);

Tag: humor

You Know You're a Writer When…

The NSA, CIA and FBI no longer bothers with you. Likely, they know you by name and now outsource to the creepy ice cream truck to just make a few passes and check to make sure you’re still at your computer.

Santa Claus Recruited to Improve NSA's Public Image & Head Intelligence Operations

This guy travels the world faster than Google. Think of how much more efficient spying would be if we could do it as fast as Santa. Santa can hop down a few hundred million chimneys, eat cookies, take time to nicely stack presents with an appreciation for presentation and then LEAVE with no proof he’s been there other than missing cookies and that new iPad we asked for beautifully wrapped and left under our Christmas trees.

Three Important Life Lessons Only Learned from Insomnia

Well, it’s 3:18 a.m. and since sleeping still isn’t in the stars, I am writing…while in a yoga stretch unkinking my back. It’s been a rough week. I didn’t sleep for a week due to pain. We figured out the likeliest culprit (since both Hubby and I have had our backs scanned, X-rayed, massaged and …

Continue reading

Jaws, Hydrophobia, and the REAL Story of Our Nation's Independence

Fourth of July was a time when all my family came together and my older cousins had an opportunity to psychologically scar me for life babysat me. When I was 5, my older cousins let me watch Jaws and instilled powerful hydrophobia that endures to this day.

They also let me watch Friday the 13th at age 10, ruining freshwater for me as well. Basically, if it ain’t chlorinated? I’m not getting in it. Expert angler Jeremy Wade from River Monsters has only reinforced that people who swim in anything other than the hotel pool are just asking to be part of the food chain.

Crested Butte, The ASSASSIN-WICH and I Made It Out ALIVE!

I keep having to chat and smile and then sweetly and politely excuse myself so I can run to the closest bathroom…and thank GOD I carried makeup and a toothbrush. I attend every session I can because 1) I want to support other speakers, 2) I am eager to learn and 3) there was NO WAY I was going to make it UP the mountain to my room without, um, dying.