My Cats are TOTALLY Fired

Johnny in the DOG BED.

Johnny in the DOG BED.

I have two cats—Johnny and Roo-Bee. Johnny is a year and a half old and thinks he’s a dog. Roo-Bee is eleven and an avid hunter…of baby socks and hair bands. Both of them are totally fired.

The story is this. Contractors are building new houses in what was once a field right behind us, so the “now-homeless” field mice apparently started a rock band and it didn’t work out…so they decided they’d move in with us. Pippa (the dog) told them my cooking is awesome and The Spawn throws cereal like fairy dust, coating the house.


So yesterday, Hubby goes to move a blanket and a tiny field mouse comes running out. What do my cats do? They stand and WATCH. I squeal and shout instructions (because I don’t want rabies) and also, someone needs to be Management *rolls eyes*. Meanwhile Hubby chases this inch-long mouse around the living room with a plastic cup.

My two cats fuzzy freeloaders?

Wow. You should totally call pest control.

Wow. You should totally call pest control.

Hey, which cabinet has the snacks? Pippa showed me where you had the catnip and now I've got the munchies...

Hey, which cabinet has the snacks? Pippa showed me where you had the catnip and now I’ve got the munchies…

Roo-Bee claims she hunts…useful things. Her defense? “What the hell? Are you now Lady Gaga? How are you going to style your hair with a MOUSE? I keep your bangs out of your face and your kid’s feet WARM.”

Admittedly, she has a point.

Johnny? He claims he was helping me as Assistant Manager and Shawn is the one who needs to try harder. In Johnny’s words, “Shawn just doesn’t live up to his potential.”

I have to confess, this might be added to Shawn’s quarterly review.

All this aside, Roo-Bee apparently needs cat training:



Mouse image via Stephen Barnett Flikr Creative Commons.

Screen Shot 2013-04-24 at 3.50.47 PM


Hair Band image via Stephen Depolo Flikr Creative Commons.

The mouse got away, and now is probably living in our couch while Coco Puffs rain down between the cushions like Mouse Manna. Johnny and Roo-Bee claim they didn’t receive a proper training manual when abducted from the fields as kittens and thrust into a “world with no appropriate role models and we should be grateful they aren’t in a gang or pregnant.”

They also reminded us the Kitty Feeder was running low and the Cat Fountain needed to be topped off. Pippa wants to know if she can have a pet mouse.


Pippa claims she is "helping" with laundry, but I KNOW she is hiding her mouse friends.

Pippa claims she is “helping” with laundry, but I KNOW she is hiding her mouse friends.

Shouldn't you be doing the dishes? You ARE a woman, right? Clean my litter box.

Shouldn’t you be doing the dishes? You ARE a woman, right? Clean something…like my litter box.

Anyway, I hope we find the mouse and can scoop him outside, cuz he was super cute and this makes murdering him a little harder. My husband and I are total suckers. At the ranch we had glue traps because the mice were making a MESS of the house.

My husband spent half the summer shampooing field mice out of glue traps and setting them free.

We could get ANOTHER cat. Like a bad@$$ cat from the streets, used to having to KILL for his food…but, admittedly, my pets are a seriously bad influence,and then we’d just have another freeloader watching us as we scramble around the living room trying to catch a mouse.

What about you? Do you have freeloaders, too? Or maybe a dog who thinks he’s a cat or cat who thinks she’s a dog? Or do your pets get too crazy killing stuff and delivering it on your pillow? Dead mice in your shoes?

I LOVE hearing from you guys!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of April, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novelor your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less).

And also, winners have a limited time to claim the prize, because what’s happening is there are actually quite a few people who never claim the critique, so I never know if the spam folder ate it or to look for it and then people miss out. I will also give my corporate e-mail to insure we connect and I will only have a week to return the 20 page edit.

At the end of April I will pick a winner for the monthly prize. Good luck!


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  1. We have no freeloaders. I believe the politically correct term is ‘Career change’.

  2. I have a Puggle puppy named Pepperoni who suffers from species confusion. She’s a cat trapped in the body of a 20 pound dog. She spends most of her time laying on the top of a recliner, or running across the back of the couch. If the chairs at the kitchen table aren’t tucked under, she hangs out on the table and steals the napkins out of the holder, or food, if there is any. Thank God she’s cute!

  3. We live in the country, and as a housewarming present when we moved into this house, a friend gave us a kitten that had been born in their barn. Her name is Pearl Jam, and she’s the best mouser EVER. We love her. She sleeps in our attic, getting inside it from a hole in our eaves, and we used to hear her hunting up there at night. She’s eradicated the issues up there, and now she goes out into the field behind our house, bringing home mice, moles, and other critters to take up into the attic and eat. We don’t go up there. Ever.

    • Lanette Kauten on April 25, 2013 at 8:12 am
    • Reply

    I’m scared of mice, but the ones in the picture are totally cute… at a distance.

  4. Kristen, I can relate. Before moving out of the previous abode, Skye kitty actually did have herself a pet mouse. Steve Junior #35 (all mice were named Steve) sauntered down the hardwood floor and snuggled into Skye’s ruff. Skye gave us the “well, this is new” look and stayed exactly where she was. #35 came back a few more times, but after we found the remains of another mouse, #35 stopped his visits. Apparently somebody finally looked up “cat” in the dictionary.

  5. C’mon, you knew I’d have to comment on this, right? Our garden is so overgrown, the field mice (and RATS, OMG RATS!) play Patio Ping Pong, and swing from the hummer feeders like it’s a tiny mouse-esque playground. 16-year-old Seren watches from the window — Kitty TV — and if a mouse gets inside she yawns and wants to change the channel. The 85-pound dog isn’t interested unless the mouse rolls in liver pate first. So yes, I feel your pain. Only saving grace…rodents don’t carry rabies. They do carry other nasties, though.

    These days the dog prefers to stalk dirty socks (yum, NOT!) while the cat removes–and rearranges–all my carefully placed Post-It reminders.

  6. BTW…cleaned out the bird feeders from the overgrown garden, suspended high above the ground from those shepherd hook thingies? No seeds anymore. Instead, stuffed to the BRIM with (wait for it…) shed dog and cat fur, and one actually had two field mousies staring back at me from their cozy swinging nest. Yep, left ’em alone until they went out for a snack and only then cleaned out the feeder. Makes you wonder what the birds though…

  7. Currently, my cats are being freeloaders, but I used to have cats who were awesome hunters. I will never forget waking up really early one morning, so early that it was still dark out. I could hear one of our cats meowing outside, so, not wanting to wake anyone else in the house, I kept the lights off and worked my way carefully down the stairs and to the front door. I opened the front door and felt my cat rub against my leg. I turned to go back upstairs to bed and stepped in something gooey. I freaked a little and flipped the light switch on. When I realized I was standing in mouse guts from the bits of mouse my cat had left beside me as a “gift,” I freaked a lot. And then washed my foot in scalding water and half a bottle of soap for the next half an hour.

  8. This is so my house! What, you came over while we were asleep and caught my cats in the act of catching mice/sleeping, right? Anyway, I resemble this post and empathize completely! Have a great time managing the mouse invasion. I use glue traps – just sayin’.

  9. This is so my cats. At one point we had FOUR cats and a mouse problem. Their idea of hunting was “I’ll wait here for ten seconds, and if it doesn’t throw itself into my mouth, eh, oh well.”

  10. Be glad they aren’t rats! Those are NOT cute.

    Do you want to borrow my dog? He can route out rats and mice super fast. He’s our rat alarm. I love him. We also have some feral cats in our neighborhood, so we haven’t seen many rodents in a while. (Yay!)

  11. Love your story. I also had a problem with field mice until my lodger, a little dog came to stay. 🙂

  12. LOL- I have a better humane trap for you, and you’re going to have to take the trapped mice in a peanut butter jar 5 miles from your house or they’ll come back. Wear thick gardening gloves to shovel up the mice (in the jar), and wash the gloves. Forget rabies, you’re more likely to catch Hanta Virus.

    Get a big plastic trash can, that has no holes in it. Sit it beside your kitchen counter before bed.

    Get a paper towel roller. Put a 1″ piece of candy bar in the end (I use O Henry or Snickers). Mice love chocolate and peanut butter.

    Balance the paper towel roller on the counter and over the can. Make sure the candy bar is in the end dangling over the can.

    Turn out the lights and go to bed. You can eat the rest of the candy bar. 🙂

    You’re gonna hear the roller go ‘plop’. Go peek in the can. There’s gonna be a mouse in the bottom saying “WTF?!?”.

    Scoop him out of the trash can using your peanut butter jar. Drive him FAR from your house and let him free.

    This will tick off your pets (who are not working animals, thank you) but save your hubbs from chasing mice with a cup. He ain’t gonna catch them that way, they’re blasted smart.

    Happy hunting!

      • ShawnM on April 25, 2013 at 10:24 am
      • Reply

      Actually i have caught plenty of mice with my hands. I can’t wear gloves, they don’t give me enough tactile feel for pressure when holding them. Im not worried about disease, im all vaccinated. I do like your idea, except they aren’t on our counters and dont yet seem to have a way to get up there, at least yet. Peanut butter… well… I put peanut butter in the trap that we were given. literally, the PB was eaten by morning time with trap intact.. they are smart lil buggers!

  13. We recently had a mouse problem — at the same time hubby decided to tackle refinishing wood floors in my kitchen. In addition to the annoyances of dust and mice, half the items in my kitchen were displaced. I was NOT a happy camper.

    Fortunately, I have Mr. Killer Cat at my house, who can conveniently open cabinet doors. So, the mouse episode gave him something to do during the night while he waited for the household occupants to wake up (he’s Mr. Social as well). Unfortunately, he hasn’t learned to open the cabinet drawers, so he found it rather frustrating when the mice traveled across the row of drawers and he couldn’t get to them. He did manage to catch several during the mouse episode, so he received the Good Kitty of the Year award.

    Our most effective trapping method: A bag of Ghirardelli mocha cappuccino baking chips (opening in the bag provided by fellow mouseketeers) and a glue trap placed in front of the opening.

  14. By the way, a mouse can’t jump higher than 2 feet. That’s why they can’t get out of a trash can.

  15. Buster just stares at lizards–usually the tail as it’s disappearing because Mr. Bright hasn’t been paying attention until then. The only time he picked something up was a small rodent, writhing because it had been poisoned. I screamed and he dropped it. Maybe it’s better that he leaves them all alone.

  16. My cats were born in the wild and we have had them since they were four days old. They think prey is something you do for Tuna

  17. My two freeloaders come in the form of our two rescue mutts who’ve forgotten how good they have it. I woke up this morning clinging to the edge of the bed while these two were stretched out full length, comfy as can be.

    • Amy Dionne on April 25, 2013 at 8:47 am
    • Reply

    I just have to comment – my cats are the same way! They’ve had mice run right in front of them and just looked up at me and said it would be way too much effort to go after it. Besides, why would they want to work when I feed them? I’ve had to catch the mice! Which, ironically, is entertainment for the cats I think.

    Your cats are adorable – love the pic of the cat on the dishwasher. I have one that loves to hide under the dishwasher if the door is open.

    Love your blog and posts! Cheers, Amy

  18. You must know my cat, Kristen. He thinks he runs things around here and we’re his slaves. I can see him yawn if a mouse ran across the floor, then look at me with a ‘what are you going to do about that’ expression on his little cat face. Next life, I’m coming back as a house cat that sleeps most of the day and insists my demands be met the times I’m awake…LOL

    • Thomas Linehan on April 25, 2013 at 8:51 am
    • Reply

    Before my cat, Paws, went to cat-nip heaven last summer ,he was pretty good. I live in a fairly new log home in the woods and felt that pest haven’t figured out how to get into the house, yet. But I think that they were in the garage watching my 95 year old mother in-law slowly make her way into the breezeway and that the mice just decided to go for a leisurely walk, and stepped around her, as she made her way up the two steps. One evening while I was up late reading I heard this commotion upstairs and wondered what my damn cat was into now. Ignoring it, he danced down the stairs with a mouse hanging from his lip. He gave me a look like, “hey look what I just found, can I keep it?” Of course I said yes and helped them both out to the porch.
    Well my mother in-law is working on number 96, and I’m sure that the rest of the mice family are watching speedy make her way into the house. Gotta think about another cat.

  19. ROFL, Kristen! Since we have two gerbils in a cage, it would be the height of irony to have to dispose of mice…fortunately, there’s a colony of feral cats (the bada$$ kind) in the woods behind our house who make sure there’s no mouse left behind, IYKWIM. Mice don’t make it to our house alive. *knocking wood*

    Even as teen and preteen, our boys do a fab job of supplying “manna”…for the ants. I have a perpetual battle with crumbs and bits of food around here. I’m better acquainted with the broom than my hubby. 😉

    Thanks for the giggle,

  20. I once had a cat that killed and offered up his first bird at 10 weeks. When he left a large dead lizard in my bed a couple of years later, he lost his unbridled entrance and egress. Perhaps a few more cats are in order. 🙂

  21. My 80 pound British Lab, that was born with the internal instinct to hunt, will run and hide behind me just like a little kid with his head peaking around my leg when he is scared. Pets have such character!

  22. We had rats that I’d never seen (and hopefully never will) in our attic. I sure heard them though. I miss having a cat, but hubby is allergic. Right now, our pets are our boys. I’m not sure I can spare enough energy for caring for a real pet yet. lol But I have a feeling that we’re going to have to get something soon. I’m thinking of something small, like a hamster then later maybe graduate to a housebroken dog from the local shelter… lol

  23. In AZ, it’s not wise to let cats out of the house because they end up as coyote snacks, so my Matilda has to be content with hunting ping-pong balls (which she does, at 2am). However, we do have a doggie door for the Airedale, and on occasion Matilda has snuck out, caught a kangeroo mouse and brought it back into the house to play with. Lovely. BTW, Kristen, maybe you should think about getting a Have-a-Heart trap; you can trap the mouse without the icky glue things and re-release it outside. We use them for pack rats that decide the ornamental cactus on our patio are actually part of a pack rat salad bar. I love living close to nature, but there are limits!

      • ShawnM on April 25, 2013 at 10:27 am
      • Reply

      And I have seen very large coyote male within 300 feet of our house just a few weeks ago. I don’t usually see too many outside cats around here, probably why! I like the idea of an actual trap. Will have to look into that one. Thanks!

      1. Shawn, we have a small dry wash just behind our property, which you probably know is a coyote, bobcat and javalina freeway. After losing 3 cats here in AZ, we finally had to admit that, much as the cats LOVE to go outside, it is not healthy for them. The Have-a-heart traps are great. People told us we had to boil them to get all human scent off and handle them with gloves or the pack rats would not come near them, but we found that we just put a couple small pieces of apple inside and–bingo!

    • Michelle Roberts (@michroberts90) on April 25, 2013 at 9:14 am
    • Reply

    My family has one kitty freeloader, one shorkiepoo who wants to be a people, and one 1500 lb paint horse who thinks he’s a dog (or maybe a goat). The other two dogs are normal dogs, but it’s pretty funny sometimes watching the others.

    • wendybird56 on April 25, 2013 at 9:19 am
    • Reply

    Our golden retriever, Bogart, apparently thinks that any food left out on the counter or table is there for him. If it’s been placed “out of reach”, it has simply been put there as an extra challenge for him. His past spoils? Bananas (LOTS of bananas), avocados, hamburger buns (that we didn’t discover he’d eaten until the hamburgers came in from the grill), a bag of marshmallows, a bag of uncooked rice, uncooked popcorn kernels, a bag of chips, a bag of peanuts M&Ms, a bag of pita chips, half of my hubby’s sandwich, crackers straight out of my toddler’s hands (and, no, she wasn’t trying to feed him), and my Taco Bell Chalupa (I’m still a little bitter about that one). There’s really no wonder why this dog is so fat. Good thing he’s cute.

  24. We live in a rural setting, and I have a 17-year-old feline menace that puts up with nothing, She may be half-blind with cataracts, but she can nab rodents by hearing alone. We heat our home with wood, and recent cold evening my husband opened the side door of the kitchen to grab a handful of firewood and a speedy little mouse raced in. Our cat was on the other side of the next room, and still caught the movement by either limited sight or perfect hearing, and had the mouse nailed against the breakfast bar before we even realized what ran in. She’s always gone after anything that moves, but I really think it was a case of “this is mine, Mine, MINE, and you can’t be here” more than anything else. I have no doubt that if a grizzly showed up at our door she’d have him high-tailing it for the woods in seconds–she may less than 10 pounds, but she intimidates every dog in the neighborhood.
    That said, we have two fairly-feral cats I’ve started feeding outside because if I don’t they come up looking like war refugees from trying to steal food from all the surrounding cats and dogs–but they won’t even try to catch anything. Birds swoop down to the front porch and eat the food the outside cats haven’t yet finished, while the cats lay three feet away and just watch (both male, by the way, but I don’t know that that matters). While my senior cat will have conniptions if she’s outside and a squirrel is nearby, the two males will nudge each other and comment on how the squirrel needs to learn the joys of the 18-hour nap. I don’t understand it at all, since the cat that the rodent-terminator has never had to worry about food, but the two that aren’t definitely have. Either you have a mouser or you don’t, and unfortunately, Kristen, you don’t. Sorry.

  25. Kristen, Another good bit from you! We used to have mice; out in the yard and in the attic. But having so many cats put the end to them. A time or two a mouse would find his way down into the house and would get instantly caught by one of my cats. Then I’d take it away from them and throw back out in the yard. But haven’t heard or seen any in several years. Guess they spread the word that cats live here, inside and out.

  26. I have three cats, so you can imagine my surprise when I found a mouse in my shower one morning! 🙂 My cats only catch mice when they’re in the mood! 🙂 LOL!

  27. As we live on an acreage all sorts of creatures are around us and some ‘visit’. We do get mice in the winter and set up humane traps – my husband then takes them to work! No we can’t kill them either. We did have an old cat given to us a few years ago who was a great mouse catcher, but she passed away :(. Last year we could hear scurrying so put up the traps again. Then a rancid smell began filtering through the air ducts. Obviously we thought it was a decomposing mouse but although we looked we were unable to find it. Strangely the smell wasn’t always in the same place, very odd. Then one morning a scream was heard from downstairs – There’s something down here. Yep it was something all right – a weasel. We have never come across something that smelly or that vicious. It took quite sometime to get the little devil into an old fish tank and put a lid on it, which by the way we had to weigh down as the weasel was jumping up and gnawing the glass. We released it far from home. No more mice for months and no more smell – thank goodness.

    • Denise McInerney on April 25, 2013 at 9:44 am
    • Reply

    Ah, the Big Mouse Invasion of last winter! My late Mom’s cat took up watch at the base of the stove and kitchen sink, tail twitching furiously. Investigation around sink pipes revealed Stinky Yukky Mess, ew!!! Our two border collies proclaimed herding mice beneath their dignity (YAWN.) Humans tried humane trap option, but soon realized mice were turning right around and bringing back reinforcements, so switched to lethal traps. Took a month, but total score at the end was Humans-33, Cat-6. Came in one day to find mouse flying through air over kitchen island, flung by deliriously happy kitty, who was furious when I stole prize from her and wouldn’t speak to me for days. But no mice since, yay! Wish cat would get excited about pantry moths, another sordid tale…

  28. Meow! I’m calling the kitty union on you!

  29. I scream “squirrel” the chihuahuas barked excitedly, they run outside and stop at the edge of the deck and stare at the squirrel who stares back. Then they run back inside and expect a snack. Of course I give it to them. Then I go outside and shoo the stupid squirrel.

  30. You need a mouser. That means a non-house cat. suggest you pick up an older cat that hasn’t spent its entire life in a house. We have a garage cat and we have no mice. Unfortunately the cat likes birds too, though 4 bells on her collar has limited her effectiveness.

    You also might want to look for avenues of entrance for the mice and block them.

    Best of luck. We’re still trying to get rid of moles, and while the dogs will dig them up if they venture inside the wireless fence, the moles have gotten smart and only burrow outside the range. So, that l;eaves the cat, but sh’e more interested in birds. Doesn’t get her paws dirty that way -:)

  31. Wow. I never knew that having pets can be so much fun.

  32. A beetle once chased my Shih Tzu (appropriately named Princess) in circles around the kitchen. Princess finally dove under the kitchen table and poked her head out with a look of loving, cheerful support upon her face. “You can do it, Momma. Go get it!”

    The beetle got away.

    Thanks Princess.

    1. Hahaha! Erica, you reminded me of the time we did have a dog (pre-kids). She was a large german shepherd mix and was once chased in circles by a pug puppy. Hillarious! They can be just as bad as us… I’d run from a beetle too. lol

  33. I recognize that Dickies BBQ cup in the dishwasher. I love that place!

    • ShawnM on April 25, 2013 at 10:28 am
    • Reply

    What was funny was watching Kristen dance and scream at the same

    • Christine Campbell on April 25, 2013 at 10:30 am
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    Yes, used to live in an old tenement property with lots of mice! Our cat used to watch them run around the room without batting an eyelid, never mind a mouse!

  34. We had a *massive* mouse problem for years. It was a colony, many generations old, I’m sure. I would find droppings in the cabinets where I kept clean cookware, in utensil drawers, in the drawer of the range… it was DISGUSTING. I got ingenuitive… bought those lidded cake pans to keep utensils in, but I still had to wash everything in the pot cabinet when they came around. My husband and mother-in-law (who lived with us at the time) had little inclination to do anything about it. They’d lived with them for years and I guess it didn’t bother them (?!?!?!). When I had my daughter, I hired an exterminator. By the time she was crawling, we no longer had mouse droppings everywhere. We refused to use glue traps because my husband couldn’t figure out how to get them loose and ended up having to put the critter out of its misery, so we went with bait boxes instead. I don’t *like* that we’re killing them, but seriously, it was a health hazard. And like yours, our cats didn’t care. One was a mouser and maybe used to chase them once upon a time, but quit caring. She used to catch baby bunnies and bring them inside, and when that upset me (I’ve always loved bunnies and finally had two for pets for about a decade), she started bringing them in alive. >.< Our other cat, whom we were convinced was pretty senile, did actually catch a mouse inside one time… and did a LIVE RELEASE in the backyard. LOL

  35. I blame my cat’s lack of outside upbringing for his failure as a mouser. My husband who never owned a cat in his life, by the way, seemed to think that a baby cat should not be exposed to the dangers of the wild in our back yard. I got tired of arguing this point with him from the point of view of an experienced cat owner. Now we pay the price. We have a cat who thinks he’s a dog and has no clue as to what purpose he was put on this earth. He will also beg at the back door to come in and use his litter box. Another thing he didn’t figure out due to never being let outside.

  36. Bwahahahahahaha.

    One of my cats is a freeloader and the other thinks it’s her duty to keep us fed…with giant cockroaches, butterflies, moths and mice. There’s nothing quite like finding a dismantled mouse at your feet.

    And, whenever she brings in a still living creature, the other cat and two dogs join in the merry chase…much to detriment of our decor.

  37. I found a link to your site on Kate Larkindale’s blog and was intrigued by the post title. I giggled and laughed til I choked – it was hysterical! Up you go on my blog roll, and I’m telling all my cat-friends to come and read this. 🙂

  38. Our cats, who look a lot like yours, are immune to hunting mice. We had a tiny one last fall and our cats apparently thought he was the cabaret show. What happened to that feline killer instinct? Oh, yeah, it’s saved for things like shoe laces and my fluffy robe.

  39. Wumpus Boris McCoy has to go in and out of the house 15 times. He will sit by his food bowl when he wants out, and then he will sit by the door when he wants food. If you don’t get the idea, he sneezes to let you know he’s upset. He behaves inappropriately with fuzzy blankets over my feet (even though he’s six and neutered), and he grazes out on the lawn. In the six months we’ve had him, he’s caught two mice and two chipmonks and drags them half alive to the porch where he visits with them for a while and then lets them go on their merry way (or, in one case, it’s dead way). He believes he earns his keep by being soft and fluffy.

  40. Hilarious!! We had a mouse that moved in from the field and the cats adopted it. I named it Mickey. We were never able to catch the little rodent but one day I had a bag of friendship bread mix fermenting on the counter. Mickey got in to it and was never seen again.

    After that Funny Face decided to go out and bring them home. I awoke one night with a mouse in my bed. I had the cat by the scruff saying “Pick. It. Up.” repeatedly until she understood and she and the mouse left via the front door. Funny Face was allowed to return when she had said good bye to her little friend.

  41. last year i was living in a place that had been infested with mice when i moved in. my dogs were useless, too big to get at all the tiny places the mice would hide in. I went nto the kitchen one night and found one scampering around on the kitchen counter. After cleaning my entire kitchen from top to bottom i went to war on the little suckers and eradicated them.
    later on in the year i moved back to my own house after a year away and got my cat back (complicated, she had been living with someone else for a few years). she is a pretty great mouser and i frequently find the left-over skulls or guts of mice she has killed and mostly eaten on my kitchen floor (which is delightful and usually inspires another cleaning frenzy). my dogs are still useless, but show them a loose rabbit and i would not see them for dust! they are whippets.

  42. Good one, Kristen. I live with a serial killer. My Russian Blue Ruusky previously patrolled a farm and cannot be contained indoors. He sometimes leaves me a mouse head on my second floor deck. Gift? Warning? With the language barrier, I can never be sure. He has also been known to kidnap mice and rats for his continuing entertainment, and the rodents then frequently end up living under my dishwasher. I really prefer to find just the heads.

  43. OMG, I am laughing so hard my cheeks hurt. We have no cats, just an ancient Cairn terrier who is supposed to be a might huntress but thinks spa days hold more allure. This may explain why every few months our house becomes a mausoleum for what we hope are mice. We don’t know for sure. All we know is we get a whiff of “that smell” and we know it’s another Jimmy Hoffa walled in somewhere. We have had “live” visitors — a prehistoric looking pre-salamander kind of thing – and one of those “cute field mice” who emerged from the hose of my vacuum cleaner one day as I was hooking it up (which may give you an idea of how often that machine gets used). Chloe barked helpfully to let me know it was there and then she left me to it. As I write this, we are sleeping in lavender soaked sheets so we can’t smell the remains of something that died behind our bed. Chloe sleeps undisturbed.

    • Laurie P on April 25, 2013 at 12:06 pm
    • Reply

    I have a 15 pound cat named Miss Kitty, who starts licking your hair when she feels it’s time for you to get up in the morning and feed her. And a 5 pound dog named Peanut, and according to my son, he’s eaten burritos bigger than her. And who, when she get excited sounds just like a cat hacking up a hair ball.

  44. I have three cats and none of them are freeloaders… They’re the type to deliver their finds on silver platters so that I see them on my pillow when I first wake up in the morning. The creepy thing is they stare at you, waiting for you to wake up and see your prize. At some point, they will understand that I don’t like fresh mouse for breakfast…

    1. You should be honored. That’s the highest compliment you can get from a cat. That means that they love you enough to feed you.

  45. OMG, Kristen! You had me laughing so hard this morning. I have 2 cats: Mimi, aged 7 and Skippy, 10 months. We recently had a mouse in our house as well. The cats were chasing it around the house and howling in the middle of the night. I was freaking out but not yelling instructions as my children and husband were sleeping. I woke my husband who caught it up in a pan and took it outside at my request. He rolled his eyes and swore under his breath because he grew up on a farm and mice are “vermin!” But I couldn’t kill the cute little thing. It didn’t choose to be chased mercilessly around our living room for almost an hour. I truly don’t think my cats would have harmed the poor mouse and yes, my 3-year old also thinks that “raining dried fruit” is the most awesome event ever! My vacuuming is endless in an effort to clean up the nuts, dried fruit, and gluten-free chocolate crispies that rain down on the floor, furniture and her head. Thanks for the laughter.

  46. My cat Mab is like that. I think she would be an awesome mouser, except we have no mice in the house (thank god) and she’s afraid of going outside. The world has no ceiling and it scares her.

  47. Any cat owner can identify with your tale today. I have 3 cats and watching them in action is like watching a road crew at work. Two sit there “supervising” while one does all the work. Thanks for the laughs.

  48. Watch out. When they do get in the mood to catch one, you will get out of bed and step on just the head of what used to be a cute little mouse. For some reason, cats don’t eat the head. Spoken from years of experience. 😉

  49. I normally just lurk around here, but this had me spewing my coffee so I have to respond.

    My hubby is allergic to cats. We’ve always had dogs… lots of dogs. I raised and exhibited a multitude of Shelties, one of whom was a ‘mouse announcer’. We’ve rarely had a mouse-in-the-house problem, but on a couple occasions she planted herself, nose to the edge of a bookcase and refused to move until we investigated, and discovered/chased with a broom/removed a tiny intruder.

    So when she refused to take the blame for a partially eaten granola bar in the truck during a holiday trip, and spent all day with her nose shoved under the edge of the back seat, we finally clued in. We found not one mouse, but a nest of babies! Big dilemma. Who can kill babies?

    They can’t charge us with child abandonment for depositing them in the bush beside the highway, can they?

  50. I volunteer at a very large no-kill animal shelter. We have over 600 cats, 50 dogs–and somehow we still have mice. Once in a while a cat catches a mouse on my shft and we try to get it away from the cat and put it outside because we are a no-kill shelter. But we never take mice away from Avery because we want to keep our hands intact. And Dennis is right … when he is finished with his mice, Avery leaves us the heads.

  51. Had mice, had two cats. Calpurnia and Maggie the Cat From Hell. Calpurnia didn’t hunt, she observed. Maggie, on the other hand, was super feral. This was displayed by her dislike for my sister. Maggie hunted and the daily tribute of a mouse head became the stuff of legends in the apartment building. I killed a half hour watching her hunt down a mousy visitor. She played with it to the point that I decided that mouse friend should go outside. Maggie disagreed and it took near half bottle of peroxide and antibiotic cream to treat my hand. The downside Maggie was diagnosed with cancer probably due to her al fresco diet. The best bet is to find a way to keep mousies out and save the cats. A lazy cat is a great life example of what to do on a warm sunny day.

  52. We had a mouse last year and I was so grossed out! We did put traps out and eventually got him out. Needless to say, I clean the floors much more. Yuck!

  53. I had two cats who were so big and brave they used to catch worms and bring them inside as trophies… Now we have no cats and the mice from the field next door like to move into my oven when it gets cold.

    • SweetSong on April 25, 2013 at 2:10 pm
    • Reply

    Hilarious! I used to have a cat who was a mighty hunter, but alas, that was many years ago. Now I have a cat who won’t even eat bugs. She’ll stare at them, and occasionally even follow them, but kill and/or eat them? Ew! Fortunately I’ve never had mouse issues.

  54. I’ll totally let you borrow my cat for a few days. He kills everything! In the garage, we find dead mice, moles, birds, chipmunks, butterflies, snakes; if it moves, he kills it. Then leaves it on the steps, as if to say, “Look, Mommy! Look what I did! Aren’t you proud of me??”

    • Debbie on April 25, 2013 at 2:39 pm
    • Reply

    mY last cat thought a panty-liner or if she could wrestle it from the applicator, a tampon made a fun toy. Thankfully I never had a guest find one of her ‘mice’.

  55. Rayas, our torby, is a bad a$$ when it comes to defending the homestead against intruders, provided they’re not taller than she is and out of her weight class. Coco, the black longhair, proved herself such good night security that we’d take off her collar with the bell on it before we went to bed. That meant waking up to dead rodents on the kitchen floor, but c’est la vie. Then there’s Hunter, so named because if he doesn’t make his live quota, he’ll pick up the catnip mouse and carry it around the house yowling to announce his victory.

    Love your blog. Thanks for the smile!

  56. What a hoot. Thanks, Kristen, for my morning chuckle. I had a rescue cat who was declawed but who loved his morning walks outside. He would bring back a critter at least 4 days out of 7. I’m still now sure how he did it, but he had a very commanding presence. The next door neighbor’s cat who was twice Dino’s size, would take one look at him and run the other direction. Dino was also addicted to Cheez-its. He could hear me open the box from a mile away.

  57. I have a cat called Rebus that looks like Johnny, only a tad chubbier. Same face and colour and markings – it’s kinda eerie! His claim to fame is that he once successfully tracked and caught a slug. He wasn’t impressed when he tried to eat it.

  58. Oh my God, Kristen! Thanks for the chuckles! We have six freeloading cats – Miss Shaina, Lil Scamp, Shadow, Princess Lily, Colby Jackson and Bailey Boo. They wouldn’t know a mouse if it bit them in the ear! Bailey and Colby, the two youngest, would have a grand romp around the house playing with it but then they would probably show it the food dish and cuddle with it for awhile. 🙂

  59. “We could get ANOTHER cat. Like a bad@$$ cat from the streets, used to having to KILL for his food…but, admittedly, my pets are a seriously bad influence,and then we’d just have another freeloader watching us as we scramble around the living room trying to catch a mouse.”

    That is EXACTLY how it works. A stray used to feeding himself adopted us, and now he won’t go after anything, even roaches! Lazy somethingsomething.

  60. My cats are so badass they catch flies…with chopsticks. (Honestly.)

  61. I once had a cat named Mozart. Excellent hunter as long as it didn’t involve mice. Those he licked on the head right in front of me, then patted on the tush and sent on their merry way. Woe to baby rabbits! Long live mice!

  62. Had a cat named Rambo and he lived to be 18, which is amazing considering his habit of bringing in venomous brown snakes ( 3 to 4 feet long) for the family to admire. When he felt dainty he would leave mouse heads on your pillow, something of a dare I say, ‘head count’ to let you know he was worthy of our affection.

  63. Oh my gosh! This is exactly what my parents overtly well fed cats did as well when the mice got in the house! One sniffed the mouse, then backed up, let it start walking then started following it. You know, just to see what it was doing. The second sat up high on a perch and watched the other cat watching the mouse. At least until my mom started screaming murder, which frightened said cats up stairs and my mom had to push the mouse out with a broom.

    In the end, we got the electronic mouse-chasers from Home Depot. Doesn’t bother the cats (don’t know about a dog though) but it definitely got rid of the mice. Aim it at where you think they’re getting in.

    Of course we also had a cat bring us live mice, I think to feed us. But that’s another story.

  64. Your field mice are cute. City mice…not so much! We live in a house that’s 300 years old and it’s next to impossible to keep them completely out. When my father-in-law lived upstairs we had a major infestation due to his midnight snacking, and lack of clean-up. We also have 2 cockapoos who are completely useless against rodentia.
    We quit using glue pads after I came home one night to find a half dead mouse stuck to a glue pad and the other half of the pad stuck to my dog’s ear. You have never heard more girlie squealing in your life! I went nuts.
    The next day I called a professional exterminator and since then we’ve had much less drama around here.
    Your pets are adorable!

  65. Funny, with the month of June coming up I was trying to brainstorm on writing a story for children to submit. I thought about writing something on cats since we have several outdoor cats. What is materializing in the mind, however, is something Highlights for Children would not accept. They send out guidelines to help writers. What more Cricket Magazine, which has a demographics of the brightest children. Your post has me considering information living thing type story instead of a picture book for children, or talking cats looking for field mice.

  66. You can get ‘humane’ traps, they’re like a pipe with a bend, you put peanut butter in one end, the mouse runs in and when he reaches the peanut butter the trap tips and the door closes. Then you take him a few miles from your house, to a nice field and set him free.

    Did it three days ago. 😉



  67. Oh, been there. Last winter, we took in a stray (LittleCat) with the understanding that we couldn’t keep it and it would have to go to the pound. Well, the first night, the little guy caught two mice that had been scurrying through the walls. Our other cats Master Brown and Miss Molly, don’t even bother to get off their furry little butts anymore when they hear a sound.

    Needless to say, LittleCat is still with us.

  68. Our Tuxedo has been documented on my blog… aren’t they little stinkers? 🙂 Peanut is a bit of a handful, and I know that he would not have any idea what to do with a mouse. He stared at a bug as it almost climbed onto him. I finally got it with a tissue. Sigh. But we love them anyway…

  69. My cats are great hunters, but they rarely kill what they catch. My youngest likes to catch them and put them in a shoe then wait for them to come out so he can catch them again. Unfortunately, once he gets bored he simply leaves them there, dead or alive. Gotta love cats. 😉

  70. Cats probably train to be C.I.A. operatives. We think that they are not doing anything all day and they go through our privates like they own it. Whoa Bessie, your Post gave a connection idea for a Suspense Political Thriller. Instead of The Good Shepherd, THE CATS.

    “A shepherd would die for his sheep, but a hired hand would not,” said a priest, during a sermon.

    It was probably because JFK was assassinated and LBJ started the modern C.I.A. to prevent a future assassination. A paid Secret Service could not be trusted, unconditional loyalty was required.

    Boooy, I have to keep these thoughts for my next suspense political thriller.

  71. 1. A good mouser is trained to be a good mouser, or hunter, by another cat, usually the mother cat. Our adolescent male cat learned to be a good hunter by our older female. Also, if you play at sneaking and pouncing a lot with kittens, they will usually grow up to be good mousers.

    2. The main idea is not to overfeed your kitties. Feed them lots less. Catch one of the mice and play with it and your cats around feeding time so they get the idea. Once they are hungry, they will soon catch on.

  72. My cat, unfortunately, grew out of mousing 🙁 And all the mice know it. A rat once swiped him across the nose he was that confident of avoiding his now defunct wrath *sigh*

  73. We have recently adopted a cat who has typically been a hunter. He has killed a mouse, a rat, two squirrels, and several lizards in our yard. The coolest experience was finding a dead rat (with the proud feline nearby) and wondering how we were going to dispose of a rat. Blech! But when we came inside, I looked back out the window long enough to witness a vulture–yes, a vulture!–swoop down and grab that dead rodent right out of our back yard.

    Do you need a loaner hunting-cat-and-vulture combo?

  74. When I was in my twenties, I was still living with Mom and Dad. The kitchen cupboard had a box of Lasagna, that mice got into. (The mice must have been Sicilian). The oldest cat was sick and old, the youngest only a year old, the middle cat about eight. The middle cat was a male Siamese and super gentle. The cats and nothing. My mother marched back and forth in front of them, like General Patton. They stood side by side, and looked at my Mom like, “Hi Mom.”

  75. Thanks for making me laugh. Great column!

    I remember the time when we had a dinner party, and the cat came in the house with a mouse in its mouth. All the women screamed and got up on their chairs while all the men chased the cat around the house. It makes me laugh to recall that picture. What I can’t recall is what happened to the mouse!

  76. My two hunt, bugs, flies bees. Yerbie was highly insulted because a bee he had caught had the nerve to sting his paw. We occasionally will get little baby lizards in here. Luckily I’ve been able to save them and get them out before they caught a hold of him.
    Michael said he told you the story about his mother and the cats.

  77. I don’t have pets. But I thoroughly enjoyed this blog. You are gifted in the way that you portray the personalities of the animals and people in your home. What a wonderful sense of humor!

  78. You could buy a Rubbermaid durable plastic and dishwasher machine-safe container to put your jewelry and cash and sensitive materials and even a handgun and leave it even during wash, who would look in a dishwasher for your valuables but the C.I.A.?

    A normal burglar would not look in the dishwasher. Your CAT is C.I.A., but my question is. What if you decided to use a sealed-proof freezer safe Ziploc bag for your valuables; how will your CAT lift the cover of the toilet water tank to look in it?

    I am thinking of using the ideas for a murder mystery or political suspense thriller novel, planned for NaNoWriMo.

  79. Thanks for another huge laugh. I can so relate, but I wouldn’t trade my neurotic cats for anything.

    • Cale on April 26, 2013 at 1:28 am
    • Reply

    Glue traps ought to be outlawed. They’re torture traps.

    1. We refuse to use them. At the ranch, one of the family members kept using them and we spent all summer rescuing mice from them. I hate them and completely agree.

    • Diane Turner on April 26, 2013 at 2:54 am
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    I own the Intrepid Hunter – 6 lbs. of romping, stomping hunter. Our unsuspecting 22-lb. Thanksgiving turkey was defrosting in an ice bath in the kitchen sink. I came home to a bloody water trail running the length of the sink, the turkey on the floor in a puddle, and the hunter clutching the carcass in both front paws, like he thought it might get up and wander off. That turkey had puncture wounds enough to make a vampire proud, and it was still half frozen! Obviously my cat is a wimp. Sure he goes after big game (22 lbs worth), but should a real mouse (what does a mouse weigh? 2-3 ounces dripping wet?) dart in his line of sight, my Intrepid Hunter would squeal louder than any rodent as he dove for cover. He’s such the coward! It’s an embarrassment.
    Love your excellent piece and the grand photos. Your Johnny, Roo-Bee, and Pippa look to be properly spoiled. Yeah for you! Thanks for sharing.

  80. That mouse is licking its own foot while someone is taking its photo. What a rude little creature.

  81. (I have a solid black cat named Frances, though I sometimes call her “Little Bear.” She’s 11 years old and sleeps with me every night, mashed tightly against the side of my face. She’s more like a demented roommate than a pet.)

  82. I think your cats are true freeloaders. I have four cats, two of which are proven hunters, and the second of those has only been going outside for about two weeks or so! Presents found in the living room have included dead birds, dead mice, live birds, half-dead birds (that was the worst one, actually) and almost fully eaten birds. (They left a few feathers and the feet… I mean, they ate the skull and beak and everything else, but they left the feet? Why?)
    To be fair, I think I’d prefer freeloaders. 😉

  83. We got a poorly fox a lot of the time in our garden. We did start feeding it, as told by an animal organisation, so it kept coming to us. Now it comes and looks at my mum to say, ‘Where’s the food?’ then follows her around the garden. We don’t feed it anymore. So now it doesn’t come every day.

  84. Moo was an old-er cat accompanied with a doughy tummy that scraped along the ground. Somehow her body type didn’t retract from her masterly hunting skills. She loved leaving a collection of headless, mangled and half alive animals throughout the house. I’d prefer freeloaders than these “gifts” any day!

  85. My 5 cats enjoy playing “catch and release” with our mice. They chase the mice around the living room until one of them catches it, then the proud winner releases it so the other cats can have a turn. When the mouse gets too tired to run, they swat at it to get it started again. If the mouse refuses/can’t run anymore, they lose interest. At that point I rescue the mouse and release it outside.

    I am familiar with the disembodied heads cats leave behind, but even worse is finding the tails without the bodies. They resemble hair bands…

  86. ROFLMAO Kristin! We live in the country, surrounded by fields. Sounds idyllic, doesn’t it?? Until it starts raining and turns cold, and all the field mice start looking for dry, warm places. Yep, have had lots of furry freeloaders watching as a mouse (or two) scamper across the floor. We’re thankful our son left his two cats behind when he moved, but I’ll never get used to the evidence of good mousing – oh, and birding! – skills left around … or sometimes in, our house. You’d think it would cut down on cat food, but not so much, LOL! Good luck with the trap & release program!

    • denizb33 on April 26, 2013 at 9:30 am
    • Reply

    Mine would probably do the same… especially the rolling over on his back thing, our younger guy has turned that into an art form! The older guy is supposed to do all the chasing, but who knows…

    • Addy Rae on April 26, 2013 at 9:42 am
    • Reply

    We thought we had a mouse in the house last night, in the vents. There were horrible scrabbling noises, and we would occasionally pound the wall to get them to stop, and we tried to ignore it as best we could. I put traps on the grocery list. Then, we went to bed and the scrabbling started up a foot from my husband’s head. He flipped on the light… and it was a bat in our vents. Probably got mixed up when they did our roof the day before yesterday, or at least that’s our guess. Not sure how we’re going to get rid of it. It was fairly aggressive towards my husband’s shadow, and it tried to get TO the light and us so we think it might be rabid. Animal control might be involved if we can’t find a solution that doesn’t involve the possibility of getting bit!

  87. My cat is terrible about doing the same. I’ve never had a mouse problem, but when I lived in Waco for school, a roach might get in every great once and a while (it didn’t matter how clean you kept the apartment, it’s Waco: they will get in and they will fly). My cat (who also hunts hair ties with the best of them) made friends with the roach. You can put a paper bag, plastic bag, hair tie, or pretty much anything that will not jump back at him and he’s a vicious killer…. He wants to make friends with the bugs.

  88. My dear cat was a rescue from animal death row. After the rough life she’s had, I am happy to let her freeload. I’ve never seen her go after anything until these little pink lizards got into the house. She killed them and left the leavings in a heap on the carpet. She also spends a lot of time trying to find them by sniffing the baseboards and prowling behind furniture. I’d rather she left them alone, since I like lizards, but I rescue them when I’m quick enough. I have no idea what she’d do if she saw a mouse. Lizards seem to light her fire.

    • Elaine Pinckard on April 26, 2013 at 3:33 pm
    • Reply

    I posted this on FB instead of here. Willy boy came from my friend, Susan Bright. He would bring me dead animal parts. Through a dog door we had would come squirrel tails and headless, tailless rat bodies. Oook. I found him once playing with a dead rat, flinging it into a tree, waiting for it to fall down so he could fling it up again. Sweet boy, rest in peace.

    • Ian on April 26, 2013 at 5:02 pm
    • Reply

    These modern house cats are pretty useless at catching their former prey. Our cat, Pippin, loves to watch us clean the fish tank not because she is hoping for “an accident” where she might cash in,but because she thinks “da fishies is purdy…”. At least that’s why I think she constantly sits and admires them in awe from a respectful distance.

  89. This is SO funny…and so typical of housecats I’ve known and loved. In fact I have a suspicion that our cat once brought a mouse in the house through his cat door and let it go–probably just to watch us run around trying to catch it! LOL.Your Johnny reminds me of our 19-year-old who passed into “kitty heaven” a couple years ago.

  90. It sounds like you have a house full of personality. Hopefully the mice have not moved in and are just guests passing through. Mice are nice in stories and fields and that is about it. Best of luck with your adventures.

  91. when you got your cats did you not notice that tag they had on thier bum? the one that read “this item is sold for decorative purposes only”?

  92. Oh, we love this story and the photos! However, we choose to reserve judgment on the question of the rightness of the behavior of your cats in this situation:

    Being recent arrivals in the state of Texas (Relocated fron Ca. to Houston, last Sept.) we figure this may be something unique to Texas felines, so will keep an open mind until we gain more knowledge about the native felines and their cultural practices.

    BTW, our human was sponsored to attend next month’s Blog Paws Pet Blogging and Social Media Conference and as prep will finally be reading his copies of your two books!
    ( )

    Sincerely yours

    Mr. Nikita & Elvira Mistress of Felinity – The Opinionated Pussycats

  93. Our best mouser ever was Kovo, the 22 year old cat my husband found as a stray. His replacement is barely a year old and believes mice are fascinating play toys that she releases back into the wild (our house) when she tires of them. Patchy is more like your cats in that he likes to watch them, but will only catch the ones outside. 😀

    1. A female cat from next door made a mistake in having kittens in our yard just recently. Our pack of cats ate one of the two kittens. Our cats strut around like mountain lions and tigers and the felines chase birds like it should be on Discovery Channel of wild animals.

  94. I’ve only had one cat in my entire life of having cats that I was a mouser, but besides that all the others were free loaders. Luckily, besides that one time we never had a need for a mouser but the cats wouldn’t even go after the bugs in the house! I love the picture of your one cat on his back, it seems like he’s demanding you to rub his belly! 😉

    1. Roo-Bee is a TOTAL attention-whore.

  95. Another winner Kristen! I have a cat and mouse story, too.

    I have two cats, Patches and Zu. Patches generally marches to her own drummer, so tho’ she’s an able hunter, only hunts for sport. Zu on the other hand is the clumsiest, laziest cat I’ve ever had in my life. She’s the kind of cat that falls down trying to jump onto a ledge. What kind of cat falls down?? She’s ten years old now, but for most of her life she couldn’t catch a live animal even if she was starving. Feeling inadequate, however, she would often pick up a dead, dry leaf from our magnolia or bamboo and bring it into the house as a gift, laying it in the centre of the room. Then she would waltz around yowling to announce her hunting prowess. Pathetic, I know, but we would of course thank her profusely and congratulate her. This went on for years. Little did we know what this encouragement would lead to.

    Then, suddenly she acquired hunting skills, and started to bring live birds and moles and things into the house – and release them! Because that’s more fun! Or maybe she didn’t have such a good grip… dunno. About a year ago, she brought a baby field mouse into the house and let it go. We tried to catch it but it disappeared. For a while. Then the tell-tale mouse dropping would appear in weird places (drawers, etc.) Then I would find stashes of cat kibbles in the video drawers. I would clean up the mess and they would reappear. Then I found half eaten candy canes, chewing gum and wax candles. We set have-a-heart traps. No luck. After a while we got desperate and set real nasty old fashioned clamp traps, baited with peanut butter and cheese and other good stuff. Still no luck. There were sightings! The mouse was no longer a baby, but rather a HUGE glutted thing (not surprising, considering his diet of junk food). We made meaningful eye contact, but the mouse (by this time named Noel, as Christmas was approaching) could not be caught. So we decided to take the place apart. We moved furniture. We found more chewed up stuff. More mouse droppings. Then we discovered that Noel had made an apartment for himself behind the range, complete with furniture made of shredding insulation. We cleaned it up, blockaded everything with duct tape. Finally we got Noel out in the open, chased him around (what were the cats doing, you ask? Were they helping with the chase?? Nooo. They were watching, of course, with great interest. Well, Zu was. Patches was sleeping.) We barricaded Noel in a corner, finally trapped him under a sieve and sat back to have a look. I don’t know what kind of mouse he was, but he was enour-mouse.

    And he was injured. From the chase or his hard (HA!) life, we don’t know. But we couldn’t release him in that condition, so we fed him for a week or two until his sore paw, broken tail and icky eye healed. He was well again and kind of frisky. Cute as anything, but boy did he smell bad. On the eve of the day we planned to take him to his new home in the park, he escaped!!! Our friends and relatives by this time are rolling their eyes. Exasperated, we watched for him for a while, but saw no sign of him. Now he was in a different part of the house, not so well stocked with snacks. So hubby figured he might be getting hungry, and set the have a heart trap with a hunk of cheddar. For my birthday, (near the end of January), he presented me with Noel in his cage. Hurray! We released him the very next day, not wanting to push our luck this time. Probably some wild predator or better trained house cat got him within 24 hours, but at least his demise was not attributable to anyone (human or feline) in MY household. This entire saga lasted about seven months! I’m thinking theirs a children’s book in there somewhere.

    Cheers! MA

  96. Lol. Your cat’s are too funny. Silly, lazy things. No self-respecting cat should allow a mouse to live unchased.
    I don’t currently have a cat, living a somewhat nomadic lifestyle cat’s aren’t very fond of, but my favorite past-cats have been serious hunters. Before I left Florida, my kitty was a hunter who would bring mice and lizards to the front door quite regularly. She was also as housebroken as a dog and would scratch at the door to be let out/in for her daily bathroom visits. We had a litter box, of course, but almost never needed to clean it! <3
    The last stray kitty that adopted me was a hunter, too. She just had a little problem with finishing what she started. Instead of dropping dead things on the mat, she'd trot up to me while I was doing yoga and drop LIVE things under my feet. Needless to say, she and I had a few chats about her inappropriate demonstrations of affection. She never seemed to grasp how difficult it would be for me to continue feeding her if, while doing yoga, I fell and broke my fool neck because one of her 'gifts' ran up my leg and into my shorts.

  97. Okay, what’s up with “cat’s”?!? I swear my grammar is better than that. CATS, darn it, cats!

    • Leon on April 23, 2016 at 12:59 am
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    Similar situation here in PA! Two very domesticated, spoiled “freeloaders” have been on patrol for about a week to catch a very cute but elusive mouse. I spotted each cat with the mouse dangling from its mouth only to watch them drop their foil and then try to re-catch it!!! Mouse on the loose in the house!! Why won’t they end it??

    • Mandie on August 2, 2017 at 6:42 am
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    My cat is currently hunting a mouse in my room. I thought I heard something. Ugh! I really don’t like it when she brings friends home! Hope she catches it soon. It is 3:39am And I Can’t Sleep!! LoL She recently brought in a bar in which I had to call in my little sister to get it outside because she just let it go once she got it on my bed!! She’s So Naughty!! But The Cutest Girl Ever!!

      • Mandie on August 2, 2017 at 6:42 am
      • Reply

      Bat not Bar…

    1. If she starts fetching the bar for you that is a keeper! LOL. Yeah my cats are First World Kitties. “Hey, don’t you like have humans you pay to catch these things?”

    • deb on October 6, 2017 at 3:40 am
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    I have a cat that has killed some mice because I found them on the rug, which was great because I want them out of my house.But the problem I am having is seeing a mouse in my cats mouth (so grouse) and being that close to getting rid of that mouse, but I don’t know how to grab it out of his mouth. They are field mice and they are not very big. I try to get my cat to go outside and drop the mouse there but he will not come to me when I call him. And if there is a way to get the mouse out of his mouth, other than grabbing the mouse with my bear hands I would like to know about it. Here I see it in his mouth out of its mouth. Not only is seeing a mouse in a cats mouth disgusting, but being that close to killing a mouse and getting rid of him to the cat releasing him is just to close. I want the mice dead and gone.

    • David Long on March 3, 2021 at 7:24 pm
    • Reply

    My cat is an awesome hunter, he will totally get all, well most, well maybe some of the mice that come within paw striking distance of his bed, of course assuming he’s awake at the time.

  1. […] Lamb has a hilarious post today about her cats and their unwillingness to chase and/or catch mice.  I laughed all the way […]

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