I made a joke the other day about measuring the distance to Mars in football fields. Why? Because it is so quintessentially American. We will literally measure in anything BUT metric: school buses, dump trucks, blue whales, and the ever-classic…football fields.
It started innocently enough. I saw this article…which CRACKED ME UP:
This “article” made me laugh so hard I joked that, “I live for the day we measure light years with a ‘football field’ conversion so we Americans can grasp the sheer enormity of open space.”
Then I did it for fun, because I am a nerd.
*obviously feel free to skim*
Roll with me:
The average distance to Mars is about 2,050,000,000 football fields.
Now we need something like:
(football field)^x
1^x football fields
a^b ~ 2.05 × 10?
2³¹ ~ 2,147,483,648
So we could say:
The distance to Mars is roughly 2³¹ football fields.
That means:
If you doubled a football field 31 times, you’d reach roughly the distance between Earth and Mars.
We can do an entire American conversion chart for distance to Mars:
- ~ 2.05 billion football fields
- ~ 1.9 billion Walmart parking spaces
- ~ 320 million school buses
- ~ 8 billion bald eagles standing beak-to-tail
Laughs aside though, why do we Americans struggle SO MUCH with the metric system (other than sheer stubbornness, which is a totally valid argument)?
First of all, in the States we grow up in school, life and work constantly using a version of the old Imperial System. Most of us measure in miles per hour and feet and inches and pounds all the time. To us, metric might scale, and might be simple, but it definitely remains abstract.
Which brings me to my point. What IS measurement really?
A story.
Measurement as Narrative
Fans of the metric system claim it is logical, powers by ten, is used by the whole world! All of this is true but, IMO, the problem isn’t math, it’s human brains. We have a proclivity to attach any form of measurement to something we can imagine. Let me illustrate.
End of the World Movie
Picture it.
We are in the White House. Terrified analysts and scientists gather around a bank of computers, faces dour. President Tom Cruise paces thoughtfully back and forth while the experts talk.
Scientist: Mr. President!
President: Yes? How bad is it?
Scientist: Bad, REALLY BAD.
President: *heavy sigh* Just HOW bad?
Scientist: An asteroid approximately fifteen kilometers in diameter is approaching Earth at twenty-four kilometers per second!
President: Um…what?
Scientist: The impact will be approximately 3.1 X 10^17 joules, sir!
President: O_0
Scientist: Sir? Sir! An asteroid the SIZE of MANHATTAN is hurtling our way and will hit with the force of 300 million megatons of TNT!
President: Why didn’t you just lead with that?
See, when scientists say an asteroid is 15 kilometers in diameter that is math. When scientists say it is the size of Manhattan, that is a story. While metric measurement is brilliant for calculation, Imperial might be better for imagination.
Measure Stubbornness Story
I have been pondering this thought for a while. Started when someone on LinkedIn was griping how silly it was that Americans refuse to use metric. Someone answered in a way that made sense for the first time. He said it wasn’t we refused, but that one didn’t have to understand the Imperial system because Imperial made intuitive sense.
Zero degrees evokes “seriously cold” just as 115 degrees “feels” really frigging HOT.
No one needs to teach math or systems of ten or scaling to intuit the measure.
The Imperial System makes sense because I have carried a GALLON. I know a foot is the “length” of a human foot and a yard is the distance of a “typical” stride. I can picture that, feel it, sense it, envision it.
And Americans aren’t solely guilty. Journalists globally measure descriptively to anchor abstract measurements in things people can already understand. They might describe something in terms of “double-decker buses” or “lorries” or “Olympic swimming pools” for easy frame of reference.
Why? Because humans are wired for story.
Even a preschooler (or an American) can grasp the concept of something that’s the size of three full-grown elephants.
Weighed, Measured & Found Wanting
So what is the point of this post? Other than I unwittingly “discovered” something cool I wanted to share?
Nope. Pretty much that.
Light cognitive load today. You’re welcome.
Suffice to say that I have spent years trying to explain that we Americans just don’t USE metric all the time. Back when I was in university and a Neuroscience Major, I took a lot of Chemistry, Biology, etc. Since I was in a lab two hours a day, I used liters and grams and meters to the point I instinctively understood the measure in a practical way.
Decades away from having to use that system daily?
Meh, work is about a $26 Uber ride away. Looking to relocate to the office that is $6 Uber away (Uber being the measurement of length that ALSO factors in pain, inconvenience, and just how willing you are to risk your life).
This is the New, New Imperial Standard, btw 😉
What are YOUR thoughts? How do you measure?
Admittedly I posted my football fields to Mars on Linked in and the comments were HYSTERICAL. Orbits measured in Cheerio boxes, swallows (African or European?), parrots, kiddie pools because WHY does Olympic get all the glory, literally?
What are some of the funniest measurements you have seen? I hope you see the American plot to undermine metric really is NOT as nefarious as has been reported. I am shopping a lot more at Aldi, so totally working those metric muscles.
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Love your posts. I’m glad I’m not the only one whose brain pursues these circuitous intrigues. Thanks for the laffs.
An amusing post.Thanks for God giggles.I love the measurements in swallows or Cheerio boxes. I wonder how many individual Cheerios in the distance to Mars? :))
But I’d like to remind you that here in the UK we used Imperial measurements until we began the change in 1965. It took until the end of the 20th century to more or less complete it, although some things haven’t changed, such as miles (although we use metres and millimetres), pints for milk and beer, and many people weigh themselves in stones (not pounds, which doesn’t mean much to me) and feet.
But in the US, you use metric for your currency!
The UK changed largely to facilitate trade with the rest of the world.
But one thing that I find irritating is the use of ‘cups’ and ‘spoons’ in recipes. I have to look it up every time as they aren’t measures we have here. I can cope with pounds and ounces, and pints, but not cups.
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GURL! I HAVE TO LOOK ALL THAT UP! I wish they’d just PICK SOMETHING. It’s a constant mishmash here, too. Glad you enjoyed. Good to know I am not the only one with geeky humor 😛
I heard my wife explaining to our visitors from the UK that, in Canada, we measure distance by time – as in, Kelowna is four hours from here….
Part of it might be an unwilling subconscious glad it escaped being European.
‘Murica, baby.
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Oh most definitely, LOL.
On the other hand, I missed the lottery by one number.
Fun post Kristen, I nearly spit out my noggin of coffee. I think we should go back to spans, leagues, and palms. That’s coming from a man who’s a rod in height and weighs a little less than 3 1/2 firkins. Or to be more precise 13 1/2 stone.
The MAIN problem with the metric system is that it’s based on TEN, which is ONLY divisible by TWO and FIVE. We should actually be using a base TWELVE system, which is divisible by TWO, THREE, FOUR, and SIX. There are a great many measurements which are base twelve already and will NEVER be based on division by five (division by two already works in a base twelve system). Try to buy a five-pack of beer, or pack several ten-packs of eggs on a pallet, or explain how long a quarter-hour (fifteen minutes) would be in a twenty hour day. I’m all for eliminating the metric system entirely, and believe that in a thousand years it’ll be a curiosity of history.
By the way, counting by twelve is actually EASIER than counting by ten. If you use your thumb for a marker, touch in turn each of the three segments of your four fingers to count to twelve, then use the other hand to count the twelves. Two hands, twelve dozen (144 in base ten). Base ten? Five fingers x two hands, THAT’S IT!