Charles Saunders

The Acacia Trilogy by David Anthony Durham

Story Power & Thank You, Lynn

I INHALE books, so I’m really grateful for this new list. When Lynn and I spoke, it was funny/interesting to me how we’d come to similar conclusions. Her from the author’s perspective and me from the reader’s perspective.

Not that I haven’t read the heavy books or shy away from them, but when Lynn gave me a list of new horror, mystery, and sci-fi/fantasy I hadn’t before heard about? Better yet, from authors of color? I was like a kid in a candy store.You mean I can just enjoy stories with a fresh cast of characters?

Story power is real regardless. It’s why I believe all genres serve an important function and meet readers where they are. It doesn’t all have to be hard core literary stuff.

Again, Star Trek?

***Trekkies know no color.

We (readers) can learn about others who aren’t ‘just like us’ simply by being consistently immersed in their worlds and struggling by their side facing their problems and sharing their victories. When we come to care about the characters, we form a unique bond.

In fact, the MORE stories like this are in circulation, the better the odds readers will be exposed to a wide and varying array of characters they’ll come to better understand, love and enjoy.

I hope y’all will check out Lynn’s books and the books she was kind enough to curate for us. As writers, we all bleed red (ink).

I LOVE Hearing from You!

If you have some questions of comments for Lynne, you can leave them here. I also would love some suggestions for classes, and am putting together the upcoming classes for spring.

I’ve had a bugger of a time getting over my cough, so I am offering these three ON DEMAND classes on sale before I delete them.

On Demand Branding: When YOUR NAME ALONE Can Sell

Normally $55, and now $35. This class will be deleted to make room for a newer version. Most of the content will remain the same since what I teach is evergreen, so it is definitely a bargain.

ON DEMAND: Bring on the Binge: How to Plot and Write a Series

Normally $75 and now only $50 and this is over four hours of instruction on everything you need to know about plot. So if you want to know about the synopsis? You will BLOW it out of the water after this.

Also…

ON DEMAND: The Art of Character for Series

Normally $75 and also only $50 and this class pairs excellent with the plotting class (like a fine chardonnay and a Chilean sea bass). Treat yourself!

The post Story Power: Why the Lecture? Why Can’t a Book Just Be a Book? appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Why?

Because we had to submit an OUTLINE for every single paper, and the points had to match up. The outline had to create and support a logical argument supported by evidence from start-to-finish. It was a pain in the butt. But…wouldn’t you know it, writing outlines before writing papers soon became a habit.

Once I mastered how to outline an academic paper, it was like I was unstoppable. Yes, I know. This sounds like the Passion of the Nerd. In reality though, it’s more like the Redemption of the Procrastinator. But, becoming a master outliner helped me write papers faster and get better grades every time.

(No, seriously, I spent an entire semester pulling procrastination punishment all-nighters every Monday night cranking out three-page papers for my anthropology of Papua New Guinea class and got an ‘A’ on every single one…all because I could outline!)

Whether its academic papers or blog posts, creating an outline is a skill that every writer needs, and unconsciously, every reader appreciates. And today, I’m going to share with you Mrs. Bender’s simple-but-magical outlining tips and tricks from the introduction, to the middle, to the end..

The Introduction

Just like in fiction, a good blog post or academic paper starts with a catchy opening. It can be challenging, evocative, shocking, or revelatory.

Then, we start to circle the topic in general, sharing reasons it is interesting, relevant, worthwhile, etc. A good technique is ‘within, without, backward, forward.’ We address why a topic is important from within the field, in relation to society in general, in the context of the past, and its potential impact going forward.

THE THESIS STATEMENT COMETH. Just like a logline for a story, the thesis statement for a paper or a blog is the BURNING REASON we are writing this. It’s the single argument that everything else—no matter how many thousands of words—supports.

The Plan of Attack: Right after the thesis statement come the three main points that will support our argument. It’s the old “Tell ’em what you’re gonna tell ’em,” schtick.

Here’s an example of outlining an introduction.

The Middle

Now, we’re into the thick of things. We’re sligning facts and logic right and left, maybe even footnoting stuff (Heaven forbid!). But, without a coherent structure, all those facts are going to end up overwhelming us and the reader. Think “I Love Lucy” and the chocolate factory conveyor belt.

Whether it’s fiction or blogs or papers, the middle is always the longest and hardest part. Luckily, there’s a trick to setting up this section of the outline, from the main point down to the individual paragraphs. Okay, maybe the trick is more like the bastard child of an illicit affair between a formula and a checklist, but it’s still one of God’s creatures, and I love it.

I call it ‘The Telescoping Rule of Three.’ Catchy, non?

Yet, it is an accurate description of both the flexibility and order we need for the middle of papers and posts of all lengths. We need the limit of three to help us focus our high-level arguments. But, at the same time, we need the open-ended ability to drill way, way down into details. We can’t lose ourselves in irrelevant minutiae if we stick to The Telescoping Rule of Three. Even if we do, the structure will guide us safely back.

The Telescoping Rule of Three

The rule starts with the having a plan of attack with three main points that support the thesis statement. This isn’t to say that there are more arguments we could make to support the thesis. It’s simply that these are three points we are choosing to illustrate because we believe they are a relevant, cohesive angle.

Okay, not precisely relevant, but I couldn’t help it.

Once we are done with the introduction, we tackle each point as its own section. We turn it into a mini-paper, complete with its own introduction with a thesis and plan of attack. From there, we illustrate each of the supporting points with three points…aaaaand you begin to see how this rule ‘telescopes’ to expand for a dissertation or contract for a 1500-word blog post.

It’s easiest explain this with a graphic.

‘Three’ is not by any means a hard and fast limit. Think of it more like a boogie board in the ocean. It can help us surf the waves with that rush of speed and ease. But, it can also help us stay afloat when we get swamped by that unexpected swell..and get salt water up our noses like a gratuitous neti pot accident that makes us cough and swallow some of the saltwater while snotting the rest of it back out into the ocean.

Because we can’t have too many cat memes, especially on a boogie board. Check out Kuli’s story here!

Bonus—Paragraph Structure

Because it’s all starting to come full circle now…

I know you know what’s coming.

The fact that writing a paragraph starts with an introductory sentence that states the point of the paragraph.

The fact that there are three sentences that support that point.

The fact that there is a concluding sentence that segues into the next paragraph.

It’s getting kinda trippy, amiright?

Don’t hate it because it’s logical.

The Conclusion (in more ways than one)

By the point, it should be 4:00 a.m., and the caffeine shakes should just be starting to kick in.

In the prehistoric times when I was in college, we didn’t have Red Bull. Instead, I drank cold, black coffee from the mini coffeemaker in my room. That’ll wake you up. And put hair on your chest.

All of the stages are funny-not-funny, and sorry-not-sorry for sharing.

Until I figured out the secret to writing a conclusion, I struggled with this part of a paper. I would even go so far as to shower and fold my laundry instead of writing this bit. I know, right?

However, when I discovered that a conclusion is just an introduction in reverse, it was like the clouds parted and heavenly hosts appeared bearing white chocolate mocha lattes (no whipped cream).

This is the “Tell ’em what you told ’em” part of a paper. I used to feel it was repetitive, but then I realized it was okay. That’s the point of the conclusion. We have to remind the reader why the topic is important and affirm the fact that we proved the bejeezus out of our argument.

Isn’t it beautiful? Doesn’t the symmetry of it all move you to tears? Don’t you feel like you can write a better, more coherent blog or get a better grade on your paper now? *sniff, wipes away lone tear*

It’s like a full-circle-reverse-rule-of-three-telescoping…oh, whatever. I need more coffee.

SHARING TIME! Tell me your best all-nighter or turned-it-in-by-the-skin-of-your-teeth story! Also, if you’d like to suggest a topic for me to use for a fake paper to illustrate using this outline, put it in the comments. I’ll pick one and work it up. Maybe we can see if I still have the old zip and polish and do it as a timed event on Twitter, LOL!

Everything You Ever Wanted – A Weekend of Cait & Kristen!

Kristen and I are having a teachapalooza this weekend, starting with my class on Friday night – Keywordpalooza: Tune in, mellow out, and learn to love keywords for Amazon.

Then, Saturday is going to be out-of-this-world (literally) with The XXX Files: The Planet X Speculative Fiction 3-Class Bundle. I’ll be geeking out on world-building for sci-fi, dystopias, apocalit, zombies, horror, paranormal, etc. Kristen and I are co-teaching how to take all that world-building and create characters we love to love and love to hate. Then, Kristen is going to wrap up the day with a master class in plotting for speculative fiction.

Even if you’re not writing this genre, there is so much here that is relevant to all fiction.

You can purchase each class individually, or, you can buy the bundle which essentially is all three classes for the price of two. And if you can’t make the classes live this weekend, they all come with a free recording so you won’t miss a thing.

Hope to see you this weekend!

Keywordpalooza: Tune in, mellow out, and learn to love keywords for Amazon

Instructor: Cait Reynolds
Price: $55.00 USD
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Friday, September 7, 2018. 7:00—9:00 p.m. EST

REGISTER HERE

It’s one of the universe’s great mysteries… the same word can both boost and drown your book in a category (mind BLOWN, man!).

Keywords also seem to evolve every five minutes…or are we the one evolving, like a butterfly having a dream of SEO (trippy, dude!)? Like gravity and Jane Fonda’s hair in ‘Barbarella,’ the popular rules for using keywords value over-inflation and the slavish following of fads.

But, like Talbot’s tweed and mother’s pearls, certain marketing strategies and techniques are enduring classics that stand the test of time. They’re not flashy like bellbottoms, nor do they yield dramatic overnight results like ironing your hair. Yet, ignore trends, and we risk getting left behind…kind of like buying electric typewriter ribbon because that whole ‘computer word processing’ thing will never take off.

This class won’t just help you turn on, tune in, and drop out of the keyword rat race. We’ll also cover:

• Fully body contact SEO: when and where to use keywords, and what publishers know that you don’t;
• Fantastic keywords and where to find them: which websites, lists, search engines, and Magic 8 Balls yield the best keyword research results;
• Mix and match like a Parisienne: no, seriously, how to mix consistent ‘classic’ keywords with the latest trends like a Frenchwoman wears a crisp white shirt with this season’s Hermes scarf;
• Same bat genre, same bat book, different bat keywords?: learn the differences between keywords for ebooks, print, and audio;
• And so much more!

A recording of this class is also included with purchase.

Building Planet X: Out-of-This-World-Building for Speculative Fiction

Instructor: Cait Reynolds
Price: $55.00 USD
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Saturday, September 8, 2018. 10:00 a.m.—12:00 p.m. EST

REGISTER HERE

Speculative fiction may be a way of seeing the world ‘through a glass darkly,’ but it can also be one of the clearest, most pointed, and even most disturbing ways of seeing the truth about ourselves and our society.

It’s not just the weird stuff that makes the settings of speculative fiction so unnerving. It’s the way ‘Normal’ casually hangs out at the corner of ‘Weird’ and ‘Familiar.’

But it’s trickier than it seems to get readers to this intersection without letting them get bogged down in the ‘Swamp of Useless Detail’ or running them into the patch of ‘Here be Hippogriffs’ (when the story is clearly about zombies). How do we create a world that is easy to slip into, absorbingly immersive, yet not distracting from the character arcs and plots?

This class will cover:

• Through the looking glass darkly: How to take a theme/issue/message and create a world that drives it home to the reader.
• Ray guns and data chips: The art of showing vs. telling in world-building.
• Fat mirror vs. skinny mirror: What is scarce in the world? Valuable? Forbidden? Illegal? What do people want vs. what they have vs. what they need?
• Drawing a line in the sand: What are the laws, taboos, limits of this world? What is unacceptable to you/the reader/the character? How are they the same or different, and why it matters.
• Is Soylent Green gluten-free and other vital questions: All the questions you need to ask about your world, but didn’t know…and how to keep track of all the answers.

A recording of this class is also included with purchase.

Populating Planet X: Creating Realistic, Relatable Characters in Speculative Fiction

Instructors: Cait Reynolds & Kristen Lamb
Price: $55.00 USD
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Saturday, September 8, 2018. 1:00—3:00 p.m. EST

REGISTER HERE

It’s a time-honored tradition in literature to take an ordinary person out of his or her normal life and throw them into a whirlwind of extraordinary circumstances (zombies/tyrants/elves/mean girls optional). After all, upsetting the Corellian apple cart is what great storytellers do best.

It’s also that very same ordinariness and normalcy that first gets the reader to identify then empathize with the characters and stick with them (and the book) through to the end.

But, what do we do when our ‘ordinary’ protagonist lives with a chip implant and barcode tattoo, and our antagonist happens to be a horde of flesh-eating aliens…or a quasi-fascist regime bent on enforcing social order, scientific progress above ethics, and strict backyard composting regulations (those MONSTERS!)?

How the heck is the reader supposed to identify with that? I mean, seriously. Regulating backyard composting? It would never happen in a free society.

This leaves us with two challenges in creating characters for speculative fiction: 1. How to use the speculative world-building to shape the backgrounds, histories, and personalities of characters, and 2. How to balance the speculative and the relatable to create powerful, complex character arcs.

This class will cover:

• Resistance is futile: What does normal look like for the characters? What’s different or strange, and how to get readers to accept that retinal scans and Soylent Green are just par for the course.
• These aren’t the droids you’re looking for: What are the discordant elements around the characters? What are their opinions about it? What are the accepted consequences or outcomes?
• You gonna eat that?: Whether it’s running from brain-eating zombies or fighting over dehydrated space rations, what is important both physically and emotionally to the character? What is in short supply or forbidden?
• We’re all human here (even the ones over there with tentacles): The basic principles and techniques of creating psychological touchpoints readers can identify with.
• Digging out the implant with a grapefruit spoon: In a speculative world, what are the stakes for the character? The breaking point? The turning point?
• And so much more!!!

A recording of this class is also included with purchase.

Beyond Planet X: Mastering Speculative Fiction

Instructor: Kristen Lamb
Price: $55.00 USD
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Saturday, September 8, 2018. 4:00—6:00 p.m. EST

REGISTER HERE

Speculative fiction is an umbrella term used to describe narrative fiction with supernatural or futuristic elements. This includes but it not necessarily limited to fantasy, science fiction, horror, utopian, dystopian, alternate history, apocalyptic fiction, post-apocalyptic fiction.

Basically, all the weird stuff.

Gizmos, gadgets, magic, chainsaws, demons, fantastical worlds and creatures are not enough and never have been. Whether our story is set on Planet X, in the sixth dimension of hell, on a parallel world, or on Earth after Amazon Prime gained sentience and enslaved us all, we still must have a core human story that is compelling and relatable.

In this class we will cover:

• Discovering the core human story problem.
• How to plot these unique genres.
• Ways to create dimensional and compelling characters.
• How to harness the power of fear and use psychology to add depth and layers to our story.
• How to use world-building to enhance the story, not distract from it.

***A recording of this class is also included with purchase.

The XXX Files: The Planet X Speculative Fiction 3-Class Bundle

Instructors: Cait Reynolds & Kristen Lamb
Price: $110.00 USD (It’s LITERALLY one class FREE!)
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Saturday, September 8, 2018. 10:00 a.m.—6:00 p.m. EST.

REGISTER HERE

Recordings of all three classes is also included with purchase.

The post Back to School: Why Great Papers, Essays, and Blogs Need Outlines appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

I think there’s one thing we can all agree about: it’s pretty awful that life doesn’t have a pause button when it comes to things like death and grief.

One of the things that Kristen always says (I call them Lamb’s Laws) is that real writers don’t wait for all the stars to align, perfect barometric pressure, and a good hair day in order to ‘feel the muse’ and write. That means that I’ve written parts of this blog on a plane from Boston to Indianapolis to grieve for a man who was like a father to me. I’ve written other parts in between condolence visits, remembrance services, and private moments of comforting.

Dr. Shahid Athar was a good man—a very good man, one of the few who truly lived the spirit of compassion, love, and charity that is central to all religions. He was an internationally-renowned doctor who would quietly slip away to volunteer his services in shelters. He was both deeply observant and an open-minded philosopher scholar who sought to bring faiths and communities together. He also had a wicked, sly sense of humor—I remember how he used to make my dad laugh until he cried, or the way I’d do a double-take when I realized he had just deadpanned a gentle burn on me. Oh, and his Fourth of July tandoori chicken barbecues for a hundred people were some of my best childhood memories.

Reverend Jerry Zehr, Dr. Shahid Athar, Rabbi Dennis Sasso – Carmel Interfaith Alliance

I got the news on Saturday afternoon that he was slipping away. I reacted as I usually do in a crisis: I made a to-do list. Flights, hotel, car, packing, last-minute work stuff…it was only late that night when I was done that I allowed myself twenty minutes to drink half-a-glass of whiskey and cry. Then my timer went off, and I blew my nose, drank some water, and went to bed.

Yeah, I’ve got a timeshare by a river in Egypt.

Vulnerable Author, Visceral Prose

Let’s be clear. I know very well that I am putting off dealing with all of this. I give it about two weeks before I randomly burst into tears in the middle of CVS on a Tuesday. I get it. But, I also know that every time I grieve, I learn something different about grief itself. And like all good writers with vaguely sociopathic and dissociative tendencies, part of my brain is busy observing and cataloguing all this and figuring out how to use it to gut readers with my words.

The thing is, though, in order to do that, I will have to do the thing I hate most in the world (aside from picking up the dry-cleaning—don’t ask, I don’t understand it either). I will have to allow myself to feel and express emotion.

While there are certain limits to the ‘write-what-you-know’ philosophy like committing serial murder to get the ‘feel’ for it, imbuing characters with genuine reactions requires us to draw on a very personal well of feelings and life experiences.

If we want a truly visceral reaction from our readers, we have to be truly vulnerable. The honesty of deep emotion is what brings us all together, whether we like it or not. *side-eye at Sarah McLaughlin*

Echoes of the Present

One of the unexpected things I’ve experienced with this death is what I’m going to call ‘reverb.’

It’s the unexpected way a death can echo other deaths. Losing a man who was like a father to me is not exactly like losing my father. But, there are enough similarities that the great bell of memory rings in the space in my chest, its dark resonance vibrating deep in my bones.

It’s not déjà vu because in a sense, it has happened before. The call. The flight. The last-minute arrangements. The feeling of racing against time to get there for a goodbye. The sense that life turned another corner while you weren’t looking, and there’s no going back.

But, it’s not actually my father. It’s another daughter who has lost her anchor. It’s another son who suddenly discovers just how much business death involves. It’s another mother we are reminded is also a wife as she grieves for a marriage that at its heart began and ended with two people in love. It’s another home where we keep looking up expecting to see a father stroll into the room with a joke and smile for everyone.

When a character is confronted by death, it’s worth taking a moment to ask ourselves who is it that they have actually lost, beyond the labels of friend and family. Was that person a trusted confidant? An enemy who should have been a friend? Even a complete stranger’s death can go beyond the label when we realize that person had a full life of experiences that we would never know.

A person only truly dies once, but memory is thousand mirrors that reflect it back to us a thousand times a day.

Living Death

Death is experienced in its entirety by the living.

I know, but bear with me. Death spans the dying process and the moment of stoppage, but also the moments, minutes, days, and weeks after. It is the living who feel the aftermath.

There is a physicality to death—even a peaceful one—that shocks us and rocks reality down to its foundations. It splits time into before and after, and yet if we think about the paradox of infinitely divisible time, the moment of death exists for its own little eternity. It’s counted in beats per minute, oxygen levels, complex chemical reactions, and the half-life of cellular decay. It’s a creeping cold and a moment of absolute stillness that nothing but death can create.

I was at my father’s side when he drew his last breath. We had turned off the monitors. There was no point in taunting us with its cruelly absolute measurements. Instead, I watched the fluttering pulse in my father’s neck. It was so strange to see that little vein gently jumping beneath his skin. Even stranger still was how it faded and stopped. His expression changed, from the soft half-smile of sedation to a more solemn and severe mien as the muscles in his face went slack without the spark of a living brain and the impetus of a manifested will.

When characters behold death, what is it they actually see? Do they smell the crisp, bitter antiseptic cleaner of a hospital room? Do they hear an annoying sniffle of someone who just won’t blow their nose? Do they feel the chilly weight of a hand that will never hold them back?

Death is the end of a single story, but death lives on as a grim rule of punctuation for those whose survive.

There is no Cure for the Ugly Crying Hangover

One of the reasons I hate crying is because I always end up with gritty eyes, a snot-induced sinus headache, and an overall sense of being slightly puffy.

It’s not that I don’t cry. I can and do. *once more, throws shade at Sarah McLaughlin*

I know people who don’t really ugly cry. They won’t exactly win any beauty contests, but they don’t do the hiccupping-while-dripping-snot-that-ends-up-choking-you thing that makes people hesitate a fraction of a second before going in for the hug.

I hate those people.

Another thing I hate? When people recite to me the five stages of grieving. I want to take that linear progression and beat them with it. In reality, the five stages of grief are really most like a pinball machine.

We ricochet from anger to denial. Acceptance bounces back and forth between bargaining and depression. The first year alone after a death is a grief-stricken jackpot of shock, bad life choices, acting out, and fractured relationships.

I couldn’t wait to be done with all the ‘firsts’ – the first birthday, Fourth of July, Halloween (yeah, that holiday had me sobbing as I watched trick-or-treaters because he loved greeting them and giving out candy). I don’t remember much about the first Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year’s because frankly, I was either half-in-the-bag or fully in-the-bag. Not my proudest moments, but I have yet to be judged for grieving in a very imperfect but very human way.

The same goes for characters. Sometimes, we struggle to have characters make the bad decisions that give them depth and create the conflict necessary for good stories. Death and grief give characters a way to be irrational and make bad decisions without making them unsympathetic.

Death is a Party

Go to any wake or at-home receiving time, and you will see the same tableau play out. The food might be different, the language might be strange, the gods foreign, but I will bet you two bits* (one of my father’s favorite phrases) that you will see the following cast of characters:

• The Organizer: Kind, busy, slightly harassed, slightly put-upon-but-secretly-enjoying-the-sympathy-of-being-the-hard-working-one…in other words, the Munchausen by Proxy griever;
• The Drama Queen: Usually centrally seated in living room, and also usually the prettiest crier in the family…willingly recites the account of how the defunct passed on over and over again for each visitor, basking in the spotlight of their sympathy;
• The Sh!tface Drunk: Can usually be found brooding out on the back porch because he/she hates people in general and doesn’t have the words to express the depth of their sorrow…also liable to engage the Drama Queen in World War III after the guests have left;
• The Angry One: A sober version of the Sh!tface Drunk…liable to engage the Drama Queen in World War III while the guests are still there, and also prone to snapping at the Organizer;
• The Inappropriately Cheerfully Spiritual One: Voted most likely to inadvertently trigger the Sh!tface Drunk and the Angry One into lashing out…also shunned by the Drama Queen because optimism and acceptance totally ruin her grief game.

I know this is pure snark, but death often brings out personality traits that usually lie dormant. And, as much as death brings families and friends together, it is also an occasion littered with the landmines of conflict, misunderstandings, and miscommunication.

And, like I said earlier, if you’re like me and have those vaguely sociopathic and dissociative tendencies to always be observing and analyzing, death’s mix of irrevocability, emotion, money, and words is a volatile, combustible substance that practically guarantees good drama.

Like Fathers, Like Daughter

My father was unwavering in his faith that I would someday be a writer. Yes, he was encouraging and supportive when I had other jobs or got promotions, but he would always say at the end, “Just remember, Caity, you were meant to be a writer.” (And just so people don’t get any ideas, only my father, my Uncle Shahid, and his family are allowed to call me Caity.)

I made a deathbed promise to my father to become that writer. I’d like to think he heard me in his sedated state. More importantly, I know he would be happy that I accomplished this goal for my own sake and my own future.

Father and Daughter

Uncle Shahid was also an author. He published numerous books about Islam, both for the Muslim community and for the general public in his relentlessly optimistic drive to bring people of all faiths together. He believed people could be better. He believed in the power of words and communication to build bridges over the chasms of fear, ignorance and prejudice. He fearlessly tackled subjects like balancing the advances of modern medicine with the ethical concerns of contemporary Islam, healing the wounds of September 11^th, and how to communicate healthy attitudes about sexuality to Muslim youth.

He wrote books of poetry and reflections on prayer. He was a newspaper guest columnist. And, let’s not forget, he wrote scientific and medical research papers for his work as an endocrinologist.

He did all of that while speaking English as a fourth language after Urdu, Arabic, and Hindi. He could also tell jokes in all four languages. As I sit in his study writing this, I am looking at the wall-to-wall bookshelves filled to overflowing with books on everything from the history of medicine, to classic literature, to Native American art. I will miss his passion for the written word.

Nine languages, four religions, four immigrants, two citizens born, three life-threatening chronic illnesses, countless heated discussions about cooking…and a lifetime of memories with my family.

Shahid Athar was the father who stood by me as my dad drew his final breaths, and who—from memory—began to recite one of the poems both he and my dad loved:

UNDER the wide and starry sky
Dig the grave and let me lie:
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will.

This be the verse you ‘grave for me:
Here he lies where he long’d to be;
Home is the sailor, home from the sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.

– Robert Louis Stevenson

I’d like to think that they are laughing together somewhere, arguing about some outrageously academic, esoteric, political, religious, literary, technological topic…or maybe they are just comparing notes on the daughter who is writing this and missing them.

 

Left-Right: my father Dr. K.C. Khemka, my other father Dr. Shahid Athar. Friends and brothers once more together.

Whether it’s grief, love, anger, commitment, or loss, what emotion that scares you the most to put down paper? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Upcoming Classes for August & September

Brand Boss: When Your Name Alone Can Sell

Instructor: Kristen Lamb
Price: General Admission $55.00 USD/ GOLD Level $175
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Thursday, September 13th, 2018. 7:00-9:00 p.m. EST

REGISTER HERE

Building Planet X: Out-of-This-World-Building for Speculative Fiction

Instructor: Cait Reynolds
Price: $55.00 USD
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Saturday, September 8th, 2018. 10:00 a.m.—12:00 p.m. EST

REGISTER HERE

Populating Planet X: Creating Realistic, Relatable Characters in Speculative Fiction

Instructors: Cait Reynolds & Kristen Lamb
Price: $55.00 USD
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Saturday, September 8th, 2018. 1:00—3:00 p.m. EST

REGISTER HERE

Beyond Planet X: Mastering Speculative Fiction

Instructor: Kristen Lamb
Price: $55.00 USD
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Saturday, September 8th, 2018. 4:00—6:00 p.m. EST

REGISTER HERE

The XXX Files: The Planet X Speculative Fiction 3-Class Bundle

Instructors: Cait Reynolds & Kristen Lamb
Price: $110.00 USD (It’s LITERALLY one class FREE!)
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Saturday, September 8th, 2018. 10:00 a.m.—6:00 p.m. EST.

REGISTER HERE

Recordings of all three classes is also included with purchase.

Go Fish: Finding the Right Beta Readers

Instructor: Cait Reynolds
Price: $55.00 USD
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Friday, August 24, 2018. 7:00-9:00 p.m.

REGISTER HERE

More Than Gore: How to Write Horror

Instructor: Kristen Lamb
Price: $40.00 USD
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: THURSDAY, August 30th, 2018. 7:00-9:00 p.m. EST

REGISTER HERE

Keywordpalooza: Tune in, mellow out, and learn to love keywords for Amazon

Instructor: Cait Reynolds
Price: $55.00 USD
Where: W.A.N.A. Digital Classroom
When: Friday, September 7, 2018. 7:00—9:00 p.m. EST

REGISTER HERE

The post Death Becomes Them: How Characters Come Alive in Death appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Last time, we talked about Impostor Syndrome, how many of us struggle with feeling like a fraud. This often dovetails into a nasty cycle of over-achieving as a coping mechanism to shield us from feelings, failure, pain, etc. But, like many coping mechanisms, they can be great for the short-term but a living hell if we allow them to become a habit.

Habits can be particularly insidious because its behavior so ingrained it’s subconscious. Add on top of this a world that keeps pushing us to go faster, do more, be more. This adds fuel to the proverbial fire.

Our modern world trains us to never hit the ‘OFF’ switch because there’s money to be made if we’re constantly plugged into the Matrix.

Perhaps we work at a computer all day. How do we take a break? We hop on-line, dive into social media, watch Netflix or play on-line games. We’re never taking time to ‘get out of our own head’ which is often why we lose touch with our emotions.

As a consequence, our capacity to ‘feel’ atrophies.

The data’s already piling up. Technology is wreaking havoc on our emotional, psychological and physical health. As technology becomes more ingrained in our everyday world, part of culture, we’re wise to pay attention. Technology is increasing codependency, anxiety, and depression, while also wrecking memory, social skills, and our ability to empathize.

Our Western culture already had an unhealthy relationship with emotions, and it seems technology is making this worse. We’re addicted to distraction.

Socially Acceptable Emotions

As humans, we’re naturally imbued with a vast pallet of emotions. No emotion is inherently good or bad but all are necessary and serve a purpose.

When we repress one emotion, it’s like plugging a geyser. That will only work so long until there is an eruption of some sort. For instance, if we believe we don’t deserve joy and shuffle past this emotion to go onto the ‘next’ achievement, it can eventually manifest as grief.

Why?

Playing armchair shrink, we’re grieving the moments of joy that have come and gone that we failed to grab hold of. We lose sense of purpose because if there is no joy, no sense of I DID IT! Why are we even bothering?

There’s this odd social dogma that being happy is good, and, that if we aren’t happy something is wrong with us. Anger, sadness, disappointment, disillusionment, rage, fear, etc. are ‘bad.’ If we can’t be any of these, then busy works just fine and comes with lots of kudos.

When someone is sad, angry, upset, it makes us uncomfortable. We switch into trying to make the person ‘feel better.’ But is this always the best course of action? It is (perhaps) for us, because ‘bad’ emotions make us uncomfortable. Additionally, since we’ve been reared unprepared for these emotions within ourselves, how can we help anyone else?

Grief and Loss

On the last post, I mentioned I’d recently come unstitched because I use work and achievement and being responsible to numb out. Yet, if we study human history, we’ve gotten away from many of the traditions and practices which used to accommodate the ‘bad’ emotions.

For instance, let’s dial back a century and look at death and loss. I recently listened to an excellent Southern Gothic, Black Water by Michael McDowell (the unabridged saga). In the book, when there’s a death, those impacted hung black wreaths on their doors. They also hung black wreaths on the front of the cars. Women wore black and men wore black arm bands.

Grief and loss possessed a physical outward expression, a bold honesty to the world claiming pain. Oh and wonders of wonders! This was OKAY.

The community respected, honored and nurtured those hurting. There used to be a mandatory time period for grieving.

Yet, how many of you have lost a loved one and work wanted to know if you’d be back within the week? How many of you have experienced a loss and YOU expected YOU to be back at work within the week?

Modern World & Loss

I spent most of my growing up years with my grandparents, meaning my grandmother served also as a mother. I lost my grandmother July 4th two years ago. Problem was she died when July 4th happened on a Monday. No long weekend to get over that one.

Also, since her death was ‘only’ one in a long series of losses, I didn’t mention it a lot. I’d already ‘burdened others’ with four deaths in the previous year. Don’t want to be too needy. Then, after she passed, I lost four more loved ones in the next six months.

To be clear, no we weren’t hit by bad luck or plague. I was extremely blessed with a large family I loved very much, who lived VERY long lives. This meant these great aunts and uncles and grandparents had been a fixture in my world since I could remember. Problem was they were all hitting their 80s and 90s at about the same time…meaning I was losing them at about the same time.

Yet, what complicated my grieving (or lack thereof) was that even if I’d lost ONE person, our culture rushes past death.

To be blunt, our culture rushes past loss in general. Breakups, divorces, job loss, kids going off to college, getting dumped, losing a business, etc. are all ‘deaths.’

Yet, how often are we encouraged to ‘forget about it,’ ‘move on,’ ‘get back on the horse that threw ya,’ and so forth? Worse, how often do we encourage others the same way? *cringes* Our kids cry because they lost a game, fought with a friend, or broke a toy, and immediately we comfort…and distract them. Again, guilty as charged.

Why can’t someone feel sad? Maybe WE can feel sad. Calm down. Baby steps.

How Does It FEEL?

Experiences, good and bad, are meant to be FELT. Yet, how often are we thinking when we should be FEELING? Part of me is sad that there are not a lot of pictures of my growing up years.

Cameras, film, processing film cost money. Most regular people couldn’t afford home movie cameras to ‘document’ the birthday, graduation, birth, baby’s first steps, etc.

Yet, I’m also happy about this. The handful of old pictures evoke far more emotion than the 1700 images on my current iPhone. Why? Because BACK THEN, I was fully present in the vacation, party, family reunion, etc. I was free to feel.

I watch those around me (and I’m guilty, too) so busy taking pictures (to post on Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, or to ‘remember’) they’re actually not present in the PRESENT. Left brain (analytical) is so busy documenting the joy, we’re not slowing down to FEEL the joy because right brain is told to wait.

It was tough for me when I visited New Zealand last year. I wanted to take pictures of everything! Film ALL THE THINGS so I could REMEMBER!

I had to chastise myself to stop, put down the iPhone and BE PRESENT. Experience the majesty, the elation, the beauty and FEEL them all.

Imprint the moments in my bones and my mind. Viewing mountains through a small screen was a shill for stopping to simply enjoy the view.

We’ve turned into a world of documentary-makers. Yet oddly, what good is the film or picture to recall a moment where we failed to be fully present?

If we’re not experiencing emotions during the graduation or the wedding, then what is that short video truly going to bring back? What will we feel?

Paralysis of Analysis

If we’re numbing and avoiding grief and emotionally absent from joy, this has a cumulative effect. Over time, we drift away from what makes us human (our feelings). When we are hurt or angry or sad, we analyze it away.

Google a blog about how to handle being dumped. Enjoying a good time? Grab the phones and DOCUMENT.

It’s fair to say most of the population over thirty is growing increasingly concerned with how much people are staring at their phones all the time.

We see families at dinner in a restaurant talking to people on-line, ignoring the ones across the table. Couples on vacation busy taking pictures of ‘moments’ instead of making real moments.

I’m old enough to remember when beauty parlors (salons) were hives of talk, chatter, gossip and laughter. Now, when I go get my hair done the women all sit staring at tablets and phones, checking email and Facebook.

I’ve made it a point to interrupt them, especially the young ones.

One time, I interrupted a young 20-Something on her phone to talk. I asked her about what she was doing, why she was there to get her hair highlighted…and she gaped at me like a deer caught in headlights. Smiling, I said, ‘Facebook will be there in an hour. Promise. But I won’t be. Tell me where you’re going to college?’

Initially she seemed on the verge of apoplexy, but over time was smiling and telling me about how she was going off to UT Austin and was hoping to go to law school. Within minutes, she was laughing and excited and had forgotten all about her phone.

Put the Phone DOWN

This seems like strange advice from a social media expert, but it’s actually okay to put the phone away and to not document every moment for posterity . That image posted on Facebook will be gone in a couple days. Yet, make an authentic memory and that’s there for life.

When my nephew graduated and everyone had phones aloft, I simply watched, listened, and enjoyed. Let myself feel. I guarantee that memory will be far more visceral, hold exponentially more emotional weight than the times I was ‘busy’ taking pictures of every minute. I was too distracted to take in the smells, sounds, textures, and feelings.

We only have so much time, and we have a choice. Reality or virtual reality? I believe the more willing we are to be present, the more comfortable we’ll become with our emotions. If more of us do this, the more comfortable we’ll grow with other people’s emotions.

Let Them Cry

Ever hear that advice for babies? Crying is good for us. We need to let ourselves CRY. Crying releases stress hormones and increases the feel-good hormones. Besides, the emotion will be there in one form or another. If we fail to feel it real-time and at full strength, we hammer it flat.

Flattened emotions take up more metaphorical surface area. Thus, instead of gut-wrenching grief that lasts only a month or six months, we might be left with dull, aching depression spanning years.

If we don’t dive into joy so intense we feel we might burst, we could be left with saccharin memories (artificially sweet and not quite ‘the real thing’).

As writers, being emotionally attuned is critical for superlative writing. Empathy is our greatest tool, but empathy demands we’ve experienced an emotion. If we keep numbing, avoiding, documenting, and checking out, it shows in the writing. We end up with talking heads, plot puppets and ‘bad situations’ instead of drama.

We remember great stories for one reason and one reason only: How they made us FEEL. Want to be a great writer? Less thinking, more feeling . Pay attention to feelings (ALL of them) because it will make you healthier as a person and stronger as a writer.

In the End

Moderation is key. I love social media, blogging, chatting with people all over the world. Yet just because the world doesn’t have boundaries doesn’t mean boundaries aren’t a good idea.

My goal with this post is to challenge us to FEEL, because what makes us humans and not robots is we FEEL. We feel happy, sad, elated, crushed, proud, jealous and we NEED to feel those emotions and MORE.

I, too, am a work in progress. But, I believe if I work on slowing down, learning to feel the good and bad and ugly I will get better at it. Like all things, practice makes perfect. Setting down my iPhone for more of the iFeel .

What Are Your Thoughts? (Then Feel FREE to Go OffLine!)

Do you seem to struggle more in our modern age with being able to feel? When a negative experience hits, are you (like me) quick to go look up a blog, binge-watch HBO, or scroll Facebook? Are you afraid to feel? Unused to being able to feel? Have you turned into a mini-documentary maker, too?

Have you become addicted to distraction? Are there childhood memories that are SO REAL (even decades later) because you didn’t have any technology to interrupt? So you remember the smell of the grass and Coppertone, the feel of the sand, the bite of saltwater up your nose when you first dove into the ocean…

If you do? SHARE! I’d LOVE to hear about these authentic moments!

I love hearing from you!

What do you WIN? For the month of JUNE, for everyone who leaves a comment, I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly. I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

The post Learning to FEEL: Put Down the iPhone & Embrace the iFeel appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Today I have on my sassy pants because there’s a messy task ahead. Oh it will be a TON of fun, but messy. We are going to tip over some sacred cows like how fun is evil and misery is awesome.

Granted I am from Texas and have heard stories of those miscreants who’ve sneaked (snuck? snucked?) in under cover of darkness to traipse across pastures littered with steaming cow poo…for the sheer joy of pushing over sleeping bovines.

I, myself, have never indulged in this innocent mischief and remain dubious this “cow-tipping” thing is even real. But supposedly the boogeyman isn’t real and yet–even as an adult–I never sleep with a foot off the edge of the bed.

#AreUCrazy

I can’t see how tipping over innocent cows could be half the fun we hear it is, but I assure you tipping these sacred cows?

LOADS of FUN.

Sacred Cow #1—Fun=Ineffective Time-Waster

Remember being a kid and it was actually okay to have fun? Then something weird happened in adolescence and everything got super serious. Teens of course have hormones and the whole “forging a distinctive identity” thing to blame, not to mention *ugh* high school.

But what is our excuse?

As kids we longed to grow up, to be ADULTS, so we could be…FREE.

About that. We humans are weird.

Give us anything that might liberate us and make life BETTER, and we will quickly turn it into a soul-sucking chore. It is simply astounding all the stuff that is fun…that we RUIN.

Bear with me.

We might start at the gym because we know going for a walk is good for us. We also know the gym is climate controlled so we won’t be able to use rain or sun or wind as an excuse to not get some exercise.

We start walking and feeling better. Yay, lower back feels great. Thirty minutes. Happy endorphins and we are very proud of what we have done.

We bask in the glow of our one month of walking five days a week for thirty minutes. In fact, we feel this self-discipline thing really isn’t so hard at all!

THEN…

A personal trainer notices we’ve been at the gym regularly and steps in to…help.

DON’T FALL FOR IT! IT’S A TRICK!

Sacred Cow #2—TRUST the “Experts”

Mere moments earlier, we felt AWESOME, only now realize how misguided we were. Oh, thank goodness this expert saved us from destruction!

The trainer, deeply concerned for our welfare tells us with all kinds of statistics and studies that our silly walking is not enough.

No, we must add in weight training. Not just any weight training. No, it needs to be high weight low reps. No, high reps low weight. Scratch that, high intensity!

No! You fool! You are overtraining! You need recovery time. Oh, you took recovery time because you can’t sit on the potty without a Life Alert bracelet? You’re just going to have to suck it up.

Did we mention your diet?

Remember, simplicity is KEY.

If you do cardio, eat carbs 90 minutes before aerobic exercise and protein 30 minutes before weight training. Then protein within 90 minutes after doing cardio.

Post-workout, rub your body in coconut oil (unrefined, of course) and stretch but only when Mercury is in retrograde–and within the 123 minute window after cardio–or the stretching and expensive coconut oil all a waste.

Got it? No. Okay, let’s create a plan for you. Mastercard or Visa?

The next thing we know this FUN time at the gym has now turned into a personal hell where we are prodded by macro-nutrients and micro-nutrients all using pointy vitamin-supplement pitch forks.

We cling to that trainer who saved us from our pointless 30-minute walks and toss money at her if only she can help it all make sense (or she will go away)!

More often than not, we return to our blanket fort…where there are snacks.

We adults do this crap ALL THE TIME. Hey I am guilty, too. We know as adults we should want to be better, do better and we start out well-meaning enough.

Yet we fall for it…

Sacred Cow #3—The More It SUCKS the BETTER!

From books on “simple home organization” to “better parenting” to “eating healthier” to “financial freedom” we generally tend to fall into this bizarre belief that the more it sucks, the better it must be.

Like the crappier food tastes, the healthier it is!

Right?

Soon, we start shackling ourselves to all kinds of bizarre and UNFUN legalism. We wanted to be free (of extra weight, too much clutter, too many bills).

Yet all these books and courses and virtual tools to save time and make life better…kinda just make us want to drink heavily and OD on brownie batter.

We soon find we avoid the gym we once loved like Ebola, are afraid of our mailbox, and with our spouse and kids? We turn into the HULK only meaner and in yoga pants (because those won’t split when we “turn”).

THIS IS A SPONTANEOUS SCHEDULED FAMILY FUN SESSION AND SO HELP ME YOU BETTER START SMILING OR I…WILL…END…YOU!

Hmm, maybe just me.

Why DO We DO This?

Much can be blamed on Western culture (Americans being the most guilty). Many of us are taught from youth that FUN=BAD.

We’re riddled with guilt about pleasure and fun (and sure, we can probably blame those sour-faced Puritans for laying the groundwork).

*stabs Plymouth Rock in my mind*

Yet kids are robbed of recess, daydreaming is forbidden, and only school-sanctioned imaginative activities are allowed (refer to why my son was kicked out of preschool for liking zombies). Put a kid in sports, gymnastics or dance and see how long it takes for all the fun to get sucked right out of THAT.

Why does all this happen?

Because fun-stealing is big business if we allow it.

Cruise lines can sell us a package of joy and harmony and relaxation. Then, the pharmaceutical companies step in to sell us the anti-anxiety meds required for taking a whole week off to have…*gulp* fun.

We return to our day jobs and 547 unread emails is our penalty for being so selfish as to believe we might actually need to rest now and again.

Maybe we should buy that app to check messages at sea.

Many Americans proudly wear the “I Haven’t Taken a Day Off Since Y-2K” badge of honor…even though we all secretly hate them and know if they took a little time for fun, they might actually not be such frigging jerks.

*breathes deeply*

And Ms. I Never Take Vaca is there to sneer at us for our “weakness.” She embodies FUN! Because the sheer joy of leading the PTA, baking a zillion nut-free GF cookies, and zooming her kids to every social event imaginable is fulfillment in and of itself and all the “fun” required for “good mothers.”

*stabs her in our minds, too*

And Mr. I Never Need Holiday is there at work (where else?). He recommends the Intensive Weeklong Fasting and Time-Management-Leadership-Be-Your Best-Self-in-Less-Than-Nine-Minutes-a-Day-Retreat…which is of course, conveniently offered on-line.

Also, he can reach us every minute of the day via text or email…unlike when we were so naughty as to take that cruise.

It’s madness. I know!

Yet here we are. All staring at each other on the crazy train wondering how the heck we keep meeting again.

Follow the Money

Honest truth is authentic fun is not near the moneymaker as the “shill” of fun. Look at all those “activities” I mentioned that should be fun and who’s there to step in? Experts.

Who happen to make money.

Who can help us with our exercise, diet, meditation, and train our kids for the Olympics!

***Even though little Mackenzie just liked doing cartwheels and we thought gymnastics class would be fun—silly us!

When we were kids who simply had FUN, we didn’t count how many minutes of cardio we’d done riding bikes four hours straight. We gave no thought to the carbs or lack of macro-nutrients in that giant cherry Slurpee we inhaled.

Then we grew up and used our larger and more highly developed brains to think all the fun out of well…pretty much everything.

I see this over and over in social media.

The greatest tool writers have been handed to become free, is being used to enslave us.

“Experts” tell us that an author platform is serious business. If we’re having fun, then we aren’t being professional.

We need automation and vlogs and podcasts and to be everywhere on every site all the time contributing mind-blowing content for exposure!

*feels dirty inside*

Then there is the gathering emails, decoding analytics, sales strategies, promotional tactics, targeting our market…

Call me crazy, but does any of that sound like ANY FUN? SERIOUSLY! We all started this writing journey because we are the dreamers and find imaginary people more interesting than real ones (because they are). We wanted to write to be FREE!

To have FUN!

Granted, a brand is important and social media is vital, and selling lots of books way more fun than selling no books. But anyone who’s shoveling out manure from one of those sacred cows we tipped?

RUN!

Refuse the Kool-Aid

On social media FUN is SUPER effective. People are drawn to it. The world is a dark and dreary place and getting gloomier by the second. Fun stands out.

Authenticity is priceless! We know it when we see it because joy shines bright!

It creates genuine connections (code for relationships). But here is the kicker! Friendship, trust, care, hope, joy and fun cannot be measured in metrics .

And when stuff is fun–as in truly fun–we ENJOY DOING IT. When we enjoy it, we don’t have to outsource it, set reminders or pay people to do it FOR us.

I am not completely eschewing all experts because um…that would be dumb. Experts who empower us are great! Who teach us how to set up properly to avoid injury, waste or pain? Yay!

But experts who make us into permanent revenue streams because they’ve overwhelmed us and made us hysterical?

RUN!

Because many will convince us the more something sucks the better it works…but they (benevolently) have an affordable plan to deliver us from this suckage.

Yep.

Blunt truth is if we don’t tip some of these sacred cows, it just leaves us the cash cow.

In the end, life is short. Enjoy it.

What are your thoughts? Are you like me and struggle with fun? Then try to do something fun and overcomplicate it and wreck it? I know I do. Hey, I am a work in progress too!

Do you feel like “experts” are constantly there to pounce on you and wring cash out of you? Do you fall for the “It only works if I am miserable”?

Hey I write this blog for FREE and constantly look for experts, but to stay on top of scm, trends, business, craft, I have to be SUPER careful. I strive to be better to help y’all be better and that is not always easy *deletes 765 unsolicited emails from experts*

I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU! And I am NOT above BRIBERY!

What do you WIN? For the month of OCTOBER, for everyone who leaves a comment, I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly. I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

To also prove social media is and should be super fun and that while you might need a little training, you DO NOT need a team of professionals paid to “manage your brand”:

I have two upcoming classes Social Media FREEDOM–Harnessing Passion & Creativity to Cultivate Fans & Harnessing Our Writing POWER–The Blog

I highly recommend you sign up for one of our upcoming classes listed below. ****Note, those who subscribe by email, the visual gallery doesn’t show, so please click through and sign up! We look forward to seeing you and serving you in class! Helping you be the best you can so your work can stand apart .

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The post Fun is for LOSERS! If You Aren’t Miserable, You’re Doing it WRONG! appeared first on Kristen Lamb.

Naturally, though, we begin with the obligatory Denny Basenji picture.

Dear Leader is pensive this morning.

Please don’t worry that I am about to abandon the magnificent and wonderful tradition of this blog in staying the f*ck away from politics, etc. However, I found that the recent ugliness that claimed the life of an innocent woman raised a truly poignant, pertinent question for writers:

How do we as writers properly use ugly things?

Sure, a lot of us stay away from these topics or avoid writing in the genres that might land us in cultural minefields. But, we all reach a moment when our fingers pause over the keyboard as we wonder if we really should use that word, or describe a character with a particular label, or hint at a certain belief. It’s universal and unavoidable, really. Because when we are telling stories that mean something to us, that meaning is by nature complex and reflective of the entire spectrum from white to grey to black.

What are your intentions toward my novel, young man?

Writers are sneaky. We like to explore our vulnerabilities, controversial or dark thoughts, and unpopular opinions using the cloak-and-dagger of “plot” and “characters” and especially “the antagonist.”

This is absolutely the right thing to do. Our ability to slip in and out of disguise, to inhabit other lives and other worlds, is the Promethean gift to writers. Actors are similar to us, except they do it in a way that is physical and immediate. Whereas, we writers sip our tea, smile a little, and ponder if gutting the host with a cheese knife would leave enough forensic evidence for the pathologist to know that we were served camembert instead of brie.

This is all well and good.

Things become sticky when we fail to be honest with ourselves about our motivations. The ability to “shape shift” into our fiction comes with an equal measure of responsibility. We need to look at what we are saying and why we are saying it. Not just the general theme or message. We have to ask the hard questions of ourselves:

• How did we get to this point in our lives where we need to write about this theme?
• Could my message be seen from a different viewpoint? Can I accept that? Why or why not?
• What does this message say about me as a person and what I believe and value?
• Am I doing this to work off a grudge? Against whom or what? Why or why not?
• Am I doing this so I can say things I am not normally allowed to say in society? Why or why not?

Notice that little phrase I keep using? “Why or why not?”

We can’t just stop at the first level of answers we give ourselves. If we are going to be authentic, honest, and meaningful, we must push ourselves to look unflinchingly at the truth – good, bad, ugly, and bad hair day – of who we truly are.

It is only when we are truthful about our own motivations that we can be meaningful…and careful when we handle ugly things.

You have the right to remain silent.

Writing difficult, ugly, and controversial things is a privilege, not a right. I mean, technically, yes, we have the First Amendment on our side. But, the moment we write something carelessly or thoughtlessly, we forfeit our alibi with our readers…and ourselves.

This is not about political correctness, identity politics, or anything like that. Those are incendiary labels that get shot back and forth in society like flaming tennis balls at the Wimbledon from hell.

This is about being honest with ourselves and doing the work to think through not just why we are writing something, but also tapping into our empathy to see if we are carelessly or thoughtlessly saying something that is needlessly hurtful to others.

That’s not to say that as writers, we can’t use stereotypes, prejudices, etc. We absolutely can – and often should. The difference is in our motivation and the care with which we do so.

Please note the second half of that sentence: the care with which we do so.

Because if the road to hell is paved with good intentions, thoughtful writing craft is the GPS of salvation. 

Handling ugly things requires the care and skill of a Ming dynasty vase collection curator. When we we use an ugly thing, we need to slow down, maybe even come to a full stop. This is a moment for analyzing what we are about to say, why we are saying it, which character/POV is saying it, why we chose that character/POV, what are that character’s motives and beliefs, and is this truly necessary to the story at that moment?

Ugly things are powerful. Ugly things evoke a visceral reaction in a reader that few other aspects of fiction can do. Ugly things can bring up ugly memories, traumas, deep fears, blistering rage, and gut-wrenching sorrow. Ugly things can turn the reader’s world upside down or make them face a world they had been hiding from.

This would be a moment to insert that old chestnut about absolute power corrupting absolutely. Sure, we as writers may not be making the kind of bank that a hedge fund manager or anesthesiologist makes, but we have the ability to haunt someone’s waking moments for weeks – if not months – after reading our words. That, my friends, is absolute power.

If we cannot or are unwilling to do the work to use our power responsibly and respectfully, then perhaps we should remain silent…

Speech therapy.

I have been toying with the idea of offering a class on this subject. I’d want it to be something where we really get into the weeds of how/when/not to use specific words, stereotypes, etc. However, it’s all too easy for a class like that to degenerate into a session of everyone complaining about the wrongs done to them as a person or as a writer. I include myself in this worry because this topic is a slippery slope. No, wait, it’s a glass slope covered in ice, with a layer of oil poured on top, and paved with banana skins for good measure.

Still, I think it might be something worth trying out. If you’d like to be part of this experiment, leave a comment and let me know!

***

For the month of AUGUST, for everyone who leaves a comment, I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

***

CATCH THE LAST CLASSES FOR AUGUST AND WATCH HERE FOR OUR WHOLE NEW LINE-UP OF SEPTEMBER CLASSES!

All classes come with a FREE recording!

We’ve added in classes on erotica/high heat romance, fantasy, how to write strong female characters and MORE! Classes with me, with USA Today Best-Selling Author Cait Reynolds and award-winning author and journalist Lisa-Hall Wilson. So click on a tile and sign up!

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The post Saying What You Mean: Controversial Language in Fiction appeared first on Kristen Lamb.