10 Ways to Improve Your "Likability Quotient"

A couple weeks ago, I had a post about how to sell fiction. We explored the WHY behind the BUY. The same tools that will sell car insurance or bank accounts won’t work for selling books. Fiction is emotional, and often we will purchase based off feelings. This is why likability on social media is so crucial to marketing. We are no longer selling stories…we are selling ourselves, which just confirms for me that writers really are the oldest profession in the world. But that’s another topic entirely :D.

Often we will judge a book by its cover author. If interacting with the author is a pleasant experience, we feel better about purchasing their books and even promoting them to our network of connections. Conversely, if an author is self-centered, self-promotes non-stop, spams everyone in sight, takes without giving in return and acts like an equestrian derriere, we would sooner suck nails through a straw than part with .99 that would benefit the jerk writer. A few of you were concerned, however, about how to be “liked.” No need to panic. Today’s post is here to help. Connecting with others is so simple that we frequently make it harder than it needs to be. Being likable doesn’t mean we need to be phoney.

There are a lot of different ways to do social media. My WANA methods rely heavily on learning to be part of a team, and, as we have discussed before, this is very contrary to traditional marketing. I believe social media works like a barn-raising. Everyone does a little bit for the good of the whole. Even just being mindful to do small things makes a huge difference in the long-run.

One of the biggest obstacles we face in social media is that we do have to limit the self-promotion. It turns people off and they really aren’t likely to listen when we go around tooting our own horn. What do we do then? We do what is counterintuitive…we support others.

The single largest determining factor as to whether a person will succeed or not on social media is our L.Q. Heard of I.Q.? Well, L.Q. is your Likabilty Quotient.

We don’t care how smart you are as much as we care if we LIKE you. When working on our social media platform, the ever-present questions should always be:

Do people like me?

I know it sounds crazy, but it is true. And there is no need to panic. Calm down. You don’t need to hide all your Star Trek paraphernalia and tell your friends to get in the closet. This isn’t high school, where popularity is based on stupid stuff.

Likability is important. Why? We hang out with people we like. We promote them. We go out of our way for them. We want them to succeed.

Our information can be the best on the web, but when pitted against another blogger with not-as-great-information…but she connects to readers and we don’t? The likable blogger will win. If she promotes others and we don’t? Again, she will win.

Being an excellent writer is not enough.  When we get out on social media (or even launch a blog) we must make sure we have good content. That is a no-brainer. I don’t know about you guys, but find it hard to like people in person who ramble or talk to hear the sound of their own voice. On the web, I like substance just as much.

But, in addition to that great content, we MUST actively work on how others perceive us. We must become likable. How to we become likable? We serve others first. Remember the barn-raising? Help them raise their barn, and most people will be more than happy to return the favor.

Top 10 Ways to Raise Your L.Q.

1. If we are on Twitter and we know an author writes great blogs, RT (retweet) for them. It only takes a minute of time, and it earns you a reputation of being an edifier.

2. Comment on blogs (REAL Comments). A healthy comments section is a sign of a healthy blog. Comments are encouraging to bloggers who take a lot of time to craft meaningful posts. When readers take time to comment, it has the potential to generate dialogue. Dialogue is critical for a blog to thrive.  I want comments on my blog, so I go out of my way to comment on the blogs of others.

3. Reply to comments on our own blogs. I wish I could reply to every single last one of you. You guys have no idea how much you make my day when you take the time to post feedback, compliments or even your opinions. Remember in social media, our goal is to form relationships. Relationships are two-way streets.

4. Visit the sites of those who post in your comments. You guys might not be aware, but I am always on the lookout for great blogs for the mash-up. I regularly click on your websites and blogs.

5. Embed trackbacks (hyperlinks)…um the blue thingies. Link to other blogs you like. Link to books you like. Hey, we need all the help we can get these days. There are A LOT of choices. Mash-ups (lists of favorite links/blogs) and even recommendations are a great way to help out other writers and generate more traffic to your blog at the same time. Everyone wins.

6. Blog about your favorite books, then link to that author’s book, home page or blog. Need blogging ideas? Go out of your way to promote others. Part of why I talk so much about Bob Mayer, James Scott Bell, Les Edgerton, Donald Maass, Blake Snyder, Jessica Morrell and Christopher Vogler is because these writers are my heroes. I believe that these are the best teachers in the industry. Now, instead of them having to go out and self-promote I have gifted them with the best gift a writer can have….a genuine word-of-mouth recommendation from a fan. Make life easy on other authors, and who knows? They might one day love to return the favor.

7. When you see a blog/book you like, take a moment to tweet the post or repost the link on your FB page. This helps the blogger/author gain exposure she otherwise wouldn’t have. It also benefits people in your circle of friends in that you are acting as a filter for great information…which helps your platform grow because people trust you for quality goods.

8. Openly praise. When I see a writer post a blog, I go out of my way to open, scan and take a look. Then, when I post, I make sure to add a “Great post!” or a “Very interesting!” Trust me. People remember an authentic compliment.

9. Repost someone else’s blog. Some people might get weird about this, but this is an amazing way to spread influence for you and the blogger you repost. Have the flu? Power outage and you don’t know how you will get a blog together in time? No worries. Just repost. How do you do this?

Give the title of the blog, and make it very clear you are reposting someone else’s content. Only give the first couple paragraphs…enough to hook a reader. Then add a hyperlink to the original blog. Now you have a blog post and the blogger you promoted now has exposure to your regular followers. I gain a lot of subscriptions this way. There are some people who had never heard of me until Marilag Lubag (Hi Marilag!) reposted one of my blogs. Her readers followed the hyperlink, loved my blog (in its entirety), and I have new fans. Yippppeeee!

10. At least hit the “Like” button. I know that sometimes I read blogs on my phone and I really don’t feel like trying to type out a compliment. I have a touch screen and there is an auto-correct function. My compliment would probably look like this:

 I loved your blood. You make so many grape poinsettias and I wish I wood have fought of it. Grape stuff. Looking forehead to next leek’s blood.

So if you don’t want a blogger thinking you want to “leak their blood” instead of “read their blog” it is fine. Hit the “Like” button. Takes two seconds and it encourages the writer who put their effort into the blonde…blood…blog. And they WILL remember your face.

You know, I didn’t always do things the right way. In the beginning, my blogs sounded more like lectures. Was I stuck up? No. Was I insecure and waiting for the digital cabbages to come flying through the screen? Yes. Fear of saying the wrong thing or sounding stupid or making a mistake can keep us from genuinely interacting. But when we fail to interact, what others see is a snob, not someone who is literally terrified that both feet will fly in her mouth. I know it doesn’t make sense, but humans are self-centered, insecure and neurotic.

If someone makes a weird face, we automatically assume they are looking at our fat thighs (okay, maybe that is just me). We don’t stop to think that person might be shy. Why? Because we are paranoid narcissists and like to believe we influence everything. It’s a control thing. You know I am right :D. You, in the back, lurking on my blog. We do like you, you just were so quiet you blended in with HTML. Come hang out. Have a snack.

Can you spot the writer?

Being likable is far easier than it seems. I guarantee you that if you just employ a handful of those ten tactics, your following will improve tremendously. Why? Because you will be giving others what we all desperately need…support, validation, compliments.

What are some habits/behaviors that you guys LIKE? What small or big things can others do that just warms your heart and puts you on their team? Conversely, what are some pet peeves? Maybe we are screwing up but don’t know. Educate us! I want to hear from you guys.

I LOVE hearing from you!

And to prove it and show my love, for the month of February, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner every week for a critique of your first five pages. At the end of February I will pick a winner for the grand prize. A free critique from me on the first 15 pages of your novel. Good luck!

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . Both books are ON SALE for $4.99!!!! And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.


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  1. That people seeing you as stuck up instead of shy really bugs me, I’ve had that with my in-laws. Once you’ve been through a stage in life where every stupid thing you say gets laughed at you do get scared of foot in mouth. I get scared that all my sleep-deprived comments around the blogosphere will appear ahead of my blog posts in Google lol. I need to work on that. And many other things…Thanks, Kristen

  2. Kristen,
    Your blonde, blood I mean blog is fabulous! I really like you! I really have to buy your books! I also really need to get back to writing today.

  3. Great tips! I find that honestly commenting on other blogs and interacting on twitter had helped my book pool grow a lot!

  4. Enjoyed your posts so much this week, Kristen. Love your warmth and your honesty!


  5. Thanks for the terrific tips; they’ll be a HUGE help.

  6. Great post, as always, Kristen. This reiterates a lot of what I read in your book. I learned so much when I decided to buy that book. I’m so, so glad I did! Thanks for the tips/reminders to be kind and serve others. It really makes us happier, I think. I get such a high off the communication I have with my friends, and yes, my followers and those I follow are my friends. They become my friends, and it’s fun! It goes way beyond making myself likeable so that hopefully more people will read my book or my blog or whatever.

  7. Simple advice and common sense too!Also, I definitely tune out the people who constantly tweet or FB the same thing about their books/events all the time. I literally skip over it. They have decreased their likeability to me.

    Don Lafferty (http://donaldlafferty.com/) mentioned to me in a social media seminar once to make yourself likeable in social media to follow this rule: for every 12 tweets promoting other people then do 1 tweet promoting you. The 12/1 rule.

  8. Great post, even though it hurts. I’m a bit of a bitch (especially when in reviewer mode) and I’m working on my likability. I just don’t want to sacrifice what makes me unique and attractive to most of my readers (“refreshingly honest” to them…”acid tongue” to others). I wish my work would speak on its own and I didn’t have to kiss ass…

  9. I loved this post, and I stumble on how to be likeable. This article is what I needed, and I will apply these tips to see the results.

  10. But I do promote the heck out of people, especially with my positive reviews, Book Gems feature, RTs, Twitter shout-outs, FB posts, etc. Le sigh.

      • Author Kristen Lamb on February 3, 2012 at 12:11 pm
      • Reply

      I think that is what will help a lot. Balance with as much positive as you can and it all evens out. People will take your snarkiness in context of the bigger picture of a person who is caring and supportive.

  11. It’s funny because I have been reading other writing blogs and weirdly enough, i can’t stomach them. So I keep coming back to yours. (Technically you come to me, because I have an email subscription.) But the WAY you write really clicks with me. I need it this information to be interesting and funny to really “get it.” So I am grateful for your blogging! Great ideas in this post!

  12. I try to find an hour every day to find blogs and posts I like enough to “like” and on which to leave a long-ish comment. Without comments/dialogue, it’s really boring and the conversation is so much fun! I love posting and knowing that even at 2am my time one of my followers in NZ or Australia will soon weigh in.

    I think being authentically yourself (if “you”, as you are here, are funny, fun, down to earth, warm and helpful) is quite sufficient.

      • Author Kristen Lamb on February 3, 2012 at 12:10 pm
      • Reply

      I always enjoy getting comments from you because you clearly take time and give the comment thought. It makes you memorable in a good way, so keep it up! We are noticing :D!

  13. Likeability. Sometimes, I think writers go from being likeable (akin to a cute puppy in their excitement when they first publish a book) to being downright obnoxious (posting about their 20th release in four weeks and their billionth win in some contest or another, or – my huge pet peeve – posting how many books they sold that week). I’ve gotten to the point where I just delete those emails unread.

    It’s a fine line to walk and I’ll admit I’m leery of trying. But of course I do. And I try very hard not to be obnoxious about it…Okay, so likeable. I can work on that, lol! Cheers hon – thanks for the great advice, as usual.

  14. So many bloggers need to read this. I’ll link to it in my Sunday post 🙂

    1. I followed Ann. *giggles* And now this post is nicely bookmarked and stashed with the bookmarks for her blog posts on Bloggng.

      Anywho… ah yes I remember what I was going to say.

      I’ve actually been at an old fashioned barn raising, complete with wooden pegs. I think I was 10 or 11 at the time and I had to stay away from the main structure, but I did ferry some of those pegs over to where they were needed.*grin*

      :} Cathryn

  15. The most difficult part for me is not letting myself get bogged down and overwhelmed by edifying and reciprocating. I feel guilty if I miss a post, or don’t tweet something, and I know you’ve posted about time management in the past, and how quality is more important than quantity. There’s just so many people out there! Triberr is great for organizing, but the more people I connect with there, the more overwhelmed I get. I had 40 posts in my stream this morning, and even though I promised I wouldn’t play catch-up, that’s exactly what I did. I’m afraid of letting people down, and I know that’s all in my head. I just have to find a better way to do the things you listed above, without driving myself up a wall. Because as you’ve also said many times–I gotta work on writing those great books!

      • Author Kristen Lamb on February 3, 2012 at 12:09 pm
      • Reply

      I know how you feel. I LOVE my WANAlums. I see some of the most amazing posts coming from the WANA711, WANA1011 and now WANA112 classes but there is only so much time in the day. I do what I can and relax knowing that you all are part of a team even if it is just #MyWANA to promote. We don’t have to do it all. We have help. So just remember that WANA is a community….not an Army of One Angela :D.

      1. That’s a good way to put it! It’s not all on my shoulders. I think I’ll make a sticky note of that and put it on my computer. Thanks Kristen. 🙂

  16. Michael Hyatt recommended your blog to the Twitterverse and he was soooo right to do so. Excellent, helpful post. 🙂

  17. I so love your blog posts. Thank you for taking the time to put them all together. This one was a great one. Not too long ago I had a well-known author comment on my blog because of a book review I did of one of his books. It was great. Just goes to show you never know who is reading your blog. I would like to add, Kristen, that negative comments about anyone should be avoided. I’ve seen other blogs that dissed another writer or a reviewer and it really turned me off and I quit visiting the site. It’s one thing to enter into a friendly debate, but rudeness should never be tolerated. If someone says something nasty about you, take the high road. Be the better person. Turn it into a positive. Smile, write about the experience and how it made you grow, and move on. I did this recently about a bad experience I had and I had a hundred hits that day with people offering their kind support. It was amazing.

  18. Great tips! Not just for writers, either – these concepts can apply to social media promotion for any industry. And I especially love your imagery: “waiting for the digital cabbages to come flying through the screen” made me laugh 🙂

  19. Angela, I hear you! The more friends I make, the more I want to follow through with the kinds of things Kristen suggests. But that quickly eats into your writing time. Then how to decide what you’ll do, for whom, when, how often – I guess that’s what I’ll have to try to figure out.

    And Christine, I hear you on your pet peeves. Yet sometimes I want to read people’s specific information (book sales, what they’ve done that might’ve helped sell those numbers, etc.) and there are half a dozen blogs that I like because they give you the information without sounding “me, me, look at how great I am.” I’m not sure what the difference is between the annoying people and the blogs with statistics that I find interesting, except I suspect it has to do with what Kristen says about shy or insecure people coming off as wallowing in their own coolness.

    Note to self – don’t be shy! Don’t be insecure! LOL! 🙂

    Thanks for another great post, Kristen! Now I’m late for my morning run because I could ignore my junk mail from Amazon and Go Daddy, but I just had to read your post first! LOL!

  20. One thing that frustrates me about having a blog on Blogger is that when I want to ‘like’ a WordPress blog, I can’t (or I haven’t figured out how) because I’m not registered for a WordPress blog. I will say, though, that being part of the WANA family has given me such enthusiastic support, it’s easy to turn that around and share it.

    1. How very odd, I was just looking for that same kind of information earlier today.

      Mine is the reverse. I’m using WordPress more now and I was trying to figure out how to follow a Blogger blog.
      But this might be what you need:

      A pity that there’s no single-button-click way to Like or follow them across hosts….

  21. Kristen, I blog only once a week. I also tweet links to my new posts once a week. Yet, because I am authentic and sincere when I visit other blogs and ask myself the question, “how will my own blog post serve the reader?”, I cannot believe how people respond to that. My policy is: Show people that YOU care about them and they will respond.

    My biggest social media pet peeve is to see auto-tweets sent 24 hours a day. “Bad JuJu!” Wanna guess who I will never buy books from? LOL! 🙂 (This is why I post my new links once a week.)

  22. SNORT-worthy imaginary post from your cell with auto correct, Kristen

    I struggle in two areas on likability.

    First: Managing/balance as expressed by Angela. “Will they notice I haven’t commented? I LIKE them! I want to PROMOTE them.”

    Yes, sometimes–correction–often at the expense of quality writing time.

    The second? What topics of substance can I bring to my blog? The writer’s life? NOPE! Not if the goal is reaching readers, right? No tech savvy in this noggin, so that’s out.

    Yes. I know the answer hides somewhere within my life experiences. BONUS! I have 26 more days of BTBB to test some theories/topics/SWAGS.

    1. I’m a reader! We love to read about the stories you put out into the world. I love it when an author shares about what inspired her to create a particular character, or scene, or character quirk. These insights are somethings the very things that make me decide to buy a book.

      You’re right that readers aren’t all that interested in the writer’s life. Well, unless they’re also writers or aspiring writers. But we are interested in your book’s life. We want to know everything you want to share about how it came to be, and little factoids you didn’t include in your book.

      I also love to read about the books writers love, and why. I’m always disappointed when I see that a writer has a Goodreads Author profile, but the only books on her shelves are her own, or a handful of books written by her friends. I know it can be touchy to write honest reviews of other books when you’re a writer, but as a potential reader, I really want to read them.

      1. Lori Oster, thanks for the suggestion. I’ve created an imaginary town filled with many characters for my series, and sometimes I get emails from readers who want to know what happens to so-and-so. I’ve been toying with the idea of putting out character sketches and even a map of the town. Nothing major like the Game of Thrones ancestry chart (Holy crap! Have you seen that?), just a little guide to quirky characters in my short romance novels. Thanks to your encouragement, I feel comfortable now in sharing this with readers.

  23. I love your voice, and you have been so encouraging to me to be myself! (I’m the one hiding in the curtain.) I have purchased both of your books and am working my way through them. Thank you for the terrific suggestions.

  24. Fantastic post. And I’m pleased to see that I’m doing many of these things already. There’s a few more I could–and will–do. Thanks so much for this, Kristen!

  25. Really wonderful tips and tricks Kristen.

  26. I am trying to be more interactive with my fellow bloggers. I read a lot of blogs but don’t always leave comments. I guess it’s a matter of if I can’t think of something meaningful to say, I prefer not to say anything. And what you said about not wanting to put your foot in your mouth rings true with me, as I tend to choose my words and responses carefully. I have started leaving at least brief comments of encouragement, like “Great blog!” or the like when I read something I especially enjoy, even when I can’t think of anything else to say. I know, as a writer, that we all need the occasional kudos and support that what we are doing is good, and appreciated. Thanks for your good ideas on increasing ones Likability Quotient. I try to do a lot of these things as much as I can.

  27. Best way to be likable? Be authentic. I’m learning to spot the phonies out there that are only interested in what I can do for them and I’m much, much better at booting them from my list. If I’m going to give up my time, then it’s going to be on people I genuinely like and respect. When they reciprocate for me, I feel like I’ve won an award. Every time. I know that sounds dumb, but when my blog gets retweeted, it means they liked it enough to spend a little time to help me, which makes me want to help others even more. I guess you could say we all win awards when we support each other.

  28. Loved the post. Still navigating twitter and still have problems with retweet. Reading your blogs moves closer to perfect blogging. Thank you.

  29. Ah, so much to remember. And I can barely walk and chew gum at the same time. But I’m trying to be a good neighbor. Thanks for the list.

  30. Sounds great! I’m reading a book about being likeable in social media, so this post was a nice complement. Very good advice!

  31. A great list to print out and stick above the computer! Thanks, brilliant!

  32. Very sound advice, which I promise to follow religiously (though I will probably have to copy this into Word so I can keep referring to it).

    What I will never forget, though, is your creative phone edit of the sample blog. I do believe that iPhone means that I, the phone, am in charge here.

  33. Stumbled upon your blog today and I’m so glad i did! I’m unpublished, but rewriting my first and only lonely submission(it’s like starting from scratch since I don’t know what exactly was wrong with it). Through encouragement from writer friends, I started a blog, FB page and Twitter. Talk about going blindly forth – I’m overwhelmed. Your post here is the best on doing these things the right way. You were just what I needed today. I’m now following your blog and on Twitter. Thank you.

      • Author Kristen Lamb on February 3, 2012 at 2:36 pm
      • Reply

      Awesome Carra. So happy to see you here. I blog about craft on Mondays so that might be helpful to you being a newbie and all. We never get too good to learn anyway. Hope to see you back :D.

      1. Kristin, Blogged yesterday about social media and linked to your post. Ever hopefull! I’ll check you out on Mondays for sure. Thanks, Carra

  34. Oh, Kristen, you knocked it out of the park with this one! Just today, I had someone (on blogspot) tell me my profile did not link to my blog but she sought me out anyway (I fixed it, I hope). It really meant a lot to me. Although I’m a bit of a recluse (and yes, neurotic and shy by bravado for the first 60 years of my life), I’m coming to believe that a person actually can change and through social media, virtually.

    Thanks, again.

  35. I love this post. The last couple of Life List Club posts I’ve done I’ve had the opportunity to thank readers who always leave in depth comments. It does mean the world to me, and I hope I do the same for others. I always wish I had more time to connect with all the bloggers I like. Of course, the more you read, the more people you meet, and it’s difficult to get to everybody. I do my best and try to start out with the peeps I haven’t read for awhile first, then circle back to my faves. And I am able to respond to all my comments so I will definitely continue to do so at my blog. I hope one day I can have as full a comments section as you. You really hit the ball out of the park with WANA and I was just thinking how impressed I was at the helpful nature of everybody in WANA 1011 or WWBC. We’re all there for each other to hype up, tweet, find a link, whatever anyone needs. It’s nice to know we’ve got a support network.

  36. Great advice. No I mean it. I read many blogs and don’t always leave a comment. I am going to change that. I love your blog read it often. Thank you so much!

  37. Awesome tips, Kristen. Off to tweet this… (How’s that for a triple kapow of following your advice?) 🙂

    • Jenny on February 3, 2012 at 3:11 pm
    • Reply

    Great post Kristen! I just found your blog via Writers In The Storm 🙂

  38. You cracked me up with the bit about commenting with your cell phone. I have sent SMSs like that when in hurry and using the automatic word feed.

    And ack, the like function. I had forgotten that it exists. But now I Liked this post. Loved it in fact! I’ll be Liking a lot of your older posts too as I am re-reading them. Thanks for the reminder. WordPress could display the Like function a bit more prominently, though. Or the themes could have huge red arrows pointing to it 😉

    Showing your love for all the awesome bloggers out there can be overwhelming. For our sanity’s sake, it might be better to commit to just few handfuls of really great and close blog buddies. But we’re allowed to adventure and spread the love if there’s time. There are already many great mash ups out there. Don’t be too ambitious about yours or perfectitis, got to catch them all fever or the guilt syndrome will eat you. Been there, done that.

  39. More great advice, Kristen! I’m with Angela though. I feel so guilty when I don’t have time to read or share some of my friends works. At one time, I tried playing catch up but that didn’t work very well. Now I have to just move on to the next and hope it’s enough. I don’t have a lot of time to join in conversations on twitter, but I do RT a lot and post things for others. I still feel like I’m not getting the full benefit when I can’t join in on the conversations and I don’t feel like I know others as well or that they know me. I’m really struggling with trying to find a balance with social media, writing and life in general.

  40. Reblogged this on DFW Indie Writers' Workshop.

    1. Never reblogged before. Wasn’t sure how, but it was easy! Thanks for mentioning it, Kristen!

    • Denise Wolf on February 3, 2012 at 3:20 pm
    • Reply

    Thanks for the post today. You always offer good information and I fail to say so. Thanks also for making it easy. As you said, we should respond and sometimes I try, but it isn’t always easy.
    Thanks for making it easy and sharing your experience with us.

  41. Hi,
    A great post, and a lot of fantastic tips that are very helpful. 🙂

  42. Kristen, you have an amazing knack for gathering up all the nebulous whys and wherefores that float around in the ethers and distilling them down into a pure, understandable essence. I find your blogs extremely thought-provoking and helpful in crystalizing all those random thoughts in my brain. I consider your blog to be the number one most helpful I’ve come across. Thanks for being so willing to “pay it forward,” and encouraging the rest of us to do that, too.

  43. I admit, I don’t do your #4 all the time, always comment on others’ blogs that have commented on mine. I need to work on that. I am sharing this blog with my FB group. Thanks, Kristen.

  44. Nooo… you used the irresistible Shrek picture! 🙂 Loved this post (as I do all your posts). So much good info. I know that even when someone hits “like” on one of my blog posts, it’s a huge ego boost for me. Genuinely promoting others is a great way to show people what you’re about.

  45. As always, Kristen, you have wonderful advice. I’m so jealous of your various WANA classes, although I am working my way through both of your books.

    I try to support my writer friends; I comment and retweet and link back. I’m glad to know that clicking “Like” counts–I often feel guilty that I don’t have the time or technology (gotta love autocorrect!) to comment.

    At the beginning of 2012, I switched my definition of myself from a librarian who writes, to a writer who moonlights as a librarian. What an incredible difference in how I see myself. Thanks for all the tips–I’ve lurked here for a while, but been too shy to comment.

    • Maria on February 3, 2012 at 5:36 pm
    • Reply

    This is my favorite thing about social media – creating connections. Interestingly, I think it is one of my biggest strengths. I am always promoting others because I like them, I want to see them succeed and because like your posts, I want all of my friends to read the fantastic advice you or others give. Thank you for this post.

  46. Great post as always, but you caught me this time. You see, that’s me: “You, in the back, lurking on my blog. We do like you, you just were so quiet you blended in with HTML…” I promise to try to come out from behind the curtain more often … and tell you how much you RoCk!! Thanks!

  47. Great post Kristen … as usual.
    I only have a baby blog and am still struggling to post regularly as I’m also neck deep in a major rewrite. But I realised the other day that if I write authentic posts then it will be better than writing numerous posts that aren’t really authentic. I think, as many people have said, it’s the authenticity that makes people respond and want to support you.
    My last post was on Threshold Guardians that Chris Vogler talks about in his book, The Writer’s Journey. I love Chris’ book but I didn’t even insert a link to his site because … well … me and wordpress weren’t getting on that day. Anyway, imagine my surprise when I woke up the next morning and the first comment was from Chris himself. I was so grateful and humbled by it. It reinforced for me how genuine feedback can really make someone’s day. It also makes the struggle to run a blog and continue writing worth the effort.

  48. I struggle with #2. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that sometimes because of my internet habits that week I only have time to skim all the blogs I like and therefore only have time to give my overall in a “nice” or a “hmm…” or a “not so much.”

    Would it be better to only read one blog in those busy times and give one substantial comment or to read a bunch and give comments on a bunch?

    ‘Cause I like bunches of blogs…

  49. #5. Totally clueless what you’re talking about there. Trackbacks? I kinda know what hyperlinks are, at least in a blog post or sig, but not sure about one blog to another?

    1. Trackback and hyperlink is the same thing. Just if you mention a blog, put in a hyperlink so we know ur spreading the love about us. Make sense now?

    2. Thanks, Diana, for asking the question that I keep forgetting to ask and thanks, Kristen, for clarifying.

  50. You are so right. Spending too much time on the blog and not enough on LQ is not efficient. But in all fairness, those of us in the wana112 started with greater or lesser abilities. Some are struggling just to post a blog and not freak out, while others have their words tripping lightly off their lips (some really amazing blogs) and can spend more time on social interactions. So good of you to remind us of this right now so we keep in mind what this class is all about, social media. Thanks Kristen.

  51. Thanks for another great post Kristen! I can attest that your methods work. I joined your MyWANA community after taking an online workshop with you the second week of January. When I came to the group 14 days ago I had about 150 followers. Today I hit and exceeded 500. The people of My WANA are the greatest, most supportive people around and it’s a pleasure to pay it forward with them and with you. Thanks! (and no, she didn’t pay me to type this) LOL! 😀

  52. Like anything else, though, it isn’t instant!

    I’m seriously think of unfollowing a couple of auto-Tweeters I followed in the early days. I am so sick of seeing the links to the SAME blog posts every day from the same people. 🙂

    I wrote a post to promote an author recently, but did I say the right things? I don’t know! http://teamoyeniyi.com/2012/01/31/tomorrow-never-comes/

  53. I do a lot of my blog reading and Twitter posting from my Kindle Fire now (thank you @kennethgbennett), and the auto correctly, um, autism correct, um, this thing that can spell but doesn’t know what I want to say drives me nutmeg at times.

  54. Great post. I think a lot of it comes down to common courtesy, which is (sadly) often lacking these days online. And hey, I like my curtain outfit 🙂

  55. I think that this is a great post and that you have helpful tips as well. I always try to reply to every comment that I can because I do love getting a discussion going in my blog, it’s fun!

  56. From the quiet writer blending in with the HTML — thanks. 10 Tips printed and hanging above my computer screen. 🙂

  57. Kristin,
    I’m a fledgling author, publisher and blogger, just learning the ropes. I think your list is tops for getting off to a good start. I know that it takes a lot of effort to undo a public boo boo and get folks to like you (again?). Thanks for taking the time to post these very useful tips.


  58. Equestrian’s derriere. Love it!

    Thanks for clarifying how reposting works. I never thought about doing that, and often–as a blogger still learning the ropes–I’m unsure about how to weave in blog references. I follow quite a few blogs, and like the idea of the Mashables or Mashups.


  59. Great post, Kristen! You give such helpful advice. I’m going to print it out, as Carrie did.

    I always feel good when spreading the word about you, because you always deliver.

    Thanks for the constant encouragement.

  60. Fantastic advice! Thank you for your consistent and informative blog. I am a fan!

  61. Thank you for the great advice. I always enjoy reading your posts. I have shared this post on my FaceBook and on Twitter. I do this periodically with blogs that I especially enjoy or that have exceptionally good content. I have never actually reblogged, but I do put hyperlinks in my own blog posts that lead to other web sites. I also embed other people’s YouTube videos where they are pertinent to my topic. I need to do more book reviews, too. I have learned a lot since I set up my WordPress.org site almost a year ago now.

  62. Best euphimism of the week – ‘equestrian derriere’ love it!

  63. Thanks, Kristen! I’m on my phone, so before it decides to have me say how grape your poinsettias are, I will simply say that I often feel the way Angela Wallace mentioned she feels about keeping up. I’m grateful for the advice you gave her because I burned myself out trying to keep up with everyone & everything, which has resulted in me ‘hiding’ completely. Kind of an “If I can’t give everything to everyone, then I shouldn’t give anything to anyone or the person I didn’t reply to will be upset” mentality. Not good. Your advice is fantastic & encouraging. I definitely appreciate it. 🙂

  64. My dear Kristen – I know you are human and make mistakes like the rest of us, because you constantly remind us that you do. I’m not sure where this happens but I’ll take your word for it. However, IMHO, you never are guilty of this in your blog posts and books. How you come up with the right thing to say to us in EXACTLY the right way, boggles my mind. Your advice is always clear, no beating around the bush, and your tips unbelievably helpful. Not to mention the ever-present humour! Thanks for validating the “like” button. As a WANAlum (love it!) I try to read as many blogs as possible and often hit “like” when I simply don’t have time to comment. I worried it might not mean enough but I want the blogger to know I was there and valued their post. Thank you … yet again …

    1. It is probably because I face all the same tests, trials and insecurities. There are so many WANAlums that have amazing blogs and I could spend all day reading and commenting, but I still have other things to do. I often struggle with feeling overwhelmed and so if I find ways to solve the dilemmas for me, then I just pass it on to you guys. I know I need to sell books, too, but I am unwilling to sacrifice relationships and what people think of me by non-stop marketing. I don’t believe it works, but even if it did sell more books, I would still avoid it because I wouldn’t be able to see you guys grow as writers and friends and as a wonderful team that loves, encourages and supports each other. I wish I could tell you I have this super duper talent, but really I am still trying to find ways to have clean laundry, matching socks, excellent writing AND friends, LOL. Thanks for the lovely comment. You are always such a fantastic cheerleader!

  65. Kristin,

    Thank you so much for your great advice. The idea of promotion always intimidated me. I have always said I’d never do well in sales. I can’t even ask people to support my kids’ fundraisers. 🙂 I just buy everything myself! However, your approach speaks to me. I genuinely like people and interacting with people. The fact that this might ultimately lead them to like me…and down the road perhaps my book, is simply icing on the cake.

    1. ” I wish I could tell you I have this super duper talent, but really I am still trying to find ways to have clean laundry, matching socks, excellent writing AND friends, LOL”

      Thank you for the post, which was full of useful advice, but your comment here gave me hope. It really is a juggling act! I can learn ways to juggle better, but it’s reassuring to know there isn’t a right way that I’m missing somehow. Thanks!

  66. Thanks for all the advice Kristen.

  67. Loved the writer hiding behind the drapes. 🙂

  68. What I don’t like on blogs: 1. writers who reuse their older material more often than not. Saying the same thing in a different way is still saying the same thing. 2. I also believe that no matter how many comments a blogger has, he/she needs to find a way to respond to everyone. if you can’t get to everyone in one blog, be darned sure to catch the ones you missed the next time they comment. No one likes to feel ‘passed over’. 3. Claiming to be an expert in a field where a writer does not have valid experience and the experience they claim to have is not documented is phony and I don’t take what they have to say seriously.
    What I do like are writers/bloggers who: 1. support others, 2. visit their fans/followers blogs now and then leaving comments or likes and tweets, 3. Have fresh, well-written and enjoyable content. And 4. who are down-to-earth and make themselves relateable, not with made-up scenarios, but with real-life examples of their own struggles.

    I can honestly say that I know dozens of bloggers who do it right, IMHO, and only a handful who only think they do it right. All of the writers I visit regularly, do a great job of supporting fellow bloggers/writers and are very likeable!

  69. Your blogs are always helpful Kristen. Keep em coming!

  70. Kristen, I have to confess something: I always read your posts but rarely comment. Ugh, am I shy despite being one of your WANAlums? Possibly. Okay, the “like” button is going to be my best buddy from now on. And yes, I’m typing it on my iPhone, cursing the auto-correct function 🙂

  71. Thanks for another helpful post. I laughed at your “I love your blood.” I am often typing on my small notebook keyboard and making lots of typos. My editor friend, Dani Greer, never fails to catch me on that. She tells me that if we want to appear professional we should not make those mistakes. I tell her I don’t want to spend a half hour typing a comment. Just doing this one I had to go back several times because my fingers hit the wrong key. But at least I did not write “I love your blood.” LOL

  72. Great post, Kristen. I need to work on posting comments on others’ blogs and try to avoid the writing-about-me syndrome on my blog. So, my Monday post will be about your post! 🙂

  73. It’s all so true! I distilled a few of those pointers from your first book and have been skilfully deploying them to maximum advantage… okay, some of that is a lie.
    But I’m trying to, ma!
    As an interesting aside, just like you talk about Bob Mayer et al, I’m sure many of your minions do the same for you – I’m constantly suggesting my fellow indie writers refer to your books, and several of them have been very grateful for the advice! Now I’m just waiting for your blog course to come back online (pun intended) after a glowing endorsement from a previous attendee.
    It goes in circles that keep on going! Hm, what’s that? A spiral! It spirals, but not down… more across-like…
    Ah, let’s call it viral. That’s new.

  74. I just love Marilag Lubag, too. She has supported my blog and RTed so many of my posts. She’s a real connector with a big heart. Glad you gave her a shout-out, Kristen. 🙂

  75. Good one Kristen. Helpful. I find I am so busy writing for Technorati, building up my Twitter pg and my FB pg (News/Media) that I have neglected my blog. Have to move my butt. Thanks for the encouragement.

  76. You make me laugh with every post. Love it.

    These are really helpful tips. I love interacting with other bloggers, and posting and responding comments seems to be the best way to foster those fledgling relationships.

    I didn’t know about re-blogging, either, so thank you for that tip. Very useful! I’ll start doing that.

  77. I hope I can find the time to incorporate all your suggestions. The trick for me is to balance writing with social media activities. Too easy to start reading a few blogs, then get swept away with links, likes, retweets, etc., and before I know it, three hours have gone by. 🙁


  78. This is really helpful. Thanks. (I may follow your advice and repost it tomorrow).

  79. I really enjoyed this post — you have a great voice. Like others, I feel as though I don’t have enough hours in the day to do all the things I’d like to. And I tend to feel that reading and commenting on blogs is just goofin’ around… when I could be doing something productive like clicking over and over again on my KDP tab to find out how many books I’ve sold in the last 47 minutes!

    So keep it up, Kristen. I’m going to use some of these excellent tips. I just have to get my own blog out of the infancy stage…


  80. Wow, Kristen, you have really hit on something here. I’ll be impressed if you manage to read down this far through all the comments you have generated. One thing you said struck a chord: I’ve let friends re-post some of my own blogs but felt uneasy about losing control of my work; I now realize that I can do them a favour but ask them to only post some – this might seem so obvious, but I didn’t want to seem rude, and I guess re-posting protocol is just evolving! So thank you, Mrs Manners…. Seriously, you are an inspiration and I’m glad to have e-found you.

  81. But I don’t ever remember reading anything because I thought the author was ‘nice.’

  82. OH. MY. GOD!! Touch screen + auto correct. That explains everything, including this comment I got on a post about my Dad’s death: “I am esteemed couch sitting to find such funny stuff. Will share and impulsively dilate in the future.” I have been collecting the most bizarre comments for a future post, but now you have solved my mystery. You have my eternal gratitude. Or maybe I am just stuffing happy to make your acquiescence on this matter!

  83. As always, a great blog, Kirsten. You led me to Book Country for which I am grateful.
    I wish I could find the blog I started, never mind get it up and running 🙁 I can be a real techno idiot.
    I have another, half-related problem. I cannot get my mug shot onto the space provided. I would go to a contact us section, but where is it? or am I being blind?

  84. I’m thankful I stumbled on your blog Kristen. Even if I don’t always comment, now it’s my go-to place. I always pull some kernel of inspiration, a tip, something to take with me to reach out in this solitary job. Mostly, I connect with your-shoot straight from the hip-honesty and I appreciate it. Last weekend, you brought tears to my eyes. Mainly, I related. I’m overwhelmed,heartbroken I’m not farther in this career I’ve chosen and want so badly–sick and tired of feeling behind and hoping to figure this all out, etc. (I’m still stuck in Twitter-follow/followers imbalance, but working on it so I can follow back). I finally changed my twitter handle-(included last name)-thanks to your advice. Duh-now it makes so much sense (bows to your wisdom). I’m still trying to figure out the tech side of all this social media, but try to support other authors when I can. I honestly like that part. But right now (here comes the confession) I’m in Wana112 and am behind! (Ducks for flying cabbage). I’m working to catch up, and oh yeah-there’s the work! I’ve gotta figure out some kind of balance. Can I be you? Just for a little while . . . Thanks for your support, candor and well, rounding us all up and trying to help. Mucho hugs.

    1. Marian, read your post/comment. Yes, writing is a solitary career, but we are living is such a wonderful time. There is so much information out there and many are willing to share what they know. In addition to the excellent advice of Kristen Lamb, there is Margie Lawson, http://www.margielawson.com, and Jody Hedlund, http://jodyhedlund.com. Those are just two in many. I tried to find you on twitter, but failed. I’m at @CarraCopelin, if you’d like to follow, I’ll follow you back.
      Are you on Facebook? Good luck in your writing. Hope to “see” you soon! Carra

      1. Carra–thanks for your post. I know, there are so many generous folks! Will check your mentions. Thanks for letting me know you couldn’t find me. I changed my Twitter handle to include last name–per Kristen’s nudge-but my full name is still too long. Ended up with: @MarianPStevens . Didn’t know about the imbalance thing and got sort of stuck. Goal is to balance and follow ALL back. FB-should be MarianPearsonStevens. I’ll look for you both places. Thank you for taking time to write!!

    2. LOL. Okay, here is the truth. You will NEVER catch up. Neither will I. Catching up is a myth. Just let go and focus on the hard stuff, the real game-changing activities and then give yourself permission to never ever catch up ever :D. And no worries about the blogging class. You have all of February and probably part of March because I had a week with a sick family so even I am behind. Relax. Breathe and do at least THREE meaningful tasks today. Thanks for taking the time to comment!

      1. Huge sigh of relief, Kristen. Perspective. Breathe. 3 things. Permission to never catch up. Really? (like this). 3 things . . . This sounds more doable. Working to keep that overwhelmed sensation at bay–this helps. Knowing you’re not the only one who is isn’t getting it all done–feels better somehow. We’re not alone, right? (cue Kristen’s book). LOL. Aspiring to matching up socks too. Thanks KL!!

  85. Hi Kristen! I always try to share, promote, tweet and RT! But that’s just my nature. If I find someone’s blog that catches my eye, I love to let others know. When I had my gift shop and people would come in looking for a certain gift basket, if I didn’t have it I always referred them to someone who did. And it was the same when I managed a rental car company. 9 times out of ten, those people you referred out to someone else, came back and bought or rented from you in the future.

  86. That’s great, sharing is caring. I have found, if you are a sharing caring person in real, then it automatically transfers to social media. You either have it or you don’t!

  87. Kristen- I’m soooo glad you made the comment about catching up being a myth. Being new to the whole twitter-blog thingy, I’ve been so focused on the mastering the technical that implementing the social has taken a backseat. Which is kinda dumb because being social is the point. Duh. But you’ve gotta walk before you can run. Between the fabulous lessons in WANA112 and your posts, my learning curve has flattened considerably. I just did my first blog post and got comments (yay!)…um, now what? See what Kristen has to say, of course. And this particular post hit the spot. Perfect as usual. Thanks!

  88. Hi Kristen, I’ve been checking out your blog lately and I’m using MyWana for a few weeks now. I think the advice you are offering is great and I appreciate the fact that I’m starting off in the right direction because of your help. Thanks so much for all you do! 😀

    P.S. I bought your books cause I figured that would be the next good craft book for me to read. Thanks again!

  89. I followed a hashtag crumb to your blog (#myWAMA on Twitter), and am I glad I did. I dutifully bought both books. I’ve been awkwardly promoting my books for a year now, but have joined the “share the love” crowd recently. I have to admit, I’m much more comfortable praising others and interacting than I am saying “Here I am! Look at me!” Re-posting is an awesome idea and if it’s not too cheeky, this outstanding article will be my first re-post on my site.

  90. Thanks for the great post, Kristen. I found it via @Porter_Anderson’s link on Twitter.

    I’ve read through the comments here and a major theme is the worry of “keeping up” or “spending too much time” on social networks. As an early adopter, technologist, educator and writer, I may have some knowledge that could help. Here are some tips for maintaining your online presence:

    1. Schedule time. 30 minutes to 1 hour a day is more than enough for social networks. Same for blogging.
    2. Concentrate on 3 outlets only. Facebook, Twitter, and Google Reader, for example. Other networks worthy of a look: Pinterest, Tumblr, Reddit, Flickr, as well as writer’s forums. Best practice: find where your readers and writers are and spend time there.
    3. Consider automating: Schedule tweets, use a link aggregator like paper.li, definitely learn to use RSS. Insider tip: use a voice reader to read blog posts out loud when you cook or do chores (web search “Voice reader.” There are some free versions to try out).
    4. Learn to use your smart phone: Standing in line at the grocery store or the DMV is 5 minutes of blog reading or blog posting time.

    Anyone else have any information-processing tips? Add them here. We’re all in this together!

    -Christine Cavalier

    • Jan on February 15, 2012 at 8:42 am
    • Reply

    Kristen, I love your blogs! I don’t always get to them in a timely manner, but I do eventually get to them, and they are just as good a week late as they were the day you wrote them! I learn from them. Just wanted you to know, I may be a shy lurker, but it’s because I’m insecure and so busy! lol May you have a happy day!

  91. Wow. Your blog is like discovering the mother lode of discerning instruction. It’s a bit like winning the lottery for a ticket you didn’t recall buying. Except this windfall will prove a heck of a lot more useful than the vacuum that also cuts hair and that 10 CD collection of the Bee Gees that I can’t remember purchasing.

    I’m so glad to have followed myriad “less than gainful” links only to find there was a point and a reward for perseverance. Happy Day!

  92. I’m writing my first book and blogging about it, and I’m finding what you say here to be absolutely true! Really glad you spelled it all out…it was so helpful and also fun to read!

  93. Great stuff! Very helpful! Thanks.

  94. This is excellent advice, and I’ve been saying pretty much the same thing since “marketers” invaded my favorite space (social networking).

    Here’s a blog I did trying to explain to marketers what they were doing wrong and why it won’t work — and how to fix that:

    Here’s an example of how social networking can work.

    On a blog I subscribe to, (on blogger) I found a post about how writers (even not beginners) cringe at the idea of “pitching” a new story to an Agent or Editor. The web is FULL of advice about “how to” pitch, especially in screenwriting. The screenwriting beginners’ angst has spilled over to freeze up those pitching novel projects.

    So on that blog I wrote a couple lines just saying the trick is all in your attitude. Take the stance that you are presenting the Agent or Editor with the solution to their problem, not asking them to solve yours.

    One of the readers of that blog, Madison Woods, asked me to do a guest post on her blog because she was heading for Worldcon in Chicago this year to try pitching to agents. This resonates since I’m going to Worldcon as well, but not to pitch anything at the markets, just to network with readers. I’ve got too much work as it is with the publishers I’ve got.

    So I tried to explain to Madison what I meant by my comment on the other blog and the result was a very long guest post which she broke into two parts. Whereupon I asked her to do a guest post for my blog-slot on aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com (Tuesdays). She hasn’t done that yet.

    Madison’s part 1 of my post went up opposite one of my Tuesday posts. She read my Tuesday post on aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com and became interested in my novels. I think we friended on Facebook as well. That Tuesday post also drew some praise from total strangers on Google+ and one comment on the blog itself who understood the point I was making to new writers was truly vital. Experienced writers recognized a mistake they had made that had cost them years in career development.

    Here are links to the set of posts making up a social networking conversation among people who write novels — all without talking about their own novels, illustrating the point taken here in this post on Likeability Quotient:

    http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/genre-tuesday-guest-post-from-jaqueline-lichtenberg-part-1/ Madison put a link in this post to the first blog where I dropped the simple comment that Madison Woods picked up on which generated this post of mine.

    http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/2012/02/16/mashup-of-art-and-business-part-2-a-guest-post-by-jaqueline-lichtenberg/ This part is more about how I learned all that stuff in Part 1 and in the 7 part aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com series of posts on What Exactly Is An Editor that I talk about in the first part.

    http://www.aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com/2012/02/amateur-goes-professional.html Is the post that went up the same day as Part 1 and which attracted Madison Woods’ attention. You can skip reading that whole long post and just note the brief comment at the end by Suze Reese.

    This kind of exchange on topics of interest may not boost my likeability – I don’t do it to be likeable, I do it because I like to do it though it eats up real writing time.

    BTW I found THIS blog post on google+ and was trapped by the TITLE. Titles are vital.

    Jacqueline Lichtenberg

  95. Many great suggestions for bloggers, so thanks for taking the time for all of us.

  96. I’ll tell you why I liked this post. The link was on a blog that was Freshly Pressed (where I always find something worth checking out) I don’t yet have many commenters on my blog and so I just had to know what E.P. Carlin on The Aberrant Pen learned from you. Wow! You said it all lady. My entire blog is about meaningful communication and yet I keep thinking after each post, I must have missed the mark (AGAIN). I spent 25 years on the phone with customers in various industries and I know how important tone is, and yet, maybe I don’t know as much as I thought. My husband just says my expectations are too high. (what does he know) anyway, thanks so much for this informative post. Very Nice Work!

  97. What you are saying about social media and engaging with people who upping your likability quotient is so true. Which is proven by my finding this posting after after reading http://theaberrantpen.wordpress.com/2012/02/17/no-comments-from-the-peanut-gallery/. I love the internets. When I first started blogging I was more of a spectator than anything, even though I was posting, my social networking was all passive. It was as though I was afraid of experiencing the Internet on a new level. Then I made a conscious effort to engage with new people I have found happiness is connecting, commenting, and creating very not so brilliant pieces.

  98. Lots of great info. As a relatively new blogger, I appreciate your guidance.

  99. Reblogged this on Let's Get Personal and commented:
    A thoughtful, insightful, and very much worth every minute of your time to read and implement, fellow writers!

  100. I felt like it’d be a sin if I didn’t comment on the post after reading it 🙂

    Very nice article Kristen. You need to write one on efficiency and timing on social networks, like best time to tweet, best tweet frequencies and facebook post impact stats, things of that nature. Those can help you get your ‘likability quotient’ up.


  101. Awesome entry… Totally agree with the L.Q scale. It should be made official with numbers and graphs so number crunchers can work out what it all means and how likable you are. Really enjoyable read…

  102. This is my first day on WordPress (Yes, I’m a WordPress infant, and I’m scared and lost and confused by all the settings.) and this blog post what pretty much exactly that I needed to see this morning after fighting with all the settings and trying to make my blog LOOK nice enough that it won’t scare people away. I think being told that being honest and just saying what I have to say and being myself is probably the best advice I’ve received. Also, I tend to be extremely passive with my online presence and I’ve never had many followers and couldn’t figure out why. So, thank you for the advice!

  103. Hi there! I came to visit after reading The Aberrant Pen’s recent post where he had lots of lovely links to other blogs, of which yours was one! (He really has learnt alot from you 🙂 )

    I enjoyed this post (and have ‘followed’ you) – lots of great stuff in there and quite a bit to try and put into practice.

    There’s a ‘but’ though. As a ‘newbie’ blogger (not a true ‘writer’) I found this part conflicted me…

    “When we get out on social media (or even launch a blog) we must make sure we have good content. That is a no-brainer. I don’t know about you guys, but find it hard to like people in person who ramble or talk to hear the sound of their own voice. On the web, I like substance just as much.”

    Hmmm… One of the reasons I blog first and foremost is for me – in fact I tried to get my thoughts on paper about just that in one of my posts ‘http://101usesforafork.wordpress.com/2012/02/20/life-the-universe-and-everything/’ – unfortunately its yet another example of a ‘ramble’ or could even be construed as a post by someone who ‘likes to hear their own voice’ but that’s just the point for me – at least in these early days when I’m trying to improve my ‘writing’. When I’m trying to just get more used to opening up to strangers, sharing some of my (probably incredibly boring, yawn-inducing) thoughts, feelings and experiences, but really do have a growing need to do it. I love it if someone else actually does find it interesting enough to click ‘Like’ or even better subscribe to me, and hopefully as I improve, and broaden my subject matter to more than just the apparently dreaded ‘writing-about-me’ genre, that will increase – especially if I implement some of the great suggestions in your post!

    Right now though, if I worried too much about my LQ, or making sure I have ‘good’ content, I wouldn’t blog at all (hooray I can hear some saying!) but I want to do this. I want to open up and share. I want to connect with other bloggers and give them feedback or comment because their post made me want to – for good or for bad. I want to ‘pay it forward’.

    Obviously this blog is increadibly focussed / directed at true writers – the type I dream of being in my biggest blogging fantasies 🙂 and as such the comment that literally leapt off the page at me could be a wee bit out of context.

    Thought it worth sharing my thoughts on what it made me think and feel though! 🙂

    (By the way – the other thing I’m trying to do after some great feedback from another blogger, is practice my ‘commenting’ – I’ve not quite got ‘short n sweet’ in the bag though on either comments OR posts LOL! I’m working on it 🙂 )

    Thanks again for the great post!


  104. Personally I will be taking alot from this post. Probably more so than most of the ones I read on WP. Especially about the re-blogging. Because I do a lot of reading on here, and I always seem to find things that I know my friends and subscribers would find equally as interesting. Great post.

    1. Thanks Richard! Mucho appreciated :D.

    • Ruth Uehle on February 24, 2012 at 12:37 pm
    • Reply

    Lovely blog. Thank you for sharing these words of wisdom.

  105. Great post! I’ve had some mini success with my blog, but my demographic appears to be college kids (like myself) and we are often too lazy to spread the word or even hit that “like” button. I will be working on your suggestions!

  106. Great tips. Thanks. M

  107. Wow, this is a really fantastic and informative post – with some good, humourous bits here and there too. 🙂 I think it’s really important to leave good, juicy feedback when you see something you like, both online and in real life. “Openly praise” is a short and powerful phrase, and the fact that it’s so short really emphasizes how easy it is to do so! I feel like there isn’t enough cooperation in the world nowadays – it’s all about competition.

    I have a friend renowned for what we like to call ‘positive gossip,’ because she’s always giving people these really sincere compliments, even ‘behind their backs,’ as it were. I think we should all do some of that.

    All in all, this really struck home with me. Thanks for getting the message out to so many!

  108. Great blog… and I found you via a link from Ed in the Peanut Gallery so I’ve already learnt lots about linking, commenting and re-blogging today. Thanks again!

  109. Thats me…the one behind the curtains…should I come out and say something? will I be welcome here? these people seem like serious writers, would they care about my musings? will anyone notice if I just slip away quietly? …or do I say ‘Hi’ and see what happens…..

    • Betsy Borchardt on February 27, 2012 at 9:41 pm
    • Reply

    I am a new writer and soon will be publishing my first book. I love your blogs! I read them religiously. Today you have convinced me that I, too am a valuable part of the team of writers who needs, yes even wants to be heard. I enjoy people and love to compliment them when they are deserving. I think withholding well felt compliments or comments can do a disservice to others psyches. I purchased your book We Are Not Alone and hope to join social media with a delightful splash.

  110. Kristen,

    Great advice for a new writer/new blogger like me. Thanks!


  111. This is a great post. I admittedly don’t comment after reading most peoples blog…I don’t know why! Even if I really enjoyed reading it, I tend to think “Right, what other amazing posts can I read?” instead of “Oh, I’ll comment and tell them how much I liked it!”

    I promote other people more than I promote myself and I love talking to people and finding out what their recent success’ and failures are. It is important to help other people and form solid groups of followers/friends/fans.

    From now on I am going to make the effort. It’ll put a smile on peoples faces. 🙂

  112. Nice post. Very informative. I already have a facebook like page, and I respond to others’ blogs. But the rest was informative. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  113. Nice post. I have a facebook like page and respond to others’ blogs, but the rest was informative. Thanks for sharing. XD

  114. Very useful tips for someone new to the blogging world! Already making an attempt to follow half of the tips 🙂

  115. It’s actually a cool and helpful piece of information. I am happy that you simply shared this useful info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.

  116. I constantly emailed this webpage post page to all my associates, for the reason that if like to read it
    then my friends will too.

    • Millan on February 23, 2014 at 2:26 am
    • Reply

    Hi…I am not an author or a blogger. I was just looking for some tips to increase my social quotient(I am a very introvert kind of a person). The top results had your blog and am really glad and thankful because its simply awesome. I somehow feel my questions have been answered. I have become a fan of yours already. and I am definitely going to buy your books(if they are available in my country)
    Thank you once again…

  1. […] year, I was thrilled to get the enrolment fees for two classes I had been hoping to take – Kristen Lamb‘s Blogging to Build Brand (aka WANA) and Bob Mayer‘s Write It Forward. (Thanks, Mom […]

  2. […] article on Zenhabits.net that works for everyone. For the finest in writing tips, drop in on Kristen Lamb, Jenny Hansen, Jane Friedman, for starters. As always, I highly recommend the blogs listed down the […]

  3. […] From Kristen Lamb: 10 Ways to Improve Your “Likability Quotient” […]

  4. […] Kristen Lamb* has a great post on 10 Ways to Improve Your “Likeability Quotient“. […]

  5. […] Blogger Kristen Lamb wrote a great post about improving your “likeability quotient” as a blogger. Her book, We Are Not Alone, is all about using social media the right way. […]

  6. […] Loved Kristen Lamb’s post on how to increase our likability quotient on social media. […]

  7. […] From Kristen Lamb: 10 Ways to Improve Your Likeability Quotient. […]

  8. […] I have mixed feelings about the combox, but until I read Kristin Lamb’s recent post about “improving your likability quotient”, and Bob Mayer’s thoughts on your internet presence, I must admit, I wasn’t an avid […]

  9. […] read some interesting articles recently on social media, blogging, and upping your likability quotient. Both authors explore the use of comments and interacting with readers to gain likability with the […]

  10. […] some more. Slow and steady also wins the race when it comes to building social media platforms. In 10 Ways to Improve Your “Likability” Quotient, Kristen Lamb shows us why the quality of our readers and connections trumps quantity big […]

  11. […] 4. Supportiveness. When I was a kid, I loved going door-to-door selling everything from candy and cookies to 1-child plays. But I was weird. And have grown up since then. Not only is pushiness counter-productive for writers, but ineffective. (Thank goodness!) Supporting others creates connectedness and community. Visit others’ blogs. Follow those you find intriguing. Post thoughtful comments when a post strikes you, and share links you enjoy. (Not convinced? Read social media guru Kristen Lamb’s post, 10 Ways to Increase Your Likability Quotient.) […]

  12. […] the ‘likability quotient’ Kristen Lamb wrote about a few weeks ago. Accomplishing L.Q. #6  is not an easy task when it takes me weeks – or months – to find my way from start to […]

  13. […] From Kristen Lamb: 10 Ways to Improve Your “Likability Quotient” […]

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