How To Get Unfriended, Ignored, and Blocked on Facebook

Send GF cookies.

Happy Friday! Man, what a week. We’ve been having a ton of fun at WANA International with all the cool new classes. The teachers at WANA are so much fun, just like my good friend and WANA Instructor Lisa Hall-Wilson who’s stopped by for a visit.

Lisa? Why do you have a pillow case and duct tape? Are we querying agents today? I really think you should———*muffled tussle* *crash*

Signal Lost

Friends, this is Lisa. Sorry to do this, but I’ve taken Kristen and her blog hostage. I locked her outside and hid the spare key because I think she’s unfairly biased against Facebook. It’s true! She’s posted on here about the big bad Facebook tyranny ganging up on writers. The truth is writers can be their own worst enemy.

How did she get out of those bungee cords? All right, I’ve got to type fast.

Facebook is still free, and you don’t have to buy ads or promote posts to find success there. 50% of Canadians and 38% of Americans have a Facebook profile, and half of all users come back daily. Repeated studies have shown that people who engage with brands on Facebook are more likely to purchase from and recommend those brands than the brands they don’t follow.

I spend a lot of time on Facebook because I’m paid to, but also because it’s a natural fit for my personality. Writers seem to have this love/hate/I-don’t-get-it relationship with Facebook. The platform arbitrarily changes the rules, isn’t great with customer service, and their privacy track record is a bit tarnished terrible. I understand why people find that frustrating, but stop whining. I’m serious. *clears throat* Kristen that means you too ((hugs)) 😛 Facebook is a little dictatorial not perfect and it’s really easy to waste time there – I get that, but it’s still FREE.

I have two suck-it-up buttercup band-aids:

#1 Facebook just passed the 1 billion user milestone. 1 Billion Users! This is a massive marketplace and your readers are likely already there.

#2 Fans aren’t on Facebook to know about your latest book (stop frowning). People are on Facebook to connect with friends and family, but while they’re hanging out there they may take time to learn more about you, they may buy your book, they may tell a few dozen of their friends about your book. That’s all gravy.

Hang on…

OK – I’ve barricaded myself in the bathroom with my laptop tethered to my phone. She’s threatening to shut me down. I scooped her laptop and gave her phone to the Spawn to hide. That should buy us a few more minutes.

WANA is about helping you be a better writer, equipping you to succeed, and creating community. Here’s the hard truth: shortcuts on Facebook don’t work. Stop. Right now. Just STOP.

*engine turning over*

Did Kristen just fire up her creepy stalker van? She has a rather astonishing collection of stale candy in that thing. I’m resisting because this is important.

Posting Too Often

For the love of lol cats – stop posting on Facebook like it’s Twitter. Three to four times a day is a maximum. If I look at my newsfeed and it’s filled with posts from one page or profile, they’re blocked. No second chances. Sorry. (And while I’m willing to block game applications from my newsfeed, lots of people won’t – they just unfriend you)

Facebook is NOT Twitter

Why am I seeing hashtags on Facebook? If you link your Twitter and Facebook accounts, people will notice. There’s a whole generation on Facebook who don’t know what a hashtag is! If I wanted to hang out on Twitter I’d do that. If you must schedule posts, make sure to spread them out over several hours, and repeat yourself sparingly (or not at all).

Spam (Invading Space)

Do not DO NOT post about your book or plaster promotional statuses on other people’s walls. Especially don’t do this using your Facebook page. “Hey Lisa, great post. Why don’t you check out my page <insert link>.” It makes me feel like I’ve been groped on a first date – and I’m not that kind of girl. On Facebook, a profile wall is considered personal space. I own the space on my wall, and I decide who has permission to post there. This is akin to slipping your manuscript to an agent under the bathroom stall door. It feels…icky.

Stop the Guilt

Posting status updates/call to action/fill-in-the-blanks that manipulate or use guilt and shame to garner interaction are great if you want to be ignored. We’ve all seen these statuses: I bet you won’t share this… or Most people won’t share this because… or Click like if you think murder is wrong. Guilt trips are not endearing. I don’t even read past the first line.

Never Showing Up

People leave comments because they’re looking for a conversation. When you automate your posts and never hang out there, people are offended. It’s like inviting the neighbors to a backyard barbeque and then hitting the beach while they’re standing in your yard with empty glasses. Another great way to teach friends to ignore you.

Use Events for Book Launches

I get invited to online book launches on Facebook all the time. I can choose to attend or decline an event invite. Don’t use a group for a book launch, don’t force invite all your friends so you can spam them forever with ‘buy my book’ messages and email. Details about book tours, endorsements, etc. belong on an author page, not a group. That is how you get unfriended and blocked, or at best ignored.

Time’s up. The Spawn sold me out for Goldfish, and Kristen’s got her phone back. I’m taking one for the team here – remember that :D. Oooh – Is that Halloween chocolate…? No, not falling for it.

*loud banging on bathroom door*

What’s the most annoying thing you’ve seen or done on Facebook? Are you a reformed FB abuser? Have you had to reprimand friends in your network for poor manners? What are some of the habits that drive you bonkers on Facebook? I love hearing from you, too!

*Pixie Sticks slide under bathroom door*

Ooooh pixxxxiiiieeee stiiiiicks…..wheeeeeeee!!!!!!

I’m baaaack!

Whoa, Pixie Sticks to the rescue. Lisa’s in my living room spinning in circles and making herself dizzy. That should keep her occupied for a while until the sugar wears off. In all seriousness—which is kind of a rarity around here—Lisa is an amazing teacher and I hope you guys will sign up for her upcoming Facebook class. It’s like SIX WEEKS long, so plenty of time for Lisa to talk you off a ledge show you how to maximize Facebook AND have fun.

I hope you will show Lisa some comment love, because today we are going to do something different with the contest. One lucky winner will get to take Lisa’s class for FREE! Also, since you guys are such awesome and loyal friends of this blog, if you sign up for Lisa’s class Own Your Own Stage—Using Facebook for Author/Artist Branding and enter in the code WANAFB, this will give you $30 off Lisa’s class so you get SIX WEEKS of WANA Awesomeness for only $99. That is only $16.50 a week, $2.36 a DAY, .68 an hour! Lisa could be making Nikes in Taiwan for .73 an hour so this is a total BARGAIN! She rocks and I hope you will sign up and benefit from her wisdom.

Ok, fair enough, she does take candy from strangers, but she knows her stuff with Facebook. Give Lisa a warm WANA round of applause and enjoy your weekend!

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.


8 pings

Skip to comment form

  1. When I saw the headline, I cringed. Ooops. Sorry. Have totally learned better manners. Lisa, I like your style. Kristen, I learned a great deal from “we are not alone”, and from your blogs. I repeat to myself every day: Transitioning from academia to the real world is a good thing

  2. Hey Lisa, great post. Just one complaint – did you have to let Kristen go??!! 😉 A true WANA post. Informative, honest and down-right useful. I am on a mission this Autumn (that’s Fall to you guys!) to delete/unfriend/hunt down anyone who sends me an invite to a book launch. Guess my friends list is gonna be as bare as a Christmas Trees branch in Spring by the time I’m done! Hey ho, can’t win them all! 😉

    1. To clarify I didn’t let her – she escaped. 😛 I don’t have a problem with people using Facebook to promote their book launches, but there’s a right way and a wrong way to do it. Events expire. I can choose to accept or decline, or just ignore the notifications (wish Facebook would let me modify those) until the event ends. When you do it through a group it can be an unending barrage of ‘buy this’ and that’s annoying.

  3. Lisa and Kristen! Very cute and very funny as well as extremely informative!!! I needed to read this today. Fighting an awful cold I caught from my son.:( Anyway, this sounds like a class I need to take. I suck at social media. Right, Kristen? 🙂 Thankfully I haven’t made too many mistakes so far, I just hardly ever post. Can’t make a mistake if you don’t put yourself out there!
    WANA rocks, ladies. I’m learning so much and making many cool and terrific friends!

  4. *giggle*

    • David Lowbridge on October 19, 2012 at 11:59 am
    • Reply

    This is certainly a lesson that some authors need to learn about. Too many times I get inundated with buy this book, like my page, come to my event. I don’t mind the odd one, but social media is not about selling, its about establishing your brand. Only 1% of sales were traced back to social media links in a recent Forrester’s report. 20% were from people learning about a brand / product and then searching for it on the internet. I think it is obvious which route authors should be aiming for.

  5. The guilt and manipulations posts!! I hate, hate those. I will ignore all those “click like if you want to save darling kiity” posts. I can’t unfriend the aunts who post them or Thanksgiving would be awkward, but I’m likely to unfriend other people who subject me to that kind of stuff.

  6. This one made me laugh. 🙂 The most annoying thing for me on facebook is one you all ready mentioned. The guilt posts. If you don’t click on this your head will fall off and be used as a hockey puck type of thing. I mean, really?? If that is all someone can post on facebook they need to find something else to do with their time.

    • prudencemacleod on October 19, 2012 at 12:01 pm
    • Reply

    Hey, an action adventure blog. This just keeps getting better and better. Thanks for the tips Lisa. Good advice, every bit of it. 🙂

    • annerallen on October 19, 2012 at 12:05 pm
    • Reply

    Thank you, thank you! I just posted on my wall that I’m going to unfriend anybody who posts ads for their books, religious spam, pleas for charitable donations, and political stuff on my wall. I found out that many causes have a “share to facebook” button that will spam every single one of your FB friends. So be very, very careful with those. It’s better to copy and paste onto your own wall.

    And I’m especially grateful for this one: “Don’t use a group for a book launch,” I get so many of these I want to scream. When I try to “decline” they make me answer the question, “why are you not attending?” Um, maybe because you’re a spammy creep?

  7. Lisa and Kristin, Thanks for this helpful post. I’m one of those people that has used facebook personally and loved it, but can’t quite figure out how to use it well as an author. Thanks so much fo these tips!

  8. Oh. My. Goodness. Lisa, I think we might be long-lost twins (except I’m much older than you), or perhaps share a brain. Thank you for saying everything I have thought about Facebook. I really, really don’t like hashtags in FB posts, and I also refuse to read the guilt posts (even if it means my head will fall off, JackieP).

    This was GREAT. I hope this post goes viral.


  9. Great post! I don’t mind newsy FB posts about books or the occasional launch invite, but lately my email has been inundated with all kinds of events. And it seems they cannot be ignored because we cannot turn off notifications unless we say ‘yes, maybe or no.’ And being a softy who hates to say no to anyone, I end up giving an insincere yes or maybe and have to live with the guilt.

    Anyway, for those of you thinking about taking Lisa’s class, I was lucky enough to have her in my WANA blogging course and can vouch for her awesome FB knowledge and generosity in helping me and others with our FB issues.

  10. Reblogged this on Cristin Harber and commented:
    Brilliantly funny post on using Facebook as a tool, not a cattle prod.

  11. Fantastic post, Lisa! And man. Next time I need to impose a hostage situation, I’m calling you.

    I thought hash tags were useful for any/all sites and search engines (FB, Google, Pinterest…). I use them to search, and post them on occasion–sometimes just to be goofy. Am I unfriend-able? Help!

    1. No! You’re not even close to being unfriended. It’s obvious to me when people are cross posting, and when they’re using a hashtag for emphasis or for searching – but I’m pretty FB savvy. One of the largest growing demographics on FB are women over 40, who like Facebook just the way it is and don’t know anything about Twitter or hashtags (they had their son or grandson put up their profile photo). I think it’s important to be aware of how it’s perceived by some people on pages especially.

      1. Whew! Great to know. Seriously awesome tips. 🙂

  12. Hilarious and informative post! You ladies are a riot. The most annoying FBers to me are the multiple posters. The ones that post ten times a day drive me nuts. I limit myself to once a day… and if I think of something witty or fun after I’ve already posted for the day, I’ll jot it down somewhere and save it for a time when I can’t think of anything worth posting. Also, people who feel the need to post every morning to tell us about the weather then have three more posts about how we have to be careful in the rain/cold/hurricane and follow up later on with a post to see how everyone survived.

    • jodenton445 on October 19, 2012 at 12:27 pm
    • Reply

    I had fun reading this post and nodding my head in agreement so much, my neck hurts. Lisa, excellent post! Kristen…way too funny. Thanks so much, ladies.

  13. OK, I just unlinked my Twitter and Facebook, based on this post…I didn’t know I was being unfriendly!! Twitter is my happy place, so I was sharing my happy. All fixed!!

  14. Actually, I don’t mind the charitable donations posts. I can pick and choose what I want to respond to, and it keeps me aware of all the need out there. I don’t like the constant hawking of books by authors. I would like to see a more meaningful exchange once in a while. I am totally inept at Facebook, and one of the Love/Hate Relationship Facebookers. Today, I was considering deactivating my account temporarily. It’s the policing, man!

    Kristen – I finally got around to joining WANA!

    Loved everything about this post.

  15. I’m thrilled to say I don’t do any of these things. Yay! The ‘Stop the Guilt’ one…grrrrr, it makes me rather annoyed. Okay, I’m being nice. It makes me irritated enough that I want to say someone soo badly. But then I remember that I’m usually a nice person and don’t want to be known as the FB beyotch, so I scroll away.

  16. Thank you for helping people be less stupid on Facebook.

  17. Those guilt posts you talk about? Yeah. I roll my eyes at them any time I see one. Ridiculous! I don’t like being manipulated in such a disgusting manner, especially on Facebook.
    Great post, Lisa! And Kristen, thanks for letting her invade your blog… even if you did have to give away your pixie sticks to get it back 😉

  18. I’m afraid my new hate comes from Facebook itself – if one of my friends Likes a company, product, or (yikes!) A politician, a big ad for it shows up on my wall and I can’t hide it! Makes me want to just hide in my groups, at least until the election is over.

    1. This is actually a really great point, because a ‘like’ on Facebook is considered an endorsement. FB recently launched a recommend button to help with this, but be very careful about what you ‘like’ on FB because they will use that to promote products and pages to your friends. Friends won’t know this was a pity like or a guilt-driven like. They’ll assume you’re endorsing the page/product – so keep your branding in mind when you’re on FB.

  19. I’m on FB to connect with friends and family, not to sell books. I love the inspirational and funny posts or current events posts, and I share them if they hit home or if I agree. The others? I just scroll past and don’t pay attention to them. After all, everyone is entitled, as I am, to say (post) anything they wish…but I’m not required to read it. But I don’t unfriend or ignore people for being boring. I only do that if they are truly offensive.

    And while I have, a few times, told my friends via FB when I had a book on free promotion or told them when I have a new book out, that’s about the extent of book mentions, Why? Because I get so bored with the car-salesman-type-book-pushers…I don’t ever want to be like that.

  20. I don’t post all the time on facebook or twitter. I only post when I have something to say and it’s not “buy my stuff…however, I’m one of the ones Lisa talked about, yeah I still don’t understand hashtags and how to use them. Help please???

    BTW, great entertaining read!

  21. Great tips! Thank you! Facebook is my go to place when I want to socialize. Twitter reads like noise to me so I only go there when I have to. But because I avoid Twitter, I like it when people link their accounts. At least this way I don’t miss them when I’m on a Twitter fast.

    I have a question though. I’ve noticed some of my friends’ posts are not appearing on my timeline. I try to click on their profiles when I haven’t heard from them for a while. Is it true what I hear that FB wants to charge us to let everyone see our posts?

    Really enjoyed this post.

  22. – Repeated, unfunny “inspirational” pictures. The only thing they inspire me to do is go jump off a building.

    – As stated, the guilt posts. Ugh. Guilt is evil.

    – Gotta confess, I LOVE hash tags because I think they can add some great humor to a post, but I do think they’re annoying when they’re clearly not adding anything funny.

    Great post, and I AM glad Kristen escaped, even though she needed to be subdued so you could get this message out. She posts some pretty good stuff, and I think we’d miss her. Giving the Spawn her phone was a stroke of genius, though. My two-year-old’s ability to keep hold of mine no matter how hard I tug is epic.

    1. The ones that crack me up Lysana are the “inspirational pictures” that are misspelled! 😉

      Awesome post, Lisa. You’ve not only served the writing community but all people who use Facebook.

      I’m off to share now with the hopes that Family will improve.

      I hope your post goes viral. 🙂

  23. Great post Lisa! I go back and forth on the benefits of Facebook, but I have both a profile and page. My page seems relatively successful although I don’t get a huge amount of engagement. But I do agree that it’s important to be there.

    “I wanna be where the people are…” Okay sorry. My daughter’s in The Little Mermaid right now. 🙂

  24. While I thoroughly agree with 99% of your post, I’ll have to respectfully disagree about the Facebook “Events”. Just as with the guilt posts you refer to, the peer pressure for events is terrible. Generally, I end up clicking to “join” and then turning off all notifications to stop the noise. If I don’t, I get an alert every time something gets posted to the event. And I don’t want my happy face listed with those who decline to go.

    I have two groups I interact with on Facebook: my old time friends, and my new author acquaintances. Neither of which, by and large, are my target audience for my books, and frankly, I’m not the target audience for the majority of the books my compatriots shout about most of the time. I tend to be a private person, so maybe I’m overreacting, but I also try to follow the Golden Rule and do unto others …

  25. HA! Excellent post! I don’t understand half the tech that’s out there so there’s no worrying about me auto-spamming anyone or cross-posting anything. I’m lucky if I remember to add hashtags when I’m on Twitter. 😛

    I don’t un-friend anyone, I just have all their updates on hide. 😀

    1. And that’s a great point. You can’t tell if someone has hidden your posts, you’re just relegated to a dark corner of FB with no real way to redeem yourself.

      1. Oh they can redeem themselves by interacting with me more. Mind you, if they’re a bad spammer, I won’t re-instate their news feed.

  26. Good, Lord. I’ve been so green to social media, that after reading this … I really hope I’m not guilty of this … Ugh. I’m soooo sorry. It’s an excellent post. And I do not like it when folks post on my wall without asking. I know I don’t do that, nor do I abuse in a group. That being said, FACEBOOK is difficult to understand at times and I would love to get my questions answered by a live person. I guess that’s impossible with a gazillion users. Still, I believe many FB users have no intention of spamming. They’re just winging it like many of us do. They just haven’t read Kristen’s blog yet. 🙂

  27. Lisa, Lisa and The Spawn Cult Jam in the House!!!! Fabulous post my darling. Thank you for saying what has been rolling around in my small head about people spamming their books. And I will say there are some WANA’s out there who do it ALL THE TIME… I’m calling y’all out. I have “hidden” some folks because it just got to be annoying. I like your approach of creating an event for a book release, because then I can attend or decline. I think part of the problem is that as writers, we are a tad self-absorbed and think, “well, doesn’t EVERYONE want to hear about my book?” And the truth is, as friends, we love and support you, but don’t push it too often. A fine line. Congratulations on your class, sounds like so much fun.

    • malindalou on October 19, 2012 at 1:10 pm
    • Reply

    ROFLing here and agreeing with Lisa that Facebook users need to remember to be social and to not use the site as an information dumping ground. That being said, the only thing that drives me nuts on Facebook is when I’m unfriended or poked for no reason.

    I also could not agree with her more that it is not necessary to pay for Facebook to promote your posts. The best way to get people to see your corporate status updates is to encourage them to interact with you. The second best way is to publish the content people want to read.

    I hide updates from companies who promote their posts. Ewww…

    • Stacy A on October 19, 2012 at 1:14 pm
    • Reply

    My favorite Christian rock star, Phil Joel (yes, I’m naming names) has made it clear he’s not into social media. On the other hand, he started a facebook page about a year or more ago and for awhile posted faithfully while he was on tour. He broke the cardinal rule about always answering when people engage (he never responded to direct questions, statements, etc), but hey, he was posting! It was cool!

    And then he stopped. And now the only thing that shows up on his page that is from him is an automated post pointing to the daily Bible reading he and his wife have set up. He doesn’t answer comments on those, either.

    Dude, I love you. With all my rocker-girl heart. But either DO or DO NOT, huh? This half-pai thing is just annoying.

    I don’t think it would hurt him to get on facebook once a day and answer a few — a FEW — fans. And say what he’s up to. We only know because of his buddy Peter Furler, who he is touring with, and who is pretty darned good at the social networking thing. (Peter, you rock, but I still love Phil better.)

    Anyway, Phil is a great example of how NOT to do social networking as a professional Artist of Some Sort. (I can overlook just about anything with Phil, though.)

    Also, a writer who I will NOT name and who I really enjoy is a spammer. Not on my page, but she spams her facebook page with posts, many of which are also Twitter posts. I haven’t unliked her, but it is, again, annoying.

    Number one rule? Think about how you want others to treat you on facebook and do likewise. Or if you’re kinda weird and fringe and LIKE not being responded to or getting gobs of status updates from one person, think about what the majority of people would like and do likewise. It’s not rocket science.

  28. Reblogged this on K. Crumley rambles on… and commented:
    LOL! So very true…and some of it applies to non-writers as well. 🙂

  29. I’m with you on the guilt posts! I hate them, but I ignore them. I also can’t stand how people post those triggering bogus chain-letters (abused animals and children). The first thing I do is google it if I think it’s a scam. Too many people don’t stop to use plain common sense on Facebook. I don’t un-friend people over any of that though–guess I have a high tolerance and just ignore most of it. What I won’t put up with is downright rudeness–like the woman who just yesterday posted her political leanings on my wall, and when I asked her not to do it again, she got nasty and called me a brainwashed criminal because I didn’t side with her!

    Okay, rant over. 🙂

    Thanks for posting this. I especially enjoyed the humor.

  30. Wonderful post. I do the facebook thing, but in moderation. I could so relate to many of the things in this post. The worst thing I hate on facebook are friends who post a string of political or just plain silly cartoons or photos. Enough!…is what it makes me want to scream. I began facebook and like it to keep in touch with family and friends not to be blasted by the political views of others.

  31. Kill me. I’ve ditched Facebook for Google+, but because actually interested in building a platform with the latter.

  32. Hilarious post! You ladies are a hoot. I really hate the political garbage and the guilt stuff so much I “hide” the posts. Haven’t blocked a good friend yet but I’m tempted. Good reminders on courtesy and restraint. Thanks for this slap up the side of the head. 🙂

  33. I love Facebook, and although I do have an author page and a personal page, I use them both to help folks get to know me. (I’m a humor writer.) I’ll post funny bits that won’t appear in the books. I always interact with anyone who posts or comments. And since I write and sell humor, I stay away from politics and religion or almost anything serious on FB. There are other venues where I can discuss deeply philosophical stuff (you know, like, Twitter), so I leave FB for self-promotion via self-sharing.

  34. Damn, you had me at Pixie Sticks. throw in some sequins and….SQUIRREL!

    I get new authors all the time who spam my wall with their book/even links. But I also get horrendous emotional blackmail posts…”adopt this dog/cat/gopher/caterpillar or the EVIL SHELTER will KILL HIM…! AND IT’S YOU’RE FAULT”

    I used to delete, and send a private note explaining why. But too many anymore, so I just delete. And if they do it again, I block.

  35. Awesome post! I ignore the manipulative posts and the other jargon and look for people’s real comments. For awhile, I didn’t post on FB for the above reasons and others, but now I’m slowly resurfacing. I don’t see it as a platform, but a way to stay in touch with people. I’ve got to balance reality, face to face people time with FB, twitter, blog time, otherwise my emotional well-being starts to degrade. Still learning the ropes. 🙂

  36. I LOATHE political propaganda in my newsfeed. I purposefully do not follow political sites, so when my friends post links or abusive messages targeted at a specific candidate (or their supporters), it feels like a campaign poster was just pasted to my face. It is the quickest way to make this author very unhappy. Otherwise, I severely dislike all the updates and the fact that they can change your profile address (by changing your registered name) at any time for any reason and they won’t give it back. I confess I don’t use it often because it annoys me. Twitter is just more fun! Sorry Lisa. However, I do love the “events” feature and many of my friends organize their street teams on Facebook. So, I’m willing to admit (grudgingly) that it’s not all bad.

    • laurel on October 19, 2012 at 2:37 pm
    • Reply

    This is such a fun post, and it certainly hit some buttons for me. I have issues with the privacy settings – or lack thereof, I don’t want the entire world to know my birthdate (complete with year for heaven’s sake) and continually admonish family and friends about such posts.
    I’m also not a big fan because of the time it can suck out of my writing life, Self restraint is not my strong suit.
    Btw: I would love to take the class and learn to maximize my Facebook experience but it is offered during NaNoWriMo and I will be deep into my new story for four of the six weeks.

  37. Hello Oh Wonderful Facebook Fairy,

    I ignore political posts, causes and spam. As you know, I’m not facebook savvy. BUT my readers have found me there and have a dialogue about my stories. All they want to know is when is the next book out.

    It’s hard for writers to know what to share and what not to share. Do others want to know what’s been successful as a marketing strategy (on the WANA thread) or not? If what I post there is seen as spam then I’ll keep quiet and move along elsewhere.

    1. CC That is one of the reasons I started getting the WANAs to use Facebook groups that were private. We had a member of the 112s who was VERY vocal about how #MyWANA should only be used for selling and swapping marketing tactics, yet he didn’t stop to think that this type of feed is public. What would we be blitzing others with? It’s also one of the reasons I started WANATribe so people could create tribes where these kinds of postings were appropriate. I don’t think any of us mind an author here and there posting about a book or a marketing tactic, but we have started seeing a lot of writers acting worse than an Amway sales rep mixed with Jehova’s Witness.

    • marsharwest on October 19, 2012 at 3:03 pm
    • Reply

    I’m one of those who said I’d never FB, but I actually like it. On occassion I’m wrong. LOL I don’t get all of it, but still it’s a quick way to communicate with a lot of folks at once. I will be glad when the politcal season is over. I have some cousins who post absolutely obnoxious things! If they weren’t cousins, I’d unfriend them. Other than that they’re perfectly lovely people.
    I’m on twitter but barely, because all the hastags just leave me cold. I look forward to the day, I can post I have a book coming out and don’t mind at all seeing that from other authors.
    My biggest gripe is the people who post 16 times a day–or so it seems. Lisa, I think even four is too much unless you’re dialoging with some folks.
    By the way, this was a very entertaining and educational post. Thanks, Lisa. I’m sure Kristen needed the rest. The child is the Energizer Bunny with all she’s doing at the same time. 🙂

  38. Wonderful, funny post. I have one of those love/hate relationships with Facebook. Mostly I like it, and most of the problems I have with it are technical. For example, the fact that they don’t ever post all my friend’s posts into my feed. I go look up my son or daughter, for example, and there are posts on their walls that never made it to my feed. I don’t know what to do about that–go to each friend (I have over 600 now) and check their wall every time? Not possible. So, I don’t know what I’m missing, where I could be commenting on friend’s posts, and if they think I’m totally ignoring them. I’ve switched back and forth between sorting by top stories and most recent–doesn’t matter, I never get them all. That said, I don’t see a lot of spam, or maybe don’t recognize it when I see it. I WANT to know when a friend has a new book or short story published. I want to know how their writing life is going. Is that spam? I put up a mixture of fun stuff, small personal notes if I think they’re unusual or interesting, and notices of my blog posts subjects and other announcements about my writing life. After reading this, I’m not sure I’d pass through your gate.

  39. The absolutely most annoying post I’ve seen recently on Facebook was a picture with “Click Like if you love God. Ignore this if you don’t.” Epic guilt trip right there.

    I’m pretty horrible at interacting on Facebook. I don’t spam, but I don’t really use it to the fullest, either. Hence the reason I’m looking forward to your class. 🙂

  40. PHEW! *wipes forehead* So glad I haven’t made any of these mistakes on FB! I agree that it’s a very different animal than Twitter. Thankfully I had Kristen’s book to guide me. But I know there’s more I could be doing to utilize this channel. So confusing how some posts reach more people than others. Probably also need to learn how better to interact with the peeps on my growing fan page. Ready to learn more!

  41. Absolutely LOVED this blog Lisa/Kristen! Thanks Lisa for all the FB tips. Remind me to lock away any ropes, duct tape, and pillow cases for our Tuesday’s writer’s club!! What’s your favorite candy again? 🙂

    1. P.S. One of the things that annoys me on FB is WHEN PEOPLE SCREAM AT YOU Or Post Every Word Like This! Isn’t That Annoying? 🙂

  42. “Don’t use a group for a book launch” – I would go so far as to say don’t use a group for anything, at least not without asking first. I’ve been added to so many writing groups on FB by a couple people, and all it does is make me annoyed at those people. I think people get groups confused with lists, but it’s so annoying.

    Then again, just about everything Facebook-related annoys me. Which is why I rarely post on it. I actually post on my page more often than my profile 😛

  43. Great post with sound, practical nuggets of advice! I absolutely agree! I limit my posts to 2 or 3 a day, well spaced-out.

    Also, I CAN’T STAND IT when other pages post on my page”s wall. What makes them think that is okay? At least the new timeline format tucks those spammy posts off into the corner.

  44. Friends, Writers, and Countrymen, lend me your ears:

    I don’t mind the person who posts their book or blog news several times on their own pages and it shows up in my newsfeed. Honestly, I don’t check Facebook everyday so I often miss those types of updates. However, a “friend” really crossed the line when I posted a message about something that was important to me at the time and had friends, family, and coworkers responding. Then, 20 responses down was this random message that had nothing to do with the topic of discussion, requesting that we support a very controversial event. To make matters worse, the event didn’t even involve the person who posted the message–it was to support someone that I didn’t even know in another state!!!

    I was livid because the random message opened me up to having to explain my views on a certain topic just because someone else was super cool with putting their viewpoint out there. I was completely unprepared for that. It was like me starting a conversation saying that I like hamburgers, and because the post was popular and was getting responses, they post a message for us to click here to support gay marriage or free guns for everyone. It was completely inappropriate and I couldn’t understand why a person would do that–especially if the issue or event they were promoting wasn’t even theirs.

  45. Fantastic post, Lisa! I especially love your tips for not spamming with book launches. That’s one of my pet peeves–big time! I hate feeling like I have to decline (and not look supportive of my friends) just to save my inbox. And I really hate being invited to a book launch group without my permission.

    So far, I haven’t had too many problems with people posting spam on my wall, but maybe that’s because I don’t use FB very often. 😉

  46. I learned so much with this post. I must take the FB class asap. I’m in the middle of WANA1012 and have just found out I’m 2 weeks behind. I need to start the FB and Twitter classes. I’m freaking out. Eeeeeee! Wish I could just twitch my nose like “Samantha” (is anyone out there old enough to remember Elizabeth Montgomery?) and, then just magically “know everything” so I can get on with my work?? I wish I could have more fun, having fun. Glad “I’m not Alone.”

  47. I LOVE this post, Lisa! You and Kristen are such a hoot! O.K. I said, ‘hoot’, so I think that just gave away my age. Yep. Fifty-four and totally Facebooking it. I’m a very social person, so I really enjoy my FB amigos. Sure, the political ones, I bite my Latina tongue, snarl, then skip over ’em. Same with others already mentioned. Maybe just my high tolerance that I’m able to do that. I don’t mind the book launch annoucements. Geez, it’s not like I have to race over to Target/WalMart to buy a baby or wedding gift. And guilt…. heck, I’m Catholic. So over the guilt trips.

    Keep the cute kitty & dog pics coming FBookers. Oh, and I do share, so if it’s annoying, block if you must. No hard feelings. I’ll still ‘like’ you. 🙂

    RE: FB Class… I just tried to sign up, but the special WANAFB code discount for the class didn’t work. I would like to sign up today. Thanks! 🙂

    1. It should be working now.


      1. Mucho thanks, Jay! Worked perfectly and I’m all signed up for Lisa’s FB class now. 🙂

  48. I use FaceBook to keep track of my kids, mostly–I don’t use it for author promotion (I do have my WordPress post links to my blog, but that’s because my some of my FB contacts like to see what I’m writing.)

  49. Excellent! Now, can we have a class that tells the brutal truth about Twitter? That little social device confuses me as much as how to stay skinny!

    1. Oops! Just posted this on the post below yours, Jodi. Sorry… geez. I know, I’m so annoying. LOL! Anyhow, let me try again…

      That’s funny, Jodi! I agree. Twitter is, well, (cough, cough) all right, I guess. Definitely not as much fun or as interactive as FB

    2. Here is a WANA International class that starts October 29. The link is for the Bronze level but there are other levels offered as well.


  50. Have no idea how to work twitter or what a hashtag is, and yes the g-son set me up on fb and I admit I am guilty of everything to be done that can be done ~~wrong! so my apologies to all I may have offended I finally became so physically ill for all the sheep posting and reposting if you like can you help,etc etc. for heavens sake how many times must I see the same cartoon in
    one day. I am old decrepit, and cranky so shoot me but I am on the verge of leaving fb for all the sheep following them to neither neither land!
    I will check out Lisa’ sblog too thank you for a great bit of fun!

    1. That’s funny, Jodi! I agree. Twitter is, well, (cough, cough) all right, I guess. Definitely not as much fun or as interactive as FB. 🙂

      1. Sorry about the the mis-post. I meant to reply to Jodi, the post above yours. As a sign of goodwill, I’d like to offer you a piece of virtual See’s Chocolate. The mint truffles are the best-est 🙂

  51. I don’t think I’ve had this much fun reading a blog post in a long time . . . if ever. And might I add, I’m in Lisa’s writers’ group and can tell you for sure, she’s a great teacher with a wealth of info.

    1. Awww – thanks, Steph. The WANA love is so fabulous today!

  52. This is the second funniest blog post I’ve ever read. Thanks, Lisa! I’m one of the facebook lovers. 🙂

    1. What was the funniest? Can you share?

  53. I’m not very Facebook savvy; thanks for the guidance.

  54. Usually I just read and learn, but today I’m commenting because I would love to win Lisa’s class free.

  55. I’ve unfriended over half of my “friends” on Facebook for political ads. It wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t lies. My wall is a much happier place now.

  56. A great post, such a lot of laughs, but excellent advice. I ignor the guilt trip requests.

  57. This is so true and so well put. Thanks.

  58. I really need to do that class, Lisa. Great post, good to see your anti-Kristen strategies working. Inspired manoeuvre giving the phone to Spawn (webinar crashing fiend that he is), and bad luck about the candy at the end. No-one thinks any worse of you for going for the lollies (although being Australian, I thought Pixi Sticks might be a cute sort of winged pencil or something).
    Oh, we were talking about Facebook… I have a particular dislike of the’ click if you care, ignore if you don’t’ ilk; there are other options, people!
    Facebook seems very needy lately. If I interact more on it, then my notification levels go way up: ‘so and so, a distant acquaintance of [insert friendname here] also posted a comment on [friendname]’s post.’ I have a hard enough time interacting with my friends, let alone their friends also. And don’t get me started about the sponsored posts. Ok, time for my sedative now…

  59. Hmmm, now I have to think about it. Although I’m usually on FB once a day, on my days off sometimes I’ll make it two or three. Have to admit when I first started blogging I would post part as a note and then tag a bunch of people in it. Ooops! Don’t do that anymore! Now, I post in WANA and on my wall, but just once. I’ll tweet about it a couple times a day, though for a day or two.

  60. I’m barely capable of switching from my Profile to my Page and back again, LOL, so FB and I are not the best of friends! At least switching is easier now since they’ve changed it. I make it to FB about once a week on average, something I need to change. At least I disconnected FB and Twitter a while back 😉

    Biggest FB irritants – the Guilt Trips, political garbage, religious garbage, cute puppy pics, thread hi-jacking, wall invasions, and automated ‘messages’.

    But the very BIGGEST is the authors who post NOTHING but the exact same ‘buy my book’ plea, every single hour of every single day. At the very least, I expect authors to be able to show some creativity in those things, if they’re going to insist on posting them. Worse, the sales pitch with misspellings and grammar errors…

    OK, so there’s a LOT about FB that annoys me, LOL. I just hope I don’t contribute TOO heavily to anyone else’s irritant list. 😉

    Great post – Thanks!

  61. An informative, action-packed post! Facebook’s mysterious algorithm for which of my friends actually see my status updates is the most frustrating part for me. I understand, and appreciate that it’s a free service, but if I didn’t want someone to see my updates, I wouldn’t have friended them in the first place!

    Any thoughts on balancing a personal wall with a professional author page?

    1. Using your profile to build brand is really easy to do on FB, but people will look for a behind-the-scenes glimpse into your life. They’ll be looking for more personal posts. They understand that your page is about your work (though you MUST provide value and interesting content that isn’t about selling). You have people only follow your page or your profile, or both. Provide unique value in both places.

  62. It does seem that every time I sort of get things figured out, then FB changes things. I remind myself, I’m using the service for free and I don’t really have time to whine. I do wonder how much impact I’m having when you read that most of your stuff never gets seen. At this point, I’m trying to do more with less, because Life keeps happening. But great post and great reminder!

  63. I like it when my author friends let me know about a new book (when it sells, when it is due on shelves, when they get their first ARC in the mail, etc.) Since publishing is not the speediest enterprise, it is spread out over months. It gives me hope that I will someday have the same joy.

    What I DON’T like are people who ask me for money to fund their own publishing/projects. It is also annoying when someone posts on my wall a blatant ad for their book. It happens rarely, but does mark them as amateurish. I wonder how many people actually respond?

    I LOVE what TommiLyn in post #27 has to say. I, too, just scroll on by. I’ve only blocked people who are mean or hurtful to others, not people who are expressing their viewpoints, even though they may be different from mine.

  64. Hi Lisa!

    I have a blog, website, twitter account and a Facebook account. I’m glad to know I’ve never done the things you’ve mentioned but sometimes those things have been done to me. I have online writing groups to discuss writerly things so why try to force myself on others and risk losing friends or network connections I’ve worked so hard to make? ;~)

    Donna L Martin

  65. Lisa-great post!

    One service that I keep promising myself to use (and not) is that if you DO want to post several times a day to facebook (2-3 updates), you can use a social media dashboard, like HootSuite, where you can schedule posts and send them to twitter, facebook, linkedin, and several other sites. I am posting this here, because often when people are “getting into” using social media to do a “little” advertising (although your post *really* puts the smack down in a great way!) they schedule 20-30 minutes for all their Social Media time. So you get 3-4 posts in an hour, and nothing the rest of the day. Although it takes away spontaneity, by scheduling your posts over the whole day you reach a wider audience and don’t annoy (as many) people. Thanks again!

  66. Put me in irons and lock me up: I link my Facebook and Twitter accounts.

    To be fair they are only linked in one direction–posts on Facebook show up on my Twitter feed. If I linked them in both directions people would run away screaming because my Twitter posts are decidedly less….um…politically neutral and that is NOT appropriate for my Facebook page (ok, I have crossed the line on FB from time to time but, hey, that’s some of the reason people are reading…I think). I’m sure I’ll evolve how I manage it all and this article was very helpful and made me giggle.

    Some days I’d like to unplug from all social media and just write. Let me know when that is the cool way to do things. 😉

    Thanks again.

  67. Very cool post! Good to see I’m not doing any of these (and I have a personal pet peeve about linked Twitter accounts posting on Facebook). I feel guilty sometimes because all of my authors friends talk about how great Twitter is, but I do find that I enjoy Facebook more. Call me silly, but I prefer a complete conversation rather than one I have to track down. 🙂 would love to learn more!

  68. i had a facebook once though i might not go back to it someday

  69. Excellent post, Lisa and bad luck about the Pixie Sticks. Some people stoop so low just to win! I really need to take this class. I have my Twitter and Facebook feeds linked (at Kristen’s suggestion, I might add) and never realized that it is now not the done thing.
    Going to WANA is a little like going to the cinema these days, as well as seeing the feature (class I’ve enrolled for), i see all of these other movies (classes) that i just have to see (do).
    I particularly dislike the ‘click like if you care or ignore if you don’t’ posts. There are other options, people! I also dislike seeing advertisements from companies show up in my timeline, and i really dislike how Apple collects information from iPhones running iOs6 and sells it to advertisers… whoops, wrong rant.

    • Debbie Morella on October 22, 2012 at 8:57 am
    • Reply

    What a fun & entertaining post! I love hanging with writers. Going to check out that class, Lisa. Hope it hasn’t started yet.

  70. Love your kidnapping series. You have such excellent victims… er… “GUESTS” here all the time!

    Least favorite thing about FB: People starting an argument with me ON MY OWN PERSONAL PAGE. Nothing says “de-friend” more than public whippings.

    I’ve seen the argument against automation before, but I think it depends from where you’re coming. I use Twitter & FB much as I would email or an answering machine — for slow dialogue that might take place a sentence at a time over hours or even days. I figure when I start a conversation online, it’s already NOT a personal, one-on-one thing that must take place only during a specific window of time. I like being able to respond at my own pace, & allowing others to do the same. I can see how inviting others over for a party & then not having drinks out would be bad. But what if I invite others over for a party & leave a keg in the yard to sip on till I get back? And if I supply the solo cups, even better, right? It’s like the longest potluck block party EVER. Everyone stops by as they are able, leaves a dish, has a plate of whatever looks good, & leaves. I might come outside & check in for a bit, make sure no one has knocked over the port-a-potty, & refill the bucket-o-ice, but since it’s casual & laid back… I’m going back inside where there’s air conditioning!

  71. Most of my Facebook interaction is in private groups, not from my wall. Although I do publish my posts from my wall, and that’s where I get most of my traffic for my site. It is a fine line and I’m sure I cross it sometimes. But I do try to mostly use FB for social interaction and not self-promotion.

  72. Any thoughts on highlighting even through your writer groups? If you all have the same goal, then its more like sharing then spamming. Otherwise, I wouldn’t super promote to my friends, except that I haven’t had to yet. 😛

  73. Fun post, Lisa. Why was it not hard to see Kristen banging on the door trying to get in? Great tips and I would love to take your class, next time around–too busy right now but I definitely need tips on author branding using Facebook and you are the one to teach it:)

  74. *love this*!

  75. This one thing driving me a bit bonkers is friends tagging me on Facebook for products they think I might like that they have produced. I DON’T UNDERSTAND IT. It feels unfair that I have to go un-tag myself so that images of their art, however nice, is not what people see when they (or I) click to see pictures of myself that I have been tagged in! And in untagging myself from them I feel like I’m calling them out on it when I really wish we could all just keep it a big secret that they did it and that I un-did it. Shhh…!

  76. I don’t do most of these things, EXCEPT . .. . . .

    I post a lot of images on facebook and have linked it to my twitter. I don’t use hashtags on twitter, so it doesn’t generally matter that the two are linked and also, no one has complained about me posting multiple posts per day. In fact, I prefer friending people who are just like me and post a lot in a day, so it works out.

    Otherwise, I agree with you.

  77. Hi. Funny written post :D. Great points. I agree with all of them.

    I’m a fan of the function “Hide”, so when I see “too many postings of the same message or subject in a very short amount of time every hour every day” (tired of even writing that sentence without a pause), most of the times I will not un-friend someone, but I will hide those types of messages.

    I also have blocked most applications / games and I will continue to do so, because I’m in love with my PC, thus being very protective about it. Even though I’m qualified to fix whatever problem will occur, I don’t have the time nor the desire to fix issues and to clean up messes created by apps/games.

    Additionally, I get annoyed when people use too many apps which will hijack their friends’ accounts & info, without checking whether it is safe to do so. Some of them end up being malicious software, spamware, or worse. It’s a risk we all take in FB, we will use applications, our friends will use apps. However, please take some precautions before drooling about who saw your profile, for example. There is no such thing on FB. Get an account on LinkedIn, there you can find out who has seen your profile.

    Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion, but I would much appreciate it to keep it on a general aspect and not to bombard me (hit after hit after hit) with the political candidates one is supporting or why one is better than the other. Political campaigns have their own spaces and if I want to be there, I can get on my own.

    I don’t really like attempts of brainwashing in any form and in any subject. I like very much to be informed about anything and everything, but hitting me with the same message, subject or issue, repetitively, will have the opposite effect: I won’t surrender. I won’t agree, I won’t buy, I won’t give in.

    I try to stick to the golden rule: Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t like be done to you.

    Great post 🙂

  1. […] How to Get Unfriended, Ignored, and Blocked on Facebook by Lisa Hall-Wilson. By the way, Lisa is running a Facebook class soon through WANA International – be sure to check out the special offer at the end of the post – pixie sticks included! […]

  2. […] How to Get Unfriended, Ignored, and Blocked on Facebook […]

  3. […] From Lisa Hall-Wilson (who kidnapped Kristem Lamb’s Blog) – How To Get Unfriended, Ignored, and Blocked on Facebook. […]

  4. […] Finally, I thought I’d share this little bit of info after Jenny made the comment below on a guest post I did on Kristen Lamb’s blog last week. […]

  5. […] How To Get Unfriended, Ignored, and Blocked on Facebook […]

  6. […] How to Get Unfriended, Ignored, and Blocked on Facebook by best selling author Kristen Lamb. […]

  7. […] How to Get Unfriended, Ignored, and Blocked on Facebook by Lisa at Kristen Lamb’s Blog […]

  8. […] How to get unfriended, ignored, and blocked on facebook […]

I LOVE hearing your thoughts!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.