);

Tag: writer humor

A Writer’s Guide to Surviving The Holiday Party

Today, we have a holiday treat. My friend Liz Crowe (A.K.A. The Beer Wench) is here to help us make it through the holidays with our egos in tact. Liz is cool…like that zany cousin who let you watch Jaws when you were 5 and scarred you for life but then also taught you the proper …

Continue reading

Don't Freeze Your Family—Physics PROVES Why We Writers Need to Lighten UP

This is empirical “proof” that yes, we parents were correct. Toddlers do drain energy. This also “proves” that children, as they get bigger, drain even MORE energy. Think how fast a 98 oz. margarita would chill your tamales (being “Tamale Mom” and “Tamale Dad”) and this explains why teenagers drain energy faster…unless the 98 oz margarita, um teenager wants to date or wear too much makeup and that will temporarily heat the tamales, er parents.

Why Settle for Your Reader's Wallet When You Can Get in Her PANTS?

Panty Prose is dedicated to keeping women fresh while selling your books. Attending a writing conference? Well, there is a bathroom and everyone knows that even agents have to go potty sometime. Why not help them out? Keep them springtime fresh and give them your query. Elevator pitches are for losers, when you can use the Panty Pitch. The Panty Pitch comes in three fragrances, Sonnet’s Eve, New Office Supplies, and Cinnabon.

The Top 5 TSA-Friendly Zombie-Killing Weapons for the Apocalypse

Today I am frantically packing to go to New York City. I will be speaking on a panel at Thrillerfest, and all I can think is, Gee, I hope the Zombie Apocalypse doesn’t start when I’m in NY and away from Hubby, Spawn and all the guns. I know normal people don’t think things like this, but …

Continue reading