Tag: funerals

Nothing Says "I’ll Love You Forever" Like a Dead-Mother-In-Law Diamond

I come from Vikings, and science has proven (okay “proven”) there is a genome embedded in our DNA that demands that, upon expiration, our bodies must be placed on a wooden ship in the middle of an All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet, then piled in gold, pushed out on the water and set on fire.