Ah, Falkor the Luck Dragon. Entire generations grew up absolutely loving the movie, “The NeverEnding Story” which I find fascinating because, objectively speaking? It is a terribly written movie. Yes, yes I know it was based off a book, but we are specifically referring to the movie today.
Though structurally awful, we love it anyway.
And that contradiction is the whole human problem AI struggles with (and is unlikely to ever solve). Humans are messy and what we like or dislike often makes no rational sense.
Maybe I am feeling a little evil today. Spawn (my teenage son) and I love to watch movies together. Since he’s been a baby, he’s been there while I was writing. Heck, he’s been reading since he was in diapers. Anyway, we talk about story, the structure, what makes a movie good or bad or how it could have been better.
Though my husband has forbidden me talk during movies—he says I ruin them *rolls eyes*—it isn’t uncommon for a 90 minute movie to take Spawn and me three hours to get through because we are discussing every little detail.
Since Spawn is truly gifted when it comes to structure, today I decided to throw him a curve ball.
A luck dragon shaped curve ball at that *evil laugh*.
Luck Dragon 101
Spawn is arguably one of the most astute story critics I know (*gets cramp patting self on back*). Whenever I have time off, usually I choose a movie for him to deconstruct. He still hasn’t forgiven me for “The Usual Suspects” and “Crashed” is among his favorite movies. Nonlinear timelines are particularly fun to get him to try and untangle, but today I did something different.
I didn’t tell him anything about “The NeverEnding Story” beforehand. Knowing the level of story critic he can be, I spent more time watching him/his reaction than I did the movie. I was waiting for him to comment, kept bracing for him to say something, call out the many, many flaws…but he didn’t.
He cried when the horse, Artax, sank into the Swamp of Sadness and was agog at how cool Falkor the Luck Dragon was. His only comment? Falkor looks like Pippa (our dog).
I said nothing.
We get to the end and I asked if he liked the movie. He gave me a resounding, “YES!”
Then I asked him why he would enjoy one of the most objectively BAD stories ever written? He just blinked at me slowly, trying to understand how I was messing with him.
Spawn: Why would you say that? You said you loved the movie.
Me: I do! One of my favorites!
Spawn:
Yes, I let him suffer when Artax sank into the Swamp of Sadness, then ugly cry even more when the Rock Biter essentially commits suicide because he couldn’t save his friends. I let him go through the WTH WHY WHAT HAVE WE ALL BEEN DOING when Fantasia is left blasted into sparkly space nuggets.
Why?
Because I’m a sadist?
YES…and no.
I was making a point.
Real Art IS Imperfect
Now, there are all sorts of philosophical arguments we could have but I am just gonna reach for that low-hanging fruit. While we humans might be enamored with perfection, it simultaneously repels us. My theory is it has to do with that healthy bit of narcissism we all possess. We want to SEE ourselves in art.
Since we can’t relate to perfect, when something is a bit too flawless? It quickly becomes boring. Mostly because the only thing that draws people faster than something perfect is a giant pileup of problems. Don’t believe me?
Think back to your dating years. Enough said.
Not only that, but think of the items we prize the most. People pay EXTRA for that antique dresser that has bumps, scratches and dings. We like “distressed leather,” hold onto that doll from childhood that’s been missing an eye since the cat chewed it off. If humans only loved perfect art, why then do we frame finger paintings from our five-year-olds?
NeverEnding Story Boring
Okay, please trust me for this next part. Why do I keep asserting “The NeverEnding Story” is a terrible story? Because by every plot metric, there was no way anyone should have been able to finish the movie let alone fall in love with it.
Roll with this for a bit.
In the beginning, we learn next to nothing about the protagonist, Sebastian, save for his father who has emotional depth that rivals the Sanka instant coffee conveniently in the shot. Add hot water (mom died) a couple minutes of “dad talk” to steep. Stir in chitchat about “too much daydreaming” and “we gotta keep going even after Mom died” and that’s all.
Oh, and the kid’s being bullied. Huge shocker. His parents named him Sebastian…in the 80s? Who other than Stevie Wonder could have seen THAT coming?
Fast forward and Sebastian steals borrows a special book, then pulls a move out of MY childhood and finds somewhere to hide in school so he can read instead of going to class.
Then the movie opens and we’re introduced to the first of many one-dimensional characters to come and we get the 411 on the core story problem.
Nothing.
Yes, very metaphorical but more on that later.
Fantasia (this magical world of stunning puppetry) is in peril. The Nothing has already destroyed much of the kingdom and the ONLY PERSON WHO CAN SAVE THEM is sick, dying and conveniently off camera. The Empress is somehow tethered to what is happening to Fantasia. As more of the lands are erased, the sicker she becomes.
Okay, cool enough.
That said….
The Nothing is eating away a world we haven’t been in long enough to care and gobbling up critters the viewing audience hasn’t even been introduced to. Total melodrama. And the solution? A boy hero who the viewer doesn’t know from a hole in the ground and who, truthfully, isn’t nearly as likable as his horse that sinks into the Swamp of Sadness.
So High Council instructs unlikable boy hero to leave his weapons for some bizarre reason even though they are sending him on a dangerous mission.
Oh-kay.
With no instructions.
All righty.
After weeks of searching without even knowing what he’s looking for, he finally decides to consult go and talk to Morla the Ancient One.
No idea why he didn’t START there, except it ends up being a giant waste of time anyway. Morla is a giant turtle that is suffering depression, possibly some disassociation, and is apparently off his meds. Morla tells boy hero the answer to their problems rest with the Southern Oracle…but it is ten thousand miles away.
Boy trudges off depressed and defeated and music rises to cue the audience that we are supposed to care.
Unlikable boy hero falls into the swamp…oh but Falcor the Luck Dragon swoops down from the sky and flies him ten thousand miles to the Southern Oracle.
How lucky for the boy hero. Better yet. How convenient for the screenwriters that Falkor was there to bail them out of a massive plot problem.
But It Gets Better…Nope It Doesn’t
Falkor rescues our boy hero from certain death and tends his wounds until he recovers. Oh, well two gnomes treat his wounds, and the husband gnome just happens to be a premiere expert on how to pass through the Southern Oracle without being make into a toaster pastry.
How LUCKY!
In fact, at literally every juncture, Atreyu (who’s supposed to be on a hero’s journey) never really has to make any decisions, let alone hard ones. Neither does Sebastian.
No, I shouldn’t finish that PBJ sandwich. A lot more reading to do.
The entire movie is one bad thing, then another bad thing, then a different maybe worse thing. Atreyu doesn’t exercise agency any more than Sebastian does.
Atreyu is just like wandering along through Fantasia like a Roomba while the story GPS “recalculates” to find him the shortest route with no ferries…and definitely no tolls. Meanwhile, Sebastian spends a lot of time screaming at a book and asking a lot of convenient questions out loud.
***And why does no one care that Sebastian is missing long after he should have been home, and during a storm? We were Gen X and it made sense.
ANYWAY….
Piled on top of the plot is the weird coincidence that there are a LOT of coincidences.
A lot.
And you know what? Despite ALL of this? We loved it anyway.
*hums NeverEnding Story theme song* Ha ha ha, huh huh huh, huh ha huh huh….*
Falkor and the Human Dilemma
Humans don’t experience art as a spreadsheet of objectively optimized components. We have this odd capacity to know that Falkor is a giant sparkly plot convenience, the story escalates oddly, and that the HORSE is more emotionally effective than most of the plot…yet we still feel wonder when that dragon swoops down out of the clouds.
Sometimes, the flaws are what can reach into our own human cracks and crevasses and pry open our hearts until we ugly cry. As a MIDDLE AGED WOMAN who’s taught story structure for almost two decades…I STILL CRIED. I still felt wonder when Sebastian finally realizes he’s actually part of the story.
I didn’t even care about that little Inception bit where the Empress breaks the fourth wall and says there are others watching the Earthling child’s adventure and experiencing the emotions HE is confronting.
Despite all the obvious areas that could have been “improved” would any of us really want that?
New and Improved Luck Dragons
The entire problem with fixing the problems is you’d edit out everything that made this movie unforgettable.
To fix Falkor, you lose Falkor.
Spoiler alert: You can’t have our Falkor.
Without the weird pacing, murky mythology, and a “hero” with zero agency, Falkor is no longer needed. We could make Atreyu more conventionally likable, tone down the melodrama, maybe get the turtle to lighten the hell up, but what happens then?
We’d remove the exact strangeness that made millions of children remember this movie forty years later.
AI probably could have done a “better” job. It could have taken out all the flaws and buffed out all the scratches, but what then? It would be like sewing the missing eye back on that childhood doll. It wouldn’t improve it all! Quite the opposite.
This, in my opinion, is why AI slop is already getting old. Sure, AI can create a commercial of “perfect humans” where no one needs makeup because zits and wrinkles don’t exist in AI land, but it’s BORING! Hop onto LinkedIn and every person who tries to convince you people can’t tell something AI wrote…and OBVIOUSLY wrote that post using AI.
How do we know?
We…just…do.
AI can make art/writing/drawings/video/music/stories/social media posts “better”, but better according to WHO, exactly? A lot of times, we don’t want the technically superior version. We want the giant depressed turtle, the horse scene that lands us in therapy, the sparkly flying glitter dog dragon to just APPEAR and solve all our problems. Yes, I get it, it’s magical thinking *rolls eyes*.
I KNOW! It IS magical thinking and that is precisely why we love stories like these, flaws and all.
What Are Your Thoughts on Luck Dragons?
Other than is would be AWESOME to have one? Do they do laundry? Pay off mortgages? Apologies for roasting a childhood favorite, but I hope it made the larger point.
Do we need to learn story, structure, arc, etc? Yes. Should we as writers want to put out the best work we can? Obviously.
Just remember that sometimes it’s the rough janky edges that make something unforgettable and beloved. Yes, edit and polish but also be aware that we can risk polishing out the magic readers crave now more than EVER in this AI hyper-optimized-perfected world.
What movie, book, story, piece of art do you love even though you KNOW it’s flawed by every standard measure? Have you ever loved something because of the imperfections? And that “fixing” those imperfections would actually ruin it for you? What are your thoughts on AI and creativity? Do you think we artists can get so obsessed with perfection that AI can discourage us?
Did you ever wonder why NO ONE cared Sebastian was hiding in the school attic with matches handy?
Me neither.
Anyway, fire away! I love hearing from y’all.
