Fortitude—enduring the tired, tedious and unremarkable chores—is what makes the difference between those who dream and those who do.
Why am I talking about this? Because recently I saw some quote scroll past on social media. It was something (of course) posted by one of those super happy “life coach” people.
Though I’m certain the quote was meant to inspire, it hit a sour note with me. It seemed dismissive of the pain, sacrifice and—yes, suffering—of those willing to dream, and then stick to that dream. It bypassed the fortitude necessary for success.
I don’t recall the quote’s exact wording (they’re all so similar), but the saccharin essence was the same. Apparently, if you don’t LOVE every single moment of what you’re doing, then maybe you don’t have the right career.
Keep searching! Dream! You have a right to be HAPPY! If it isn’t making you HAPPY, then MOVE ON!
See, writing—much like any worthy undertaking—comes part and parcel with a lot of drudgery and loads of stuff we’d rather not do.
Fortitude & Learning Curve Drudgery
A lot of folks believe that just because they’re proficient in their native language, they are then automatically qualified to write amazing fiction. Yeah…no.
Not judging at all. I used to be one of those people. I had zero concept how ridiculously hard it was to craft a readable story, let alone a good one.
Writing a novel that could span anywhere from 50K to 150K words (depending on genre) that manages to grab then hold a reader’s interest? AHHHH! Balancing plot points, plot arc, character, dialogue, scene and sequel, A-lines, B-lines, on and on?
It doesn’t take too long to understand why many great authors turned to booze and drugs.
*gives Poe a pass on the whole “heroin addiction'” thing*
Far too many writers start out believing the first novel they write is perfect, and if anyone counters this? They fall apart. Some give up. A few hire “editors” who are happy to tell them “the other meanie editor was totes unprofessional and it’s fiiiine to have fourteen POVs…all from cats.”
Others double-down on the denial and write a sequel or—God help us all—a series of equally crappy books that don’t sell.
Why?
Because learning to write novels is hard.
I’ve been through this, myself. My two formative mentors both made me cry…a LOT. And I am NOT a person who cries.
These mentors were nothing like my writing group. My writing group was so encouraging!
Bob and Les didn’t tell me my writing was unicorn tears, they told me it was more like what might come out of the other end of a unicorn.
No, not a unicorn. A hyena with tapeworm and a bad case of mange.
*weeps*
I didn’t love writing the same stuff over and over. Guess what? Didn’t always love reading and rereading the books they recommended I study.
Come to think of it, I didn’t love putting out my best only for it to come back with so much red I wondered if it had been hit by a bus then SHOT before they returned it.
Sure I could have quit. Thought about it a lot. A lot. Because shouldn’t I LOOOVE every moment of what I do? But, I didn’t quit because I wanted to become an excellent writer. I required more than glittery sparkly talent. I had to hone and develop fortitude.
I’m still a work in progress.
My critique group were fantastic cheerleaders, which we need…but not necessarily to make us better.
Cheerleaders look super pretty, but cheerleaders don’t train touchdowns.
Coaches who call out bad form, terrible plays, and awful habits create winners. These experts are hired to criticize, make a player watch footage over and over and, if warranted, do cherry-pickers until the player wants to DIE. Might seem “mean” but THIS is what will help that player make touchdowns.
Drudgery. Not pom-pom waving.
Fortitude: Welcome to the GRIND
There’s drudgery in the actual writing. Oh no! Yes, you heard it here first. Writing, while one of the BEST jobs in the world, contains more than its fair share of suckage.
The first draft can be loads of fun, until the mire of Act Two where you find yourself contemplating sudden and unexpected alien abduction—either for yourself to spring you from writing, or for your characters because you’ve messed up somewhere in the plot and written yourself into a corner.
Becoming successful in writing (or anything really) is never in the BIG things we do. It’s the compilation of a lot of small acts that build up over time.
It is showing up day after day even when we’d rather get a root canal than figure out what went sideways somewhere between page 1 and page 400.
We have to research, proofread, edit, revise, and all of this takes focus and time and pain. By the time a book is “ready” to be published, odds are pretty decent we’ll hate our own book and hope we never have to read it again.
***FYI: The feeling passes…eventually. Most of the time. Maybe.
Publishing Drudgery
For those who still want to traditionally publish, there is the drudgery of writing synopses and query letters and researching agents. Add the drudgery of the actual querying and subsequent waiting.
Meanwhile, most of us have day jobs and laundry and family members who expect to be fed every day #HighMaintenance.
Oh, and make sure to start writing the next book 😉 (refer to the love-fest above).
For those who choose a non-traditional path, we have to locate and hire the best people. Or maybe learn to format or design a cover ourselves. There may be multiple iterations of a cover. Then, if we believe we’ve found all our typos in our seventeen (hundred) passes? *clutches sides laughing*
And if we believe the proofreaders and editors caught all them too? Maybe, but..
On top of this, add in bookkeeping, record keeping, accounting, building a platform, understanding keywords and SEO and blah, blah, blah.
Suffice to say that YES, writing is a WONDERFUL job! I wouldn’t be here twenty years later if it was all bad. Yet, I do have to confess that choosing to become a writer showed me the worst parts of my character…in Technicolor.
I didn’t start blogging because I EVER believed my blog would be what it is today with millions of unique visitors. Want to know why I began blogging? I had ZERO self-discipline.
I’d become a person who didn’t want to do anything that I didn’t LOVE. If I wasn’t having FUN, then clearly I’d chosen the wrong career, right?
Wrong.
The Fortitude Factor
People who reach their goals and dreams are different for sure. Are they more gifted? Talented? Unusually good-looking? Perhaps. But, more often than not, these folks excel at handling the boring parts of the dream.
To which I shall refer to one of my favorite books on achievement. James Clear’s Atomic Habits (which I HIGHLY recommend), is fabulous. Yet, this quote in particular piqued my attention:
The greatest threat to success is not failure but boredom. We get bored with habits because they stop delighting us. The outcome becomes expected. And as our habits become ordinary, we start derailing our progress to seek novelty. Perhaps this is why we get caught up in a never-ending cycle, jumping from one workout to the next, one diet to the next, one business idea to the next. As soon as we experience the slightest dip in motivation, we begin seeking a new strategy—even if the old one was still working.
~ James Clear, Atomic Habits
You have NO idea how often I hear, “If I only had the TIME, I’d write more.” As if time is laying around in the couch cushions with the petrified Cheerios and the TV remote no one’s seen Twilight was popular.
Hey, I have been guilty here, too. Still can fall into old (bad) habits if I fail to remain vigilant. Yes, even after a pandemic when we all had more time than we knew what to do with.
The reason people (mistakenly) believe they must FIND TIME? It’s likely because they’ve hit the part of the writing process that’s actual WORK. It’s ceased to be a glorious high.
And, if they don’t start a new book (chasing the high), then they put off writing altogether using excuses more creative than their plot ideas.
Hey! Told y’all I have been guilty too…so no hating 😛 .
Yet, when we look at anything worth achieving, from writing an amazing book to being a great parent to running a profitable business, we see that it is how these individuals handle the millions of unremarkable unexciting and downright soul-crushing (but necessary) tasks that makes all the difference.
We see the same common denominator in every success story, from the legendary athletes willing to do the same drills over and over until perfected to the entrepreneurs who mined drudgery for the edge they needed to outpace all competition.
Fortitude: Can You Handle Being BORED?
Everyone loves new beginnings. The new relationship with no baggage and all hugs and kisses, the smell of the fresh notebook, the empty page waiting for all of our brilliant ideas. We love the new blog because it holds so much promise.
Then there is the new workout from YouTube, the new diet we found on Instagram, the new craft project we saw on Pinterest….
A lot of us fixate on whether we can handle the BIG moments, the MAJOR crises but I’d actually offer different advice. We need to ask the hard question.
Can we fall in love with pain and process as much as the end result? Everyone loves the summit selfie but few want the climb. It comes with hypoxia and pretty good odds you’ll die and no one will be able to claim your frozen corpse…ever.
Many of us LOVE the idea of six-pack abs…but we LOVE tacos more. We struggle after a few weeks. Why? Because we are tired, sore, and even though we’ve been working out for a WHOLE MONTH, we still don’t have a ripped physique.
Heck, we can’t even see a muscle. We’re tired of the pile of smelly clothes, the aches and pains and having to measure all our food. It isn’t FUN. In fact, it’s downright tedious.
We don’t LOVE the gym, the job, the book, the YouTube channel anymore because it’s day after day of nothing all that special…and pain.
Lots of that.
Catching Fire
Yet, all these small actions add up over time. When we embrace the dull actions and commit, we will eventually ignite. Ray Bradbury poetically asserted paper had an ignition point of 451 degrees Fahrenheit. The actual number is about thirty degrees higher.
Paper will burst into flames at about 480 degrees Fahrenheit (without being directly exposed to flame).
Using this analogy, let’s take our metaphorical paper and heat it to 100 degrees Fahrenheit, then 250, then 300, then 440, then 451. Boy, this is boring and taking a LONG time and taking energy. Nothing is happening.
Heat it to 460, then 470, then 477 and then throw up your hands because paper NEVER sets on fire without a high-budget marketing plan…I mean match.
Or, maybe there is a marked transformation somewhere between 477 degrees and 482 degrees. At 477 degrees Fahrenheit all looks the same. Oh but add in a little more energy and IGNITION. And this ignition all occurs within a range of a couple degrees.
Then…BOOM!
The same goes for becoming a successful author (as in a professional who’s PAID to play with our imaginary friends). A major key to success largely rests on how we handle the boring parts. Can we keep going, keep putting on the heat when it looks as if nothing is happening?
Success doesn’t have a canonized ignition point. If it did, being successful would be easy. Fortitude is a massive game changer.
If I knew I had to write five books, three series, add in a hundred blogs and forty three good reviews to reach literary stardom? Dang skippy I’d stick with it. There wouldn’t be ANY drudgery, because I’d have certainty.
But that’s the problem.
The ignition point for succeeding in anything is anything but certain (and might not even exist in some cases). It differs between people, generations, goals, industries, abilities, etc. We DON’T KNOW and THAT is precisely why drudgery can so easily undo us if we lack the fortitude to outlast it.
In the End
I want all your dreams to catch fire—your dreams to write, create, to be an excellent parent or partner, to achieve the remarkable.
If you can appreciate that every masterpiece began as a blank canvas, a hunk of marble, an ugly cement foundation, a sketch, or an idea and that IN BETWEEN there was a lot of wash, rinse, repeat and fortitude (which we can control)? You’re on your way to reaching those goals.
We’re rarely limited by our talent, yet we’re all too often hobbled by impatience. Drudgery makes us cave in too soon. It takes time to hone skills, learn a craft, build an audience, etc. Just keep pressing and hopefully you’ll see your ignition point and it will be the most beautiful light you’ve ever seen.
Then you get to do it again for the next goal 😀 . *smoochies*
But, you’ll be better and stronger because you know to expect the span of suck before the breakthrough! You will have strengthened and honed the fortitude required to finish. And the cool thing is, the more we work it, the stronger it gets.
What Are Your Thoughts?
I love hearing from you! Do you struggle with the doldrums in your dreams? Is it hard not to just start something new? Are your fortitude muscles weak? Have you been starting over so much that maybe that’s why you aren’t further along? Are you so sick of your book you want to cry? #GotTheTShirt
Don’t you wish we had the magic “temperature” where our dreams LIT UP? Some way to know if we were close? Or even heading in the correct direction? Have you struggled with learning to finish what you start? Been too easily distracted?
18 comments
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Scared and overwhelmed! While I dropped the ball at marketing, the sales that did come from my first self-published novel* resulted in reviews that blew my mind. And requests for a sequel. What!? What???? ?
(*My View of the Bright Moon)
Author
The somewhat good news of the digital age is an unlimited shelf life. People are always hunting for good books. Write more books and that will helk those algorithms. Best of luck and thanks for stopping by!
Bob and Les didn’t tell me my writing was unicorn tears, they told me it was more like what might come out of the other end of a unicorn.
That cracked me up
No, not a unicorn. A hyena with tapeworm and a bad case of mange.
And WP with another formatting error. SMH
Author
It was awful at the time but I am immensely grateful, for sure, LOL.
Yep, definitely one that struggles with doldrums in dreams. That’s because for years, I have never had the courage to aggressively pursue writing novels. The “reason”? Money. Yet I recall a quote from one of your earlier blogs to the effect of not writing because you won’t make money is the very reason you’re not making money. But I started to resent how much effort I would put into drudgery to secure jobs I didn’t want, while allowing my own dreams to settle in the dust. Fast forward, but I have changed my entire mentality. Still, the fortitude issue was a problem. I have several projects unfinished, where I have reached a sticking point, freaked out and run off. This even with a fanfiction story in German, most probably because it exposed my embarrassingly weak grammar. Currently reorganising my hours so that I can develop the muscle to push through! Great article!
Author
The good thing about fortitude is (what I will probably blog about next)…it can be flexible. Life changes, demands change, we have more resources or fewer. The point is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other on the (roughly) same path.
This blog is a great example. I have been blogging for SEVENTEEN years. I started at one time a week, went to three, upped to five, dropped back to three. Then I had a couple big ghost writing jobs so I was doing once every other week, then once a month, then back to once a week. Had to take off this past summer because I had to help my mom and was just burned OUT.
Yet, the Young Kristen would have given up when I could no longer do it perfectly. Perfect is the enemy of the good. Perfect is the enemy of the FINISHED.
You are still here and THAT is what matters.
All so very true, Kristen! I just keep suiting up and showing up to see what needs to happen next.
Dang, Kristen! I SWEAR you’ve been listening in on my critique group meetings! This is the very kind of thing we’ve been talking about. That shiny new penny is sooooo tempting, so much more than the cruddy, corroded one we really ought to be working on.
Which reminds me: I’ve still got about 100 pages of my WIP to read out loud, then verify all of the hyperlinks in it, before I send it off to my editor. Which I’m not doing while I’m typing this! *sighs* I know where the “round tu-it” is. Time to pick it up.
Great column as usual. It got me thinking what advice I’d give my younger self. Like most married with children wannabe writers I had trouble devoting time to write. The problem is everything I read on the young internet and writer’s magazines told me I needed to set aside time and a targeted word count. Writing became a drudgery. I’d tell younger Roger to treat writing as a hobby. When you mow the yard, or commuting to and from work, think of a couple lines of dialog, description, or what happens in the next paragraph. Then with the kids are in bed and my wife asleep on the couch, get on the PC and type a few words or do a little revision. It would have kept me moving forward and improving. Now, I have more time and enjoy writing. I love writing a page I know reads as well as the real pros. Sadly, I often follow up a well written passage with a few paragraphs that read like I suffered a black-out and continued banging away on the keyboard without a coherent thought in my head. When Kristen gets the bug to offer critiques, don’t hesitate, she’s excellent.
Hi Kristen!
I just want to thank you for this and your many other informative and inspirational posts. Your “new blog” alerts are my favorite thing to find in my inbox. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Debby
Perhaps we need as the soundtrack to our boring tasks the song sung by the castle guards in the Wizard of Oz movie.
“Oh-ee-oh, Yooooo, oh!”
I liked the picture of the road closed with the gate. During a project for Jaycees a couple of decades ago, the gate was closed to the field where we were supposed to have donkey baseball. The nice fellow with the donkeys was parked just outside of it. The Jaycees decided not to let this be a barrier and took off the gate at the hinges with some minor tools someone had in his truck. (we did have permission to use the field, the guy in charge just forgot to unlock it).
There is always an alternative.
“So what if I killed off Fred and he’s supposed to show up and guide the rest of the party? That’s what necromancy is for!”
Thanks Kirsten, I know you will always make me feel better about myself if I read your blog. It’s the 1% inspiration which keeps me going through the 99% perspiration that being a writer is. We keep plodding on, plodding on. Thanks for making me smile.
Yep, I needed this. Lots of *stuff* going on and my time is minimal, but dogonit, I need to get my buttocks in gear. Thanks for the friendly kick in the kiester, I mean reminder. *hugs*
Tenacity is key. I learned that in my 25 years working in construction management…until I was run over by a truck and set on fire. That forced a career change, I switched into newspaper work. Remarkable how similar each business is. Like a VP told me once while I faced a particularly chaotic construction project, “Keep your head down and plow ahead.” We fished that 16 month project in 11. News editors don’t wait for your inspiration. “You gotta go after the story hard,” one editor preached. Run your noise on that grindstone until the wheel cries if that’s what it takes to get there. As I write my tenth book I knew going in it wouldn’t be easier but it will be better than the previous. The only way I know how to get the unpleasant aspects of any job done is grinding down at the nasty bits away until gone. One can learn to love the process of chiseling stories out of resistance, and that challenge is never boring.
This hits home for me! I’m on the third rewrite of a novel (my 6th or 7th, I think) I’ve been working on for more than eight years. Eight years! Three near-total rewrites! But it’s important to me. Recently I’ve been firing up my enthusiasm by focusing on and leaning into my CHARACTERS. They don’t want me to give up because they’ll be doomed to obscurity if I do. So it feels as if I have a team on my side as I stagger toward the finish line.
Thanks for your inspiration.
I love reading your blog post, I have been enjoying them for years, but until now I was only reading to learn how to write a historical fiction novel, and you helped in spades. I have now three published novels on Amazon. The first was published in 2018, you can read about my books at writingmyway.net . But i have yet to receive one dime in royalties from any of my books. Nor have I been able to learn how many copies of my books have been sold. I’ve contacting the publishers, no response. I’ve contacted Amazon, they only tell me to contact the publishers. Problem is that stupid me used three vanities press to publish my novels. So, what do I do now? I know you’re busy, I realize that, so I’ll appreciate any advice you can give me. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.