This week I have to go to a parent-teacher meeting regarding The Spawn. They are concerned he is developmentally behind because he’s four and people have a hard time understanding him. His speech isn’t where it “should be.” And this just puts a knot in my skirt.
Tag: humor
May 02 2014
Nothing Says "Forever" Like a Dead Mother-In-Law Solitaire
I had to vacuum up my father, and he’s now laid to rest with cremated flip-slops, cat fur, dust bunnies one of my favorite earrings, and I hope that makes him happy after being a smart@$$ about that “being blown up in space” crap.
Apr 02 2014
Don't Freeze Your Family—Physics PROVES Why We Writers Need to Lighten UP
This is empirical “proof” that yes, we parents were correct. Toddlers do drain energy. This also “proves” that children, as they get bigger, drain even MORE energy. Think how fast a 98 oz. margarita would chill your tamales (being “Tamale Mom” and “Tamale Dad”) and this explains why teenagers drain energy faster…unless the 98 oz margarita, um teenager wants to date or wear too much makeup and that will temporarily heat the tamales, er parents.
Jan 10 2014
You Know You're a Writer When…
The NSA, CIA and FBI no longer bothers with you. Likely, they know you by name and now outsource to the creepy ice cream truck to just make a few passes and check to make sure you’re still at your computer.